After a few more hours of tossing and turning Sam had decided that it was pointless of her to try to get any sleep, it just wasn't going to happen. It sounded pretty quiet throughout the bus. She decided to get up and see if there was anyone awake to keep her company. As she slid out of her bunk, careful not to make too much noise in case everyone was sleeping, she noticed JC was still in the front on the phone. He seemed to be in a very heated conversation so Sam figured it was best if she left him alone. The back of the bus was dimly light by the television. She tiptoed back there to see if there were any open eyes. She saw Chris and Dani in one corner asleep in each other's arms. Justin was also sleeping, all stretched out on the couch. She couldn't see Lance anywhere, so Sam figured he must be in his bunk sleeping. Just then she noticed Joey turn his head and look in her direction. Sam decided this was as good a time as any to try to talk to him. 'If I can't fix my problems maybe I can help him' she thought to herself. She took a deep breath as she went and sat down next to him.
"So you can't sleep either huh?" she asked.
"No, I guess not," he said flatly.
'He's not gonna make this easy' Sam thought to herself. "Okay, Joey I don't really know any other way to go about this but to just come out and say it, so here it is," she paused before continuing. "I don't claim to know you all that well, but obviously there's something wrong. I'd be glad to listen if you want to talk about it. Maybe it'll help to just say whatever it is out loud, even if I'm not the first person you'd turn too."
Joey just sat there silently.
"Listen Joey, I don't know why you won't talk to Lance or any of the other guys but I really think if you let someone in you'll feel a lot better. They're all your friends, they want to help but you have to let them."
"Oh and I suppose you're my friend too Sam?" he asked in a patronizing tone.
"Well, honestly I wouldn't exactly call us friends now, but I'd love for us to be. If you'd just give me a chance to get to know the real you and not this pissy alter ego you've been sporting lately." Sam's idea of a joke obviously hadn't gone over well with him.
"Thanks for the offer Sam, but I think things are fine the way they are. I don't need anymore people pretending to care about me," he snapped at her.
"Joey who is pretending to care about you?" Sam asked trying to keep her voice quiet so she didn't wake up everyone else.
"Just butt out. It's none of your damn business," he said as he got up and walked to his bunk.
"Oh great! Now he hates me even more," Sam sighed as she lay back on the couch.
"He does not hate you."
"Holy shit Justin! You scared the crap out of me. I thought you were sleeping."
"Nope, just lying very still. Come over here so we don't have to try and whisper across the bus," he said motioning for her to sit next to him. She sat down beside him and intertwined her legs with his as he put his arms around her.
"How come I instantly feel better in your arms?"
"Because these arms are magic baby. Don't you remember?" he asked squeezing her tighter. Sam started sobbing uncontrollably. "Okay, so that was lame but it's nothing to cry over," he said teasing.
Sam let out a small laugh; "It's not that, it's just everything. Joey, no sleep, I miss Jen, the schedule is really getting to me and I want my bed."
"And of course Lance," Justin added.
"Oh yeah and that too. Anything else you can think of?" she joked.
"No girl, I think that's enough to deal with. Any normal person would've been over the edge by now with just the Lance thing."
"Wait a minute, I didn't even tell you what happened earlier. Great, did everyone hear our conversation or something?"
"No, calm down Sami. You didn't have to tell me. I could just tell that it didn't go well," he said wiping the tears from her eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really. There's not much to say. But I do want to know what was bothering you earlier," Sam said looking up at him.
"Nothing was bothering me. I told you I was just tired," he said looking away from her gaze.
"Come on Justin, we had a deal remember? I come to you, you come to me. So far it's been pretty much one sided. You have to give me a chance to catch up."
"Sami I swear it was nothing."
"You are such a bad liar Justin."
"I'm not lying. I promise," it was tearing him up inside having to say this to her when he was doing exactly that. He didn't have a choice though. He couldn't very well tell her that she was what was on his mind, that every time she mentioned Lance he felt pains of jealousy pulsate throughout his body.
"Are you sure?" she asked again.
"Positive. Now what do you say we try to get some sleep," he said cradling her head against his chest. Sam thought about how they fell asleep the same way the night before. She lied there silently while the insanity of the past two days starting sinking in. She started crying again, but softly this time. Justin said nothing, knowing that she needed to just let it out. He stroked her hair gently until she fell asleep. As she was lying there in his arms he thought about the first time she trusted him enough to let him see her cry.
*****
Lance and Sam were just finishing up some work when they heard a knock on his door. Lance got up to answer it. He opened the door and Justin bounded in, obviously in a chipper mood.
"Hey guys, what's up?" he asked excitedly.
Lance just laughed at him. He knew Justin only got this way when he was about to go spend some money. "Not much, we were just finishing up some stuff."
"Good, because I feel the need to shop and I want y'all to come with me."
"Sorry man. I'm still trying to recover from last night. I think I'm gonna stay here and take a nap," Lance said plopping on the bed.
"Fine old man, do you mind if I steal your assistant then?"
