to my page of Jokes!
Most of them I have gotten through either subscriptions to joke lists, or from friends. Unfortunately, I did not "save" who or where they came from, but a good joke should shared and passed on (imho)....
So, here are a few to get this page started:
2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com
Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13) Don't use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing Along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is> especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
24) Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess"
25) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do"
29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"
30) Everytime you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"
It says: "Press Any Key"
It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."
It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E"
It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 30 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."
It says: "Installing program to C:\
It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."
It says: "Please insert disk 11"
It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks."
It says: "Not enough memory"
It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K." It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...."
It means: "... However, if you put the CD in right side up..."
It says: "Please Wait...." It means: "... Indefinitely."
It says: "Directory does not exist...." It means: ".... any more. Whoops."
It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back. Kiss your afternoon goodbye..."
The graphics on this page courtesy of
