Tears of Shame--Chapter 6
Raquel starred with at the phone, a blank expression swept over her darker skinned features. "Why didn't he tell me he was leaving?"

Yvonne couldn't believe the gall of her friend. "Why? Why? I'll tell you why. Because you threw food at him! Girl, you broke my fan in the midst of your frenzied rage! If that's not enough of a reason to withhold information…I don't know what is…"

"Vonnie he was going to break up with me!"

Yvonne didn't argue, but she wasn't about to agree either. She sat down next to Raquel on the bed, putting her arm around her friend. "All I'm saying," she began quietly, "is that you didn't let him speak…if in fact he was breaking up with you…he probably had a good reason. You two had fun together, and he seemed to genuinely care about you….you told me that after your first date."

Raquel remained silent…thinking…wondering what Howie was doing right at that moment…wondering if he was thinking about her. What have I done?" she asked herself unhappily as she covered her mouth with her hand.


"And my name is Howie D and we my friends…we're the Backstreet Boys…keep the Backstreet pride alive!"

The response was absolutely phenomenal. The German crowd roared to life. And I thought Sea World was intimidating Howie thought nervously as he licked his lips, scanning the crowd of well over 10,000. Wiping the perspiration from his upper lip, he took a bow and took his position for the final song of the concert, I'll Never Break Your Heart . As he did so, he noticed a pretty dark haired girl near the front of the crowd.

"Raquel?" he asked out loud.

The girl went ballistic when he looked at her and said something, and he realized that it wasn't really Raquel. Sighing, he began singing, his alto voice creating the perfect additive to the harmony.

I'll never break your heart,
I'll never make you cry

I'm a hypocrite! he thought shamefully as the words came out of his mouth. The words weren't backed up with the drive that they should have been. That's all they were…words….words from his voice…not his heart.


Raquel was going mad with curiosity. She had a feeling Howie was purposely hiding his career all along, but she figured maybe he was ashamed of his job. Visions of his porshe and beautiful house came to mind and she realized that she has been an idiot to think that someone with as much money as he did would actually be ashamed of his career.

She sat on her bed, glumly starring at the blank television set. Lately all she did was work out and hide in her dorm room. And that's all right! she rationalized as she turned the TV on. She felt safe here…safe from men….safe from food. An image of her stern roommate appeared in her mind: and safe from mother hens.

Raquel changed the channel to MTV. John Norris, the MTV reporter greeted her like he did every afternoon at this time.

"…now some of you may even be familiar with this new pop group….though their first single 'We've Got it Goin' On' barely made a ripple in the American charts, European ticket sales have been through the roof…"

A video clip of a concert in a large Frankfurt arena came into view. The five guys on stage displayed perfectly 'n sync dance moves, obviously pleasing the crowd.

Raquel leaned forward…focusing on the blonde one. Her hand flew to her mouth in shock: "no way…" she murmured. Her eyes remained glued to the TV as quick close-ups of the faces were displayed.

"…with 25 sold out concerts and slowly rising pop sensations such as the trendy England based quintet, The Spice Girls….it looks like the Backstreet Boys may be taking on the US of A in the near future."

"Oh dear God…." It was Howie…. Howie was on a stage...singing and dancing. "Oh Lord…"


~*~The next day~*~

"What?! You're crazy!"

"Vonnie…please…don't tell me what to do anymore…this is something I have to do ok?" Raquel tossed a pair of shorts in with the rest of her clothes.

"Why can't you just wait for him to come back?" Yvonne pleaded.

"He's on a world tour. He'll be gone, at the very least…several months."

Yvonne knew this was one argument she wasn't going to win. Sighing…she reached into her desk drawer and produced a box of condoms, and tossed it on top of the pile of clothing.

Raquel rolled her eyes and removed the box. "I don't think so. I'm not like you."

Yvonne scowled, but didn't say anything. Reluctantly she looked at her friend. "Tell your folks you're spending spring break with me and the fam?"

Raquel nodded, hugging her friend.


Chapter 7