Going Back

I was tired of smiling.

I had been smiling constantly for seven hours already.

As usual for a Saturday we were much too busy to
think.

I prepared the coffee and while it was pouring
I turned to the next customer.

"Hello. May I help you..." the words died on my lips
when I saw the all too familiar brown eyes underneath
light sunglasses. I stood there, unable to even move.
I never thought that I would see him again.
I wasn't sure if he was shocked or
what because he just stood there.

"Heather." he finally said.

"AJ. What are you doing here?" I was stunned.
What was I supposed to say to him?

"We're in town. Didn't you know?" he asked.
I shook my head.

It had been a while since I had last looked to see
who was coming.

"I thought I'd go shopping. Then I wanted coffee."

"Oh." was all I could say.

"We need to talk." AJ stated. I hurriedly turned
around to finish making the latte so I wouldn't have to
look at him.

"I don't have anything to say to you."

"Heather, look at me." he ordered. I glanced over at
my boss who was glaring at me, then looked in
his direction, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Go away." I hissed. "You're going to get me in
trouble."

"No." he replied stubbornly.
"Not until you agree to talk to me."

"Okay, fine. I get off at five. Meet me here." I told him
irritatedly, brushing past him to take the latte to
a customer.

After he was gone I had to force myself not to cry.
It had been four years. Four lonely years. After
breaking up with him I had kept track of him for a
while, but eventually I couldn't handle it anymore.
I couldn't stand to read about him and some model.
It hurt too badly. Funny though, that's what
I had wanted for him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AJ showed up right at five. I took off my apron and
joined him. We didn't say anything until we
were out of the mall.

I looked up at the face that had haunted my dreams
every night and filled my thoughts every day
for four years.

"So, um, what did you want to talk about?" I asked.
As if I didn't know.

AJ gave me a look. "I think you know." he said quietly.

I sighed. "Yeah."

"Why did you say what you did?" AJ asked.

"I don't even remember what I wrote." I lied.
I remembered every single word that I had written.

"Well, let me refresh your memory." He pulled
out a folded piece of paper and handed it to me.

"You carry it around with you?" I questioned,
trying to stall reading it.

He shrugged. "Sometimes."

I opened it with trembling hands
and read what I already knew so well:

AJ,
Before I begin let me first say that I am sorry.
I never meant to hurt you, but this isn't going to
work. Please don't be angry with me. I've met
someone else. You would like him I'm sure.
He's a lot like you in a lot of ways. I know you
may not want to, but please, remember
me once in a while. That's all I ask of you.
All my love,
Heather

I almost began crying, remembering how hard it had
been writing that letter. Then I quickly blinked back
the tears, hoping that AJ hadn't seen
them. I snuck a look at him and met his eyes.

"Why did you write the letter Heather?" AJ asked
quietly, steel in his tone.

I wasn't sure I could answer him. "I...I told you. I met
someone else." I faltered.

"We both know that's not true." he told me. "Now why?"

"I...oh geez." I broke down in tears.

AJ just stared at me without emotion. "I was scared
AJ. I knew long distance relationships didn't work.
It was only a matter of time before you met someone
else. A fan, a model, what did it matter? She would
be there to give you what I couldn't. So I decided to
let you go so you could live your life
and not have to worry about me."

AJ stared at me. "Don't you think that
I should make that decision for myself?"

I sighed miserably. "I didn't think that you would."

"You're right. I wouldn't. I didn't want anyone else.
I wanted you. Dammit Heather!
I loved you! We could have made it work!"

"You...loved me?" I asked in a small voice.

"Yeah...didn't I ever tell you?"

A shocked expression came over his face as I shook
my head. "I'm sorry! I...yes I loved you." He sighed
and ran his fingers through his hair and
mumbled something I didn't quite understand.

"What?" I questioned.

"I still love you." he muttered. "You love me?"

I asked, trying to contain my excitement.
"Yeah." he replied, still not meeting my eyes.

"AJ, look at me." I commanded softly, touching his face
so he was looking at me.

When his eyes met mine his expression became hopeful.
"I've always loved you AJ. These past four years have
been hell. Ididn't go one day without thinking of you."

"I...you do?" He smiled a little.
I nodded, tears welling in my eyes again.

"Yeah."

"Shh. Don't cry." he said, pulling me to him and
stroking my hair soothingly. "We can make things
work this time. Do you want to try it again?"

"No." I negated.

"Wh...what?" I pulled away from him,
laughing at his shocked expression.

"Not until you kiss me."

He smiled in relief. "Oh I see how you are." AJ
accused, leaning closer and pressing his lips
firmly to mine.

THE END!!!