"Bye!" JC called as Justin and Danielle pulled away. "Have a good time!"
Justin honked the horn in response, and continued down the road. As soon as they were out of sight, he went back inside, where Katie has just finished changing Noah's diaper and was washing her hands.
JC scooped Noah up off the floor where he had been toddling around and held him in his arms. "Hey big guy. What's going on in munchkin land, huh?"
Noah just starred at him.
Katie dried her hands on a towel, and brushed by JC, not saying a word. Not that she didn't want to, but it was more that she didn't know what to say.
She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.
JC followed her into the room. "Katie?"
She looked up at him. "Yeah?"
"Are you mad at me or something?"
"No." she replied. "I thought you were mad at me."
JC sat down next to her, and propped Noah up in his lap. "I'm not mad at you! I just thought. . I don't know what I thought. . . "
"Me either."
JC squeezed Katie's knew. "You know I love you, right?"
She nodded.
"Good." JC tilted his head to the side and moved his face closer and closer to Katie's, until-
"It's eight. Time for Noah to go to bed." Katie said in a rushed manor, moving out of JC's reach, and grabbing Noah from him.
"Katie-"
Katie gave him a warning look, and hurried into the nursery.
He sighed, and stood up walking down the hall to Noah's room. "Can we talk?"
"No now." Katie said, pulling off Noah's tiny shorts.
"Well, can I talk and you listen?"
Katie sighed, as she pulled Noah's shirt over his had. "Talk."
"I understand what your going through. I understand that what your going through is traumatic, but what I don't understand it why your pushing me away."
Katie laid Noah down in his crib and stroked his stomach, as she starred at the floor, silently avoiding eye contact.
"Talk to me, Katie!" JC cried.
She jumped, shocked at his tone of voice, but still refused to look up.
"I'm trying, Katie. I"m trying so hard to be here for you, and be understanding, but it's so hard. I see you there, and I want to take you in my arms and hold you, and kiss you, and just make everything all better, but I can't. You don't let me. And that kills me."
Tears were now dripping down her cheeks, and she looked up. "Stop, JC, just stop! I can't do this anymore!"
"Do what?"
Katie turned toward him. "This. Us."
"What are you saying?" asked JC."
"But-"
"There's to much going on in my head right now, so much you can't even begin to understand. I don't even understand it. As much as I know I love you, I just can't be with you. Or anyone. I don't feel safe around guys."
"So, what?" JC asked, his voice shaking. "It's over?"
Katie nodded, another tears escaping her eyes.
JC studied her face for a moment, and knew she was serious. He didn't know what to do, or say, or ever think.
His face softened, and Katie could see tears forming in his eyes.
"JC-"
JC shook his head, turned on his heal, and left her alone.
Part Thirty Nine
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