Danielle walked across the moon-lit parking lot, to where Justin was standing near the van.
"Hi," she said quietly.
"Hey."
"SoOoOoO. . . "
"We need to talk."
"Yeah, we do." Danielle hoped up on the hood of the van.
There was silence.
"Justin,"
"Yeah?" he said a little to quickly.
"I'm not exactly sure what we are going to solve here tonight, or what's even going to be said, but, I need you know know that I never ever cheated on you. Never."
"I know."
"You may know, but, do you really believe it?"
Justin starred at her long and hard. "Yeah," he finally answered. "I believe you."
Danielle took a deep breath. This was so hard. "Because. . I loved you so much. . .and I-"
"I loved you, too."
"I only had sex once, Justin. Once in my life. With you."
Justin nodded. "I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am. I don't think there are words to describe how sorry I am. Or how stupid I was. I just. . I realize everything I did to you was so wrong. I didn't for a long time, even though I had Joey reminding me every day what an idiot I am. But I realize now. And I'm trying to make things right."
"How?"
"I'm not sure. But I started by telling my mom."
"How'd she take it?"
"Better then I did. She was smart, and didn't disown me."
Danielle starred at the hood of the car.
"I'd like to pay child support. And I'd like to be in Noah's life."
"I've been thinking about it a lot the past couple days. I don't want my son growing up without a father. And I don't want to feel uncomfortable hanging around with my friends just because you're there. And lord knows we could use the money. But none of that can chance unless I know you have changed. Back to the person you were before I told you about Noah."
"I have. Do you know how I know?"
"How?"
"Because I'm still in love with you."
Danielle looked up at him, tears forming in her eyes. "Justin, please don't. Not now."
He looked hurt. "I'm sorry."
"This past year has been so hard. So incredibly hard. And I've missed you-us so much, but at the same time I still hated you. And I'm not sure I can ever trust you the way I used to."
"I'm willing to do anything you want to build that trust again."
"There's so much in Noah's life you've missed. He looks exactly like you. I can't even look at him without thinking of you. I always have a constant reminder of us. And I know that if you hadn't left he would have only brought us closer."
"He still can." Justin whispered.
"No. He can't Justin, he can't. You-you had my heart. I loved you more then imaginable, and you left, and now. . . there's a whole." she placed her hand over her heart. "It can't be filled again, because deep down I'll always remember what you did."
Justin starred at her. She looked so. . . lost. And confused. Silent tears fell from her eyes. His own heart was breaking. All he wanted to do was take her into his arms, and make everything better like he used to. But he couldn't do that now.
"God," he whispered. "What have I done?"
Danielle sniffled.
"I'm the biggest god damned loser on this entire planet, and I can't fix this. For once I can't just hold you and make everything go away. Because I want to so bad, but it's not gonna work."
She shook her head.
"What do I do?" he asked. "How do I make everything better?"
"I don't think you can." she whispered.
"That's what I was afraid of."
"But you can start by getting to know your son."
"My son? You're going to let me see him?"
She nodded.
Justin threw his arms around her. She flinched, and realizing he pulled away. "Thank you! I promise you won't regret this."
"I hope not."
Justin glanced at the dinner, into the large window. "Our food is ready. Let's go in."
"Give me a minute. I just need a second alone."
Justin nodded, and silently walked back inside.
Danielle climbed into the van and collapsed into a fit of sobs.
Part Seventeen
Home
Part Nineteen