A few years back, I was livin here in Florida, and I met me a wonderful man. I was down yonder in the swamp, huntin' alligators one Saturday, like I always did. Well this good lookin' city man came wonderin my way. I could tell he was lost. I said, "Hey thar young feller, whatcha doin so far from da city?" He told me how his car broke down and he was tryin ta take a shortcut through the swamp to git back ta town. I told him he was crazy fer wonderin alone in the swamp, wit da gators and all. He said ifin I would help him, he'd be eternally gratefull. Well I tooks him in and fed the poor little feller. And gave him some new britches, seein hows his were all tore up. One thing lead ta anothern, and well that thar ol' city feller and I started whoopin it up. (if'in ya gits my meanin') Well late that night, whiles I was a sleepin, that thar ol' city feller up and tore outta thar quicker than a pole cat in heat! Never did see that thar city fellar agin'

Nine months passed and I had me a baby. I knew'd it was that city fellars child. Seein how I aint had nobody else around, cept for the gators. Well I knews if'in the folk in town gots word of dis, I woulda gots me a reputation as one of them thar loosey goosey women. So's I made up a story hows I found the baby bein' raised by a family of possums, and hows I took him in an' raised him as my own. I done named him Torpedo Joe. An' he grewed up ta be a handsome sucessfull man. In fact, as ya'll know, he's the Mayor of Schmoeville.

Only one thing he did I twernt so proud of. He hooked hisself up with this dern dancin' chicken named Joe Schmoe. Now dont git me wrong, I luv that thar little critter. But last summer, he done came down ta visits his poor ol' grandma Swampwoman. While he was here, he tangled up with one of my prize banty hens. Now I got me bout a hundred of them thar dancin chickens!