moe (ID=120) (May 31, 2000 8:39:51 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
moe (ID=121) (May 31, 2000 8:42:58 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
moe (ID=122) (May 31, 2000 8:47:58 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
moe (ID=123) (May 31, 2000 8:49:42 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 8:50:18 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:50:51 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:51:39 AM)
Good morning Debbie. How are you this am? And, how was your Memorial Day weekend holiday? Did you go back to SeaWorld with your girls?
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 8:51:39 AM)
Good morning Dr J
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 8:52:35 AM)
I had a wonderful weekend. The family went to Orlando, but we went to see my twin sister and spend the day with her lounging around her pool. It was great! How was your weekend?
moe (ID=126) (May 31, 2000 8:52:43 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 8:53:05 AM)
good morning Moe! how are you today?
moe (ID=127) (May 31, 2000 8:53:35 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:53:50 AM)
Good morning Moe. How are you this am?.....well, that was a quick hello and good-bye =)
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 8:54:13 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 8:54:23 AM)
good morning Kt!
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:54:55 AM)
As for the weekend, we had a very raining, wet, "nasty weather" weekend, so, no lounging around the swimming pool, although, we started the weekend without a pool, and by the end of all the rain, we sure had enough to fill a pool ;-)
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 8:55:08 AM)
Hi This is my first time in a chat room How is everyone
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:55:10 AM)
GOod morning kt. How are you this am?
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 8:55:31 AM)
I am doing great this morning Kt....Happy you could join us this morning
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:55:36 AM)
Doing fine. You're doing well in the chat, kt. You'll get the hang of it.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 8:55:45 AM)
Thanks
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:56:32 AM)
Debbie, it sounds like you all had great weather in Orlando for the weekend? But, somewhere, I thought I heard it was cool down in Fla?
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 8:56:59 AM)
Dr J I want to let you know I am going to have to scoot out about 10:15 this morning. Sarah is receiving a medal at school this morning for conduct and I cant' miss the ceremony!
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:57:25 AM)
kt, how was your memorial day weekend? (That's what we were chatting about)?
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 8:57:48 AM)
It cooled off a bit last night. When I went outside for my break at midnight there was a bit of a nip in the air.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 8:57:52 AM)
It was very nice here.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 8:58:18 AM)
Where are you from Kt?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 8:58:22 AM)
I'm in NJ
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:58:30 AM)
Debbie, that's fine. I have to scoot a bit earlier than the 10:30 time as well, so we can end it at 10:15 for the chat. I have to prepare for a meeting at 11am and then another at 1pm......meetings, meetings, meetings!
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:58:55 AM)
kt, if you don't mind my asking, where in NJ are you?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 8:59:06 AM)
Brick
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 8:59:38 AM)
Debbie, yes, it's been quite cool here especially at night. Our temps been in the 50's overnight, and with the rain and dampness, it feels quite chilly at night.
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:00:23 AM)
kt, that's about northcentral, right? I think I've passed through there either off the turnpike or the parkway.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:00:47 AM)
Thats right
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:00:49 AM)
Moe, did you make it back in the chat?
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:01:48 AM)
BRB, have to take a quick phone call.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:02:18 AM)
ok Dr J..........Kt do you have a child with CAPD?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:03:25 AM)
Yes I have a 14 year old son. I was told about 9 months ago he has CAPD
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:04:06 AM)
i have a daughter who is soon to be 9 that was diagnosed a little over 2 years ago
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:04:29 AM)
May I ask who told you about your sont's CAPD?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:05:24 AM)
At first I was told he had ADD then a Dr I brought him to wanted him checked so he had me bring him to a audiologist
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:06:15 AM)
Did the audioloigist make any recommendations for you?
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:06:27 AM)
Back agai, sorry.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:06:42 AM)
Welcome back =)
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:07:31 AM)
The Dr gave me a bunch of papers about CAPD
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:08:42 AM)
kt, yes, but, did your son have a CAPD evaluation AND did he have any evaluation for ADD? What are the concerns you have that led you to bring him to the Dr who first told you he felt your son had ADD?
