Duet, Pt. 3
*Two weeks later*
Nick and Ellie had spent a considerable amount of time together over the preceding weeks, rehearsing and polishing the song until Nick felt satisfied that the finished product would be what he wanted. Brian, Kevin, and the others tried to be with Nick as much as they could, knowing that the anniversary of Laura's death loomed ever closer.
Nick tiredly ran his hands through his silky hair and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. "Frack? You ok?" Brian asked his friend, noting the dark circles under Nick's eyes and the pallor of his skin, "I wish you'd slow down a little and take it a little easier. There's no reason to rush this, it's ready when it's ready." Nick opened his eyes and looked at Brian, "It's just something I have to do Bri, I don't expect you to understand. It's something I NEED to do...for her." Brian sat down beside his best friend, "Nicky, I know you miss her a lot but..." Nick interrupted him, "Miss her a lot? God Bri, that doesn't even come close to what I feel...I feel so lost without her...like I don't know where I'm supposed to go without her." Brian looked at him, exasperated, "Nick, you've always known where you were going, you've always had a plan, as long as I've known you. How can someone who you knew for just a few short months change that?" As soon as the words were out Brian knew he'd said the wrong thing. Nick stood up angrily and looked down at him, "How can you even ask me that? You think I don't know that you thought I was wrong to marry her??? To, what was it I heard you say? Oh yes, to 'take on that kind of a burden.' I don't know why I am even talking to you about this." He shook his head and stomped out of the studio, leaving Brian still seated on the floor. "What the hell is up with Nick?" Howie asked, walking in and spying Brian, "He just ran out of here like the building was on fire!" Howie walked over to where Brian was sitting and looked at him, "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like your answer?" Brian looked up at Howie, "I said something really dumb...and if you don't mind I'd rather not talk about it."
*At the cemetery*
Nick sat by Laura's headstone, "I always come to you don't I?" he asked. "Sometimes I feel like this is the only place that I can find any peace...why'd you have to leave me baby? Oh, I know, in my head that you didn't have a choice, that it wasn't your decision to make. But some nights I lie awake and my need for you is so strong I'd give almost anything to have you by my side again. I miss you so much Laur..." As the tears of regret and loss coursed down his face he sang softly the words he had written long before he had ever met Laura, the words that said better than any others, what he felt.
By My Side...
Tonight I saw a glimpse of your smile within my own
Reflection oh, you look so beautiful in
A tear ran down my face and all my memories erased
Oh why'd you have to leave my side?
Oh why do all the rivers flow into the ocean
And why does all the pain I feel come from deep inside
Oh all these questions I could have answered if you by my side
Something made me look at you,
Something made me do what I had to do girl
Something made me talk to you
Something made me do what I shouldn't do
I want you by my side ( I want you by my side)
I want you by my side
Now every day this pain I feel slowly fades away
And all the memories of you and me are gone with yesterday
Oh what I'm askin girl is for one more chance
To let me in your life.....
Oh why do all the rivers flow into the ocean
And why does all the pain I feel come from deep inside
Oh all these questions I could have answered if you by my side
Something made me look at you,
Something made me do what I had to do girl
Something made me talk to you
Something made me do what I shouldn't do
I want you by my side ( I want you by my side)
I want you by my side
Nick stood up, "I love you..." he said as he kissed the tips of his fingers and brushed them over the engraved name on her headstone before heading back to his car.
*At the studio*
Howie looked at Brian, "What did you say to him Bri? I can tell it wasn't good." Brian sighed, "I really don't want to talk about it D. I'm just scared for him, like we all are, he can't keep pushing and pushing himself like this. Laura's anniversary is what, 2 weeks away? You've seen how he looks...he's gonna collapse if he keeps this up." Howie took a deep breath, "I know Bri, I worry about him too, but everybody handles this stuff differently. When I think about Caroline and what the first anniversary of her death was like for me, well, it was horrible...I wanted to die myself...as awful as that sounds. You just have to trust that Nick has chosen to deal with it a certain way, and even though you don't understand or agree, you have to be there for him if and when he needs you." Brian was about to respond when Ellie came bouncing in to the studio, "Hi guys! Where's Nick?" Howie opened his mouth to reply just as Nick walked in, his eyes a little red and puffy from crying but a faint smile on his face, "Hey El, did you think I'd forgotten about you?" Ellie grinned, "Nah, I would never think that...so where's this place you wanted to take me?" Nick smiled a little more broadly this time, "Come with me and you'll find out..." and then he took her hand and led her out of the studio, leaving Brian and Howie wondering what Nick was up to.
*A little later--on Nick's boat*
Ellie looked around in amazement, "Nick this is so beautiful...I can see why you like coming out here so much..." She turned to him, her eyes gleaming, "Thanks for bringing me out here..." Nick smiled, "You're welcome, I just thought both of us needed a break from the hustle and bustle of the studio...it's been a pretty crazy couple of weeks..." Ellie nodded and let her eyes roam over Nick as he steered the boat, taking in the way the sun glistened off his golden hair and his shirt clung to his muscled arms and chest. Her gaze wandered down to his butt, which she thought was one of the finest things she'd ever seen, and then over his muscular thighs. Ellie daydreamt as she watched Nick, wondering if he felt for her what she was feeling for him, if his heart beat a little faster when she was near just as hers did for him. "Nick..." she whispered.
