Evan Bernard , a New York director whose reel includes video clips for the likes of the Beastie Boys and the John Spencer Blues Explosion, interviews Mike D down a long distance line from Australia. Evan was visiting Australia for the first time while filming the new Noise Addict video for their single "Sixteen" (out on Mike D's Grand Royal label in the States). Evan will be back in Australia for Summersault, as it is his divine task to film the on the road action and make some kind of movie out of it all.

Evan: So what did you want to start off talking about?
Mike: About fucking wack Australian technology!
Evan: I know. It's old school here, man.
Mike: I heard that your camera was made out of stone and wood?
Evan: Stone and wood? We were lucky to have stone and wood. We got paper, and wet paper at that. No, so what's going on?
Mike: The camera was made out of toilet paper?!
Evan: Come on! The kids don't want to hear about the Noise Addict video...
Mike: OK. We won't pimp the Noise Addict.
Evan: Yeah, it's all about the kids.
Mike: So, are we supposed to talk about Summersault?
Evan: Yeah, it's for the Summersault magazine.
Mike: So, what are we supposed to talk about Evan?
Evan: don't know, so how does it feel to be coming out to Australia?
Mike: I'm really looking forward to it because the vegetarian food is fine and so is the surf.
Evan: Yeah, there's definitely a lot more vegetarians out here than in the States.
Mike: And there's a lot more space too.
Evan: Yeah, I think it's because they got hooked on those Chernobyl vegetables
Mike: What?!!
Evan: Remember Chernobyl?
Mike: You're radioactive over there?
Evan: I guess we're on the other side of the world.
Mike: Let me just tell you, to give you an update, I saw your man Pookey today.
Evan: Oh yeah?
Mike: I think that's an important thing for the interview.
Evan: I don't think the average 16-year-old Australian kid is really going to know or care about Pookey's movements but, you know, that's cool you gave him a shout out though. So anyway, on the Beastie Boys front, what have you been doing in the studio?
Mike: We've been doing the crazy, futuristic, bossonova, smoothed out on the hard core type tip...
Evan: So basically you guys haven't done anything.
Mike: No man! We didn't get anything done last night, but all the nights before that we got a lot of shit done.
Evan: Oh yeah?
Mike: We did a gang of songs with Mark. We got all kinds of shit you haven't even heard!
Evan: Oh really?
Mike: We got a whole like, crazy Dick Hyman phase that you don't even know about. Because you just heard all the hardcore shit.
Evan: I guess the EP's going to be out by the time this happens?
Mike: The hardcore EP is going to come out down there. But I think we might also put 'Light My Fire' on it or something.
Evan: Tell the party people about that.
Mike: We got this girl Miho from the group Cibo Matto on our album and she's all that and the group Cibo Matto is all that.
Evan: Is your version of 'Light My Fire' more towards Jim Morrison or more towards...
Mike: We're like a cross between Jose Feliciano and like, the Young Hope Version. Ours is more smoothed out... on the Japanese hardcore tip.
Evan: What, the hardcore is?
Mike: No, our version.
Evan: Oh right, the 'Light My Fire' version.
Mike: I don't know, like right now it's called "Aglio e olio?" but I think we're gonna change it.
Evan: Agilo e olio?
Mike: Agilo e olio. You know, like when you go to the restaurant and you order Spaghetti Aglio e olio and it's like, with garlic and oil.
Evan: Middle Eastern food?
Mike: No, Italian man!
Evan: I'm not into that high brow... I'm like, you know, rice and beans, $2.50. You know, when I get there -
Mike: - It's just spaghetti! It's like, the most common dish in Italy! It's just spaghetti with garlic and olive oil.
Evan: Well, save me a seat and then...
Mike: Low budge! You could make that meal for yourself at home for probably like, a whopping 98 cents!
Evan: Yeah, but back home we call it spaghetti with meat sauce. You know what I'm saying?
Mike: Whatever! Anyway, that's what it's called now but I think we might change it. What do you think?
Evan: Yeah, I don't think "Aglio e Olio"! I think you got to keep it real!
Mike: But just to let the kids know, it's eight songs but only ten minutes. It's important to let the people know...Oh wait, I think that's Russell on the phone..
Evan: So are you guys looking forward to the Summersault tour?
Mike: Hopefully it will be like a vacation with a lot of people that we know. That was the original idea of the concept or whatever.
Evan: It seems like all the bands in it know each other and are good friends, or not good friends but like...
Mike: We might not be good friends when we start Evan, but by time we finish it, we're going to be bosom buddies - all of us!
Evan: How do you think it's gonna be different than Lollapalooza?
Mike: Well, Lollapalooza you could attest to. Everyone had their different cliques, right? And nobody would let Billy Corgan in any of their cliques! No, but in the real, Lollapalooza was a bigger commercial thing anyway. Lollapalooza was like all these bands playing together but it wasn't so much because they wanted to be playing together. It was more just like opportunity and money and all that type of shit. Where this is not about money - it's just about hanging out and having a good time and playing with some bands that would be fun to play with. But you know, I don't even want to go into Lollapalooza. You had the juice clique, the drinking clique, you had the drug clique...
