PART 23
*The Next Morning*
Nick was outside on the balcony of his hotel room, staring down at the water he heard the knock on his door. He walked over and swung the door open to see Rae standing there, "Morning Nicky..." she smiled. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be busy with your parents..." he responded, walking away from her and back out to the balcony. Rae winced as she heard the edge in his voice, "I know, I feel like I hardly saw you yesterday except when you came down to the restaurant. Did you get my message?" "Yeah, I got your message..." Nick replied, his back still to her. "Nicky?" Rae touched his shoulder, "Look at me...are you angry with me?" Nick sighed and turned towards her, "I really needed to talk yesterday...I wish you'd been around...I talked to Bri though...I guess that was something we really needed to do." Rae nodded, "I'm glad Nick...is everything okay with you two now?" Nick shook his head, "No...but it felt good to talk to him...I guess I've missed him."
*Brian's room*
Kevin looked over at his cousin as they ate their room service breakfast. "Yeah, I think that Rae's folks probably would like to spend some time with Rae and Nicky. From what I can tell, she's told them all about him. Speaking of Nicky, is it my imagination or were you two actually kidding around with each other last night?" Brian grinned, "Yeah...we had a long talk, finally. We're not all the way back yet but I think he's finally forgiven me...we talked a lot about Ellie too...he told me he loves her. I guess that's one of the things that's making her leaving so hard, he told her how he feels and she didn't really react to it." Kevin's eyes widened, "He did? God, no wonder he looked so bad when she left..that must have hurt like hell. If I ever lost Rae I'd go crazy..." Brian laughed, "I don't think there's much chance of that happening...I can't imagine Rae leaving you, or Nick for that matter!" Kevin laughed and the two men finished breakfast, ready to find out what the rest of the group was up to.
Brian and Kevin had just opened the door when Nick and Rae came walking out of Nick's room across the hall. Kevin grinned at his fiancee, "Hey baby, your parents up yet??" Rachel shook her head, "Not yet...I think they have some jet lag. Nicky, I was just about to ask if you want to have lunch with us later...I think they'd really like to meet you." Nick sighed heavily, "I don't know Rae...I don't think I'm very good company right now..." Rae looked up at Nick, her eyes pleading, "Please Nick? They've heard so much about you...it would mean a lot to them...and to me..." Nick managed a weak smile, "All right Rae...what time and where?" They made lunch arrangements and then Brian pulled Nick aside "You okay Frack?" Nick took a deep breath, "Yeah...I guess...I missed her so much last night Frick--I guess I didn't sleep very well. I've been up for hours...shit, Bri, she's only been gone a couple of days and I'm a mess...I don't think I can do this..." Brian sighed, "Then call her Nick...call her and tell her how you feel, tell her you love her and need her--that's probably all she's waiting to hear." Nicky nodded, "I hope so Rok..., I really hope so."
*Nick's room*
Nick rubbed his eyes tiredly and sat down on the bed, picking up the phone. "Shit..." he said outloud, "I don't even know how to reach her..." He thought for a couple of minutes and then dialed a familiar number, reaching a friend at Jive Records. It took another 15 minutes before Nick finally had a number for Ellie's new manager, Michael Kent, and he took a deep, shaky breath before picking up the phone and dialing the number he'd been given. He was both disappointed and relieved to reach Michael's voicemail and left a message asking Michael for Ellie's number. Nick leaned back against the headboard and closed his eyes, wondering how soon he'd hear back. He slept for nearly an hour before the phone rang and he grabbed it, "Hello??" Hey Frack...just calling to make sure you remembered the photo shoot..." Nick sighed in disappointment, "Oh, hey Bri..yeah I remembered." Brian chewed on his lower lip, "Didn't get hold of her?" "Nope...left a message with her new manager, asking him for her number or to have her call me. I was kinda hoping it was her when you called." "Sorry Frack..." Brian responded, feeling bad for his friend. "I know Bri, I'm trying not to get my hopes up..."
*Nick's room--that night*
Nick stretched tiredly. It had been a long, busy day. The photo shoot had taken forever and then he had had lunch with Rae and her parents. He smiled a little thinking back to how sweet Rae's mom had been, and how she had seemed close to tears several times during their conversation. Throughout the day his mind had only been half focused on what he was doing and where he was, the other half wondering if and when Ellie would call him and what he would say to her when she did. He looked at the message light on the phone as if willing it to somehow light up and then yawned, leaning back against the pillows and closing his eyes.