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:09:41 AM)
Moe, welcome back. How are you this am?
moe (ID=127) (May 31, 2000 9:10:12 AM)
Hi everyone . I had a question for dr. j. my son was recently diagnosed with an auditory processing problem involving intergrating information and getting information into the memory store for retentionand later recall. Is it more vital to attack the memory first , or is it the intergration problem which generally leads to there breakdown in the auditory processing ? Also in your opinion, is the Linda mood bell program of visualizing and verbalizing the best program to attack this?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:14:13 AM)
The neurologist said he had all the sym. of ADD then we went to another Dr for the ADD after speaking with him he had us go to an audiologist where he was tested for CAPD The second DR has a child with ADD and one with CAPD so he thought my son had more of the CAPD it was confirmed at the audio
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:14:37 AM)
Moe, without knowing the test results, I would think that most of the kids I see with integration problems and then with auditory retention and recall problems have the problems related to memory that affect integration. That is, if you can't hold the information in memory and then recall it as needed, you would have problems finding the pieces to fit together to integrate into the whole you need for comprehension. Actually, the two areas would go together in an integrative approach. As such, I'd work on the management strategies for familiarizing your son with information BEFORE he gets it in class so as to strengthen memory, and then work to get him to do problem solving and task analysis to work on the integration......
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:16:42 AM)
As for the V&V. The concepts behind Nancy Bell's Visualizing and Verbalizing are excellent concepts for working on integration and memory. You ask is it the BEST program? The answer is not easy often to accept, but there is NO BEST PROGRAM. The person working to individualize the work to meet your son's needs must be on track to be the best, and the V&V program provides an excellent tool for working on memory and integration. BUt, it is not the only tool, it is not the BEST. The BEST is what works and is individualized to meet your son's needs.
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:17:39 AM)
kt, what symptoms does your child present? What concerns brought you to seeking out the evaluations that led to the dx of CAPD?
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:20:26 AM)
Dr J one thing that i've noticed with more frequency lately with Sarah is that she likes to pretend she is speaking a foreign langauge and she rambles on quickly in her "language" which is really just gibberish. Is it possible that she does this because of the CAPD since she may hear things garbled?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:21:02 AM)
He seemed to look through you always with the What or huh response, always said I didnt hear you answered ? after you asked another? school grades going down
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:23:01 AM)
Debbie, it's interesting you bring that up. I've seen this type of behavior in a number of children with auditory processing problems, including my own son. I often wonder if they ARE merely imitating what rapid, complex language sounds like to them. And, often, I see this with my son as well as with another child who I have in mind, the rhythm or prosody (as we call it professionally), and some words, are REAL words and are the same prosody as in the "adult" rapid speech. YEs, I think it's a bright child imitating what she hears and processes.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:25:24 AM)
Sarah and Kendra act as if they are holding entire conversations this way! I've told Sarah she has to slow down and practice speaking properly.
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:26:10 AM)
kt, have you or anyone ever tried the following: When your son looks as though he "didn't get it" or he says "I didn't hear" ask him "What DID you hear?" What often occurs is that a child may have either the attention or the CAPD cause leading to a problem processing and because the child says, HuH, or What, or asks for us to repeat, we DO repeat. This can sometimes, and often, lead to a child not having to pay attention and not being responsible for being what I call an ACTIVE listener. All the child needs to do is realize you are talking to him and he can depend on you (and others) repeating, so, the child learns to tune out until it's time to listen rather than being an active listener all the time.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:29:58 AM)
At home we do have him give us eye contact , then we have him repeat what he heard but at school I think he just gives up the teachers are not helping he misses many assignments
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:32:22 AM)
kt, I understand. But, missing assignments can be due to a great many things. Does he seem to NOT understand what was said once you know he has heard all of the words? Or does he seem to listen better at some times more than at other times? Or does he have problems reading and understanding what he reads (insuring that he has read the material)? Or does he just say, "It's boring?" What excuses does he use for missing assignments and what are his consequences when he DOES miss assignments?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:36:46 AM)
He is very very emotional, at his age he doesn't want to be looked at as "different" even though I tell him everyone is "different" in their own way At times he understands better than others as for the missing assign. he 1 didn't know about it 2 loses it 3 does it but doesn't hand them in 4 forgets about it I have the teachers give me a weekly report any missing assignment I make him do even if he will get no credit
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:37:36 AM)
And I take away his beloved skateboard
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:39:08 AM)
kt,,,by chance do you use a planner for homework assignments in school?
