The weeks went by slowly for Brian too. The manger of the tour had really gotten on his back about Erin. They were not happy about Erin being seen and mistaken for one of the Boy's girlfriends. Brian was told to keep his sister hidden. When he asked why he couldn't just tell the press that he had a sister he was told it would cause too much negative publicity. Fans would wonder who this girl was and why Brian's mother had given him up.
Brian was not sure how to approach Erin on this subject. He was fairly sure that she would find even the idea of being a Backstreet girlfriend repulsive. After thinking about it a while, Brian decided the best way was to just come right out and tell her. He waited for Erin to emerge from her bunk. She seemed to spend so much time there. He finally caught her by herself one morning.
"Erin."
She didn't reply, but have a short, curt nod of the head.
"I have to tell you something important."
"Then tell away," she said with her back to him.
"Darn it, would you at least face me! You have no idea how hard it is to speak to someone's back."
"Oh, yes I do," Erin spoke softly.
"What was that?"
She turned around and shook her head, "Nothing."
"Look, the management has been on my back because of the little incident you and the fans had last week. The fans thought you were one of our girlfriends and ever since they've been wanting to know whose girlfriend you are and why you were on one of our buses."
Erin's head jerked up," They think I'm what!"
"One of our girlfriends."
"Why the heck would they think that? I'm way to young!"
"True, but the fans don't know that. They only saw you for a few seconds and at some distance. They couldn't tell the difference between a 16 year old and an 18 year old."
"I'm four- Erin cut off. How could she have been so stupid! Brian thought she was 16.
"What did you say?" Brian asked in a curious voice.
"Nothing, so what do you want me to do about it?"
"First of all, you must be with us or a trusted member of the stage crew at all times. No more staying on the bus during concerts. Nick said you and Stacie get along well, so you can stay with her during concerts if you like and if she doesn't mind. You are also not to wander around in public by yourself. In short, you are to have someone with you at all times."
Erin's mouth fell open, "No way! There is no earthly way! I would rather die that be escorted everywhere! You can forget it!"
"I'm sorry Erin, but you don't have a choice in the matter. Our management insisted on this. They weren't thrilled that our fans thought one of our girlfriends was on the bus with us."
"I couldn't care less. Your 'management' is just going to have to live with it. I refuse to be followed everywhere I go!"
Brian's voice got louder, "Erin, this is life. If you want to live with me you have to follow the rules. You will just have to make the best of it."
"I'm not going to make the best of anything! As for living with you, I really don't have much choice in the matter. I was dragged here by the police if you will remember. I refuse to be escorted everywhere! I said no and I meant no. End of discussion!" Erin turned on her heel and walked away.
Brian took a few swift steps and positioned himself in front of her. He grabbed her shoulders and his voice became dangerously low.
"Erin, you have no choice in the matter. I am your guardian and what I say goes. You will be escorted everywhere. If I hear another word from you, you will be escorted only by me or another one of the boys. Stacie will be out. Do you understand?"
Erin nodded, but she gave Brian a look of pure hate. He stepped out of her path and she stalked past him. She went to her bunk and fumed. Who did he think he was anyway?
After a few minutes she heard voices outside her bunk. They were soft, but if she strained she could make out what they were saying.
It sounded like Nick and Brian.
"What happened?" Nick was saying.
"I told Erin her new rules and she exploded. I had to get a little forceful."
"Oh, well I have a letter for her. It arrived at the venue yesterday and I forgot to give it to her."
"Who's it from?"
"Some place in Pennsylvania. See, there's no return address, but its postmarked Philadelphia."
"Now who would Erin know in Philadelphia?"
Erin was in her bunk seething with rage. How dare they try to find out who was writing her letters! She marched out of hr bunk to where Nick and Brian were standin.
"Give me the letter now" she said in a very tight voice.
Nick, his face wide with shock, handed it over silently.
"I don't know why you think its you business who writes to me. Just for your information, I have a friend in Philadelphia. I was in a foster home with her. Any questions?"
"Erin we're sorry- Nick started.
"Yeah, right" Erin turned on her heel and walked into the Entertainment Room where Kevin and Howie were.
"Could I have a little private time?" she asked.
"Um, yeah, sure, Erin" Kevin answered. He and Howie quickly left.
Erin sat down on the couch. She had lied to Nick and Brian. She didn't know anyone in Philadelphia. Keturah lived in an Amish community outside Philadelphia and she could only guess that the letter was from her. Erin opened the envelope and was pleased to see Keturah's familiar handwriting.
My dear friend,
It was indeed good to hear from thee. I too have missed thee greatly.
