Mackie ran back to the hotel, the entire 5 miles. ‘Why? He doesn’t love me, he loves the new body. I was so stupid to think he could actually love me!’
When she got back to her room, she collapsed on the bed. All she wanted to do was cry. She opened the minibar and took out a Dr. Pepper. She popped the top, and drank the whole thing, savoring the liquid that hadn’t invaded her mouth in so long. “Death by sugar.” She said out loud, reaching for another can. She took this one to the bed with her, and lay down. She closed her eyes, and her memory was flooded with James’ words. ‘You are so amazingly beautiful Macks. I couldn’t take my eyes off you all night. I don’t know what’s going on with me, but it’s like since I saw you this afternoon, nothing else has been in my mind but you. I think…I think I fell in love tonight Mackenzie.’ He had looked so sincere, but she knew that physical attraction was fleeting. She wanted him to truly love her, the way that she loved him. Up until that moment, she had never realized just how much she adored James. But, when she turned away from him, and left the coffee shop, it was as if she could no longer breathe correctly. ‘Yes, I love him. Maybe too much.’ The door to the room opened, and Shea walked in.
“Hey sweetie, how are you holding up?” Shea asked, her green eyes filled with concern.
“I guess James told you then, huh?” Shea nodded, and Mackie broke down. “He was supposed to love me for who I am, not what I look like! How could I have been so wrong about him?”
“Shh, it’s OK Mackie. Why don’t you talk to him, tell him everything. I don’t think you were too off on your judgment.”
Mackie cried on Shea’s shoulder for an hour more, before finally calming down. “Thanks Shea. I think I am gonna go for a walk and clear my head. You should get some sleep, though.” Shea nodded, her weary state clearly visible. Before exiting the room Mackenzie turned and said, “Andrea Shea Byer, you are the best friend anyone could ask for.”
“Ditto, Mackenzie Kimberly Deal.”
Mackie closed the door lightly behind her, and made her way downstairs and out the front entrance of the hotel. The night had grown far colder than before, but the cool air felt great against her skin, the wind tousling her hair. Shea was right. She needed to talk to James. She needed to tell him that she loved him, and that she always had. She needed to tell him why she had become a beauty queen. And she needed to walk out of his life again. Staying would be too hard. Mackenzie had always been an all or nothing kind of girl. And now she wanted all of James’ heart or nothing at all.
His deep voice caught her off guard. “Shea told me why you are in the pageant. Don’t be mad at her, I made her tell me.”
She turned to face him. “Yeah, well, now you know. I guess you were wrong, I am pretty shallow.”
“No, you aren’t.” There was a long awkward silence before he spoke again. “She also told me that you had another dream, besides seeing me again. She said…you wanted me to love you. And when I asked why you ran away, she said something about the way that I said it. She wouldn’t say anything else. Tell me what that means Macks. What did I say wrong?”
Tears had already been streaking her face, and the cold wind dried them. “I can’t…” He grabbed her hand, pleading look in his glassy eyes. She loved his eyes. She loved him. ‘Mackenzie, you have to tell him!’ her brain screamed. “I…I love you James! I’ve loved you forever, and I will love you forever, but this is too hard. From now on, just leave me alone.” She pulled her hand from his grasp, and walked, or rather ran, toward the hotel.