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:39:33 AM)
OK, I understand what you are saying, KT. Now, what are the consequences of his not handing in his assignments (I note that 2, 3, 4 all relate to not doing them b/c he lost them, forgot then, didn't hand them in ALL having nothing to do with auditory processing!) What happens IF you son does NOT complete his assignments? What is his responsibility NOT to forget them, NOT to not hand them in, NOT to loose them?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:40:17 AM)
His grades would be very good if he didn't miss so many assig. his math and reading are very good
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:40:24 AM)
Yes, kt, Debbie's idea was what I was about to bring up next. Does your son use a planner especially one specific for Homework or classwork assignments.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:41:45 AM)
Sarah uses a planner and it's been helpful for her. The school here now passes them out to all kids in 3rd grade. If the student looses it they have to pay $5 to replace it
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:41:46 AM)
kt, then, what you seem to be describing is NOT auditory processing but a child who has problems organizing himself and has to learn how to get organized in a routine manner. AND, he has to learn that HE is responsible for getting his work done and HE has to have backup plans when he DOES NOT have an assignment.
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:42:54 AM)
kt, I have a son in High School who sounds like your son. We have found the planner works extremely well WITH SOME MODIFICATIONS. I can and would be happy to discuss the modifications. But, I'd love to know if your son has ever used the planner?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:43:08 AM)
he does have a assign. book the teachers orally give assign. I've asked them to make sure he writes everything down but they check the first week then dont
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:44:11 AM)
kt, notice what you said "I aks them to make sure he writes everything down...." I forget, if you don't mind. Could you remind me, how old is your son?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:44:33 AM)
He has become very lazy , he is 14
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:46:26 AM)
He will put down the first assign , but miss the second I'm not sure if he is trying to get the first thats why he misses the next or what
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:46:33 AM)
OK, so at 14 years of age (just 2 years younger than my son.....and we've been using the planner and some other behavior mod and responsibility issues with him since 5th grade (about 10 years of age)........so, at 14 years of age, YOU have the responsibility to ask the TEAHCERS to be responsible to be sure he has written down his homework for each class? I hope you're catching on here.
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:48:06 AM)
kt, I agree with you that for MANY kids, the writing of the assignment is too much. It WOULD benefit your son to find a "buddy" who IS able to write the assignments down and your son's responsibility is to go to that buddy or have the buddy's phone number and CALL the buddy to get the assignments IF your son can't get them down. ALso........
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:49:57 AM)
have your son write what he can and teach him how to make a NOTE when he misses something as a reminder to contact his "buddy." If the buddy system won't work, then, you may need to go to school to be sure that the teacher's will allow your son to come to them at another time to get the assignment. Again, he writes what he can, makes a note for what he knows he did not get and goes to the teacher or the buddy to get the assignment.......here's another excellent strategy....
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:53:13 AM)
Your son is to write the assignment, the books needed and other materials to complete the assignment, the date it is due (even if tomorrow) he MUST write the date due, and who he has to check with to get incomplete assignments completed (the buddy or the teacher with the teacher's name or code (you can make up the code with him to make it quicker), AND he is to write NO HOMEWORK in every class in which NO homework is given. That is, he has to make a note in the homework planner for EVERY CLASS, EVERY PERIOD, EVERY DAY......so, there are NO blanks in the book. Also, set up the book with him to reflect only ONE DAY per page and EVERY subject/period in order for that day. I hope you follow what I am saying.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 9:57:12 AM)
Is the idea behind this is to help the child learn a behaivor consisitent with homework assignments ultimately teaching the child he is repsonsible for his own homework?
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:57:15 AM)
kt, also, I want to reflect on something you said earlier. (I was just reviewing the chat). You said, "He's becoming lazy!" I want you to consider the following in rephrasing that feeling. And I want you to see how you can tell your son this, too. First, if he doesn't get it, we give him a second opportunity (we repeat ourselves). If he doesn't hand in the work, do the teacher's allow him to hand it in late? Think about that! If he forgets his assignment, what is the consequence/ DO we say, "Be sure to tell the teacher you forgot it?" Or do we say, "Ok, who can you call to get the assignment?" Or do We go out and get the assignment for him, or speak with the teachers for him...........
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 9:58:20 AM)
At this point he doesnt understand why he has CAPD or what it is exatly I'm just learning myself Yes we did that 2 years ago and it worked well those teachers worked with us I can't get these teachers to understand that it takes him longer to understand or compute then write down what they are saying therefore he misses some of what they are saying
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 9:59:02 AM)
Debbie, yes. The idea is to develop independence, including the child realizing what he has missed and what he doesn't understand. Eventually, if we keep on top of this, as we had to do and still have to do with our son who is 16 years old, the adolescent feels more independent and starts to concentrate on what he did and did not understand, and we can get down to the processing problems and not worry about the behavior issues.
