Chapter Eight
Twilight
Chloe jumped back from Nick’s arms guiltily, reaching for the blanket that she’d dropped to the floor. Her father stood in the doorway to the room, anger spreading like wildfire through his eyes. He was staring at her in disbelief.
"Dad, I…" Chloe started, having no clue what she wanted to say.
Nick stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around Chloe. "It’s OK baby," he whispered in her ear. "Just wake up, and you’ll be OK."
"Chloe, what the hell do you think you’re doing?" Robert screamed, his fists clenching.
Nick buried his head in her shoulder. "Baby, you have to go," he was saying.
Chloe’s eyes filled with tears, and she bowed her head. This is not happening, she thought desperately. Aloud, she whispered, "Dad, you don’t understand."
"Explain it to me then!" Robert shrieked, furious.
"Just open your eyes, Chloe," Nick begged. "It’ll be OK."
Chloe, her vision blurred, looked frantically between Nick and her father. I can’t leave you, she thought, seeing Nick’s face. I can’t go.Nick’s eyes were gleaming with tears, but refused to fall. Chloe started to reach out to him, but found that her arms could no longer touch. "Nick!" she screamed, her hands flailing for him. He stood, watching her. "Nick, please!"
Maybe it was the tears falling from her eyes, or maybe it was the reflection of the morning sun streaming through the window. Whatever it was, to Chloe’s horror, in the dawn of this new day, Nick began to fade away. His face expressionless, his eyes glistening, the physical manifestation of Nick Carter began to disperse. "I’m sorry," came his voice, carried over the tension of silence. "I’m so sorry." With slow agility, Nick disappeared.
Chloe stood, her feet planted to the ground, hopelessly watching as her life ended. "Nick…" she whispered to a room empty of love. But Nick was gone.
Slowly, she turned around, facing her father. Robert was watching too, but he was watching Chloe. "Chloe, open your eyes and talk to me now!" he said sternly.
Chloe stared into the eyes of her so-called father. Struggling to open her eyes, she found herself face down on the computer keyboard, in the same position she’d closed her eyes in the night before. She gasped and sat up straight. The blinding light of the computer screen penetrated her sensitive vision. She took a moment to focus, and saw a message from Nick : "I’m so sorry."
"Omigod," Chloe whispered, staring at the screen. Her father was screaming at her in the background, but she paid no attention. She could feel it; she could feel her heart shattering. She could almost hear it, raging against her conscience, challenging her sense of reason. She didn’t even completely understand what was happening, but she wanted more than anything to just close her eyes and go back to Nick. Only Nick would no longer be there.
"Chloe, look at me!" came her father’s voice.
She turned to look at him, registering for the first time the fact that he must have been standing there the entire time, trying to wake her up from her fantasy. Her eyebrows furrowed as she came to a frightening realization. In this moment of silence, the phone began to ring. Chloe’s eyes darted between the telephone and her father’s accusing stare. Blankly, she reached for the receiver. Her voice sounded foreign to even her as she said, "Hello?"
"Chloe!" came Shanna’s surprised voice. "I’ve been calling for the last half hour!"
Chloe slammed her eyes shut. That must have been who was on the phone when she was with Nick. "What do you want?" she asked dully.
There was a pause, and Shanna took a deep breath. "Chloe…" she began slowly. "Sit down."
"My father is here, what do you want?" Chloe repeated. "And I’m already sitting down." She felt her eyes fill with tears.
"Chloe, I told my dad about your Nick," Shanna said.
"Uh huh." Chloe had shut off her heart, she was staring sullenly at the computer screen, wanting only to go back to Nick. She paid no attention to her friend’s voice on the other end. Her father stood staring at her.
"Chloe, my dad put a trace on this guy. It’s not Nick Carter."
An alarm sounded in Chloe’s heart. She felt her throat go hoarse, and her eyes went dry. She blinked, looked up at her father. Memories of her baby made their way through her mind in slow motion. "You’re wrong," she said simply into the receiver. She wanted to hang up on this eclipse of her soul.
