“It’s a surprise.”
“I think I’ve been surprised enough tonight!” I giggled. “I mean.. the roses, this lovely necklace, being Prom Queen... and now.. now what? What are you up to!” I asked jokingly.
“You’ll have to wait and find out.”
“Oh, c’mon!”
“Okay, okay.. close your eyes.” I did. Nick put his hands over top of my eyes to make sure I couldn’t see a thing. I knew my way around here-eyes closed or not. But I decided not to tell him that, and just let him lead me to wherever he pleased. If I wasn’t mistaken, he was now taking me around the lake.
'I wonder where he’s going...' “Are we there yet?” I asked anxiestly.
“Almost.”
“Ugh. Let me take a peek or something!”
“Nope. Not yet... Ok... Now. Open.”
I looked around. No way! In front of me stood our old family boat. It was all shiny and fixed up.
“Man! I haven’t been on this thing in ages! It’s too bad we don’t have the keys! It would be so cool to ride this thing again!”
“Oh, contrair my lady! I’ve got the keys right here.”
I looked at the keys that were dangling from Nick’s hand.
“How in the world..”
“Your dad.”
“What!”
“Yep.”
“Why’d he-”
“I don’t know. When you and your mom left earlier, he took me here. We fished and believe it or not we bonded. And he thought it would be a nice little idea for us to take a ride in it, I guess.”
“Oh my goodness! Wow. Nick he must really like you! There’s no way he’d have ever done that to any of the others I was once with!”
“He already told me that!” He said snickering, “So what do you say... you wanna go for a little ride?”
“Definitely!”
I took my heels off, and handed them to Nick. He just looked at me strangely with a ‘What the heck are you doing?’ look. I grabbed the keys, and ran up the dock. “Hey! Wait for me!”
Nick chased me up the dock and onto the boat. Once he finally caught up with me, he threw my shoes down and ran over and started tickling me as he did at the hotel a couple days ago. I had never laughed so hard and for so long!
He stopped after awhile. As he did, I started to get up. Just incase he tried to pull that again. He grabbed me and pulled me in his lap.
“No, Nick! Don’t.”
“I won’t. I promise.” He leaned his head on my shoulder and threw his arms around me. I leaned into his chest, and we just sat there.
“This is nice,” I said quietly.
“Yes it is.” agreed Nick, “But I know what’s even nicer..”
“Really... and what might that be?” I asked, playing dumb.
“This.” He lifted my head from his chest, and we kissed.
“Mmm.. I think I’ll have to agree with you on that one.” We leaned in for another short, but sweet kiss. “Nick! Look at the sunset. Isn’t it beautiful!”
“Sure, but you’re even more beautiful.”
“Nick, I’m serious.”
“So am I.” He kissed the back of my neck. 'Can’t he stop talking about me for just a minute! Not that I’m not enjoying it..
I leaned back into his chest once again, and watched the sun go down.
I realized after a few seconds that the boat was still in the same spot it was earlier- we hadn’t even put the keys in. Oh well. Nick and I didn’t have to go anywhere to have fun- as long as we had each other, we’d be fine.
I woke up the next morning totally refreshed. The air was nice and sweet smelling. I looked behind me to see if Nick was awake yet or not. He was. And was already looking at me when I turned around.
“How long have you been awake?” I asked.
“Long enough.”
“So...? Have you just been watching the sunrise this whole time or what?”
“No, actually I’ve been watching you sleep.”
“Why?”
“I’ve got my reasons.”
“And your not going to tell me what they are either, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Nick, you’re just something else.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’ve got my reasons.”
I couldn’t help it; I just started cracking up.
“Oh Nick, that is totally you!” Nick was trying on all these crazy hats! None of them looked good, but he insisted on us getting matching ones. He decided to get the first ones we tried on. “I refuse to wear these out in public!”
“C’mon! It’ll be fun!”
“Yeah right!” He gave me a puppy face that I had used on him many times. “Maybe later.. Maybe!”
“Cool,” he said half - satisfied. We went around surfing through all the shops in the outlet mall we were at. The rest of the Backstreet gang said they’d catch up with us later for lunch.
I had to stop in the restroom real quick, so Nick just waited outside of one of the shops for me. I stopped on my way out for a double check in the mirror. As I came out, I heard Nick’s voice. He was talking to someone. I figured it was Brian or one of the other fellas. But to my surprise there was a girl standing in front of him.
She looked strangely familiar- but I wasn’t sure where I had seen her before. Before I could gather up my thoughts, she gave Nick a big juicy kiss on the lips.
