Chapter 16


"You've got to be kidding me!" I said wearily as I looked at the clothing set aside for me to try on.

"Provided it all fits well, these are our concert costumes," Candy said.

"Why don't we just dance around naked and save some money?" I commented sarcastically as I fingered a silver halter-top. "I guess it's too late to complain huh?"

"Selena, we went through this last time remember?"

Sighing, I nodded and then held the skimpy shirt up to myself. "I'll just have to live up to my current Backstreets' skanky woman image."

Candy rolled her eyes, "you know that's not true. Any fan true fan already knows that you are a bio major at one of the toughest schools on the East Coast."

"Are we ready to PAHTY?" AJ popped into the room.

I patted him on his tattooed forearm. "Not tonight, Bone. I'm sorry."

Candy rolled her eyes. "See what she's put me through? She's been glum for the past twenty-four hours."

"Umm…in case you haven't noticed, we don't exactly have a sell-out crowd." I pointed out.

"We're still going to have fun ladies," AJ said as he adjusted his fisherman's cap.

"Why aren't you in costume yet Selena?" Kevin asked me as he entered the room. "We're on in ten minutes…" he frantically looked at me in my jeans and sneakers. There was a thin layer of perspiration above his brow.

"Fine, I'll be back in three," I grabbed the long black linen pants that went with the halter-top and returned promptly, my hands placed around my uncomfortably exposed mid-section.

"Now we can all color coordinate!" said Candy, clad in her own gold halter-top.

She looked a lot better in it than I did. Her abs were rock hard, while mine were…well they certainly weren't rock hard.

"Why the long face sweetie?" It was Howie, all ready to perform.

"Oh…don't mind me. I'm just a little nervous." I fibbed. Actually, I was nervous, but it wasn't about the show, it was about performing with Brian…and then having to hang out with him for the remainder of the evening, knowing that he didn't even want to be near me.

"I've got sunshiiiine…on a cloudy day….when it's cold outside…" Howie crooned to me.

I grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks D." I couldn't help but wish it had come from Brian though.


"B. are ya nervous or somethin?" asked Nick as he furrowed his brow, concerned for his buddy.

Brian grinned "nothing that I can't handle little dude," he ruffled Nick's hair.

"Hey!, I just fixed it just right. Man, you're a pain Rok. Now I have to go and check it again."

Brian laughed, "you little ham. You just want to look good for all of those chicks."

"Well there aren't going to be many to impress this time, but I still want to make a good appearance." Nick disappeared to fix his hair.

Brian took his last few minutes of privacy to say a little prayer. He didn't know how he could handle being around Selena when she was so angry at him.


I spread my legs, shoulder width apart and crossed my arms, placing my head face down onto my forearms. Move With Me , one of last year's singles, blared through the speakers. It was actually the first dance routine I ever learned to do.

AJ, being the ham he was, walked screamed at the audience and, and the modest audience ate it right up.

Mechanically I performed the dance steps that I knew all too well. I grapevined on over to Nick, trying my best not to go overboard with those darned pelvic thrusts that Fatima found to be so necessary. It didn't take me too long to warm up to the audience. After Move With Me, we did a really old number, Everybody. After that routine, it was time for the backup dancers to leave the stage and allow the boys to do some ballads.


Nick took his seat at the stool and as the opening notes to Let the Music Heal Your Soulfilled the air. It was one of his favorite songs, and he got the chills whenever he sang it. It brought back memories from when the group first got together. Not only that, but it basically summed up his attitude toward music.

Oh if somone writes a song,
with a simple rhyme,
just a song,
where his feelings show.
And if someone feels the same,
About that simple song
Oh sometimes, you can't hear them say:
Music gives you happiness or sadness,
But it also, it also heals your soul.
Let the music heal your soul,
Let the music take control,
Let the music give you the power
To move any mountain.
Oh if someone plays piano
With some simple chord….

After the final notes rang through the air, it took all the will power Nick had not to cry. He scanned the crowd, which had grown only a little in the past hour. So many loving and adoring gazes were resting on him. He suddenly had the deepest desire to go out and hug every fan out there. Every loyal person in that crowd…they had stuck by the group despite the horrible rumors circulating about. They had stood by the Backstreet Boys. They had stood by him. The guys took their bows, and Nick threw kisses at the crowd. He realized that it wasn't about trying to get the old fans back, but about cultivating the ones he still had. He had an idea, and he hoped the guys would like go for it.


"Nick that's one of the best ideas you've had in a long time," AJ said, wiping sweat off of his brow.

"Oh great!" Nick jumped up and down giddily.

"Where does this kid get all of his energy?" asked Brian looking fondly at Nick.

"I don't know Nick," I teased. "Do you really think it's safe?" I asked. "I mean, what if someone does this?" and with that I proceeded to close the few feet in between our bodies by leaping onto his unsuspecting back, wrapping my legs around his form.

"Whoa what the hell have you been eating, girl?" Nick joked as he held onto my legs and ran around, trotting like a horse. "Let's go and meet our fans fellas!" Nick yelled.

"Niickkk!! Wait for Q…and if you're going to go out there at least let me d-"

"Hey Rok, she's all yours!" Nick let me down and Brian picked me up.

"What the hell am I? A cheap thrill or something?" I asked.

"No, you're my girlfriend." Brian stated matter-of-factly.

There was silence in the room, as every eye focused on us.

AJ broke the silence and darted out the door to greet the crowd "what's up Walt Disney World?" he shrieked.

"Let me at 'em!" Nick laughed and ran out after AJ.

Kev soon followed, and Howie looked at us, shrugged and calmly walked out after Kevin.


Chapter 17