Things that have clogged the toilet when flushed: rubber duck, 1-prong Mega-Blok, paint brush (slow flush), ball point pen (liquids flush, solids don't).
Number of times the toilets had to be completely dismantled to clear the pipes: Upstairs: 2. Basement: 1.
Number of times my son has flooded the bathroom (toilet or tap-sourced): 10
Number of times the ceiling below has required repair due to water damage: 2
Number of Hellion-related stains on household carpets (larger than a loonie): 14
Number of times food colouring was involved in stains: 1
Number of times blood was involved in stains (his own): 2
Number of times the walls had to be repainted to cover Hellion's art: 3, but we let it go for a very long time between paint-jobs so I could recover from the migraines.
Shortest length of time between paint applications, due to "restored" artwork: 3 hours, 30 minutes. I finished painting that patch of wall at around 2:00 P.M., and the artwork appeared at around 5:30 P.M., but as there were no tracks in the paint on the wall, I had to assume Hellion had let it dry the minimum 3 hours stated on the can before he put that marker to it. He got the marker from his sister's room, and he knows he's not allowed to go snooping through her room. Mommy-justice is sweeping and indiscriminate when paint fumes are involved, resulting in a clash of the siblings when Mommy decreed all markers illegal in the house, except her gardening Sharpie.
Number of cat-food clean-ups due to Hellion tampering: 17 This includes "stew" in the water dish, "helping" to feed the kitties without asking Mommy's permission, and "making it snowing" inside the kitchen.
Number of times Hellion tried to change his own poopy diaper: 1
Number of visits to Emergency so far: 2.
Number of ER visits resulting in stitches: 1. They used Crazy Glue to close the gash on his forehead when he and his sister ran around the house at full tilt with a blanket over their heads. (I had already taken away the first blanket they'd used.) His sister was in front, and saw the kitchen corner below the edge of this blanket in time to avoid it. Hellion did not. We have decided to keep the chip in the paint on the spot where he split his head open, just to remind us all of that day. Not that I'll ever forget...