Short Story: When I Remember When

"Come on bus stop! If I have to sit here 30 seconds longer I'm going to scream." Ashley said getting eager to jump off the bus.

We had been away on a school trip for the past three weeks on a road trip across America and the bus rides kept getting longer and worse as we went along. Everytime we got on we prayed it would stop again to let us off. The trip itself wasn't too bad. It could've been worse but I was there with 3 of my best friends, Ashley, Mandi, and Kristin. We were just your average group of 17 year old girls. Wild, Wacky, Spontaneous, Sweet, Innocent, Flirtatious girls, that was us. While we were on this little class trip we had snuck out of our hotel room and out to some clubs nearby, under 18 clubs that is since our parents had all found out about our fake id's and took them away. But the clubs we went to were always swinging. Bright lights, killer tunes, and hot guys galore. We had acquired numbers from guys in California to New York to Tennessee to back home in Florida. Guys named, Brad, Chad, Chris and Matt. Jake, Joe, Scott and Chance but my heart had always been set on my dearest friend.

"Oh my god, Jen, look the bus. It's stopping at McDonalds! We're free!" Ashley screamed shaking my arm.

"Ashley. It's ok. It really is! Just calm down we'll go inside and get something to eat and then we're on our way HOME." I said calming her down.

"Ok this bus is just making me really sick. Let's get out of here." She said standing up only a short moment after the bus stopped. I rolled my eyes and laughed with Kristin and Mandi as we tried to catch up with Ashley who had ran off of the bus.

Mandi, Kristin, Ashley and myself ordered a drunk and some fries and sat down at a table talking about how great it would be to get home. I really missed the normal life of sleeping in on Saturday's and hanging out at my friend's house watching movies and just being wacko to the max. But instead I was stuck on a school trip getting up at 7 every morning. At least one thing was good about this school trip. It took away 3 of the last 5 weeks of school until I would be graduating from there forever.

It was about 5 p.m. and Mrs. Long was yelling at us to get back on the bus. We all whined but obeyed and climbed up the steps of the too familiar bus once again for the last 5 hours of our journey home. Luckily our bus was equipped with TV's and a VCR so we were able to watch Austin Powers, The Wedding Singer, and some other funny flics on the way home. I found myself dozing off quite a few times though on the way home due to the smooth movement of the bus. The time had came we were home at last. We all piled off the bus as quickly as possible grabbed our luggage and met up with our rides. My mom was waiting for me on the sidewalk. She helped me carry the bags to the van and we drove the short 15 minutes back to home sweet home.

"Here." my mom said handing me a cup of coffee as she joined me in the living room. It was nearing 11 p.m. and I was exhausted but I decided I would stay up a little while longer to tell my mom about my trip. We talked and talked for about an hour about all the adventures we had encountered.

"So did you get into any trouble?" my mom questioned.

"Me? Trouble? Certainly I did! We snuck off like almost every night to clubs and we met some really sweet guys. I'll have to show you the book I made with numbers and e-mail addresses of all these guys." I said with a smile.

"What about me?" I heard a familiar voice say from behind me. I thought about who it was but I couldn't quite figure it out. Then he peeked around the edge of the couch.

"Oh my god." I said putting my cup down on the table and jumping up to give him a hug. "Lance, what are you doing here? You're not suppose to be here. You were on tour with the guys."

" We finished the tour about a week ago and I just got back 2 days ago." he said. Lance was like my big brother but I had always loved him in more than a brotherly way but I guess he had never saw through me. When he was home he'd always stayed at my house in his little room we had designated for him for a few days here and there. He had been coming over since the time he was about 7 because our parents had been best friends in high school and were always getting together. "So you met a lot of guys huh?" He asked as he sat down on the couch next to where I was sitting. I sat back down. "Yea, a lot but none as great as you." I joked.

"You know what. I need to get a shower I'll be back in like 15 minutes." he said leaving the room.