"Nope, go right ahead. I'm done with her for now," Lance said smiling.
"Umm, excuse me here, but do I get a say in the matter?" Sami asked.
Justin and Lance looked at her, then at each other, and once again at her, "Nope," they said in unison.
Justin laughed and flashed that smile at her. "Come on Sami, its no fun spending money alone," he whined.
"Okay fine. You could definitely use some fashion tips lately anyway," she said.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means if you even think about touching anything in the mall that looks like it has been bedazzled, rhinestoned, or sequined, I'll break your fingers," Sam said grabbing her purse.
Sam heard a laugh pop out of Lance. "Oh don't worry, I'll get to your fashion faux pas later girlie man," she said to Lance as they walked out the door.
***
Sam and Justin were walking out of a store with their purchases in hand. Sam had spent way more that she should have but thanks to Lance she didn't have any debt hanging over her head anymore. She felt a need to splurge for once. She even talked Justin into letting her buy him a shirt that they both liked.
"I really shouldn't have let you buy this," he said again.
"Oh stop it, it's not a big deal. Besides now I have the right to borrow it whenever I want."
"Says who?" he teased.
"Says me," she said jumping on his back. "I want a piggy-back ride."
"Do you always get what you want?" he asked smirking at her.
"Not usually but I figure now is a good time to start." She bent her leg up and playfully kicked him in the butt. "Now go!" she shouted.
Justin laughed. "Well since you asked so nicely, how can I resist?" he said as he took off running down the walkway. Everybody was staring at them, but not because of who he was, luckily no one had spotted him yet. They all just thought they were a couple of nuts. Justin starting spinning around with her and she was laughing so hard she barely heard her cell phone ring.
"Justin put me down. I have to answer this," she said still laughing. He lowered back onto the ground. "Hello?" she said into her phone, trying not to watch Justin as he doubled over pretending to be in pain. She hit him over his head with her bag.
"Okay, okay I'll stop. I was just playing," he said flashing her that mischievous little grin of his.
Sam just smiled back. "Hello?" she said again.
"Hey sis, it's me."
"Hey Stace! How are you? How's my baby?" Sam asked happy to hear her younger sister's voice.
"Actually, that's why I was calling," Stacy started before Sam cut her off.
"What? Is there something wrong with my niece? Is Carleigh okay?" she asked panicked.
Stacy just laughed, "Calm down Sam. She's perfect. In fact we have a surprise for you." Sam could hear Stacy handing the phone to Carleigh. "Go ahead sweetie, say Hi to Aunt Sam."
In the sweetest little voice Sam ever heard, her niece starting talking. "Hi Aunt Sami miss you wuv you. Her go Mommy I done," she said handing the phone back to Stacy.
"Oh my goodness! That was the cutest thing I have ever heard," Sam said with tears welling up in her eyes. "I miss you guys so much. Give her lots of hugs and kisses for me okay? I'll see you all soon." Sam hung up the phoned and turned to Justin.
"What was that all about?" he asked.
"My niece just spoke her first sentence. To me at least," Sam said her mood instantly changing from happy to sad.
"Hey are you okay Sami?"
"No I'm not," she said sitting down on a bench and burying her face in her hands.
Justin sat down next to her and rubbed her back as she started to cry. "I know exactly how you feel," he said softly.
"You do?" she asked looking up at him with her tear-stained face.
"Yes. I have two younger brothers. I know how much it hurts missing the small things like that."
"It's so hard. I know I need to do what makes me happy and what is right for my life but sometimes it just hurts being away from them," Sam sighed. "It's just..."
"Hard," Justin finished, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Just keep replaying her sweet little voice over and over in your head and I'm sure you'll be smiling again in no time."
Sam smiled, "It really was the sweetest voice ever."
"I'm sure it was. Now, you know what else you need to feel better?"
"More shopping?"
"Nope, although that will help too," he said smiling.
"Food?"
"Nope, not that either."
"Okay, I'm stumped. What?" Sam asked laughing.
"A patented Timberlake hug," he said as he rapped his arms around her and squeezed tightly.
"You're right, I do feel better."
They stood up and he put his arm around her shoulders as they walked through the mall. "I still can't believe you and Lance both have a sister named Stacy and even spelled the same way."
Sam just shook her head slightly and chuckled. "Yeah, the world is full of strange little coincidences like that Justin."
"Are you making fun of me Sami?" he asked, tightening his grip around her shoulders.
"Now would I ever do that to you?" she said batting her brown eyes at him.
"Oh no, just all the time."
"Someone has to do it. I can't have everyone kissing your ass," Sam said winking at him. He hung his head and shook it back and forth slightly before looking up and smiling at her as they walked into the next store.
*****
That was one of the things he loved most about her. He could always count on her to tell him the truth. She never hid anything from him. If only he could be truthful with her now. But as much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn't. He knew what she needed most from him right now was friendship and nothing more. No matter how much it hurt him, he wanted to be there for her. He lay awake a little while longer until he finally closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.