Chapter Five
Eclipse
"You really ARE Nick Carter!"
Shanna was talking to Nick. After nearly an hour of testing and drilling, she’d come to the conclusion that her friend Chloe really had met Nick Carter on the Internet, and was going out with him. This realization sent her mind into a whirlwind of dizziness and excitement. Chloe had just told her earlier that day that she’d spoken to Nick about her, and he’d agreed to talk to Shanna.
Nick’s response was a light-hearted, "Yup, last time I checked!"
Shanna laughed out loud, and felt some of the tension in her shoulders evaporate. She’d quizzed him on his present location, past concerts, the other Boys, everything! And he hadn’t made one mistake. Shanna was convinced, and couldn’t wait to tell Chloe. "I’m sorry," she typed to Nick. "About not letting up sooner."
"Nah, don’t worry about it, sweetie," Nick replied, sending shivers down Shanna’s spine. He called me sweetie! "At least you believe me now!"
Shanna grinned, and nodded, even though he couldn’t see her actions. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so happy. She would have wanted to talk to him for the rest of the night, had her mother not called her then, reminding her that she had to leave for acting class within the next few minutes. "Hey, I gotta go," she typed regretfully.
"I’m sorry, but maybe I’ll talk to you later?"
"Sure!" was Nick’s quick answer. "If you talk to Chloe before I do, tell her I love her, OK?"
Shanna felt her heart warm. He was so caring! "You bet I will," she assured him. Bye!"
"See ya later, Shanna."
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Chloe, meanwhile, was glued to the TV, watching Much Music. The VJ had just said that Backstreet Boys were coming up next, and there was no way she was going to miss them. As she waited for the commercials to conclude, Chloe laid back against the headboard of her bed, wondering if Shanna had talked to Nick yet that day. She was nervous about this
confrontation, because she knew that if anyone could prove that her Nick wasn’t really Nick Carter, it would be Shanna. But it IS him! she thought desperately. It has to be him! But there was that doubt in her mind that she just couldn’t shake. Sure, she’d talked to him every night for the past 3 months, but there was still that possibility. Chloe shuddered, shoving out the idea that her boyfriend
could be lying to her. Just because she could see him when she closed her eyes didn’t mean that he was really the person she was seeing, did it? Maybe it was just her own heart lying to her, her own heart wanting to be loved and appreciated.
NO! came a powerful voice inside Chloe’s head. It was refusing to accept this untrue reality, blocking the sun of possible truth. No, No, NO! It is Nick Carter, my boyfriend IS Nick Carter! It is! With defiant precision, Chloe jumped off her bed and stood in front of her dresser. Staring hard at herself in the mirror, Chloe attempted to peer beyond the physical manifestation of herself, and catch a glimpse
into her heart, into her soul. It didn’t take her long to realize that to see her heart, she had to close her eyes. The heart couldn’t be seen with the eyes, it was seen with emotion. And her soul was inside her.
With startling realization, Chloe closed her eyes. Inside Chloe’s heart was a scene of theatrical smoke and pale pink spot lights. It was almost like a corridor, a long hallway leading into the unknown. Chloe peered into the fog, squinting urgently in front of her. Where am I? she wondered, confused. This can’t be inside my heart! It’s
so…foggy!
"Baby, can you see me?"
Chloe gasped, and spun around. Nick was there, standing behind her.
"Nick!" she exclaimed, surprised. "Where are…what are…how are…where are we?"
Nick’s slow, sly grin crept over his face. He kissed her gently. "Your heart, Chloe," he said.
Chloe lost herself in the moment of this kiss. "My heart," she repeated slowly. "But it’s so…so foggy."
"You don’t know why?"
Chloe shook her head, glancing over Nick’s shoulder and seeing only the same pale pink fog. "I have no idea."
Nick cocked his head, smiling down at her through his long eyelashes. "Let me explain it to you then," he started. "Come with me." He took Chloe’s hand in his and lead her forward.
"Baby, I can’t see where I’m going," she commented hesitantly. She clutched his hand tightly.
Nick turned around to face her, and placed his index finger over her lips. "Shh," he whispered, then replacing his finger with his own lips and kissing her again. "I’ll show you."
Chloe smiled, embarrassed. "OK," she agreed.
"Whatever you do, do not let go of my hand," Nick told her, quoting Jack once again.Nick lead her through the corridor of her heart with skilled knowledge. Twists and turns brought them to a wide open space, where the fog had altered colors from pale pink to blue.
"You seem to know my heart pretty well, Nick," Chloe teased, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind. "How long have you been here?"
Nick turned to face her once again, and lifted her chin with his thumb.
"Longer than you know," he said softly, kissing her cheek.
Chloe grinned shyly, and closed her eyes again, obligingly. "I love you," she murmured.
"I love you more."
Chloe, surprised, opened her eyes once again. "You do not!" she played, tickling Nick’s sides. "I love you most!"