"Ok don't leave me waiting too long! I might just miss you." I said giving him a smile. We were constantly flirting with each other and it was so much fun sometimes. He just smiled back and left the room.

"Alright sweetie well I better be getting to bed. We've gotta get out of here early tomorrow to get you your dress for the wedding." my mom said.

"Wedding? Who is getting married?" I questioned.

"Lance. Sunday at 2 p.m." my heart dropped past my feet I couldn't believe it. I didn't even know he was dating anybody.

"Oh, whatever, fine I'll be up early then. Night." I said to my mom as she left the room.

The tears gathered in my eyes and my lip quivered. I was waiting for someone to wake me up but it wasn't happening. He couldn't be getting married! He only had to wait 2 more years. Not even that and we could've gotten married. He always said when I was 19 he'd marry me. I should've known he wasn't serious. My mom told me before she left he was marrying some skank named Emily. I didn't know her yet and frankly I didn't care to. I wasn't going to go to that wedding they would have to tie me to a truck and drag me there.

"Oh Jen." my mom said peeking thru the doorway. "Could you go set the clock in Lance's room he was having trouble with it earlier."

"I'm not stepping close to his room." I said with my back to her.

"Oh yes you will. Now do it, I don't want anymore lip from you."

I got up and walked to his room where he was laying on the bed watching TV.

"There's my girl." he said when I walked in.

"Where?" I asked in a angered tone.

"You duh. What's wrong?" he said sitting up.

"Nothing is wrong with me. My mom said I had to come set your clock. What's wrong with you?" I said.

"Not a thing. I guess you're just a little tired."

"Yea that must be it."

"So what time is it then?"

"It's 11:35."

"Oh ok. I wish it was 2 o'clock Sunday." he smiled looking at the TV.

"Shut up!!!" I yelled as I ran out of the room and down to my own bedroom and cried myself to sleep.

The following morning I slept, slept, slept. I had been too tired from my trip and too upset from the horrible (well for me anyways) news. Despite numerous attempts I wouldn't budge. I just put a pillow over my head and hid under the covers. Around noon I heard someone creeping down the steps, I ignored it knowing it was just my mom trying to get me up again. But to my surprise no one came in, well at least I thought no one did. If you have the talent you can lay down on my bed and not make it creek.

"I think you need to get up now." Lance said lifting the pillow up from over my face and looking directly into my eyes.

"I really don't think so. I'm just going to stay here. My life sucks. I'm never leaving this bed."

"Ok fine. I guess I'm just going to have to stay here and talk and bug you till you decide to get up." he said with a serious face but I knew he was just playing.

"Suit yourself. There is lots to do. Have fun." I said pulling the pillow back over my head.

"Hope you won't mind when we cram all these people in your house for a concert and then Joey, Justin, JC, and Chris are going to be in here for rehearsal."

"Like I said I don't care sounds good to me." I muttered from underneath the pillow.

"Jen, come on please? I've got to go to rehearsal in like 30 minutes and thought you and I could hang out today. You can go to rehearsal with me and then you me and the guys go out to dinner and come back here and watch a movie. But I guess since you're going to be staying here all day..." he said as he got up and started to leave.

I jumped out of bed, "Ok it's a date. I'll be ready in 15 minutes. Get ready for the world record in this house." I said pushing him out the door and running to my bathroom and quickly dressing. I flung open the door and was ready to run out but Lance was already standing there.

"14:38 very impressive." he said looking at his watch.

"Thanks, now lets go."

At the studio we were greeted by the guys who were just sitting down relaxing for awhile.

"Hey Lance. Well who is this fine woman you have here with you." Joey asked of course joking like always.

"I dunno." JC said going along. "She looks familiar but I can't put a name with the face."

"Oh gee don't tell me you don't remember me. Come on it's me Jen." I said.

"Hmm...Jen. Sound familiar to you Joey?"