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:00:34 AM)
kt, that is why the teachers or buddy has to be available at a later time (but on the same day) so your SON can go to them and get the assignment and write it down himself because in the act of writing it down, he is reflecting on what he is writing.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:00:39 AM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:00:52 AM)
Good morning Kate. GOod to see you.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 10:01:02 AM)
good moring Kate!! How are you today/
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:01:54 AM)
Good Morning Dr. J, Debbie, kt...I'm great...how are you all?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:02:50 AM)
When he has missing things he has something taken away ie skateboard or tv whatever thenhe needs to make up that work when it is done then the teacher will let me know on the weekly report then he gets it backI want him to know that it (assignment )willbe done weather some times he doesn't get credit
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 10:02:51 AM)
I'm doing great Kate!
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:03:05 AM)
It's good to be able to join a chat again! What are we discussing?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:03:47 AM)
Debbie, How's the National Non Profit coming along?
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:04:01 AM)
kt, feedback from one parent to another, forget me as a professional. My wife and I have had many frustrating times with our son until we realized that he just has to do this for his homework and other assignments. We now have it as just a normal part of life. Our son keeps his school planner separate from his (as we call it his "black book") social planner. ANd, now that he has a job, he has a separate WORK planner. He has NOT MISSED one day of work, has not been late, and has even come early (by mistake....again, misunderstanding/mis-processing) a few times, but, better early than late or not at all. He has been working since Christmas, so, it's been, now, 5 months.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 10:04:19 AM)
Dr J has been giving ideas on how to help a teenager with CAPD get organized for school
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 10:04:41 AM)
Kate, so far so good. I'm really excited about getting the non profit off the ground!
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:05:04 AM)
Oooh....I need this info...
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 10:05:42 AM)
we are talking about uses of a planner in school to help keep organized
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:06:12 AM)
Last week I went in and asked if there was a "buddy" that we could copy the notes on a daily basis, that way he isn't missing half the notes
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 10:07:11 AM)
kt..what was the school's repsonse?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:07:27 AM)
We started getting notes from his teachers this year but it seemed to be an irregular thing and not one I could count on.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:08:11 AM)
They said they would do this but that was last week and I haven't seen anything yet
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:08:24 AM)
We thought about trying a taperecorder but sometimes adding things for him to organize just makes it worse.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:09:30 AM)
They wont let us record we asked about that
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:10:00 AM)
Dr. J have you discussed the organization part of your model before?
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:10:29 AM)
kt, that is excellent that he must get it done no matter if he gets credit or not. Now, we need to start translating that responsibility to him rather than to you and his teacher. HE needs to learn at 14 years of age to be responsible for his own behavior. For example, we have a "deal" (unwritten contract) with our son. If we find out from (yes, we get monthly teacher reports as well) his teachers that he is slacking behind in work, assignments, handing in things, etc., BEFORE the month begins, we negotiate the "penalty" (we call it penalty rather than punishment). For example, our son loves his computer and his computer games and his video games. So, we ask him to assign the penalty. FOr example, he said (for the month of May), IF he slacks off (as we call it), he will loose ALL of his computer games, videogames, and computer (itself). And, yes, we have had to "punish" him this year, and we have had HIM carry his computer, videogame stuff, etc. out of his room and down to our "guest room" where it
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:11:18 AM)
My son recently went to Dr. Ferre but she didn't talk about that one. I would definitely think it would apply.
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:13:04 AM)
kt, Note, you said, WE went in to ask for a buddy. What's wrong with having your son PICK a "buddy" in each of his classes, work out how to copy the assignments from the buddy or buddies and getting it done before he comes home, and having each buddies home phonenumber to HAVe to call the buddy if he did not get to the buddy in school. WHy are you waiting for the school to take the responsibility when your son is suffering. Get HIM to get the buddies.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:15:45 AM)
THIS is exactly where I struggle Dr. J...what can I expect/and what is too much to expect with all these issues. I know it's hard to know what to expect and when as a parent but not understanding capabilities with CAPD makes it even harder.
