REM and Beastie Boys gunned down for alternative rock political movement

TIBET - Members of alternative rock bands The Beastie Boys and REM died along with hundreds of fans last week in the mountains of Tibet, while attempting to free the country from Chinese control. The Red Army quickly crushed the musically inspired freedom movement. It is estimated that almost four hundred people died in the conflict.

The rockers and fans decided to go to Tibet after the second annual Tibetan Freedom Concert was rained out. Not willing to be stopped by rain, the bands decided to take their good intentions directly to Tibet. The Tibetan Freedom rockers talked to reporters just prior to leaving on the ill-fated mission. Beastie Boy Adam Yauch said he was optimistic about the chances for success. "Once the Chinese see firsthand how concerned rich American rock musicians are about this issue, they will surely give in and free Tibet."

Over four hundred fans signed up for the trip when they learned it would be covered by MTV News and Rolling Stone magazine. One fan said, "Every generation has its historical moments. Our parents had Woodstock, and we're going to free Tibet!" Another zealous activist said, "When I arrived at the Tibetan Freedom Concert and learned of the existence of Tibet and saw how concerned the bands were, I knew I had to be a part of it."

The fans were asked to point out Tibet on a map, but only three were able to do so.

American officials were worried about the groups actions. A government spokesman said, "Naturally we were concerned when we learned American citizens were squaring off with a large, armed communist force. But when we learned they were rock musicians, we felt we could trust their judgement."

The Tibetan Freedom rockers ran into trouble immediately upon landing in Tibet. An armored division of the Chinese Army met them at the airport.Yauch and REM lead singer Michael Stipe approached the tanks to explain their intentions. They got about half way to the tanks when the Chinese fired a warning shot.

The Freedom Rockers then decided they would win over the Chinese with their music, so the bands began to set up their equipment.REM were the first to play. When they began to play their first song a mortar shell exploded directly above the stage. Stipe died instantly, as did guitar player Peter Buck. Bassist Mike Mills was critically wounded and managed to survive, although he lost both of his arms.

After the initial shelling, the Freedom Rockers regrouped for another attempt to free Tibet. The remaining fans and musicians (except for Mills) walked arm in arm singing the REM song "Shiny Happy People" in honor of the late Michael Stipe. At this point several Chinese machine guns opened up on the singing crowd, decimating their ranks and killing all of the Beastie Boys. Those who refused to flee were run over by the tanks.

A small group of ten survivors were allowed to escape in order "to tell others the dangers of alternative rock based political movements" according to a Chinese general.The armless Mike Mills has announced that REM will go on as a band despite the tragic loss.The surviving fans are not as optimistic. One mortally wounded fan said, "At first I thought that I was being cool by being part of such a hip movement. But when the bullets started flying I realized I knew nothing about this country I was dying for."