"Yeah but the Jen I'm thinking of is younger than that woman."

"Joey it's me. I'm that Jen."

"No way. It's been forever." he said getting up and hugging me.

"4 months. It's hardly forever."

"I know but you have changed."

"Let's see I went on a trip for 3 weeks and snuck out and partied every night and I'm turning 18 next Thursday, you're right I have changed."

"You're turning 18 already? You're joking! So you're gonna finally hook up with me then right?"

"I'll think about it." I said with a smirk. Joey had always been attractive to me and definitely a sweetheart but I wasn't giving up on Lance yet.

The guys went through a long, strenuous rehearsal for about 2 hours. They "freshened up" and an hour after rehearsal we all went out to eat at a local pizzeria.

"So what are we going to do now." Joey said as we all walked out of the pizza shop.

"Well how bout we all go back to my place and watch some TV or something."

They all agreed and we got in the car and drove back to my house.

"Ok you guys pick what we watch I said tossing the remote to the cluster the guys were in. They all fought for it and Joey got control.

"Ok Joey pick something fairly descent." I said as he flipped thru the channels.

"Dammit there isn't anything on." he said handing JC the remote.

"Joey come on there has to be something! Just cause there isn't any porn on doesn't mean there isn't anything on. And no we're not ordering you any porn either."

"Man come on. Well then how about we have our own free porn right now."

"You and me? Right here? right now?"

"Yea you and me right now. Not right here though. They gotta pay to play."

"I'm in." I said as Joey pulled me off and we started to walk to my room.

Everyone of course thought we were joking but we weren't laughing. Lance got up and walked up to us. "No, no you two. You're not coming near her Joey. And besides that's not legal yet." he said grabbing my hand and sitting me back on the couch.

"Well and who do you think you are?" I said arrogantly.

"One of your best friends who isn't going to let you mess up your life that quickly."

"Lance for God's sake give me a break. Why do you care so much? Worry about yourself and the mistakes you make! I don't need you watching out for me I can handle myself."

"Jen, I'm sorry. You and me are just really tight I don't want you making mistakes. Listen I'll be back in 15 minutes I'm going to get a shower."

"Listen I'm sorry. I guess I'm still just exhausted and trying to get use to being home again. Hurry back." I said.

Forty-five minutes had passed and Lance wasn't back yet. My mom came down to say goodnight to me and the others around that time.

"Mom, is Lance done his shower yet?"

"He's been done for at least a half an hour. He went to talk to Emily and then went to bed."

"Woah, woah, hold up? She is in MY house? You're kidding me?"

"No she is really here. Didn't you meet her yet? She such a sweetheart. Well anyways good night kids."

"Night." everyone except me said.

"That asshole. That no good piece of shit asshole."

"Who?" JC asked.

"Lance. He says he's coming back but then I find out that no good fucking skank is in my house and he goes and sees her and goes to bed? The nerve!" I shouted. Tears of anger were ready to fall but I held back this time.

"Why are you so mad about that? Why don't you like Emily? You haven't met her you should be happy for Lance I mean it's not like you're in lov ...." I looked over at JC and then the tears fell. "Oh my, you like him more than as a best friend don't you?" I simply nodded.

"I love him JC. And not just as a friend! He has been there for me and every guy I ever liked was because there was something inside of them that reminded me of him. I guess it's because he knows me inside and out and... nevermind I don't make any sense. Plus he's got Emily, some girl I never heard about till I came back, now."

"You make a lot of sense Jen." Justin said. "Why didn't you ever tell him?"

"I have. But you know we've always joked about getting married when I was 19 and all that stuff. I never thought of it as that deep of a joke. I thought he knew how I felt."

" Well he didn't. " Joey interrupted. "He's only known Emily for about a month and a half and I know he doesn't know anything about her compared to what he knows about you. I know he does love you Jen. not only as a friend. Back about 2 months ago when we were out on tour he was so lonely and you know he didn't know you liked him more. He always thought it was a joke like you said but all along he wanted to go out with you but didn't want to try because he thought it would ruin your friendship."