“Mandah..” I gasped, then looked at him in disbelief. No! Don’t let this be happening! Nick turned and looked at me. “Oh, no.” Not knowing what else to do, I turned and ran in the opposite direction. “Mandy, no! Please wait!”
There was no way she was going to stop running. I had to catch up with her.
I looked back at Mandah and shouted, “What were you thinking?!? We’re over with! Done! I can’t believe you just did that!”
“What? Why are you so upset?!?”
“You just kissed me in front of my girlfriend! And if I lose her because of you.. there’s absolutely NO way I can forgive you!”
“Where are you going?” She asked chasing after me.
“I’m getting Mandy back!”
“No, Nick wait! I need to talk to you! I want to get back together!”
I stopped in my tracks. "You want to get back together?!”
“Yes Nick, I do.”
“Mandah we’re over with!”
“It doesn’t have to be that way. Remember what we had..?”
“Yes it does have to be that way! And yes I do remember. We had nothing. And whatever we may have had disappeared when you clearly stated we were over with. So I’m now reminding you Mandah, it’s over. We’re over. There’s no going back. Only forward. Which is what I was doing, until you came and set this horrible scene into Mandy’s head. Now she has the wrong idea completely. And I need to find her, before anything else goes wrong!”
“What else could possibly go wrong?! My day is ruined!”
“Yeah- and thanks to you Mandah.. so is mine.”
I know what I may had said to Mandah may have been somewhat harsh, but I was in desperate need of telling her what was going on before I lost Mandy completely. And I did not have the time to sit down with her and explain to her that our relationship is old news. And the only way to make someone like her understand that is to tell it like it is. Which is what I did.
I have never ran so fast in my whole life. I literally ran like the wind. I quickly shot a look behind me. Nick was catching up. All he kept doing was shouting my name and saying he’d explain everything. The last thing I wanted to do was to listen to words fly out of his mouth.. especially after his ex- girlfriend had been smooching all over them!
“Mandy PLEASE! Wait! Hear me out!” I blocked out everything he said and hopped into my car. I grabbed my keys and started the engine. Then I pulled out of the parking spot I was in, and took off. I looked in the rear-view mirror. He was now chasing my car. After a second or two, he gave up and jumped into a taxi. The taxi followed me wherever I went.
I decided I’d just go home. Once I reached the doorstep, the taxi pulled in the drive way.
'Crap! Hurry up, Mandy!'
I stuck the key in the door and ran in. I locked every door in the house I could think of. I started to relax thinking he couldn’t get in- thenI heard the front door open.
'Shoot!! I forgot I gave him my spare key when I went to school!' I shook my head, and ran to my room.
“Mandy!” He grabbed ahold of my arm. He had a strong grip.
“Let go!” I shouted.
“Not until you hear me out!” He managed to say- totally out of breath.
“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say! I can’t believe you Nick! I thought you were different! I trusted you! And I go in the restroom for a split second and you go and kiss the first girl you see!!!”
“No! That’s not what happened!” I tried to pull away. His grip had loosened a little, but I still couldn’t go anywhere. “Mandy, you can’t just walk away from this!”
“Watch me!” I struggled, then ran to my room. I locked the door. I could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs. He was not going to leave this alone.
'I’ve gotta get out of here! Somewhere where I know he won’t look!'
I didn’t have time to think of where. Things were happening all so suddenly. I opened my window in my room, and carefully crawled down the roof. i slid down the railing, and raced to my car and took off.
By now it was raining. And not just a few sprinkles it was pouring! It was hard, thick, stubborn rain. It wasn’t going to stop; and definitely not going to let something like the sun stop it from pouring down- just like I was not going to let Nick- my sunshine - stop me from doing what had to be done. I was driving and racing down the streets. I was still very unsure of where I was going.
“C’mon! Please work!” I held a bobby pin in my hand and I tried to unlock the door. It had worked. “Yes!” I opened the door.
To my surprise, the room was empty. I thought maybe she was hiding or something. ‘Til I noticed the window was wide open, that is.
“Ugh! She’s got me on a wild goose chase!” I went and shut the window, and ran outside. Her car was gone.
The taxi was still sitting in the driveway as I had asked him to wait for me. “Did you see where she went?!?”
“Yes. She went down that street.”
“Good.”
I hopped in and the driver followed the route he thought she had taken. In no time at all, we were a few cars behind her. We followed her, hoping not to lose sight of her in all the traffic. We came up to a subdivision near Kroger’s.
'I wonder where she’s heading.'
I ended up at Crystal’s. As I ran to her front door, I prayed she was home. My prayers were answered. She opened the door. I was soaked. Not just from the rain, but also from my tears.
