Naive Girl


Written: April 5,1998

"Jenna..."

The petite girl slowly jerked out of her thoughts, "hmm...what?"

"Didn't you hear a word I just said?"

"Sorry..." Jenna drifted off her voice as she looked at her bubbly friend sitting next to her.

"You were thinking about him again weren't you?" Niki asked in disgust.

"Niki I can't help it! Everytime this stupid bus drives by his house I can't help but think of those few nights we spent together."

"I understand. But you have to forget about him. He is just another asshole guy."

"But he isn't," Jenna responded.

Jenna liked Mark for about eight months now. And he never ceased to amaze her. She loved him. No one knew. They all thought she was over him or just liked him a little bit. Even Niki, who was her best friend. She told everyone she was over him, even herself. He never did anything exactly wrong to her. Or at least she believed he didn't.

"Jenna...why do you always think about him? He was a jerk towards you."

"How so?" she always hated to hear everyones explanations but it never stopped her from asking.

"Well...let's see. You showed him how you cared and he just threw it back in your face."

"No he didn't," but Jenna knew Niki was right.

"Jen why do you like him so....."

"So you do know?" Jenna interrupted.

"Um..duh! Okay everyday we pass by here and you just stare...first at the post office, then the country club, and then finally his house."

"Well....I just can't help it. We spent some amazing nights together. I will never forget how shy he acted around me. I should've known that he was at least a little bit interested. Now I will never know...."

"You'll never know what?"

"How he would've held me, kissed me, loved me....."

"Jen...he wouldn't have loved you. He doesn't know what love is."

"Niki how can you talk so coldly about him?"

"Because it's all true. He might be smart but he isn't that smart. You are the greatest person but he will never see that. He is too narrow-minded."

"He did see it.....didn't he?"

"No....Well I'll see you tommorrow....."

"Okay.....bye Niki." Then she got off the bus.

Jenna watched as her friend walked across the street. Noone undestands me....she didn't understand why her best friend was condemning her feelings. Everyone was blind to the fact that her heart could never love again because of the pain he caused her. She pondered in her thoughts until she saw her bus stop up ahead. When the bus came to a halt she hurried off. Wanting to get home to do what she plotted late last night.

"Bye Mrs. Katz."

"Bye Dear."

And that was the last good bye that would slip out of the naive girls mouth. When Jenna reached her room she went to her secret drawer. No one knew about it. Not even her parent's. She had found it when she was looking for a book last summer. It was in the way back of her dresser. When she found what she was looking for she went to her window and closed the blinds. She held the cold heavy metal to her head and pulled its trigger........

~*~*~*~*~*~*~


A few days later everyone was still in shock from the local suicide of a beautiful and talented girl. Especially Mark Sanderson.

"Mark you have mail," called Mrs. Sanderson from the kitchen.

"Okay Mom..." he walked into where his mom was, "where is it?"

"On the counter dear."

"Ok thanks."

When Mark found the rose covered envelope he grabbed it and walked to his room. He put his stuff down and jumped onto his bed and clumsly opened the envelope that he held in his hands. When he reached in and found a piece of stationary that matched the envelope he felt kind of flattered. It wasn't everyday he got such a formal looking letter. When he saw what was written he wasn't flattered anymore.

Mark--

You'll never know how much I loved you......

Jenna

And Jenna would never know how much Mark loved her. And how he was going to declare it to her the night she gave up on him and everything else.........

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