"Exactly." JC said again. "So he moved on and found Emily and I think he has been forced to love her so he didn't have to think about you. That's why he's so protective because he doesn't want anyone taking his place in your life."

"Well it's all too late now." I said. "He's marrying her and making a huge mistake but I can't say anything to him. He seems happy now. OH well time for me to move on! I'm getting myself a date to this dance tomorrow night and I'm moving on. Now who should I ask?" I said to myself as I grabbed the phonebook.

"I'll take you." Joey said.

"Awesome. I've got myself an awesome date who isn't Lance! Thanks Joey."

"No problem. Listen we've got to go now what time should I pick you up tomorrow?"

"How about 4, that'll be good. And we can meet up over at Mandi's house with Kristin and Ashley and we're all going out to dinner too. "

"Ok see you at 4. Don't blow up at Lance anymore ok."

"I'll try. Thanks you guys! BYE" I said showing them to the door. I went to my room and got some sleep but failed so at 8 am I woke up and went to the living room and flipped on Titanic . At the same time I took some paper from my notebook laying nearby and a pen and began to write a note to myself to add to my memory book..... Never Gonna Get Him

"Well here I am on another lonely day since I've returned from my trip. Makes me kinda want to go back. At least then I wouldn't be feeling like my whole life has totally blown up in my face like it has these days since I've been back. My best friend since childhood, the one I could always turn to, cry on his shoulder, talk to about anything and I mean anything. has found a life without me in it. He was always there acting as the brother I didn't have.

At one point in time having him as a brother would've been a dream come true. Now it's all I have of him. I go away without his protection around me for weeks at a time. Change into what I really was inside, realizing my true feelings. Then I come home and find that he too has changed. Changed into something I hoped I would never see. Him "in love" with some strange woman I had never heard of. Someone other than me was in his heart. All the years of jokes/promises of marriage between me and my best friend vanished into thin air. I lost the battle, not really a battle but the outcome, I guess the best woman wins and sadly again that's not me. I still don't see how she is better. The guys told me about her. She put on this act for Lance to get him to like her and she caught him, hook, line, and sinker. Little miss "I'm a virgin" and haven't done anything wrong, hah! What a laugh! According to JC, Emily told them she's been with 25 men in the past year, she has been treated for 2 STD's, was pregnant 2 times and had them both aborted, not to mention she still has another man in her life which she has no intention of leaving. I mean I'm sitting here knowing all this and can't tell my best friend who is about to marry this witch what she is really made of. If I tell him it makes me seem selfish and like a liar because she'll deny it. Then if I don't he'll find out once it's too late and will be heartbroken. What am I to do?

How could I have been so foolish to think that my best friend could ever be more than what he was. I guess this is another test the road of life has put before me. To surpass the heartache and devastation of having to actually move on. My life is forever changed. I have no reason to be sweet little me anymore, no one appreciates sweetness and innocence I've gotta be aggressive and fight and get myself a real man and get with the program and quit daydreaming.

I guess God saw this as a sin for me to love my best friend but I saw it as the perfect relationship. We've known each other since childhood, know everything about each other and can communicate so well with one another. But I guess there is some hidden criteria I don't know about.

My first step to getting over him is going to the dance with Joey tonight. Sure he's a little older than me but he seems really sweet and at least I know he's interested. Maybe this will work out for the best and Joey is the man of my dreams or nightmares.

Well the good part in the movie is coming up so I'm going to go now and then get ready for the dance tonight. Wish me all the luck. And just keep in mind that no matter what my heart will always say "I Love You Lance." :*0(

~Jen

I folded the notebook paper in half and placed it on top of my notebook beside the chair for me to take to my room. Moments later Lance walked into the room and sat down beside me.

"Hey what are you doing up so early?" Lance asked.