Evan: Which one were you down with?
Mike: Man, I was down with the fucking enema clique!
Evan: Yo, I was right there behind you, literally!
Mike: You can't put that! You can't put that!!!
Evan: So are you guys gonna bring up the basketball net for Summersault?
Mike: That's on you, kid.
Evan: Nobody plays ball down here!
Mike: They have courts down there.
Evan: I know but I played like the most bummy bullshit game of basketball - oh, I told you about it, with the kid with palsy -
Mike: And he stuck your shot! Everyone was talking about that shot!
Evan: it was literally fucked-up! There were a couple of guys that had games. I thought I was just gonna go there and just you know, rocket because I'm from the States and I'm a Celtics fan but there were definitely a couple of Aussies who knew what was going on.
Mike: You got humbled, basically?
Evan: No, I didn't get humbled. I held my own.
Mike: Aussies, can represent, they're fucking tall, yo.
Evan: Yeah, but there's no basketball courts anywhere.
Mike: I've even seen Stephen Pav attempt to represent. He needs to work on his dribbling skills and get away from that Australian rules football style that he likes to rock in there but, you know, he has some promise. He could develop some skills.
Evan: Uh huh. He'll be my summer project.
Mike: Yeah, I'm telling you, you work with that kid, you develop him! Go to some playground, school some people and take their money and shit.
Evan: Future ABA all-star!
Mike: Yup.
Evan: Where are you guys going after Summersault? You're going to tour in Indonesia?
Mike: We're going to do Asia. I don't know, we're going to do Indonesia next year actually because there's this whole bullshit that went down with corporate sponsorship and we weren't really cool with that.
Evan: Oh, wow. What was that all about?
Mike: I don't know, they were saying to play there we'd have to have the big cigarette company sponsor the whole shit and we said we're not having it!
Evan: That's pretty noble.
Mike: I don't know what's going on with that. I shouldn't say for sure because who knows what the fuck will happen.
Evan: Next thing you know, you'll be the Marlboro man of Indonesia!
Mike: Yeah, the Marlboro man of Indonesia.So we're going to Manilla, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Tokyo...
Evan: Get me some folders when you're in Manilla!
Mike: Yo, that's a good one Evan.
Evan: Bangkok, Japan? Are you going to Japan?
Mike: Yeah, Tokyo. And we're gonna catch some ape gear over there. Let me think of what else is up...
Evan: Is it gonna be the whole band?
Mike: Yeah, actually, for a while we were gonna do a strip down but now I guess Mark is gonna come down with us.
Evan: He's going to do some MoWax nights too.
Mike: Yeah, he's doing his own thing. It should be cool.
Evan: You guys gonna change up the show at all?
Mike: Well, we have a whole new all male gospel chorus not unlike the Tabernacle choir. They sing on a couple of numbers, so that's nice.
Evan: Are you gonna do the crazy disco light show?
Mike: Well it's going to be hot. So we're thinking of coming out in leopard print g-strings just to get the mood going, you know.
Evan: Yeah, I'm wearing a leopard print g-string right now!
Mike: We'll bring in our own personal dancers from Chippendale's with us to get the mood going..... I guess we'll do some of our new shit, I'm not sure, we're gonna have practice here at the end of the month so we'll see.
Evan: Practice your dance steps?
Mike: Yeah, we're definitely gonna have new dance steps by the time we get down there. That's guaranteed.
Evan: So how come you guys decided to record in NY?
Mike: Well because we know this kid Evan Bernard, and he runs a really good basketball camp. And we all wanted to go get schooled by him. A really good thing to do with our fall.
Evan: Yeah?
Mike: I don't know, it worked out lovely and everything though, being here in the fall, don't you think?
Evan: Yeah, it was cool!
Mike: It was nice - all of us having a good time, even Mario C. is having a good time.
Evan: He's probably getting some that's why!
Mike: Yo, I ain't going on the record about none of that!
Evan: What's up with Grand Royal magazine?
Mike: Grand Royal magazine? We got Mark Lumen, former editor of Dirt magazine aboard. Actually, dude, shit has really been coming together this week in the magazine.
Evan: Oh, really?
Mike: Because this whole thing... you know how we're doing something on Dick Hyman, right? And we're doing something on Weird Al and it turns out that Dick Hyman has played on some of Weird Al's records!
Evan: Oh, shit!
Mike: Anyway, so Russell is gonna be in LA in the end of November so we're gonna set up an interview and everything. It like, all ties together.
Evan: The three-way interview?
Mike: Well, we have bigger plans than that but I don't want to divulge those because we have a whole dope set up for Weird Al. Let me say that even you will be impressed. You should do the Donald Trump interview.
Evan: Donald Trump interview?
Mike: Yeah.
Evan: What's that all about?
Mike: Well, because you know because our theme is like excess, so Donald Trump is one of our examples.
Evan: How do you think your gonna get through to Donald Trump?
