Lance was sitting in his room alone after lunch. His thoughts were still focused on the conversation he and Justin had the night before. After their talk, Lance had realized that when it came down to it the only reason he kept pushing Sam away was out of fear, fear of losing her, fear of hurting her more than he already had and fear of getting hurt himself. He could no longer rationalize any of the other reasons he had used to push her away. His phone rang just as he was about to pick it up to call her.
"Hi sweetie."
"Oh, hi mom," he said, the disappointment apparent in his voice because it wasn't Sam on the other end.
"I'm sorry. Were you expecting someone else?" Diane asked partly kidding, but sensing something wasn't right with her son.
"No," he sighed heavily, lying back on the bed. "I was just hoping…"
"Hoping what honey? What's wrong?" she asked, her voice filled with motherly concern.
Lance took a deep breath as he began telling his mom what was going on between him and Samantha. "So what's your advice mom?" he asked after he finished getting her up to speed on the situation.
"Aww, honey I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad time," she paused before continuing. "I think Justin gave you some really good advice though. You can't stand back and let life pass you by because of fear. Just listen to your heart and everything else will fall into place."
"Well if I was listening to my heart, I'd be with her right now."
"Then go for it Lance. She is a wonderful girl, and it sounds like she cares for you also," Diane smiled to herself as she continued. "I told you I had a feeling about her."
"Mom! Is that why you hired her? Were you trying to get us together all along or something?" Lance asked shocked.
She laughed at her son. "No, not consciously anyway. But you've got to admit, it all worked out very well."
"I wouldn't say that just yet mom. I just hope I don't screw it up so bad that she sues me for sexual harassment or something."
"Oh hush! You and I both know she would never do anything like that. So does this mean you're going to tell her how you feel?" she asked inquisitively.
"I'm not sure. I have to go now. We have a few radio interviews to do before sound check. I'll talk to you soon," he said quickly, trying to avoid the question.
Diane knew not to push anymore. "Okay honey, have a good show."
"Bye mom. Thanks for listening. I love you."
"Anytime. I love you too."
Lance switched off his phone and tossed it on the bed. He took his hands and rubbed them over his face, then running them through his hair and resting them crossed on top of his head. He smiled as he thought of one of the many late night chats he had shared with Sam.
*****
"There is never anything decent on this time of night," Sam whined while flipping channels.
"You're making me dizzy. How can you even tell the way you're whizzing through the stations?" Lance asked, bracing one hand against the wall and the other against her back pretending to steady himself. "How did you end up with the remote anyway?"
"Because I grabbed it first. And I must control the remote, so get used to it," she said turning around and playfully tapping him on the head with it.
He rubbed his head as he spoke again. "Great that's just what we need another remote hog on the bus. You and Joey ought to have fun fighting for it."
Sam switched off the television and turned her whole body around to face him. "I'm bored," she said, an evil sneer appearing on her face as she stared at him.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Lance asked, a little afraid to hear the answer.
"Nothing. There's just something I have to do," she giggled mischievously as she leaned forward and ran her fingers through his already messed hair, tousling it even more. "Okay, I feel better now," she smiled, satisfied as she sat back down.
"Was that a fascination you had with my hair in particular or just hair in general," he quizzed her grinning widely.
"I think it was just your hair in particular, not when you had the Viagra inspired spikes going on though," Sam said erupting into laughter. "But as soon as you starting sporting this bed head look, it was just something that had to be done." As Sam was sitting there still laughing, Justin, who had been sleeping on the other couch, rolled over onto his back and began snoring extremely loud. "I always knew he wasn't perfect," she remarked mockingly.
"Ha, not at all. The stories I could tell you," he beamed as he reached down and picked up a stuffed animal a fan had thrown on stage at the show and tossed it in Justin's direction. It hit him directly in the head and succeeded in making him turn back over on his side and stop the insane noise coming out of his body. "Now back to this Viagra thing…"
"No," Sam cried. "I want examples of you guys' imperfections. Please?" she pleaded, batting her eyes and drooping her bottom lip.
"Well this one time at band camp…" Lance said, quoting the line from American Pie. Sam rolled her eyes and smacked his leg lightly indicating she wanted a serious response. "Okay, okay, but first I want some goods on you," he said sitting back and crossing his arms across his chest.