I
shared thy letter with Joshua. He was as surprised as I at the sudden
turn
of events in thy life. He and I both couldn't help but think that it
might
be for the better. We had always worried about thee being in X. I
understand it was necessary for survival, thy but still…
It does not sound as if thee and thy brother are getting along well. I am afraid I have no such experience in such matters. Joshua and I have always gotten along well. Try to be patient and understand it is as hard for him as it is for thee. Don't try to shut him out of thy life. Give him a chance. I wish thee had not lied to him in so many areas. In the matter of thy age, but though thee has not lied directly to him by telling more falsehoods, thee has lied to him by not telling him the truth. I would urge thee to tell him about thy lungs. If thee has more trouble breathing he will not know what is happening. It could cost thee thy life.
Not to contradict myself, but I might say that there is a place for thee in our family if things become unbearable. I have talked to Oma and Papa and they say thee is welcome to come to our family. To come, thee would have to run away from thy brother. That of course would be illegal. So do not come unless thee must. It is not that we do not want thee, but thee could get into a large amount of trouble should the police catch thee.
I do understand why thee would not want to tell thy brother about X. Perhaps in time thee will be ready to do so.
Only Joshua and I know that thee killed Erek. Erin, thee had no choice. He would have surely killed thee if thee had not moved fast enough. I will refrain from telling the rest of the family unless you wish me to.
Onto happier subjects. Since thee has left our family we have been blessed by one more child. Her name is Amya and she is 2. Joshua is 17, I am of course 14, Nathan is 12, Rueben is 10, Ruth is 7 and Sarah is 4. Our house is full of children, but I love it.
All of our bunch remember thee. They send their remembrances. Katya asked me to remember her to thee especially.
Joshua is courting Anna Neho. Thee remembers she used to listen to us recite Scripture…
Keturah's letter went on updating Erin on all the happenings in the Lancaster Amish Community. After she finished reading it, Erin closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the couch as memories flooded her brain.
She remembered sneaking out one night when she and Keturah were ten. They had crept down the stairs and out the door trying to avoid creaky boards as they went. Erin had tripped on a small doorstop sending them both into giggles. They had put on their dark dresses, but kept off the white head coverings and aprons so they wouldn't be seen. Their bare feet had flown across the wet grass, their braids bouncing on their backs. Keturah, the more daring of the two, reached the spot first and pulled off her dress leaving just her petticoat and undershirt on. Erin followed suit and they both slipped into the cool water of the creek. They splashed and swam for hours, it seemed. They laughed that night. It was the last night that Erin could remember being really happy. After they were completely waterlogged, they sneaked back into the white house. When they reached the top of the steps they were met by a disapproving Joshua.
"What does thee think thee is doing?" he asked in a stern voice.
"Sneaking back into the house," Keturah flipped a wet braid over her shoulder.
"Thee are both dripping! If I ever catch thee doing this again I will tell Oma and Papa."
"Oh, thee will not catch us again" Keturah winked at Erin.
"Next time we'll just be more careful," Keturah giggled as they skittered back to their room under Joshua's watchful eye.
But there was no next time. The morning after, a social worker and a police officer came to the Hutchin's farm. They took Erin back to her mother. For a few weeks Erin's mother was all right. Erin didn't get any of the live she had received at the Hutchins, but gone were the beatings and the verbal abuse. After a few weeks though, everything went back to the way it was before Erin was sent to the Hutchins. Erin was beaten and starved. All the welfare money went to the bars with Lydia Logan. Before long, Erin left the apartment for most of the day and returned only to sleep. By the time she got home her mother was to dazed from alcohol and drugs to care anyway. Soon Erin started foraging for food on her own. After just 4 months Erin joined X. There she had found a family…
Erin jolted out of her memories. Brian was knocking on the door.
"Come on Erin, Its time to go!"
Erin exited the room and gave Brian a poisonous glare. She pulled on some shoes and stuck Keturah's letter in her pocket. As she followed Brian out of the bus she tried to think of ways she could ditch him before the concert. She realized that because of these new rules she would be forced to attend the concert. Ugh. Seeing her brother sing was not what she had had in mind for the evening.
Brian took her to the costume room where Stacie was working.
"I've told Stacie about the rules. Don't try to slip away from her. It won't work. And I'll find out about it." Erin gave an almost imperceptible nod of her head and stepped into the room. Stacie was in a corner hunched over a piece of sewing. She raised her head when Erin walked into the room.
"Judging from the scowl on you face, I'd say you heard the bad news."
"That I'm grounded, yeah I heard." Erin gave a bitter chuckle, "I heard all about it."
"You're not really grounded, you can go anywhere you want you know. At least you're not confined to the bus. You can go anywhere you want as long as someone is with you."
