Another Quote Page

Fun with Quotes!

  • 1. The certain proof that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that no one has bothered to make contact with us
  • 2. I had a lovely evening. Unfortunately, this wasn't it.
  • 3. Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car
  • 4. Take your life into your own hands, and what happens. A terrible thing: no one to blame.
  • 5. It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
  • 6. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you are still a rat!
  • 7. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
  • 8. Your in big trouble when your mom sets you up on a blind date
  • 9. That guy couldn't sell out a phone booth to his parents.
  • 10. "New Year's Resolutions" is a marketing Campaign invented by the makers of Nicotine Flavoured Chewing Gum
  • 11. I used to believe in reincarnation, but that was long ago, in another life. 12. You can't imagine the extra work I had when I was a God.
  • 13. A camel is a horse designed by a committee.
  • 14. It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats .
  • 15. You know it is going to be a bad day when... you wake up and discover that your waterbed sprang a leak, and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
  • 16. If my grandmother had balls, she'd be my grandfather .
  • 17. Flattery is all right, if you don't inhale.
  • 18. Yes, God made man first, but there's always a rough draft before the final copy.
  • 19. How much money did you make last year? Mail it in.
  • 20. Anyone who hates Dogs and Kids Can't be All Bad.
  • 21. I don't care to belong to any organization that accepts me as a member
  • 22. Sometimes you're the windshield ... sometimes you're the bug!!
  • 23. Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.
  • 24. The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry.
  • 25. There's so much polution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all in.
  • 26. Go away, I'm allright.
  • 27. Either this wallpaper goes or I do.
  • 28. Thank you, but I have other plans.
  • 29. That's a great outfit you're wearing . . . I have just the perfect hanger for it.


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