“Mandy! What a surprise! Come on in! Man, you are soaked!” She looked me in the eyes, and noticed I had been crying. “What’s wrong?” she asked sympathetically. I didn’t have time to answer. Brad, Josh, and Sean came over to where we were standing.
“Hey, Mandy! It’s about time you came over here! We haven’t seen you forever!”
“I know..”
Crystal brought them into the kitchen and politely asked them to leave. She said we needed to talk on a serious note.
“Ok, but we’ll be back!” said Josh, giving Crystal a kiss on the cheek. “See you soon.”
We watched Sean, Brad and Josh leave. Just as Crystal was about to shut the door, Nick came running in out of the rain.
“I need to talk to Mandy.”
“Sure. She’s right- Where’d she go? She was just right there.”
I walked to Crystal’s room, hoping Nick wouldn’t see me. Unfortunately he did. He ran in and followed me down the hall.
“Mandy we need to talk.”
Instead of slamming the door in his face, I looked him straight in the eyes. The eyes I have stared at many times. I loved his eyes.
And through them, we always seemed to understand each other. This time was different. I didn’t have a clue what he was thinking; his eyes didn’t tell me a thing. I knew mine right now was filled with hurt, and pain. And I knew it showed. I couldn’t stand being so close to him right now. Not after what he did anyways. I pulled away, and shut Crystal’s door.
I leaned against the back of it. I slowly slid down. I could feel Nick doing the same thing on the other side. I was overwhelmed with emotions and I just wanted to be alone.
I looked up at Mandy’s friend. She was standing there with a strange look on her face. She had to be so confused. I stood up and walked over to her.
“Crystal. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in like that. Please take care of Mandy right now. She needs someone to talk to. And I know she doesn’t want that someone to be me.. Will you do me a favor though?”
“Sure. What exactly is it you want me to do?”
“Just tell her I love her. I always will. And.. I didn’t mean to hurt her. And I’m sorry.”
“Umm.. ok.”
“Thanks.”
I turned and left. I decided to give her time. She needed it, and so did I. I needed to think things through, and look at it in her perspective. Not only did I need to think, but I too needed to talk to someone. And that someone needed to be my best bud, Brian.
“Mandy.. what’s wrong? What the heck happened between you and Nick? I thought everything was going great between you two!”
“So did I.”
“Please talk about it. Please, Mandy. You’re going through so much pain right now, and I want to be able to help.”
I studied Crystal for a moment and could see she was sincere. She leaned over and gave me a hug. I needed one and it helped. I tried drying my eyes, but there was no use. The tears came one after another.
“Gosh, Crystal. It’s horrible.”
“What is?” I told her about the scene I saw after coming out of the bathroom. She gasped. “Oh, Mandy. I’m so sorry!”
We talked things out and she assured me there had to be an explanation.
“Nick insisted there was but what is there to explain? He shared a long kiss with another girl! And not just anyone, his ex!”
“Maybe you should just hear him out.”
“I know we need to talk, but I just can’t bring myself to even look him straight in the eyes! I feel so betrayed! I don’t feel like I can trust him anymore... I don’t know. This whole thing’s a big mess. I don’t know what to do.”
“Give him a call,” She suggested handing me the phone. I decided not to.
“I can’t. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. So..” I said hoping to change the subject.
“What’s going on with you and Josh? You two hooking back up?”
Crystal looked at me as if asking, ‘Is it ok for me to talk about it right now?’
I nodded. She filled me in on the latest info. “Yeah. We’re like you and Nick. I.. I mean.. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok.”
“Mandy, are you sure you’re alright?”
“No. But I’ll have to be.”
“You don’t have to be or do anything Mandy.”
“I know. Umm, Crys? Could I use your phone?”
“Sure, I’ll leave you alone.”
She walked out and went into the living room and watched tv. I reached into my pocket, and pulled out the Leighanne’s number. I told Brian things would work out for them; and just because me and Nick were having problems I wasn’t going to let that affect my promise to Brian. After all, we had made a pact.
Friends Forever.
I took a deep breath and dialed the number on the piece of paper.
“Hello?”
“Hi. Is this Leighanne?”
“Yes it is.”
I introduced myself and told her how me and Nick met, and how Brian and I had become great friends. I was surprised by how easy it was to talk to her, even though she was a total stranger to me. I explained how Brian has been feeling lately, and how much he cares for her...and how much he wants her back.
All she seemed able to say was, “I had no idea.”