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:16:36 AM)
For example, I don't think that ANY of our son's teacher's know that our son has a buddy in each of his classes. And, at age 16, interestingly, most of his "study buddies" as we call them, are female. ANd, for the past two years (last year and this), our son has requested to have various of these study buddies "tutor" him for tests and such in subjects we all discussed in which he was having problems. SO, not only has the buddy system worked for assignments, but, there have been social advantages (friendships and close relationships - really close friends) and even our son telling us "I want to have xyz tutor me (he's begun to form study groups without realizing it)."
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:16:55 AM)
At this point he is embaressed to tell his schoolfriends about CAPD again he doesn't want to be different
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:18:40 AM)
Because this wasnt picked up sooner his interest in school is next to nothing he sort of went into a shell
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:20:27 AM)
Better not to answer a question than to take so long to figure out what was aksed
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:20:32 AM)
Kate, for me and according to my approach, we as parents, teachers and professionals, should expect everything from a child regardless of whether the child has CAPD or not. The only difference is how we modify how we approach our expectations. Don't think a child with an auditory processing problem will be able to do more or less than a child without an auditory processing problem. Most kids with CAPD really having CAPD are very bright, intelligent. What happens as with any child is the child with CAPD starts to realize what comes easier and the child may tend to LIKE those things. THus, as the child gets older, these likes become the hobbies, focus, and, eventually, the career goals. I know of MANY kids with CAPD who are excellent public speakers, great writers, love to read, love math, love science, etc. etc. ANd, I know many kids without CAPD who are exactly the same. CAPD is just how a child or person processes information it is NOT a limit or should not be a limit.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:21:58 AM)
My son takes his assignment book to the teacher and has the assignments initialed but I'm wondering if he's getting too old for this too. Besides he STILL comes home with missing information.
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:23:11 AM)
kt, He doesn't have to tell his friends anything more than, "Hey, Joe, would you mind if I check the assignments from Math class every day. Mr. Mathmatics always gives the homework so fast I'm not sure if I get it all. Can I check it out with you?" I think most peers, kids who your son feels comfortable with, would be happy to do so. He may even find he learns the correct or best "type" of kids to ask in each class. Our kids have a great deal of insight and teenage wisdom. Give them credit, and give them (role play, practice) the words to say it, like I just did above.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 10:23:27 AM)
I think it's very important for our kids to realize that there is nothing wrong with having CAPD. Just as one person sees differently and wears glasses, our kids process differently. Each of our kids is special and unique in their own ways!
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:24:41 AM)
Kate, review the archives of this chat. Because, I discussed a method that has worked for my son and many other kids that really insures almost 100% not missing assingments. Yes, there may still be SOME missed, but, by far, they will be few, very few.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:25:35 AM)
Dr. J, is it true that a decoding problem is "fixable"?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:28:01 AM)
thats a good idea to role play He doesn't seem to speak up for himself ,very very quiet If we help with wording at home maybe it will get easier at school
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:28:02 AM)
Three cheers for Debbie. Yes, What we also need to do is to point out our own mistakes to our kids when they come up. For example, imagine you're at a dinner party with family, and your kids are there and someone asks if you're finnished, and you say, "Actually, our family is from Denmark." And, everyone laughs or whatever happens. It's not wrong to point out in a funny way or what ever way you want "Oh, you mean am I finished eating.....well, I missed that one!" or whatever. If our kids see we have misunderstandings too, we accept them, and live with them, and are not embarassed by them, and our kids see how we deal with OUR differences, they will just accept themselves for their own differences.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:29:09 AM)
Debbie, I agree with what you said about our kids being unique but my son TRULY doesn't understand that he hears things differently.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:30:17 AM)
kt, how old is your son?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:30:19 AM)
Kate thats what my son thinks also
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:30:27 AM)
Kate, a decoding problem is not a disorder, it is not a disease, it is not something that is broken. SO, it can't be "fixed" because it aint broke......But, yes, we can developed improved decoding abilities or skills in children with decoding deficits. And we can teach children to use other cues to help faulty decoding, and we can teach strategies when everything else fails to accomodate for decoding problems. Now, if by these you interpret what I write as being "fixed," then, yes, decoding and ALL behavior abnormalities can be "fixed."
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:31:06 AM)
Kate, can you tell which instrument in a 50 piece orchestra is out of tune?