"I know," Erin sank down beside Stacie, "It's just that I'm with people all day on the bus and I enjoy being away from it all sometimes. It was nice to have some quiet time." She paused. "And to be away from Brian," she added under her breath.
"I know what you mean," Stacie nodded, "Its good to be by yourself every now and again." She stood up and hung the shirt she had been stitching on a rack.
"What's that?" Erin asked.
"Oh, this is Nick's shirt. He keeps ripping out the sleeves. I don't know how the boy does it." Stacie shook her head in exasperation. "That's all I have to do for today. Do you want to watch the guys rehearse?"
"Um, if you want to I guess," Erin said half-heartily.
"Lets go!" Stacie jumped up, "I love seeing them perform. The dance moves for "Its gotta be you" are really cool, don't you think?"
"Actually, I've never seen them perform." Erin followed Stacie out the door.
"What!" Stacie whirled around. "Why?"
Erin shrugged, "Never really felt like it I guess."
"Gee, I knew you didn't like Brian, but still…" Stacie shook her head and continued down the hall. "They're really pretty good performers, they sing, they dance, they joke around with each other and the fans. They're just fun to watch. I went to every concert at the beginning or the tour, but now I just go to one a week."
"You really like them don't you?" Erin remarked.
"Actually I didn't used too. When I got this job on their tour, I was fine with it, but I viewed it as a way to get onto bigger and better things. I didn't think I'd enjoy it so much. After a few days though I started having a blast." Stacie pushed open the door to the auditorium and led Erin to a back row of seats.
Erin sat down and turned her eyes to the stage. The guys were performing a slow song. She closed her eyes and listened. Their voices did blend well, she had to admit. They actually sounded pretty good. Erin continued to listen for a while, but soon got caught up in conversation with Stacie.
"Do you know if we're staying in a hotel tonight?" Erin asked, "I'm getting a little tired of sleeping on the road."
"Actually we're staying at this venue tonight," Stacie answered her, "The guys are doing an interview tomorrow morning with a radio station. Management decided it would be cheaper and easier to sleep on the buses at the venue."
"But won't the fans try to get in?" Erin furrowed her eyebrows.
"They have this whole routine worked out." Stacie giggled, "Its actually pretty funny. Our busses are leaving and then coming back to the venue. The fans will all see the guy's bus leave and after a while they'll leave. We'll go out and get something to eat or just drive around on the highway for awhile and then come back later."
"I still don't get why we're not just staying at hotels," Erin frowned, "Sounds like it would be a whole lot easier."
"It would be," Stacie lowered her voice, "But none of the hotels will take us. See last time the guy's were here the hotel they were staying at got mobbed. None of the hotels wanted to take that chance again. I wasn't working on their last tour so I wasn't here, but Amy, she's the girl that does hair and makeup, was telling me all about it. I guess it got pretty bad."
"Man," Erin shook her head, "My old friends in New York wouldn't believe for a second what's happening to me."
"Yeah, its got to be pretty weird getting used to all this. I kind of knew what I was getting into, because I used to work on some other small tours. But it was nothing like this!"
Erin nodded.
"Did you say you used to live in New York?" Stacie smiled, "That's where I'm from! Where did you live there."
Erin's mouth fell open. What had she done! Stacie might tell Brian. How could she have been so stupid and careless?
"Oh my heavens! Stacie, don't breathe a word of that to anybody!"
"What? That you lived in New York. Why not?"
"I just don't want anyone to know! That's all."
"But why not? I mean Brian knows doesn't he?"
"Umm"
"Wait a minute," Stacie pointed at Erin, "Are you telling me your brother doesn't know where you're from."
" I don't want him to know!"
"Why not? He's your older brother for heaven's sakes. He has a right to know where you lived."
"No, he doesn't! Nobody does! I didn't want to come here; I was practically dragged by a policeman and a social worker. I don't want anything to do with my brother and his stupid boyband, but I especially don't want him to know anything with me!"
Stacie shook her head; "You really hate him don't you."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I just told you."
"Okay."
"What?"
"You heard me, I said okay." Stacie shrugged.
"Wait a minute, you mean you really don't care if I hate my brother?" Erin stared at Stacie.
"I wouldn't say that," the sides of Stacie's mouth turned up a bit. "I'm not going to change your mind about your brother. You're going to have to do that all by yourself. Why should I argue with you about it."
"Thanks," Erin gave Stacie a small smile. "I everybody would see it that way," she muttered under her breath.
Stacie chuckled and soon both of them were laughing. They didn't notice that the United State's favorite pop act had left the stage. And they certainly didn't notice the youngest member of that act shaking his head and hurrying away from where he had been listening to their conversation.
