For the Love of Daniel
Daniel 11 years old, grew up down south from the age of 1 through 7. My husband and I began to see very different things going on with Dan's development. Although there were no remarkable developemental milestones, there was always something missing. I had read to Dan from the moment he was born. I did all of the educational games that were ever printed and suggested for growing babies.
Dan walked at 8 1/2 months and began to say the Dada, Mama and all of the other traditionally "normal" things children say and do. Everything was age appropriate. I even put him in a daycare because he is an only child and wanted him to get stimulated from other children and learn social developement.
It wasn't until Pre-school that there were some problems that became quite evident. They always seemed to be geared towards Daniel not following instructions. However, I never had a problem. I would give him multiple problems without much complication. However, these commands were always given in a quiet, one on one, setting without any distraction. I did notice though, that when we were in open spaces, with in a large group or too many other outside stimuli, Daniel became confused.
Throughout Kindergarten, Daniel did not produce the same kind of work that the other children were getting. And although he was very articulate, whenever there was some type of stress or extra stimuli where he could not focus, he became less articulate and would often "substitute" words for what he truly wanted.
This became a concern for me especially in the first grade. I requested he have testing done and the school officials agreed that there was nothing inherently wrong with my son and that he needed to "mature".
Having a mom who was a Special Ed teacher for over 3 decades, I discussed my concerns. She was over 1000 miles away from me and put me off to overreacting. As did the school. I proceeded to have Daniel tutored. I saw his frustration and saw him lagging behind. Daniel is brilliant and I could not understand the difficulties he was experiencing.
The tutor did not proclaim to be a professional but did mention that Daniel might have and Auditory Processing Disorder. I was devastated and brought this to the school officials and they assured me Daniel would catch up.
That year my husband and I decided to move out of state for a better educational system. We had our son tested in another state once again and they said he had some problems but that a little of remediation would suffice.
Not that I wanted ever to have a child that had learning differences because I never knew what any of this was. However, I thought that all of the tutoring he had been receiving in addition to what I was teaching, was definitely not enough.
I opted to have him privately tested by a neuro-psychologist. That is where the above diagnosis comes from. When I approached the school about this, there was a general contention that placing him in Special Education would be the best way with support services.
Four years later after working with the school and fighting for the right to a free and appropriate education, the school has finally told us they don't understand the disability and can do nothing for him. In the interim, we are doing school searches and are looking at a bleak outcome. The only alternative would be to sue for tution reimbursement to place him in a private school. And after all of these years, Daniel is in 6th grade on a 2nd grade reading level.
I am so frustrated that I am looking to advocate for new legislation regarding children with disabilities. There just isn't enough out there and these children have so much to offer. In addition, it has prompted me to return to school in order to finish a law degree and specialize in educational law. I would like enter a program come this new year.
It's funny because the story was really only the second half of my plight with Daniel that had actually brought results. The first part of the story is that when I initially had Daniel tested by the school system there diagnosis was that Daniel was have "Auditory Hallucinations" and was basically a schizophrenic. They're conclusion was based without a psychiatric eval. and the great difference between his verbal and performance scale. My husband and I were devastated.
But after the shock of all of this, I said to myself, I work in an Adolescent Diagnostic Center for children with real mental disturbances and Daniel doesn't exhibit any of these traits. After much thought, we approached the school and they put us off because they felt that they were incredibly correct in there diagnosis and the social worker said they were all trained professionals and that basically we didn't know better than they did.
If I had gone with that recommendation, my son would be a mess today. Thank God I went ahead and contacted every organization under the sun that dealt with individuals with learning disabilities and they geared us in the right direction.
My thoughts were, if we were individuals that new no better and/or had no access to a better understanding of what learning disabilities were, where would Daniel be today? My heart goes out to the children that are misdiagnosed each and every year and are put on medication needlessly.
You can go ahead and print my letter and I would be happy to share thoughts with you and anyone else that may be experiencing some of the nightmares parents go through when dealing with the public education system. We are our children's biggest advocates and if we can all group together, we can make changes so the injustices that go on will stop.
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