Duet, Pt. 5
Nick shivered against her as he cried, feeling like his world had turned upside down again in just a few hours. When he finally stopped sobbing Rachel led him to the guestroom and found some clothes that he had left there after his last visit, "Nicky, go take a hot shower and change your clothes ok? I'm going to call Kev and Brian and tell them you're here." Nick nodded, and then looked at her, his tear-stained face making her heart ache, "Ask him to come home, please? I need him." "I'll tell them to get here as soon as they can," she responded and turned to walk out of the room, only to be stopped by Nick. "Not Bri, just Kevin...I don't wanna talk to Bri right now...please Rae..." Rachel smiled and kissed him on the cheek, "Take your shower Nicky..."
Downstairs she picked up the phone and dialed Brian's house. Not surprisingly Brian picked it up on the first ring, "Frack??" Rachel sighed, she'd been hoping Kevin would answer, "No Bri, it's Rae...Nicky's here. He's soaked and miserable, but he's ok, well, at least physically..." "Oh thank god, we'll be there as soon as we can!" "No, wait, Brian, he...uh...Nick doesn't want you to come over right now...he just wants Kevin...I'm sorry hun." There was silence on the other end as Brian digested what she had said, "I suppose that's my own fault...I shouldn't have said what I did...I'll let Kev know..." They hung up and Rachel went to make Nick some hot chocolate, pouring a generous helping of Jack Daniels into it for medicinal purposes. She knocked on the door to the guestroom and heard Nick's soft response. He was lying on top of the covers in his dry clothes, still shivering. Rachel took one look at him and put the cup she was holding down on the bedside table, "Sweetie, let's get you under the covers and warmed up. Did the shower help any?" Nick nodded and did as he was told, drinking the hot chocolate down even as he grimaced at the taste of the whiskey. "You try and get some sleep. Kev'll look in on you when he gets here ok?" Nick nodded and lay back, his eyes closed. Rachel brushed the damp hair off his forehead and stayed with him until he fell into an exhausted sleep. She was just walking into the kitchen when she heard Kev's key turn in the lock and she went into the living room to greet him.
In his own way he looked almost as bereft as Nick, and she went up to him, hugging him tightly against her. "Hey baby..how is he?" Kevin asked, planting a kiss on her forehead, grateful that she had been home to help Nick. Rae brought Kevin over to the couch and made him sit down next to her, "He's sleeping now...god Kev, it was awful seeing him like that...I can't even imagine what he was like when Laura died..." Kevin smiled grimly, "I'm so glad you insisted on staying here...how did you know?" Rachel smiled, "You know me and Nick, we seem to read each other's minds sometimes, he's the little brother I always wanted..." Kevin nodded, "Yeah...god, he's so young..he shouldn't be going through this...I don't think he had ANY idea that Ellie was interested in him...could this have come at a worse time for him?" he asked rhetorically. "How is Ellie" Rachel asked. Kevin ran his fingers distractedly through his hair, "I don't really know...I thought she was going to kill Adam for not telling her about Nick...and then she thought about Nick and went to pieces..she's convinced that Nick will NEVER want to see her or speak to her again. Brian and I didn't want to tell her that Nick was missing...she was enough of a mess without hearing that..." "Howie made sure she got back to her hotel room okay, and I'll check on her in the morning. That reminds me, I hope Brian remembered to call Howie and AJ..." Sighing heavily, Kevin got up, "I'm gonna go check on him ok?" Rachel nodded and kissed him softly, watching him walk up the stairs to the guestroom.
"Nicky?" Kevin said softly as he pushed open the door. Nick was sleeping restlessly, his limbs moving and the occasional word tumbling from his lips. Kevin sat down at the side of the bed and shook Nick gently awake. Nick opened his blue eyes to see Kevin watching him, and the look on his face almost made Kevin lose it. "It's gonna be ok little man," he said softly as he pulled his little brother into a hug. Nick said nothing, but Kevin could feel Nick's body shaking in his embrace. When Nick pulled away he looked at Kevin, his eyes shadowed with pain, "Oh god Kevvy...what do I do now? I didn't mean for El...I never meant for her to like me and god, Laur's not even been gone a year and what she must be thinking..." the words tumbled out, almost too fast for Kevin to understand. Kevin ruffled Nick's hair, "Shhhh...Nick you have no control over how Ellie feels about you...Adam never told her about Laura...all he told her was about you having been sick. He wanted Ellie to have feelings for you because he knew it would make the song even better. She understands now, I'm sure she does..." Nick shook his head, "No, you don't understand Kev...I think I feel something for her...how can I do that to Laura? How???"