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 10:31:40 AM)
I apologize that I am going to have to leave in just a moment...I dont want to miss sarah's award ceremony this morning
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:31:43 AM)
I wish I could!!
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:32:08 AM)
He will argue about what was said to the point that I want a perm. recorder in the house
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:32:39 AM)
Have fun at the ceremony
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:33:22 AM)
kt...a perm. recorder would be great!! Bye Debbie, enjoy the ceremony!!
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:34:50 AM)
Kate, if you've ever seen a conductor of a professional orchestra. That conductor CAN. So, how can he/she do it but you and I can't/ Easy, we can't and he/she can. SO, our kids with CAPD process what they process. How can they realize they process differently? That may never come or it may come as adults.
debbie (ID=124) (May 31, 2000 10:34:55 AM)
thanks...bye bye and you guys have a great day! Dr Moncreiff fromthe University of Floida will be in the chat tomorrow night..she is the aud who did the reeval for sarah recently
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:36:17 AM)
Kate how old is your son mine is 14
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:36:19 AM)
Yes, good bye Debbie and enjoy, be proud, and I hope Sarah is proud of her award as well.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:36:41 AM)
Dr.J, so how do we make them understand they need to do all these things we are talking about when they don't understand why?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:37:55 AM)
My son will be 13 in July and it's difficult enough just dealing with all the "stuff" that comes with that!!
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:38:12 AM)
I hear that
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:41:34 AM)
kt, does your son have difficulties socializing in "groups"?
dr.j (ID=125) (May 31, 2000 10:41:56 AM)
I'm sorry to also say That I have to leave as well. It is 10:15am my time and I have to prepare for a series of meetings I have to attend the rest of the day. I hope we can continue this discussion on how we help our children see their differences and accept their differences at the next chat in two weeks on Wednesday. Hope you all have a good day, a good two weeks. See you all on the CAPD list or at the chat in two weeks.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:43:09 AM)
at times he has a small group of friend but he can be a loner
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:43:13 AM)
Dr. J and i have been discussing this some and I'm trying to understand if there is anything I can do to help him?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:43:52 AM)
Do you think he feels lonely?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:44:29 AM)
Is your son emotional? mine gets his feelings hurt very easily
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:44:33 AM)
My son enjoys his friends but only one on one. It seems kids at this age do everything in groups.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:45:20 AM)
Yes, he gets his feelings hurt alot more than he lets on...I think thats why he has become so shy when it comes to initiating anything.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:45:26 AM)
My son seems sad at times, I look at him and I want to cry
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:46:12 AM)
one on one is what he seems to do best with
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:46:33 AM)
Do you feel this is a result of CAPD or do you think it's all personality?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:47:27 AM)
I think thats why he enjoys skateboarding, its not a team thing where he needs to hear whats going on
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:47:45 AM)
Does he feel left out when all the kids are hanging in groups? This is just starting for my son and I'm trying to find ways to help him socialize in groups better.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:48:34 AM)
Does your son understand CAPD and that he has it?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:48:37 AM)
I'm not sure I thought it was more personality but the one Dr I brought him to said thats it is common
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:49:13 AM)
No I'm still trying to understand it so how could he
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:49:27 AM)
I guess "has it" isn't the correct way to say it.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:50:47 AM)
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. We are going to TRY Fastforword this summer and I'm very nervous because of all the controversial things I'm hearing. I don't want to waste anymore time getting him some help.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:51:22 AM)
Does your son go to a large school?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:51:43 AM)
As far as the group thing, if he is with a group he tends to be in the background more
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:52:14 AM)
Thats EXACTLY what my son does in a group as well.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:53:19 AM)
His school is big, next year the high school,I'm scared!
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:53:53 AM)
I've been trying to understand if that is personality or a result of CAPD. Do you think Dr. J is saying it doesn't matter which it is?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:54:48 AM)
I can't even THINK about HS...and yet I do all the time!!! We are already struggling in middle school and I just can't imagine HS!!
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:55:17 AM)
Do you have anyone to talk to that understands?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:55:24 AM)
I think it has to be both, the CAPD would have to affect the personality.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:55:55 AM)
People try to understand but they can't
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:57:25 AM)
It's hard to talk to people when they don't understand CAPD but it is a factor and I get so frustrated when I see him struggle with this "real" thing and yet no one can understand unless they deal with it and all that comes with it!!