"I don't know, couldn't really sleep. I've had a lot on my mind and it just won't leave me alone. Plus I figured this movie would help me deal with what I'm going through. What about you? What happened last night?"

"Oh well I decided to get some sleep I've got some hectic days coming up you know. I hope you're going to be there with me the whole time. I really want you there tomorrow."

"Umm... I'm sorry. I've got plans I...I can't come. Big dance tonight and Joey and I are going to a huge afterparty at my friend Erik's house and you know how those things work, lots of alcohol and sex so I'd be so out of it and probably be causing a nasty scene with my breaking hang over. I don't want to ruin your special day." I said as tears welled up in my eyes. "Excuse me I need to lay down in my room for awhile." I excused myself and went to my room.

Back in the living room Lance was speechless. What went wrong? He thought I was happy for him and would be there to support him but that all soon was nothing but a lie.

"What's this?" He asked himself as he picked up my folded paper with my thoughts on it and began to read. He shook his head with disbelief that I had felt like this for years and had never told him and worse that Emily had lied to him. When he finished he folded the paper back up and put it back in its original place.

After contemplating what to do he got up and walked to my door where he slowly turned the handle to crack the door. I knew he was there but I pretended to sleep.

"I'll talk to her later I guess. I've gotta talk to Emily though first." he mumbled to himself as he went upstairs where my mom and dad sat drinking coffee and reading the paper.

"Did Emily already leave for work?" he asked.

"Yea about 10 minutes ago, why?" my mom asked.

"Something is wrong. I have to talk to her immediately."

"What is it?"

"I'll let you guys know once I ask her a few questions. She gets off for lunch at 12:30 and she's 45 minutes away so I'll leave at around 11:45 and go talk to her." he went to his room cleaned up got dressed and did some important work before leaving to go meet up with Emily.

Lance drove and met up with Emily right as she was walking out of the office doors.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"We need to talk, NOW." he said firmly.

"Sure, lets go sit over there." She pointed to a bench over in the park next to the office. The two sat down and Lance began.

"First off I have a lot to say so you listen then you can talk."

"I know you've lied to me. I know about all the lies and how you're still seeing someone you have some nerve. I thought I loved you but you know what I realized? I despise you. I never did love you either, I said it but realize now I didn't feel it. The wedding is over I'm not marrying you."

"Excuse me? The wedding is tomorrow and you are going to cancel it? And how do you know about these 'lies' huh? Give me proof."

"I came across it by accident this morning reading one of Jen's paper's apparently you told the guys some stuff they weren't suppose to tell me?"

"Yea well it's my past and you are my future."

"No, I'm the past now. When you're done here you go back to her house get your things and get out I don't want to see you ever again." with that he got up and walked away. Emily knew she had lost him for good at this point so she didn't even try to run after him.

Lance was upset that after all the hard work they put into pulling a wedding together it was all over because he found out 24 hours before his wedding that his fiancee was to simply put it, a lying bitch. He decided he couldn't go home yet he had to be alone. He went to the park near her work and walked around the lake. There were happy couples everywhere, a couple in their 70's, 2 teenagers, even two ducks in the pond. He asked himself over and over how he could've missed all of Emily's flaws. Then he realized he was rushed into this relationship and pushed it too far in so little time.

After 2 hours of dazing off into the lake he got up and returned to his car and drove back to my house. Just as Joey and I were getting in the car and ready to pull out. Lance parked and quickly got his keys out. We waved goodbye as we started to pull out.

"Jen, stop I need to talk to you." he yelled as he walked down the driveway as we continued to pull out. We stopped the car momentarily.

"We've gotta go Lance, I'll talk to you tomorrow morning before you leave for the wedding. Bye" I yelled out the window.

"You don't understand I need to talk to you now."

"There is no time. We're going to be late. Listen if it's that important Joey and I should be home by 1. We'll talk then, please Lance I gotta go now though." I said sincerely.

