Duet, Pt. 21<bR><bR>

Kevin felt his heart skip a beat, "Rae, what are you talking about?"  Rae sighed and walked over to the couch, "I had a younger brother...he is...he would have been the same age as Nicky.  His name was Neil, he was killed in a car crash when he was 17.  He and Nick would have been the best of friends--they're a lot alike.  When Nick came into my life it was like I got a second chance to be a big sister...I guess I take that role pretty seriously."  Kevin didn't say anything for a long time as he tried to process what Rachel was telling him.  Finally he knelt on the carpet in front of his fiancee and touched her cheek, "I'm so sorry I teased you baby...I had no idea..."  Rae managed a weak smile, "It's okay...I know you didn't know...I haven't talked about it much...Nicky's pretty much the only person in Orlando who does know, I told him about Neil and how much he reminds me of him...he talked to me about Laura and about being sick.  I guess that's why we got so close..."<bR><bR>

*Nick's room*<bR><bR>

As he woke up Nick reached over for Ellie.  His eyes flew open and he groaned, the pain of her loss hitting him again.  He rolled over in his bed and buried his face in his pillow, not wanting to open his eyes and face the day without her by his side.  He heard a knock on his door and groaned again, "Go away..."  "Nick, Nicky??  Open up, it's Bri.  I want to talk to you."  Nick pulled the pillow over his head, "Go away!!!!!" he yelled, more loudly this time, his voice muffled by the pillow.  "Nick, c'mon...you need to be up soon anyway!!"  Nick cursed under his breath and climbed out of the bed, flinging open the door to his room and then collapsing back onto his bed, his eyes closed.  Brian stood at the foot of his bed, "Nick...what happened??  Where's Ellie?  AJ said you showed up alone last night.  What's going on??"<bR><bR>

Nick opened his eyes and looked at Brian, "I really don't want to talk about it."  Brian sighed, "Dammit Frack, you gotta talk to someone...what did you do to make her leave??"  Nick sat up and stared at Brian, "What did you just say?"  Brian groaned, "I...shit, I didn't mean it the way it sounded."  "Oh...so what did you mean Bri??  Enlighten me," Nick responded.   "Nick, I...I didn't come here to fight with you...I came to see if you were ok..."  Nick shook his head, "That's not good enough...you think this is all my fault don't you?  You think I drove her away!"  Brian stared at his friend, "Nick, I just...look Ellie loves you, she would not have left you unless you hurt her badly..."  Nick's eyes widened, "Hurt HER??  Jesus Christ Bri, she hurt me too!  God I thought you were my friend!"  "I am your friend Nick...I know she hurt you but shit, aren't you gonna make some allowances for what she's been through while waiting for you to make some kind of commitment to her??"  Nick's jaw dropped, "Where the FUCK do you get off telling me what to do???"  Brian shook his head sadly, "This is coming out all wrong...I seem to be saying all the wrong things to you all the time...I'm really sorry bro...I better go before I make things worse."  Nick watched as Brian walked to the door, "Nicky...I am sorry about everything, I really am..."  Nick turned away, not wanting Brian to see him cry again, "Brian, please go..."<bR><bR>

Nick walked slowly into the hotel restaurant and to where his friends were seated, an incredible feeling of despair coming over him as he realized that not 24 hours ago he'd been happily having breakfast with Ellie after spending an incredible night together.  He leaned against the wall, feeling sick to his stomach, and watched his friends until the feeling subsided. He was about to turn around and leave when Rachel appeared at his side, "Nicky??"  He turned to look at her, "Hey..."  She took one look at him and went to hug him, stopped only by Nick's raised hands, "Don't Rae....I'm gonna lose it if you do..."  She nodded, "You are going to come and have something to eat right???"  Nick managed a weak smile, "Yes mom..."  Rae stuck her tongue out at him and they walked over to the table where the rest of the Boys sat.  AJ looked at his friends, "He looks awful...I can't believe that they broke up again, I thought things were getting better between them."  Brian sighed, "I think Nick thought that too..." he looked over at Kevin, "I tried to get him to open up to me this morning, but I didn't get very far, "Maybe you and Rae want to try..."  The group got quiet as Nick and Rachel approached the table and Nick stopped walking, "I can't do this..."  Rae looked at him, "What do you mean?"  He turned to her, "I can't sit here and act like everything's okay.  I'm gonna go for a walk or something..."  Rachel nodded, not really knowing what to say, and walked the rest of the way to the table alone.  "Where's he going??" AJ asked.  "Don't know...he didn't really say" Rachel said, looking dejected as she took her seat next to Kevin.<bR><bR>

Duet, Pt. 22<bR><bR>

Nick walked down to the manmade lake behind the hotel and sat down at the water's edge, leaning his back against a tree.  He kept running over Brian's words in his head, wondering if maybe Brian was right about things with Ellie.  He shook his head as if trying to clear his thoughts, "I made love to you and I told you that I love you El...what more do I need to do?" he said outloud, not caring if he was overheard.  He rested his head in his hands and tried to figure out how things had gone so wrong but he didn't know where to start.  Groaning, Nick got up and decided to go back to the hotel and try to talk to Kevin or Rae, hoping that one of them could help him sort things out.<bR><bR>

