"I can't believe I did this," Angela screamed at herself, looking at the tears streaming down her face in the mirror, "What were you thinking, Ang?" She questioned herself. In the moments just before, she felt as if she let a piece of her walk away. She sat down in front of her vanity that was adorned with pictures of she and JC, "I just can't do this," she spoke aloud as if she were speaking to her true love, "Why did I do this?" She cried, and she cried hard, thinking if what she did was truly best for JC.

He was overwhelmed with the demands of his career, and knowing that he cried for her everynight, and she couldn't be there for him tore her up inside. She didn't want him to know that pain. Angela would do anything for JC, even if it meant breaking her own heart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When you love someone so deeply

They become your life

It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside

Blindly I imagined I could

Keep you under glass

Now I understand to hold you

I must open up my hands

And watch you rise

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

FLASHBACK

"I don't want to let you go, but I just can't think straight Ang, I am hurting, and this never goes away," JC cried to his girlfriend. He cried with all the sincerity and love in his heart. He was in genuine pain, not having the time to spoil Angela the way that he had dreamed of, not being able to kiss her lips, hold her tight. He cried.

"I know, and that is why I am doing this. You can go if you have to. I can't hold you here. I don't want to hurt you....JC, I can take the pain for you to make you better," she held back her tears as her throat tightened.

"You would take that for me?" JC was shocked and overwhelmed once again, "I can't believe that I can just say this and be gone, Angela, I love you too much." There was a silence on the phone.

"I love you, too, but I can't do this to you. I just can't, JC," she cried. She knew he was in pain, and maybe if he could get away from her, it would be better. He could focus more completely on his projects, and there would be no reason for him to rush through his work to talk to her. He could relax, he could do everything at his own pace...no worries that way, right? That is all that she wanted for her sweetheart.

"So what, this is goodbye?" he questioned. He knew what Angela was doing, and he understood why she was doing it. He loved her even more for her understanding and compassion, but now his heart was breaking in two.

"I guess this is JC. It is our only choice right now. It's just too painful for you," Angela said in a hushed whisper.

"I can't believe this. I can't freaking believe this," JC said in shock, "I love you, Angela. Nothing is going to change that, but I have to do something, you know?" He wanted to reassure her that his love ran only for her.

"I know, and the only reason that I can do this is because I love you," she sobbed heavily, "I love you Joshua Scott."

"Bye Angie, Bye," he hung up and threw himself onto his bed in tears.

END FLASHBACK

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Spread your wings and prepare to fly

For you have become a butterfly

Fly abandonly into the sun

If you should return to me

We truly were meant to be

Spread your wings and fly

Butterfly

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning, Angela turned over in her bed to see the sun shining brightly. The birds were singing, and it was a new morning. Things always went on in life, and that was something she had to realize. Afterall, though it felt like a part of her was gone, she couldn't stop living her life. She had to keep on, and keep the knowledge in her heart that JC loved her with all of his heart. Angela sat down at her vanity once again, one hand on her stomach, incessant tears beginning to flow.

"I just couldn't bring myself to tell him, baby," she looked down, and knew that what she did was wrong. JC had a right to know that she had a little one growing inside of her, but somehow things got jumbled. She didn't and now it was too late. If she went to him now, it would seem she was only trying to bring him back. This was for JC's own good, and she had to keep telling herself that.

The phone rang, "Hello?" She said with some hesitiancy.

"Angela, it's Justin. Now tell me what is going on," he sounded upset with the girl that had become a friend to him over time. The fact that JC was in such pain did nothing for him, "Tell me why you are doing this to ya'll," he said.

"Justin, you know what? I can't do this. I do need JC, but he needs to move on. He said he cries for me and I can't be there. How can I do that to him?" She cried, her eyes never moving from a picture of the two of them.

"Girl, what are you thinking? He cries cuz he misses ya, cuz he needs ya, and that is just it...he needs you. He is better off with you than without you," Justin tried to convince Angela of his case, and he wasn't just saying that as consolation. He believed it with all of his heart.

"But Justin, he needs to move on. He needs to be happy," she cried. Angela had a talk with Tyler the other night, and they agreed that this might be the best thing for JC. All she did was replay what Tyler had said, "Maybe if you feel this way, you should let him go for right now. Afterall, they do say when you love someone, you know?"

"Ugh, whatever, you'll be back for him," Justin's impatience grew, and he hung up the phone, futhering Angela's guilt. She lied down on her bed, gazing up at the ceiling.

"Dear God, I am only trying to do what is best for him. How do I know if I have made the wrong move," she cried, clutching her pillow tight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I have learned that beauty

Has to flourish in the light

Wild horses run unbrideled

Or their spirit dies

You have given me the courage

To be all that I can

And I truly feel your heart will

Lead you back to me when you're

Ready to land

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As she asked for her sign, her clock radio alarm blarred with a song, "In all of creation, all things great and small, you are the one that surpasses them all....more precious than any diamond or pearl, they broke the mold when you came in this world. And I'm trying hard to figure out, just how I ever did without," JC voice rang out through her room, and she knew that was a sign of some sorts from the angels above, but what sign was it. Should she call JC or was it better to wait until he came to her?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I can't pretend these tears

Aren't overflowing steadily

I can't pretend the hurt from

Almost overtaking me

But I will stand and say goodbye

For you will never be mine

Until you know the way it feels

To fly

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Angela stood up when she heard a loud bass booming from a car nearby. Looking out her window, she saw the Benz sitting there, and Justin trying with all of his might to get JC out of the passenger side. She raced down the stairs and flew out of the front door.

"JC?" she cried from the porch, opening her arms. She watched him slowly get out of the Benz and stand there, just looking at him. He looked so gorgeous, even with a tear stained face, he was her baby.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spread your wings and prepare to fly

For you have become a butterfly

Fly abandonly into the sun

If you should return to me

We truly were meant to be

Spread your wings and fly

Butterfly

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She went over to the Benz, Justin walking away, and opened her arms. JC went to her instantly, burying his face in the nook of her neck just to be close to her. She ran her hands up and down his back, and then through his hair. He cried, and she needed to have him in her arms.

"It's okay, baby," she tried to calm him, "Hush now, I'm here." He looked deep into her eyes. Before she could have a thought to herself, he kissed her deeply, warm, with a great deal of passion. It was the kind of kiss that she could feel through and through. It was understood that the night before would be forgotten, and Angela and JC were once again together.

"Honey?" she smiled, and he looked at her, grabbing hold of both of her hands, "I have a surprise for you she said," taking his hand and placing it on her stomach. She smiled, and his eyes widened.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spread your wings and fly.......

Butterfly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Copyrighted: 1999, Laura