"Ok, I'll be waiting." he turned around and his head hung to the ground. I just watched him and wondered what was wrong but we had no time to waste, Joey and I were off for a night of fun that hopefully would help settle my mind and give me a chance to learn to love someone else.

After only 2 or 3 minutes of driving we were at Mandi's house where I could tell by the cars in the driveway that Kristin and Ashley were already there. Mandi greeted us at the door. Then Ashley and I went upstairs to Mandi's bedroom.

"Oh my god Jen you got Joey to go with you, how did you pull that off?" Ashley asked as we worked on touching our make up and hair up while the others who were already done sat in the sitting room and talked.

"I just was talking to them and told them I had to get over my life sucking and go to the dance and I had to get a date and Joey offered. You know I really think he likes me."

"And of course you like him." Ashley said as she put her lipstick on and looked at me in the mirror and noticed I was looking down at the mascara I was holding in my hand with a glum look on my face. "Oh no you don't like him? How could you not like him?"

"No, I like him I mean he's sweet, cute, and he likes me in return but you know how much I love Lance."

"Well now that you mention Lance why didn't you bring him?"

"I didn't tell you but Lance is getting married tomorrow. So my luck has been driven away."

Ashley's jaw dropped. "Excuse me? He's getting married? And when did this bitch come into his life?"

"Oh you know while we were gone. And you know what the guys told me that Lance was like so in love with me and missed me so much while they were on tour but he always thought it was just friends between us so he moved on and found Emily. But according to the guys she's no jewel."

"No shit she's a whore I mean he knew her umm a month and they are getting hitched? Something isn't right there!"

"I know and I feel bad but I told Lance I wouldn't be at the wedding. I made up an excuse we would be going to a party after and that I'd probably cause a scene cause I'd have a hangover. It was lame but it worked. But he was like running after me when we were leaving about needing to talk and I said I would talk to him when I got home so now I'm wondering what he's got to say."

"He probably just wanted to convince you to come tomorrow again. Well listen I'm ready you're ready lets get this night started now!"

The 8 of us (Kristin, Mandi, Ashley, me, and our dates) took 2 separate cars and went to Red Lobster and at quarter to 7 we were on our way to the dance. The theme was traditional with simple balloons and streamers everywhere. The music was actually descent for once. Usually they would have far too much country music for all those red necks out there. I was having such a good time with Joey. It was bringing back the memories of clubbing with my friends on our school trip where we danced our asses off. But of course there was a good deal of slow songs too and we made sure to take advantage of every moment we could be together.

Back at my house Lance was getting sick of waiting to talk to me so he ran to his room and got on his tux that he was suppose to be wearing at his wedding tomorrow.

"I'll be back later." Lance said walking into the living room where my parents were sitting watching TV.

"Where are you going all decked out." my mom asked. He handed her my thoughts I had written down earlier and she read them. "Oh my" was all she could say.

"I talked to Emily and called the wedding off. I've got to talk to Jen now."

"Yea it sounds like you should. But Lance. Be careful I can tell she is still upset about losing you. So be understanding."

"I will" he said and smiled. He drove off and five minutes later found himself in my high school gym.

"This song goes out to all of you who have ever loved someone and are still looking back and trying to say goodbye." the DJ announced and the music started.

A single tear welled up in my eye. I was feeling every word in that song as if it was written for me. Joey heard me sniffle and pulled away.

"Are you ok Jen?" he asked.

I looked into his eyes and he looked into my now red puffy eyes then spoke up.

"It's Lance isn't it."

"Yea, sorry to be thinking about him but this song is too relevant."

"It's ok. I understand." he gave me a hug and tried as hard as he could to console me.

"Excuse me can I have this dance?" someone asked from behind me.

"Sure. You can help her more than I can now." Joey said

"Joey you can't just leave me with some stranger. I need you now." I said looking into his eyes. continued....

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