Mike: Yo man! I'll just tell him like I'll flex you know, I'll be like "Yo, I wanna buy a big fat apartment!" (laughs)
Evan: Oh, shit, you're not gonna get the giggles now are you?
Mike: I'm gonna call him up at home, like I said.. I'm just gonna call him at home and say "Yo, you think you have a big fat apartment?" (laughing his head off)
Evan: That's not even funny!
Mike: Come on, that's hilarious! Calling Donald Trump at home like, "Yo, What's up!"
Evan: You're a freak!
Mike: It's hilarious!
Evan: If the new magazine is about excess you should just put Ricky Powell on the cover!
Mike: No, I'll just put Ricky Powell's fucking labanza on the cover!
Evan: And just talk about his obsession with French fries!
Mike: No, that's messed up. Ricky is my man, I don't wanna dis him, but anyway, yeah, the magazine... I think it's gonna shape up good. If anything, it's gonna be like we're gonna have to cut back on some of the stuff going on.
Evan: Oh really? When are you expecting to put it out?
Mike: Everyone, and this goes for you Evan, everything has to be in by the end of this year.... because it's going to come out...
Evan: Like three years from now?
Mike: It'll be like, early Spring.
Evan: I want to do an article on Noise Addict versus silverchair.
Mike: What?
Evan: Noise Addict versus silverchair. Haven't you heard about the static? Oh you're not out here..you don't know what's going on.
Mike: I thought they squashed the beef?
Evan: Yeah, but you know. There's nothing like a good article to fuel it again. You know what I'm saying?
Mike: Yeah, to escalate some shit.
Evan: You hear about the silverchair guy who was doing a concert down here? He stage dived into the crowd and the kids parted and he fell on the ground and got knocked unconscious and then the kids trampled him and ripped off his pants!
Mike: Are you for real?
Evan: I swear to God - he had to be taken away in a stretcher just in his boxers!
Mike: I want to see news footage of that! That's amazing. Ben must be telling you that story.
Evan: No, no! I read it in the paper!
Mike: That's amazing. Was he like solo or something?
Evan: No, no. It was like the whole band but that one guy - the same guy who got hit in the head with a bottle! The kid's having a bad year.
Mike: He better watch out.
Evan: It was literally the best of times and the worst of times for him.
Mike: What else should we talk about? Should we talk about Pav's lowrider bicycle?
Evan: Nah, the kids will just have to witness it.
Mike: Lets talk about potential basketball games. Who do you think is going to have games out of the other bands? I think Thurston Moore is going to unexpectantly use his height to his own advantage.
Evan: I don't know - I heard his coordination - there's no denying his prowess in the rock god category but on the court Thurston Moore is more like a literary geek.
Mike: I don't know if anyone in Bikini Kill plays.
Evan: I think it's gonna be a weak side. Jim from The Amps has proven himself.
Mike: But Kim Deal, I heard she had a dynamite pre-season.
Evan: She's doing those 12 ounce curls..
Mike: ..and she's really ready to fucking shock some people out there.
Evan: Who else? The Foo Fighters? Dave Grohl - do you think he has game?
Mike: I can't see those kids balling. I'm not sure.
Evan: I doubt Pat Smear has game.
Mike: Yeah, I can't see Pat Smear playing. I think we're solo - I don't know.
Evan: What about Jawbreaker?
Mike: I don't know if they have game. We'll have to get the mess down there and show kids what time it is.
Evan: What are the other bands on the bill?
Mike: Well, that's your job not mine!
Evan: Pavement's gonna have some game. Mark Ibold.
Mike: Pavement are really good at ping-pong. Let me tell you, they'll house you at ping-pong. They're very adept ping-pong players.
Evan: I'll bet you the drunk dude that did the Sheila E. stand-up kit. I bet you he'll surprise us if he could stay off the sauce.
Mike: Well no, even if he's on the sauce, he'll probably pull off some hieroglyphics style on the court or something like that
Evan: So what's up with Adam and Adam?
Mike: Smoking crack! No, I don't know. We've just been doing our thing.
Evan: Have you been keeping it real?
Mike: I would say, yeah, keeping it real. We got the bicycle crew in effect...
Evan: What about Adam, it's his birthday today, right? How old is he, 28?
Mike: No, I think he's 29 now. The same age as me. Evan: What did you get him?
Mike: We got him that guitar a little while ago. Like me, Adam and Mario. We all went in on that.
Evan: Oh, that jazz-type guitar?
Mike: Yeah, that dope Gretsh Hollow body.
Evan: That's cool - he must have been psyched. He won't be able to smash that one though.
Mike: No. That one's a nice one. He can't break that one. I'd like to shout to my man Beck, to all Bikini Kill, to all the bands performing, to Stephen Pav and the whole Australian lowrider crew. To Tai and the Grand Royal skate crew and to my man Evan Bernard and his basketball game.
Evan: What about the kids? You've got to give a shoutout to the Australian youth!
Mike: To the youths!
Evan: There you go.