"I’m sorry, Chloe," came Shanna’s monotone voice. She felt like crying, and she didn’t know why.
"I have to go. Bye." Chloe hung up the phone, and bowed her head. Staring at the floor, she closed her eyes, praying that Nick would be there waiting for her, like he said he would always be. The image of her father disappeared.
Chloe opened her eyes to the fantasy of her life. She stood on a beach, the same strip of ocean and sand that belonged to her and Nick. This was the first time she’d been there in the morning, the first time where there was the absence of stars and a bright full moon. The ocean was still, hesitantly rolling upwards onto the shore. The sun was dull, unwilling to fulfill its promise in the wake of this new dawn. Chloe stood motionless in the sand, waiting for Nick. She made no sound, her breathing came slowly. Her hands clenched and unclenched, she bit on her lip. Still, she waited.
Chloe, a mere sixteen years old, allowed her mind to wander then. She remembered the first night she’d talked to her Nick, smiled at the memory of her own awkwardness. She remembered the brand new feeling he’d given her when he’d told her he was falling in love. She remembered the touch of his fingers on her lips, remembered the softness of his kiss. She remembered how he’d held her as she cried, remembered how he’d kissed away her tears. Chloe remembered how he’d made her smile, and how his touch had made her heart soar. She thought about the night before, when she’d given herself to him, allowed him to make her his. But above everything else, she thought of how he’d freed her. Nick had taken Chloe by the hand and lead her into a whole new world of unconditional love. She remembered how her love for him had surpassed any rules set by her family, or by his management, and how she would have jumped off a cliff with no hesitation, as long as he’d have been there, holding her hand. She remembered her love for him, and his love for her.
And still, Chloe waited. Her heart blocked the fact that Nick was not coming. She refused to believe that something so right could have been wrong. She stood on the beach, in the cold of that September morning, shivering inside herself. She closed her eyes, silently begging Nick to
come back, to come and hold her in his arms, tell her that this was all a big misunderstanding. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to convince herself that her arms were Nick’s, cradling her close to his chest, whispering how much he loved her. Nick didn’t come.
Chloe, her eyes dry and her throat choked, turned her back on the rolling waves of the Pacific Ocean. She was alone. For the first time in seven months, she was thrust back into the restrictions of her reality and out of Nick’s arms. The crisp breeze blew through her empty heart, sending chills through her body. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes against this scene, and opened them again to her own house.
Her father stood there, as he had been for the past half hour. He’d stopped talking, and was simply watching Chloe. His nightmare was coming true. He’d sensed from the phone call that Chloe’s impostor had been discovered, and her heart was breaking. He didn’t know what to say, and so he watched.
Chloe stood up, and walked out of the room, expressionless. Her mind, her heart, and her soul were blank. She just needed to be alone. As long as she didn’t have to face it, it wasn’t really happening.
Robert Woodward watched his daughter leave the room, didn’t try to stop her. He’d come down to yell at her for being on the computer all night, but this no longer seemed relevent. He cursed himself for being at a loss for words.
Chloe made her way up the stairs, and to her bedroom. Opening the door, she entered into a world where she could still pretend to live out her fantasy. The last time I was in this room, she thought. The last time I was in this room, my life was perfect.
She stood in the middle of the room, and turned slowly in a semi-circle. She stopped in front of the mirror, stared at her reflection.The girl in the mirror was empty. Empty of expression, empty of emotion. Chloe forced her eyes to remain fixed on this image, physically feeling herself being thrown heartlessly back into a reality she detested. She was desperate to cling to something she didn’t understand, but knew that if she lost it, she would be nothing.
With abrupt anger and defiance, Chloe left her bedroom, and entered the bathroom. I want you back, she thought dangerously. Nick….
Chloe forced whatever food she could up through her throat, feeling the pain of anorexia flooding back. Her dream was over.
