exposing the large man behind the lyrics
by shea johnson
"Yo, Mack, you gotta do something about your friend. I don't know what's going on. He looks like he's gonna have a heart attack."
So said Mike D of huge, cig smoking, six pack pack drinking Sean Callahan. He had lumbered into the studio of search of long time friend, Grand Royal editor Bob Mack, and got into an impromptu game of two on two round ball with the Beastie Boys before leaving hastily, red-faced and wheezing, seemingly in fear for his life. "After a couple of gamesa, all of a sudden he disappears, bolts down the stairsand is like, sitting in his car about to faint or something," adds Mike. "Then, he actually took off and left Bob there. Bob later informed us that 'he ran around a lot and couldn't take it anymore-he felt like he was gonna have a heart attack so he went home' he looked pretty fatal."
Used to playing a slower, more physical game, big man Sean was out of his element that fateful day. "I didn't know what I waws in store for-they're so quick. I had just come in, had like five or six beers in my y'know? The one thing I didn't really want to do was jump out on the court and start busting my balls."
Later Bob Mack referred to his friend as "The Heart Attack Man" and it stuck. He may have walked into GSon, Sean Callahan, regional distributor for a commercial refrigeration manufacturer, but he bolted out 'the heart attack man', newest immortal patron of the Beastie Boy's lyric sheets...
"Weighs in at 275
my man is lucky to be alive
smokin and drinkin too
the heart attack man is gonna be runnin over you
heart attack, heart attack man
lungs full of tar and a stomach full of spam..."
Mike says he wrote the hardcore homage, "heart attack man" in the heat of post-heart attack ballgames. But he assures us that the lyrics go way beyond heart attack man himself and become fictional when the HAM forces himself on a woman.
Yauch adds "Mike started out with the idea of writing about Heart Attack, but he just took it to another level because Heart Attack is definitely not disrespecting women and stuff."
"Heart attack is not an abusive guy," Mike replies. "We've since seen a lot of other sides to heart attack and we've forged a friendship.
Yauch offers a lasting tribute, "Once you get to know him, he's like a kitten." A six foot, 250 lb beer drinking kitten
SIZE HABITS height:6'2"
weight: varies between 240-270
waist: varies 38"-40"
shoe: a steady12D
diet plan: alcohol, cigarettes, beef and potatoes-with an occasional artichoke.
Health status: last saw a doctor over ten years ago, labeled beyond treatment.
outlook: keep partying.
Ideal sat. afternoon: buzz fishing. (row boat, tacklebox, and a 12 pack.)