Duet, Pt. 6
Kevin's eyes widened as he took in Nick's words, and he found himself unable to speak, terrified of somehow saying the wrong thing. Part of him wanted to grin from ear to ear at the news, the other part of him knew that this had to be tearing Nick apart. Nick looked up at him, misinterpreting the look on his face for one of disapproval, "Oh god..." he whispered, trying to get out of the bed, suddenly desperate to get away from Kevin. Kevin grabbed his arm, "Nicky...wait, you got me all wrong..." Nick shook his hand off, "No...I want...I have to get out of here..." Kevin grabbed his shoulders, "No! Nick I think it's wonderful that you have feelings for Ellie. You're only 20, you're too young to have given up on love already. Laura would want this for you...the three of us spent so much time together her last months, I KNOW she would want this for you." Nick shook his head slowly and then he looked at Kevin, "I don't want this Kev...I don't want to feel things for her." Kevin sighed, "Oh Nick...it's gonna be okay buddy...I promise you it will. Right now you need to get some sleep...you can't possibly be thinking straight after the day you've had." Nick climbed back into the bed, moving as if he was some kind of robot, wanting so badly to block out the pain he was feeling in his heart. Kevin patted him on his shoulder, "We'll talk some more in the morning ok?" Nick trembled, "I'm so scared..." he whispered. Kevin felt his heart constrict, "I'll see you in a few. Get some sleep little man..."
Kevin's heart was heavy as he walked into the room he shared with Rachel. She was still awake despite the lateness of the hour and her heart sank as she took in the look on Kevin's face, "What happened? Is he ok?" Kevin undressed and climbed into the bed with her, letting her pull him close so his head rested on her stomach. "Rae...I don't know...he has feelings for El..it's part of what freaked him out so bad earlier." Rachel said nothing, waiting for Kevin to finish, "I...I don't think I've seen him this upset since Laur died...he shut down for so long and now he's starting to come alive again and it's killing him. I keep telling Bri that Nick is stronger than he seems sometimes but...Rae what if I'm wrong? You didn't see what he was like when she died...he was much better by the time you met." Despite her fears Rachel smiled, thinking of the fender bender that had led to her getting to know Nick and, then to her meeting and falling in love with Kevin. She ran her fingers through Kevin's hair, hoping to comfort him, "We should both get some sleep...maybe things will look different in the morning." Even as she said the words she knew she was wrong.
*The next morning*
Kevin was on the phone, "Can't this wait....I really need to stick around here this morning???" He sighed distractedly, "Fine...ok...I'll be right there." Kevin looked at Rachel, "Some kind of emergency at the studio. I really wanted to be here when he woke up. Shit." Rae wrapped her arms around him, "I'm not going anywhere, besides, Nick may sleep for hours yet." Kevin turned around so he could see her face,"Have I told you recently how much I love you?" Rachel smiled, "Go on and do what you have to do. I'll keep an eye on Nicky."
Kevin hadn't been gone more than twenty minutes when Rae heard Nick come downstairs. He walked into the kitchen and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out at how bad he looked, dark circles under his eyes, his face unnaturally pale except for two high spots of color on his cheekbones, his hair dull and dishevelled. "Nicky...why are you up already...you should go back to bed..." she said, walking over to him to give him a hug. Nick put his hands up to stop her from coming closer, "Don't..." Rae stopped, "Nick?" He looked at her and she felt like her heart was breaking, "I can't...I have to go, ok?" Rachel rushed over and grabbed his arm, "No it's not ok...you're not going anywhere until I make sure you're all right, and you are NOT all right." Nick pulled himself loose, "I'm fine...I just need to be by myself." "That's the last thing you need, you have friends and family who love you and want to be here for you...don't shut us out." Nick looked at her, the expression on his face distraught, "Please Rae..." Rachel shook her head and pulled Nick into a hug, "I won't let you leave..you should know that by now. Running away isn't going to help anything. Nick shook his head, "I'm sorry Rae...I have to do this," and he pulled her arms from around him and pushed her away, turning away quickly and walking out of the kitchen and Kevin's house before Rachel could even react.