Chloe cringed at the mention of her sweet little sister, wondering if Amber would ever have to suffer through this sort of pain.
"OK," she replied weakly.
Within a few seconds, Chloe was alone with her thoughts again, on the cold tile floor of the bathroom. She tilted her head backward against the wall, closed her eyes, and drifted back inside herself.
Her thoughts went to Nick again, where they always seemed to go if she let them fly free. She smiled a bit as Nick’s figure appeared behind her eyelids, beckoning her to him. His lips moved, and Chloe concentrated.
"I live in your heart baby. Find me soon, I miss you."
Chloe’s heart ached, yearning to feel his embrace just one more time. I miss you too Nick, she thought frantically. I miss you so much.
The ringing of the phone broke into her thoughts, much like the cold wind of Toronto’s September. Angrily, Chloe opened her eyes and reached for the cordless she’d brought into the bathroom with her, just in case this sort of inconvenience were to come up. "Hello?" she whispered, her throat hoarse.
"Hey Clo, it’s Jen!"
Chloe groaned inwardly, detesting the thought of feigning happiness for a friend she didn’t even like when she felt worse than death. "Hi," she replied sullenly.
Jen seemed oblivious to her misery, and she continued on, her tone turning sarcastic. "I heard you’re going to LA next week."
Chloe’s eyes widened. "When did you hear that?" she demanded.
"Shanna let it slip," Jen replied simply. "She said you’re taking her with you to an audition in LA for some teeny bopper band music video!" She laughed. "Sounds like a cheesy way to pass the time."
Chloe felt anger rise within her, but she forced herself to suppress it. "Yes," she answered. "A modeling scout saw me in the show on Saturday, and wants me to come down for an audition. It’s pretty cool to me."
Jen laughed again, ridiculously obnoxious. "And you’re taking Shanna over me?" she went on, pretending to be offended.
"I have to take someone over 18. You’re only 17 too, Jen."
Jen scoffed. "Fine then!" she retorted. She was only playing around, but it was starting to make Chloe mad.
"Look, Jen, I gotta go," she said suddenly. She had to end this conversation before she blew up at her best friend.
"Oh, OK. I’ll see you in school tomorrow then!"
"Sure," Chloe replied, fully intending to see the least of Jen as she could the next day. "See ya."
Chloe turned off the phone and set it down beside her. Closing her eyes again, she tried to release herself of the anger Jen had caused her. I hate that girl, she thought, trembling with hostility. My own best friend, and I can’t stand her.
Chloe shook her head, forcing herself to stay calm. Think about the video, she demanded of herself. Think of finally meeting Nick. She smiled faintly, picturing herself when she was finally faced with her angel. It was an incomprehensible feeling of happiness, and Chloe wanted to experience it to its fullest extent. I wonder if Nick Carter could be anything like I want him to be, she thought hesitantly. She knew her own heart, and if it caught onto something even remotely resembling love, it threw itself into it without a backward glance. But she couldn’t help smiling, thinking that she actually might be able to find that perfect person inside of the real Nick Carter. Never say never, she reminded herself after a few minutes. Who knows…he’s got to have some sort of physical appearance.
********************************************************************** "Clo, whaddaya think? I’ve narrowed it down to either the two-piece floral, or the one piece sports suit."
Chloe giggled and fell backwards on Shanna’s bed. It was Thursday evening, and she’d been at her friend’s house for the past three hours, packing for their trip. Shanna had spent the last 20 minutes trying to decide which bathing suit to pack, driving Chloe up the wall. She hated bathing suits. "I honestly have no idea, Shan," she replied, staring up at the ceiling. "I don’t even know if we’ll have time to go swimming in LA!"
"Cloooooooo…." Shanna whined. "C’mon, help me out here! We’re gonna be in California for a whole week, and you expect to NOT go swimming? Of course we’ll have time!" She sighed, and threw both bathing suits over her shoulder.
"OK, OK, bring the two-piece," Chloe said finally. "But don’t get mad at me if it stays buried in the bottom of your suitcase for a week."
