"DJ, why did he do this? I don't understand," Angela cried to her best friend of only a few months. The way the two are always there for each other, it had seemed like years. Angela's tears were flowing incessantly at this point, and DJ searched for words of comfort that we hard to find.
"I don't know, sweetheart...if I knew," DJ growled inside at JC. What the hell was he thinking? Sure he had only known Angela for a few months, but their love was real, and now this? How dare he do this to her!!
"I mean, Deej, he said he loved me just the other day...he said that," Angela couldn't stop crying, she fell into DJ's arms, "That we were something special...how could he," she paused, "How could he lie to me, Deej?" Angela's eyes looked pleadingly at her best friend. She was desperate for an answer.
"I don't know, sweetie...I just don't," DJ shook her head, running things over in her mind, trying to find something, anything to make sense of why JC would say goodbye to a woman that he had seemingly loved so much.
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You set my soul at ease
Chased darkness out of view
Left your desperate spell on me
Say you feel it too, I know you do
I've got so much more to give
This cant die, I yearn to live
Pour yourself all over me
And I'll cherish every drop here on my knees
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"Lie down, Angie, try to get some sleep," DJ said, stroking her best friend's hair as her eyes closed. DJ looked at the tear stained face of Angela and needed to make sense of this all. It wasnt fair, it wasn't right, and there was more to this that what Angela was told.
"If that bastard," DJ mumbled, sitting on the couch, contemplating calling this man to see what on earth he was thinking, "If he cheated on her or...." DJ growled out of frustration. Something wasn't right.
Meanwhile......
JC sat in his favorite chair, staring out the picture window. The expression on his face was one of regret and complete pain. All he could see was Angela's face.
*Flashback*
"JC, why?" she cried to him, keeping a tight grip on his hand, "Why do you want to leave me?" JC fought his own tears in that moment. He hugged her, kissing her once on the forehead.
"Darling, I have to leave...it's not about wanting," a lone tear trickled down his cheek.
"Please," she cried as he kissed her hand, letting go, "JC, don't go...talk to me," Angela cried.
"I love you," he choked out, turning and getting into his jeep. Tears filled his eyes, and he never looked back.
*End Flashback*
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I wanna love you forever
And this is all I'm asking of you
10,000 life times together
Is that so much for you to do
Cuz from the moment that I saw your face
And felt the fire of your sweet embrace
I swear I knew
I wanna love you forever
---------------------------------------------------
The phone rang, shaking JC from his self made sadness. He wiped yet another tear from his cheek as he watched Justin on the phone.
"He's here, yeah, hold up a second," Justin held the cordless phone out to his best friend, covering it so that the caller couldn't hear, "Man, what happenned?" Justin had a look of concern on his face. JC just shook his head, taking the phone. Justin walked out of the room.
"Hello?" he said quietly.
"You better explain yourself right now," DJ said in a hushed tone, yet wanting to lash out at this man for breaking the heart of the sweetest girl on earth, "I AM WAITING," she emphasized.
"DJ, look, you can't understand where I am right now....I can't do this," JC whispered, trying not to see Angela's pained eyes in his mind.
"Try me," she said coldly.
"I love her, and I swear, she hasn't done anything. she just...I can't," JC choked on his words.
"What is wrong with you? She loves you with all of her heart, JC...every last beat," DJ's words cut into him, because everything she was saying, he had known before he walked away from her. DJ glanced at Angela, tossing and turning, hardly sleeping with anything close to peace in her heart.
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My minds fails to understand
What my heart tells me to do
And I'd give up all I have just to be with you
And that would do
I've been always taught to win
And I never thought I'd fall
Be at the mercy of a man
I've never been
Now I only want to be right where you are
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"Deej," Angela muttered, turning to look at her friend. JC gasped on the other end of the line at the sound of his true love's voice.
"Angela, JC is coming over, right JC?" she questioned the broken heart on the other end of the phone. Angela's eyes widened, and JC hung up in that instant. DJ continued as if he were still there, placing faith in him that she was unsure if she should have, "Ok, we'll be here, bye." She hung up on the dead air that JC had left on the line, and prayed that he would come to his senses.
"He's coming here?" Angela questioned, having hope in her eyes. Her love was still ever so strong and more than apparent, "I knew he loved me, Deej," she smiled. Her face still flushed from crying, eyes still red.
"I know that he loves you, too, Ang, I know it," DJ said, swallowing hard, holding back tears that were now beginning to form. She had just learned that JC did love her, very much, in fact, but somewhere inside of him was a fear, something making him run away.
---------------------------------------------------
I wanna love you forever
And this is all I'm asking of you
10,000 life times together
Is that so much for you to do
Cuz from the moment that I saw your face
And felt the fire of your sweet embrace
I swear I knew
I'm wanna love you forever
---------------------------------------------------
Moments later, a soft knock was heard on the door. DJ ran to answer it, Angela sat on the couch, arm crossed, almost hugging herself, scared and confused as she was. DJ opened the door to reveal JC, with tears in his eyes.
"Chasez, you are so lucky you showed up...." DJ turned and pointed at Angela. JC walked slowly towards her. She stood and he placed his hands on her shoulders without a word, and sat her down.
"JC?" Angela said, her eyes filled with tears even still.
--------------------------------------------------
In my life I've learned that heaven never waits
Lets take this now before its gone like yesterday
Cuz when im with you theres nowhere else
That I would ever wanna be no
I'm breathing for the next second I can feel you
Loving me...... I'm gonna love
--------------------------------------------------
He placed his finger on her lips and shook his head, leaning towards her. He placed a delicate kiss on her lips, and pulled back, not opening his eyes. Angela looked at him, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"JC?" she asked him again, "What?"
"I love you," he opened his eyes, and repeated, "I love you," she looked down, "Angela, look at me," her eyes slowly moved up to meet his and he repeated one more time. JC knew that he had made her doubt the love that had always been in his heart. He would repeat those three words as many times as necessary, "Angela, I love you," he cried.
"I love you, too, but...why...what?" she didn't know what words to use, what questions to ask.
"I'm so scared," he wrapped his arms around her, crying heavily, "Scared to love you," he cried, and Angela was floored by his comment.
"Scared, sweetheart, why?"
"Scared that you'll leave, when I can't be here, when I have to be half way around the world and..." JC cried. In these three months, he had been there 90% of the time, but touring would soon be here. He would have to leave, and he didn't want the pain of a break up later. He was terrified.
"Listen to me," Angela said, taking his face in her hands, "I love you, and I am not going to leave you," she kissed his nose, and he giggled through his tears.
"I'm so sorry, baby, I never meant to make you feel that I didn't love you, I'm so sorry," he cried, holding Angela tight.
"It's ok, it's ok," she repeated, trying to console his heart. She loved him that much, "Shhh," she whispered, "It's ok."
"Forever, Ang," he looked at her with tears in his eyes.
----------------------------------------------------
I wanna love you forever
And this is all I'm asking of you
10,000 life times together
Is that so much for you to do
Cuz from the moment that I saw your face
And felt the fire of your sweet embrace
I swear I knew
I'm wanna love you forever
---------------------------------------------------
Copyrighted: 1999, Laura