Nick laughed, the sound echoing through her heart. "We’ll see about that," he challenged. His eyes sparkled. "Now close your eyes!"
Chloe giggled. "Oops, I forgot," she said, closing her eyes for the last time. "OK, where are we going?"
Nick took hold of her hand again. "Silly girl," he commented. "Sit down."
"OK, then." Chloe found her way to the ground, and crossed her legs.
"Why am I sitting down? I thought we were going somewhere."
She had wanted him to laugh, but the aura surrounding him had turned serious. "Keep your eyes closed, baby," he whispered.
He was very close to her face, Chloe could fell his warm breath on her cheek.
"Chloe," he began. "What does love mean to you?"
Chloe was taken aback, and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Well…love is you, Nick. It’s what I feel for you."
Nick’s arms wrapped around her, and drew her into his chest.
"Can I tell you what it means to me?" he asked softly.
Chloe nodded. "If you let me look into your eyes while you tell me," she whispered. She opened her eyes slowly, and was drawn into Nick’s gaze, like always. He looked so perfect in front of her. Blonde hair falling into his eyes, a shy grin sparkling just for her. Chloe felt herself melt. "I love you," she said on impulse.
Nick kissed her then, a slow gentle kiss. "I love you too,
baby," he replied. "And love to me…is exactly the reason why I’m here in your heart in the first place." He gestured around the two of them.
"Notice how you can’t see anything? It’s all foggy…and at first glance, that seems like a bad thing. But you, Chloe, you made me realize that it’s not bad at all. Because love to me is having no idea where you are, but not caring at all, because you know that in the end, you’ll be with the one you love. And I believe that no matter where I am in this heart of yours, I’ll be with you at the end of the tunnel. I might get lost, and you might get lost, but no matter what, I love you. And baby, if you jump, I jump. I promise to never let go. I Love You."
Tears welled up in Chloe’s baby blue eyes, and spilled over her cheeks. "Omigod," she whispered. "Nick…you’re so…." She couldn’t finish her sentence.
"Do you see now?" Nick asked, wrapping his arms tighter around her. "It’s foggy in here because it doesn’t matter."
"But what about your managers finding out about me?"
Nick shook his head, and placed his finger over Chloe’s lips again. "Shh," he said. "No worries about that. I talked to them, and they agreed to let me keep talking to you, as long as I don’t tell the public."
Chloe’s face lit up. "Really?" she gasped. "That’s so perfect!"Nick wiggled his eyebrows, making her giggle. "Almost as perfect as you."
At that moment, the beginning bars to As Long As You Love Me began to fill the corridor of Chloe’s heart. "Omigod, the video’s starting!" she exclaimed, remembering what she’d been waiting for in her bedroom.
Nick smiled. "I could just sing it to you right here," he
teased. As his angelic voice filled Chloe’s ears, she was content to simply lean back against Nick’s solid chest, and close her eyes. She was so in love with him, and never wanted to leave this moment. The two of them together inside Chloe’s heart, was all she needed, and all she was ever going to need.
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Later That Week :
"Chloe."
Chloe had just entered her house after school, and was throwing her book bag on the floor next to the stairs, when the seriousness of her father’s tone caught her off-guard. He was in his office as usual, but there was no systematic whir of the computer wafting from underneath the door. A bit worried, Chloe entered her father’s office. The last time he’d called her into his office like this, he’d been angry at her for being on the Internet so often.
"Yes, daddy?"
Robert gave no response, other than a cold stare into the eyes of his daughter. At his feet lay a large red binder.
Chloe gasped. "The…" She faltered, and her sentence broke off. That binder was the one in which she’d been saving her emails from Nick!
"Ummm…"
"You are not to talk to this impostor anymore, Chloe, do you understand me?"
He’d read the emails. Chloe’s heart began to race, and her palms dampened with sweat. Her first instinct was to cry, but she knew it would do no good. What do I do? she thought desperately. Her eyes remained glued to the binder on the floor, where at least 150 emails lay carefully arranged by date. Her personal letters…he’d invaded her privacy! "I…" she began weakly. She was unsure of what to say, and steaming with anger.
"I want no explanations," was Robert’s cold reply. "You are henceforth to erase full contact with this person claiming to be a Backstreet Boy, or else."
Chloe, unable to hold back tears any further, allowed a loud sob to escape her chest. "He’s not an impostor!" she cried.
Robert stood up from his chair, raising to his full 5’11 frame. "He is not Nick Carter, Chloe. No more contact, do I make myself clear?"
Sobs wracked Chloe’s body now, and she stumbled into the office, reaching for the emails. "No!" she screamed. She lunged for the binder.
Robert stepped in front of her, and she slammed into his shoulder. "Get up to your room!" he commanded. "No more Internet!"
The tears were flowing freely down Chloe’s cheeks, as she made one more desperate attempt to reach around her father to get to the binder. Unsuccessful, she turned her back finally and ran up to her room. How do I tell Nick? she demanded of herself. I can’t just let go! I promised him I wouldn’t!