Shanna laughed, and ran to pick up the thrown suit. Stuffing it into her already overflowing suitcase, she said, "Ya know, Clo, you should bring one too. What if the audition has something to do with water?"
"Aww, damnit, you’re right." Chloe groaned loudly, and closed her eyes. "I haven’t been swimming in so long, I don’t think I even have a suit that fits me!"
"Here, try on this other bikini," Shanna replied, throwing a black crochet suit onto the bed. "You can use my bathroom."
Chloe sighed, wanting more than anything to not try on the suit. "It’s OK…" she started to protest.
"Try it on!" Shanna demanded. "And I wanna see it, so hurry!"
Chloe grimaced, but got up off the bed. "OK," she agreed sullenly, making her way into the room’s adjoining bathroom and closing the door behind her. It didn’t take long for Shanna to start up her CD Player, and soon Chloe heard the lyrics for If I Don’t Have You fill the room.
She froze, closing her eyes, and imagining a video for this song. I could be in this video… She grinned, remembering how Emily had told her that the Boys were making a video to a song from an old album just because it was one of their favorites. She couldn’t even imagine a scene for the video, it was too mind boggling. She had the opportunity to be in a professional music video with the Boys she’d been watching on TV for the past few years!
"Hey, Clo, hurry it up!!" Shanna called from the bedroom. "I’ve got more packing to do, and I need your help!"
Chloe jolted back to reality, finding herself standing square in front of the mirror. "I’m coming!" she shouted back, quickly stripping. It didn’t take her long to pull on the bikini, and glance at her appearance. Chloe was extremely thin. Her stomach, though not yet concave, was flat, her hips non-existent. She had no figure in the bathing suit whatsoever, and she struggled to pull the waistband up over her jutting hip bones to give the illusion of shape. Awkward and self-conscious, she opened the bathroom door and stepped into Shanna’s bedroom. Her ears filled instantly with Nick’s angelic voice. ‘So I’m begging you, please. Bring your sweet love back to me…’
Shanna just stared open-mouthed at her grotesquely thin friend for a good ten seconds. "Omigod…" she whispered finally, her hand raising slowly to cover her mouth. "Chloe, what have you done to yourself?"
********************************************************************** "Chloe, sweetheart, you take care of yourself, you hear me?"
Chloe smiled impatiently at her father, and reluctantly gave him a hug. The noise of the airport drowned out what he said next, but Chloe could have cared less. She couldn’t wait to get on the plane. "I will, Dad," she promised.
Emily was present too, standing aloof and off to the side. "Have a good time," she said in a condescending tone, her arms crossed defensively over her front. She was obviously angry that Shanna was the one going to California instead of her. "Remember that I was the one that got you here. Don’t eat too much."
Chloe nodded, swallowing hard. She told herself she’d made a good decision to bring Shanna with her over Emily. "See you in a week, Emily."
"Chloe?"
Chloe looked down to see her sister Amber smiling at her. "Yes, sweetie?" she asked, kneeling down to Amber’s level.
"Will you tell Brian I love him?"
Chloe giggled at her 10-year old sister’s request. "You bet I will," she promised, leaning forward to kiss Amber on the cheek. "I’ll even get you his autograph."Amber’s eyes lit up and she threw her arms around Chloe’s thin shoulders. "I can’t wait for you to come home!" she exclaimed.
"I’ll phone you as soon as I get to LA, OK?"
"OK. Bye, Chloe."
"Bye sweetheart."
Shanna’s voice broke in. "C’mon Clo, our plane’s boarding now!" She hid a deep concern for Chloe’s health in her voice behind a mask of excitement.
Chloe turned to see Shanna waving and yelling at her from the gate. She took a deep breath, and pivoted back to wave at her family. "See y’all in a week! Wish me luck!"
Walking towards Shanna, Chloe heard a distinct voice whispering in her ear. "You’re getting closer, baby."
She knew that voice.