"Always the business man eh? Making deals left and right," she taunted as she slid down the couch and positioned herself on her stomach in front of him, balancing her head on her hands. "What do you want to know?" she asked smiling up at him.
"Hmm, lets start with something simple," he paused while considering his options. "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
"You call that simple?" Sam asked raising her eyebrows. Lance nodded his head waiting for her answer. "I don't really know. I'm not the type to go looking for one, ya know? I've never been in a serious relationship actually, someone that I would call my boyfriend."
"Never?" he asked surprised. Sam shook her head no, reiterating what she had just told him. "Wow, so you've never had a boyfriend. Which means you've probably never been in love and never…" he trailed off. "I'm sorry, that is none of my business. Just forget I said anything," he said disgusted with himself.
"It's okay Lance I really don't mind. Although it is a little presumptuous of you to think that just because I've never had a serious boyfriend that I've never had sex, or been in love for that matter," she said, a slim smile gracing her lips.
"So you have then?" he asked now highly curious.
"Have what, been in love or had sex?" Sam asked toying with him.
"Both, either, whatever," Lance said slightly annoyed.
She giggled before answering him. "I've never been in love. There was a guy in high school that I thought I was in love with at the time, but I realize now that it was just stupidity. So what about you? Have you ever been in love?"
"I think so, yeah."
"The Topanginator?" Sam asked, immediately burying her head in her hands. "Did I just say that out loud?" she shrieked, trying to hold back her laughter.
"I take it you weren't a fan of Danielle," he said stressing her name, now trying to repress his own laughter.
"No, I was just kidding. I really didn't have an opinion on your relationship either way. It was none of my business," Sam grinned as she continued. "Was I curious, did I enjoy making fun of her sometimes? Yes, but I made fun of you just as much. If not more."
"What kind of fan were you!?!" Lance screeched in mock horror. "But back to the second part of the conversation," he said winking at her.
"So once again it all comes back to sex," Sam joked. "No, I've never had a sexual relationship either," she said hesitantly. Although she felt she could be open with Lance, that she could trust him, she still wasn't ready to tell him everything about her past. She hadn't a second thought about what she had just revealed to him though. Its not like she was embarrassed about her lack of experience, but she usually wasn't able to be this open about it so soon after meeting someone.
"So are you waiting until you get married?"
"I wouldn't be opposed to it, if I were with someone who wanted to wait," she sat up as she continued. "But I always thought it'd be nice to just be in love. I just want some love, we all really need love," she smiled, softly singing the line from a song on the group's debut CD.
"So what kind of guy do you want to give you this love?" Lance asked, now more intrigued by her than ever. He loved the fact that she was able to be so forthcoming about something so deeply personal in one breath and in the next be playfully mocking him.
"Hmm, what kind of man do I want," she said pondering his question. "I want a guy who isn't afraid to hold my hand in public, who will bring me flowers, and take me on a picnic, and walk along the beach at sunset. He wouldn't be afraid of letting other people see that he was in love. Someone who will watch a ball game with me one night, and the next take me out to a fancy restaurant. He'd consider me a friend as well as a lover, and always an equal. He'd have to be honest and loyal. And most importantly, always talk to me about whatever we may be going through. I tend to keep things bottled up and I need someone to help bring it out of me sometimes."
Lance stared at her in amazement; she had pretty described exactly what he wanted in a relationship. "So you haven't found anybody who has done any of these things for you?"
"Nope. I guess I'm asking too much," she paused shrugging and looking down at her hands. "Maybe that's why I'm still alone," she said softly.
"I don't think that's it," he said raising her chin with his hand. "I just don't think you've been hanging around the right guys."
*****
Lance laughed out loud remembering how they never did get to any embarrassing stories of his and Justin's that night. He also remembered how truly connected he had felt to her that night and every minute since then.
"Yo dude, what the heck are you doing?"
Lance sat up startled to see Chris in the doorway. "What? I was just lying here thinking, why?"
"Because I've been standing here staring at you forever and you didn't even notice."
"Sorry I was somewhere else," he said rubbing his forehead. "What's up?"
"We need to leave for the interviews." Lance stood up and followed Chris into the main room of the suite. "Somewhere else huh? Does it maybe start with a V, end with an S, and have an E-G-A in the middle?" Chris asked laughing at his own joke. Lance was silent as he bent over and picked up his bag. "Oh come on man, that was funny!" Chris yelled as they walked into the hallway.