We talked for a few more minutes and she agreed to call him up. I gave her the number to the hotel they were now staying at and we got off the phone. I was so tired from all the running around I had done today; so I made myself comfortable on Crystal’s bed. I closed my eyes.
All kinds of memories of Nick and I together rushed through my mind. The pool experience was the first to pop in my head it was going to be the last. 'I can’t handle this.' I confessed to myself. 'It’s just too much.'
I got on the phone again and told my mom I wouldn’t be home tonight. Instead I was going to be over at Crystal’s. I gave her a brief reason why and hung up.
When I woke up early the next morning, it was 6:00 am. I hadn’t got much sleep at all. I went into the living room and saw Crys asleep on the sofa. The television set was still on. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat down.
She had had it on VH1. They were having the countdown.
Mandy Moore’s video for “I Wanna Be With You” came on.
“I Wanna Be With You.” I repeated the words over and over. It was the truth. I wanted to be with Nick. But I was too hurt.. and too scared. Scared to let him in again. Scared to trust and love him like I did- Like I do.
I’m still afraid to admit how I feel for him. I’ve been hurt too many times. And the hurt was going to stop. Stop right now. I’ve had enough.
“Take a look at this week’s topmover, and the number one video.” The screen went black and then BSB’s “The One” came on.
“How convenient.” Replied Crystal startling me.
“I thought you were still asleep! You scared me there for a sec!”
“Oh, well sorry about that. By the way.. seeing that come on made me remember something.”
“What?”
“I was asked to leave you a message from Nick.”
“You know what- I don’t even want to hear it.”
“Mandy.. he said he’s sorry, and that he didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“But he did.”
Crystal continued, “He also said he loves you, and he always will. And I believe him Mandy. I know he would never hurt you intentionally. And I also know you still love him.. and you always will- whether you’ll admit it or not.”
I just stared at the floor. Everything Crystal had said was true; and I knew it. Not sure what to say, I continued looking at the floor.
“Mandy... I know you’re hurting. But you two need to work this out, and soon.”
“I know, I know. But I can’t even look him in the eyes without it hurting. I need some time.”
“I don’t blame you. But you need to make him aware of what you’re feeling, and how badly you’re hurting.” So much for my plan.
“You know what?” I asked Crystal. “I think I’m going to check my answering machine and see if I got any messages. Mind if I use your phone?”
“No.”
I saw Crystal roll her eyes as she knowing I kept changing the subject. I went into Crys’s room and dialed our number.
“You have 6 new messages.”
Wow! I wonder who all called.
“Mandy.. we miss you! It’s no fun without you here! And Nick is miserable. We want you two to work this out! And when you do.. girl you better get up here so we can do some more of that shopping! Well, talking to your machine is not much fun either! I guess I’ll let you go. C-ya.” That’s AJ for ya!
“Hey, Mandy. This is Howie D. I just wanted to say that, you and Nicky really need to talk. You need to hear what he has to say..”
“Mandy.. pick up! Okay, well.. you have GOT to do something about Nick! All he does is walk around moping- he’s driving me nuts! And hey- we miss having you up here! Come see us. Love you, Kevin.”
“Friends Forever, right? Well, friends need to talk! And tell each other how they feel- without holding anything back. Mandy, Nick misses you terribly. And so do we! It’s so much different without you here. We want you back! Oh, and thank you. You totally got Leighanne and I back on track. You are such a sweetheart, and a true friend. Now it’s my turn. Let me help work things out between you two. That’s what friends are for right? Meet me at your place at 10:30, ok? Trust me on this one. Bye.”
The fifth message was blank. Whoever it was was still on the phone. Every now and then I could hear them taking in a deep breath. It’s like they didn’t know what to say.
Then the 6th messagecame. There was a brief pause. Then I heard Nick’s voice. Oh God.
“Mandy we need to talk. And I know you’re upset and you don’t want anything to do with me, but..”
You’re so wrong, Nick. I want everything to do with you.. but it’s just so hard.
“Please. I miss you. I miss holding and kissing, and just being with you. Your smile just lights up my day.. and I miss that. Please. I’ll do anything. Please don’t shut me out... You probably aren’t even listening to this message now that you heard my voice, so my talking isn’t doing any good. But if by chance you are.. Mandy, I love you. And I miss you. Please come over to the hotel. We can work this out, I know we can... I love you, Bye..”
Click. Oh Nick!
Part of me just wanted to run over there right now and hold him and cuddle. Then the other half just wins over and makes me not ever want to see him again. I looked at my watch. It was now 6:30. Brian wanted to meet at 10:30. I decided I’d meet him afterall; I was going to show up. Nothing was going to be held back. I was going to tell him Everything!