*Nick's room*<bR><bR>

Nick picked up the phone and dialed Rae and Kevin's room, disappointed not to get an answer.  He was wondering where they were when he noticed that he had a message.  Nick listened to it and sighed in frustration--Kevin and Rae had gone to the airport to pick up Rae's parents, whom Kevin had arranged to have flown in to see the concerts the Boys were doing and to help the happy couple celebrate their engagement.  Nick paced around his room for a little while trying to decide what to do, knowing that he really needed to talk to someone.  Finally he made up his mind and walked out the door and across the hall to Brian's room.  He heard Brian yell out "Who is it?"  "It's me Bri...I need to talk to you..."  He didn't have long to wait as Brian hurried over to the door and swung it open, his face wearing a look of surprise.   "Hey Fracky..." Brian said quietly, wondering what Nick wanted to talk about but at the same time happy that Nick had come to him. Nick leaned against the door frame, suddenly feeling exhausted, "Hey Bri...I...I...oh damn..." Nick's face crumpled as the weight of everything he was feeling overcame him.<bR><bR> 

Brian pulled him into the room and sat him down on the couch before heading to the mini-bar, grabbing the first thing he saw and pouring it into a glass which he then handed to Nick, "Drink this."  Nick shook his head but Brian wouldn't take no for an answer, "Drink it Nicky!"  Nick obediently swallowed the liquid, wincing as the whiskey burned its way down his throat, "Goddamn that's gross..." he muttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  Brian grinned, "Feel better?"  Nick wiped his face on his sleeve and nodded, "Yeah...thanks Frick."  Brian smiled hearing his nickname, "You haven't called me that for a while..."  Nick looked up at him, "I haven't felt much like calling you that..."  Brian sighed heavily, "Yeah, I know...but my guess is that's not what you're here to talk about..."  Nick shook his head, "No, I..I wanted to talk to you about what you were saying earlier...about me not giving Ellie the commitment she needs...I...well, I guess I'm beginning to think that maybe you're right..."<bR><bR>

Brian raised his eyebrows and looked at Nick, "Why the change of heart?" It was Nick's turn to sigh, "I don't know...I guess it's just that I'm looking for some explanation...something that I can understand...Frick, how could she just leave like that?  I know she was upset, so was I but god...I...I...I love her Rok...and I told her and she acted like she didn't care..."  Brian's jaw dropped, "Oh shit, Nicky...I'm really sorry...I didn't know...I never would have said what I did this morning if I'd known. Nick said nothing, not trusting himself to speak, as the tears began to roll silently down his cheeks, "Frick, I miss her so much..." he managed to choke out just before he started to sob in earnest, his shoulders shaking as he cried.  Brian sat down next to his friend and hugged him, wishing he knew how to make things better, "I'm sorry man..."  Nick continued to cry, and Brian felt the tears starting to well up in his own eyes as he listened to his friend sob.<bR><bR>  

It was a while before Nick was able to stop crying but finally he leaned against the back of the couch, "What should I do Frick??  I don't even know if she'd want to try again...I feel like we've both been hurt so much already...but it kills me to think of losing her forever.  I've already been through that once...I...I can't lose someone like that again..." Brian's heart broke as he listened to the emotion in Nick's voice, and the guilt at not being there for him when Laura was dying once again overwhelmed him.  He looked away, trying to pull himself together, but when he looked over at his best friend there were tears rolling down his own face, "Frack...I wish I could put into words how sorry I am about last year...about not being more supportive when you brought Laura back and told me you were getting married.  I was so fucking scared that I was gonna lose you that I couldn't see how important she was to you...couldn't understand how much you loved her and needed to do that for her, and for yourself.  I swear to you, Nicky, I've got your back this time around...you need me and I'll be there for you, no matter what.  I promise you that."<bR><bR>

Nick looked at him, his face stained with tears, "Thanks Frick...that means a lot...it really does."  Brian managed a weak grin, "Good, so now we need to figure out what to do about you and Ellie.  You two belong together Nicky...we just have to make it happen.  I know Ellie loves you...I think she loved you before she ever even met you...heck I think she loved you when you were still a scrawny 17 year old...love like that doesn't die easily...it can take a lot of beatings and it still survives.  I think both if us need to get some rest before tonight's show and then tomorrow, when we're both thinking a little more clearly, we'll come up with a solution, I just know we will."  Nick leaned his head back against the couch, "I hope so Frick...I need her in my life..."  Brian smiled, "Go take a nap Frack...things will make more sense in the morning, I promise."  Nick nodded and headed back to his room, leaving Brian to collapse on his own bed, completely drained of emotion.<bR><bR>



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