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:57:55 AM)
Even my mother says she understands, but then I'll hear her ask "Whats wrong with you didnt you hear me"
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:58:26 AM)
Then the look on his face
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 10:58:42 AM)
I want to scream!!
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:59:03 AM)
Don't you just die thinking of all the times that happens to him and you don't know about it?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:59:33 AM)
I think you're right...that happens enough times and it HD
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 10:59:57 AM)
oops sorry I was trying to fix a typo
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:00:24 AM)
Yes, or the times I said things like that before I found out about CAPD
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:00:25 AM)
Anyway, it happens enough times and it HAS to affect your personality
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:00:57 AM)
Yes, those are the "worst"
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:01:52 AM)
Has your son seen an audiologist?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:01:57 AM)
He is like a turtle I can tell when he shuts down,goes into his shell
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:02:29 AM)
I know that look!!
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:02:56 AM)
Does your son have language issues as well?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:04:03 AM)
Yes about 9months ago thats when we found out so on one hand he is happy at times to know that there is a reason but again Will not be different
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:05:29 AM)
He did stutter for a while but that is in the past How about your son?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:05:40 AM)
I think language affects all this too! It isn't that I don't want to accept my son the way he is or that I don't think he's special or capable of great things but this age can be brutal socially and I can't help it if I want to help him from things that DON"T have to be.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:06:21 AM)
Is your son a follower?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:06:30 AM)
My son has alot of problems with inferences. He is working with a SLP on several language issues.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:07:17 AM)
When did you find out about all this?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:07:55 AM)
Yes, he is a follower and in groups of kids...he is an observer...unless playing sports is involved. He loves to play sports...not much talking involved!!
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:09:31 AM)
I've known something was different since the third grade when he started falling apart in school!!! When i say falling apart I mean fatigue wise!! Now I know why!! I really just found out about CAPD in March when I somehow found this website!!
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:10:07 AM)
I worry about being a follower, Will he stand up vocally about not doing something when it counts, I worry alot
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:10:10 AM)
He's been through all kidns of testing since third grade but we finally had him tested for CAPD a couple of weeks ago.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:11:05 AM)
I would really like to see someone address the "social" issues on one of these chats!!
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:11:18 AM)
It was also third grade when I started to see something, didn't know what but something
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:11:36 AM)
Now that I know whats going on I'm in the what can we "do" about it mode!!
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:12:04 AM)
They say third grade is when everything turns auditory in the classroom
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:12:12 AM)
Do they have a chat for the kids? So they can express how they feel?
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:13:10 AM)
I've heard Debbie talk about one but I think it would need to be grouped by age...one for teens don't you? I'm not sure there are enough of us that know about this yet.
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:13:25 AM)
Maybe talk to someone their age thats going through the same things with school and socialy
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:14:20 AM)
yes, that would be ideal!!
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:14:22 AM)
I know I feel better just talking with you because you KNOW
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:15:02 AM)
Me too, there haven't been many moms of teens on here. Alot of parents with younger kids.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:16:37 AM)
I wish Debbie were still here and we could ask about a teen chat. I know she has been working really hard on getting help out there!! Thank goodness!! I told her I wanted to help in any way I could.
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:17:15 AM)
Have you looked into any teen support situations for your son?
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:17:27 AM)
Well I have to get going to work now, It has been so nice chatting with you! I hope to chat with you again soon. I will help also
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:17:58 AM)
I've been trying to find something. But there again the question is always why do I have to do that??
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:18:17 AM)
You too kt...keep in touch!! Have a great day!!
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:18:20 AM)
Anything for the kids!
kt (ID=128) (May 31, 2000 11:18:26 AM)
Bye
Kate (ID=129) (May 31, 2000 11:18:30 AM)
bye
jr (ID=130) (May 31, 2000 1:16:59 PM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
debbie (ID=131) (May 31, 2000 1:37:24 PM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
Dorien (ID=132) (May 31, 2000 2:12:28 PM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
amyk_03079 (ID=133) (May 31, 2000 4:42:30 PM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
iac (ID=134) (May 31, 2000 6:15:37 PM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
beth (ID=135) (May 31, 2000 6:53:01 PM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
lou (ID=136) (May 31, 2000 9:38:59 PM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
Anita (ID=137) (May 31, 2000 9:52:23 PM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
Dorene (ID=138) (May 31, 2000 10:05:19 PM)
(This user has entered CAPD: From the Heart)