*London--Six weeks later*
Brian stared distractedly out of the limousine window, wishing he'd stayed at the hotel with Nick. AJ looked over at him, "He'll be okay Bri...we're only gonna be gone a few hours and he'll probably go to sleep pretty soon." Brian turned and looked at AJ, "How much longer do you think he can do this? He's trying so hard to act like he's okay but we all know he's dying inside. I just don't get it AJ...I don't understand why she hasn't called him." "Yeah...I thought for sure she'd be back as soon as Nick reached out..." Howie chimed in. Kevin didn't say anything until AJ tapped him on the shoulder, "Train??" "Huh? I was just thinking about Nicky..." Kevin responded. "Join the club," Brian laughed, but there was no humor in his voice, "I don't think Nick's slept a whole night since we left Belgium." The limo pulled up outside AJ's favorite club and the Boys climbed out, none of them entirely focused on festivities ahead.
*At the hotel*
Nick wandered down to the hotel gift shop, looking for something to read. He was pleasantly surprised to see the new issue of Big Magazine and picked it up along with a newspaper. Nick was lying on his bed flipping idly through the pages of the magazine when he saw something that made him suck in his breath in shock, a sharp pain knifing through him. He stared at the photograph, reading and rereading the caption as if hoping the words would somehow change, "Up and comer Ellie Sandler looks awfully cosy with her new manager Michael Kent. Looks like the rumors about her split with Nick Backstreet are true." Nick felt the tears burn in the back of his eyes and he fought them back, still unable to believe what he was looking at. Finally he could hold back no longer and he laid his head on his arms and sobbed, the pain of the last few weeks finally overcoming him.
PART 24
*At the hotel--later that night*
Brian looked over at his friends, "I'm gonna head up, I want to look in on Nick before I go to bed." Howie nodded, "Is it just me or does he look like he's lost weight?" Kevin and Brian glanced at each other, "You noticed too?" Kevin asked, "Damn, I was hoping I was just imagining it." "Doesn't he have a checkup soon?" AJ asked. Everyone looked at Brian and he nodded, "Yeah...he's gonna fly home late next week while we're doing those TV interviews in Paris. I think he said his mom is gonna fly in since none of us can be there." Brian told his friends goodnight and took the elevator up to his room. As quietly as possible, he opened the connecting door between his room and Nick's and looked in on his best friend. Nick was sound asleep, lying face down on the bed, his head still on his arms. Brian smiled and walked over to turn out the light, "Sleep well Nicky..." he said softly before heading back to his own room to go to bed.
*The next day*
Nick walked into the restaurant where the rest of the Boys were eating breakfast. "Yo Frick, why didn't you wake me up so I could come down and eat with you guys??" Nick asked as he sat down next to Howie. Nick missed the glances that the others exchanged at hearing the chipper tone in his voice. "Uh...you looked like you could really use the sleep Nick...sorry," Brian responded. Nick smiled, "It's ok...so how was the club last night?? You know, I really wish I'd gone with you guys instead of just hanging around in this stuffy old hotel. Did you guys have fun?" "Uh...yeah, it was a pretty good night...so what did you end up doing?" AJ responded. "Not much...read the paper...I ended up getting bored and falling asleep." The group bantered back and forth for the rest of their meal before heading out for a series of appearances.
Exhausted from posing for photographs and signing autographs, the Boys arrived back at their hotel late that afternoon to rest before the evening's performance. Nick groaned softly and rubbed his temples as they waited for the elevator in the hotel garage. "Headache Nicky?" Howie asked as he watched his friend. Nick nodded, "Yeah...I need some aspirin...shit, where's my backpack? Damn, I think I left it in the van." "I'll go back and get it for you," Howie responded, "Why don't you head on up and lie down, I'll bring it in through Bri's room so you don't have to get up." Nick nodded gratefully and he and got into the elevator with Brian, Kevin, and AJ. A few moments later Howie knocked on the door to Brian's room, "Thanks for getting that D...Nick looks like his head's about to come off!" Howie smiled and started rummaging through the backpack looking for aspirin, "Typical Frack, there's a mess in here...hey, I didn't see this, did you Bri?" he exclaimed, pulling out the issue of Big that Nick had purchased the previous night. Howie handed the magazine to Brian and went to take the aspirin and a glass of water to Nick. He was just walking in the connecting door when he heard Brian, "Shit!" "What? What?" Howie asked, walking over to his friend. Brian said nothing but pointed to the photograph of Ellie having dinner with her manager. Howie stared at the photograph and then looked up at Brian, "Holy shit...you think Nicky saw this?" Brian rolled his eyes, "Come on D...this totally explains why Nicky was acting the way he was today...you know how he gets when he doesn't want to admit that he's hurting. Shit, I can't believe she would do this to him...no wonder she never called him back." Howie shook his head, "I expected more from Ellie..." "Yeah, me too. I guess she decided she needed to move on."