Duet, Pt. 4
Ellie breathed a sigh of relief when Nick didn't respond, she couldn't believe how close she had come to telling him how she felt about him. Nick turned to look at her and smiled, "I wanted to thank you El...I know I've been working you really hard...it's just that this song means something very special to me and I know I've been acting like a perfectionist." Ellie smiled back at him, "It's ok...Adam told me all about it..." Nick looked a little surprised but nodded his head, "Good...I'm glad you understand..." They sat quietly, watching the sunset, before Nick steered the boat back to the dock. Nick climbed off the boat and held out his hand to Ellie. She felt her heart skip a beat when he took her hand and helped her onto shore, not letting go right away, "Thanks El...I really mean it..." and he bent to brush a soft kiss against her cheek, "Just another few days so we can shoot the video and then you're rid of me for good!" he teased, oblivious to the hurt that crept into her eyes as she contemplated not seeing him again, and took in the fact that he didn't seem to care that he wouldn't see her again either.
*A wrap party--10 days later*
The next few days were a blur of activity as they filmed the video and prepared for the release of the single. Brian sighed with relief as he looked over at Nick, who was engaged in an animated conversation with one of the production assistants working for the record company. He caught sight of Ellie and noticed that she was watching Nick with a somewhat unreadable expression on her face and he made his way over to her. "El...everything ok?" he asked, resting a hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him and he saw the tears in her eyes, "I'm fine Brian, really...I..um..I have to go okay?" Brian frowned as he watched Ellie disappear upstairs, a bad feeling gnawing at his insides.
A few moments later Nick came over to him, "Hey Rok, you seen Ellie? I wanted to talk to her but for some reason I haven't been able to catch up with her tonight. Any idea where she is?" Brian looked down, "I think she went upstairs to take a break.." he said reluctantly. Nick grinned, "Cool, I'll look for her up there then. Thanks Bri!" Brian shook his head as he watched Nick head upstairs, the bad feelings inside growing stronger and stronger, and he decided to look for Kevin to see what his take was on things.
*Upstairs*
Nick knocked on the door of the office, spotting Ellie sitting staring out the window. She looked up at him and he was shocked to see that she had been crying. "El? What's going on?" he asked, crouching down next to her. She shook her head, "Nothing...I guess I'm just sad that we're all done... that's all." Nick smiled and gently wiped away her tears with his thumb but it was too much for her as she pushed his hand away and jumped up, "You don't even care that we're not going to see each other again do you?? The job's all done and now you'll just go on with your life as if I never existed!" Nick looked at her in surprise, not understanding her outburst, "El...I don't understand...you're my friend, it's not as if we'll never talk again..." Ellie shook her head, "You just don't get it Nick, I don't want to be your friend." She saw the hurt and confusion reflected in his eyes and reached out to him, "No, Nick, you don't understand, I want more than that, I want you to love me." She gasped as she saw the look that came over Nick's face. He stared at her in shock, "No...no, no, no" and then he ran from the room, passing Kevin and Brian on the stairs as he ran out the door to his car. Kevin and Brian just looked at each other stunned, and then they saw Ellie, her face tear-streaked, coming from the same direction as Nick. "Oh god..." Brian said, looking at Kevin. Kevin looked at Brian, "I'll go after him, you talk to Ellie."
*Later, at the studio*
Kevin stalked over to Adam, his face red with anger, "You didn't fucking tell her did you Adam? You didn't tell her about Nick. Why???" he yelled, grabbing Adam by the collar of his shirt. Adam shrugged, "I tried, I just never got the chance, and then I thought it would play nicely in the song if she had a crush...what was the harm?" Kevin looked at him, "You fucking asshole, you did this for Ellie's career?? Nick is out there, god knows where, Ellie's devastated, and you ask me that? His wife died less than a year ago Adam, my god, you should have told her!!" "Told me what??" Ellie said, having overheard only the last few words as she entered the room. Kevin looked over at Brian who shook his head and shook his own head in return to indicate that he had not been successful in finding Nick. "I ask you again, told me what Adam?" Ellie said again, her voice starting to rise. Brian interrupted, "El...Nick is...was married...his wife died of cancer just under a year ago...the song...he wrote it for her..." his voice trailed off as he saw Ellie's face completely drain of color.
*Much later that night--Brian's house*
Brian paced restlessly in his living room, occasionally picking up the phone to make sure it hadn't died in the storm that raged outside, the rain pelting down on the roof. "Dammit Kev, where is he?? It scares the shit out of me thinking about him out there in this storm..." Kevin said nothing, as he wondered to himself if he had completely overestimated Nick's ability to handle this new trauma.
*Meanwhile--at Kevin's house*
Rachel heard the doorbell ring and hurried downstairs, instinct telling her who it was. She pulled open the door to reveal a soaking wet Nick, his eyes red and puffy, his body shivering with cold. "Oh my god, Nicky, come in...I am so glad to see you...we've been so worried about you. Brian and Kev are over at Brian's house hoping you'd show up there..." she trailed off as she saw the look on Nick's face and, ignoring how wet he was she gathered him into her arms and held him as he began to sob again.