A sudden light went on in her head, and she lunged for her telephone, dialing Shanna’s number and hoping against hope that her friend would pick up the phone.
"Yo, wassup, talk to me," came Shanna’s greeting on the line. Shanna was always so crazy and off the wall, striving to be different.
"Shanna, help!" Chloe sobbed into the receiver. "My dad…Nick…the Internet…help!" In her horrified memory of the past few minutes, Chloe found herself unable to make a complete sentence.
Shanna’s tone immediately turned serious. "Woah, Chloe, what’s wrong?" she asked. "Slow down, tell me what happened!"
Chloe only sobbed harder. "Nick…" she wailed. "Do something!"
"Chloe, calm down! What happened?" Shanna asked, raising her voice to make herself heard above her friend’s cries.
Chloe’s voice shook, but she managed to calm herself down long enough to scream, "My dad found out about Nick, Shanna! He doesn’t believe him, and cut off my Internet! What do I do? How do I tell Nick?"
Shanna gasped. "Oh no," she breathed. "Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry."
Chloe broke down in tears again. "I need to tell him!" she whined.
"OK, OK, Chloe. Hold on one second. Shh, I have an idea." Shanna didn’t, in fact, have any idea what she was going to say, but she hated to hear Chloe crying. "Chloe!"
Chloe stifled her sobs for the moment, desperate to hear Shanna’s suggestion. "What?" she demanded. "Hurry, I need to tell Nick!"
Shanna wracked her brain, and miraculously found a solution, like she always seemed able to do in this sort of situation. "Lie," she stated simply.
Chloe’s eyes widened. "Lie?" she repeated, confused.
"Yes, lie. Make your dad happy by saying that you’ll stop talking to who he thinks is an impostor. But, Chloe, I talked to him earlier this week, and I swear it is him. He wouldn’t lie for this long. And he would have made a mistake by now. I mean, come on. It’s been a few months, he
wouldn’t lead you on this long."
Chloe pondered this thought, agreeing completely. Before long, she’d made her decision. With a nod, she said, "OK, I’ll do it. Besides, my dad will take it all back when Nick comes to visit or something, right?"
Shanna laughed. "Oh, he’ll regret what he said all right!" she hooted.
"I gotta go though, OK? We’ve got an extra rehearsal for the play tonight, and I wanna get there a bit early."
Chloe was shocked how little time it had taken her to completely abandon her memories of acting and modeling. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she struggled to remember even what her part was in the play. It just didn’t seem that important anymore…not after Nick. Now, Nick was the
important thing. "Yeah, sure," she said absently. "See you later."
Chloe hung up the phone and lifted herself up onto her bed. Flipping on the TV, she was immediately distraught to see the video for All I Have To Give just ending on Much Music. "I missed it!" she cried out loud, anguished.
She was about to flip off the TV when the VJ appeared on the screen, smiling broadly and waving a sheet of paper in front of the camera. "Big Backstreet News!" Rick The Temp was shouting, jumping in tiny circles as though he’d just downed a six pack of Coke. "Y’all ready for this?"Chloe sat up in her bed, smiling. I wonder if Nick told the public about me, she wondered, dizzy with excitement. She wrapped her arms around herself happily and concentrated on the screen.
"Nick Carter, the blondest, youngest member of the group is off the market!" Rick announced, appearing very cocky about producing this news. "He has a girlfriend!"
Omigod, thought Chloe, her head spinning. He actually told! My name is going to be on national television!
"The girl’s name is…" Rick paused, and glanced down at his reference sheet. "Uh oh," he muttered under his breath. More audibly, he said, "her name’s not been released. Uhhh…well, we do have video footage of the two lovebirds together, so just cut to the tape." Rick looked flustered, but managed a smile for his viewers.
Chloe’s heart froze over. Video footage? How could there possibly be video footage? I haven’t been physically with him yet…
The videotape showed Brian Littrell exiting a fancy restaurant, dressed up in a tailored suit and his trademark grin. He gave a brief wave to the camera, and stepped out of view, replaced with the tall, handsome blonde boy that Chloe had come to know as her boyfriend. But in this footage, he had his arm around a tall, thin girl with shoulder length auburn hair, green eyes, and a beautiful smile. In plain view of the camera, he embraced this girl and kissed her gently, right on the mouth. With the same shy grin that belonged to Chloe, he slipped his hand in
between this beautiful girl’s slender fingers and left the camera’s lens. The videotape ended.
Chloe didn’t notice the tears streaming from her eyes until the salty taste invaded her tongue. With bitter realization, Chloe slammed her eyes shut against this new sunlight, and fell backwards onto her bed. The TV seemed to evaporate into the background. Raindrop-shaped tears
slipped sideways and left their mark on her pillowcase, but the girl took no notice. As Chloe’s heart broke, she could feel the sun of her fantasy begin to set, and the vibration of her silent sobs echoed through her bedroom.