*Tampa--A week later*
Dr. Clark sat down and looked at Nick and Jane. "Well, I have to say that I'm disappointed in your test results Nick." Jane paled, "He's not..." "No, no...there's no sign of cancer but Nick, your cell count isn't that great and you've lost too much weight since the last time I saw you. You also look like you haven't been sleeping very well. What's going on Nick?" "Nothing..." Nick mumbled. Dr. Clark sighed, "Nick, I've been your doctor since you first got sick...I can tell that you've been under stress lately. Tell us what's going on." Jane put her hand on her son's arm, "Nicky, does this have something to do with Ellie?" Nick's head jerked up, "What?" "You heard me Nick--is there something going on with Ellie that you haven't told me?" Nick sighed, "Mom...I don't really want to talk about her. She left me and now she's found somebody new. There's nothing left to say." "Nicky...have you tried telling her how you feel?" Jane asked. Angrily Nick stood up, "More times you can imagine Mom." He walked out of Dr. Clark's office leaving his mother looking helplessly at his doctor.
*Paris--the next day*
Brian looked up and smiled, happy to see his friend, "Hey Nicky...how'd it go?" "Fine Frick...what'd I miss??" Brian sighed, "Nicky, I've always been able to tell when you're lying to me...what did the doctor say?" Nick shook his head, "I'm fine Bri...geez, get off my case would ya??" Nick stalked off angrily, leaving Brian staring after him. "Shit," Brian muttered under his breath as he picked up his cell phone and dialed a familiar number. Twenty minutes later Brian was in Kevin's hotel room, his voice raised in anger, "Dammit Kev, I knew this was gonna happen...he's getting sick again!" Kevin tried to calm his cousin down, "Bri...what exactly did Jane say?" Brian stopped pacing around and looked at his cousin, "Cell counts aren't good, he's lost too much weight. She was practically crying Kev...she told me she begged Nick to come home with her for a few weeks instead of rejoining us." Kevin sighed heavily, "What now Bri?" Brian stood up, "I know one thing...I'm gonna call that...that...her and give her a piece of my mind!"
*Toronto--Offices of Michael Kent and Associates*
Ellie was walking out of Michael's office when she heard his secretary on the phone, "I'm sorry Mr. Littrell, she's in a meeting right now and can't be disturbed." Ellie's head snapped up at the familiar name and her heart stopped, the first thought coming to her mind was that something had happened to Nick. She rushed over to the phone and grabbed it from the secretary, "Brian? It's Ellie...is Nick all right?"
Brian laughed bitterly, "All right? Are you pretending that you care El? How could you hurt him like this? First you don't return any of his calls and then you don't even have the courtesy to tell him you're seeing someone else??!!?? Or is it that you didn't want Nick to know how quickly you replaced him?" Ellie sucked in her breath in shock and when she finally spoke her voice was shaking with confusion and hurt, "Brian, what are you talking about? Is Nick all right? Tell me that first!" "No Ellie, he's not...he just had a checkup...he's on the verge of getting sick again. Is that what you wanted to hear??" Ellie felt the tears burning in the back of her eyes at the harshness of Brian's voice and the news he was giving her, "Bri...Brian...oh god...Brian...no, no..." She sagged to the floor, the phone still gripped tightly in her hand, "Brian..." she whispered, "He can't be sick...oh God, Bri, there hasn't been a day in the last two months that I didn't miss him or need him, that I didn't ache to have his arms around me." "Then why Ellie, why didn't you call him back? Why didn't you tell him about you and Michael?" Ellie drew a deep, shaky breath, "He...he tried to call me?"
