“We’ll strike tomorrow.” he said simply as he hunkered down beside an older man.
“Remind me again why we’re doin’ this?” A gruff voice from across the fire demanded.
“I already explained this to you. They’re gonna be bringing Frank to the Marshal for transport. I know this man...he ain’t just goin’ to let him go without a fight. But if we have something he wants, that evens things a little.” he replied softly.
***************************************************** *****************************************************
Lou was just beginning to nod off in the large chair before the fire when she heard the sound approaching horses in the yard. She always tried to wait up for Kid, but she knew how often he was detained in town for petty thefts and occurances. Still, she never went to bed until she knew he was safe in the house. No matter how many times he chided her, she could not be convinced to do otherwise.
She rose from the cushioned seat and walked out on to the porch. She lifted her eyebrows curiously at the second unfamiliar rider. She knew that Teaspoon wasn’t due for another two weeks and her husband didn’t usually bring anyone to the house. She walked down the steps cautiously and waited patiently as her husband dismounted. She could tell from the clumsy way he approached her, he had been drinking again. Lou sighed in frustration, but held her tongue in check.
Kid wasn’t a heavy drinker, but every now and then he’d come home with the smell of cigars and alcohol on his clothes. She had never said anything, knowing that Kid needed to escape from life at times. The pressure of being Marshal to the bustling town sometimes became too much for him to deal with.
The way he was walking towards her now warned her that this time he had gone far beyond a drink or two. She had never seen him in such a state and it shocked her to the core. He was suddenly in front of her now, grinning widely and gesturing to the other rider, now dismounting his horse in the same fashion as he had.
“I brought some company Lou.” Kid slurred as he reached out to kiss her.
Lou backed away in horror. He reaked of whiskey and cheap purfume, and for once, Lou wasn’t going to accept his behavior. Kid looked at her, hurt evident on his handsome features. His eyes became hard and he looked back at the still-unknown rider.
“You see the welcome I get Jimmy?”
Jimmy? Lou looked at the other man sharply. Although his face was obscured by both the dark and his hat, she recognized the hard set of his jaw and the long auburn hair. She was torn between being happy at seeing her old friend, or angry at his state. It had been six years since she’d seen him last, or heard from him for that matter. He had never responded to any of her numerous letters, not even a line saying that he was all right. For so long Lou had waited for something, at times it was the only thing that kept her going. But she had been disappointed. It had come to the point that she had to stop writing to perserve the small hope still left inside. Now here he was, albeit severely inebriated.
“I can’t believe you two.” Lou said harshly, her anger boiling to the surface.
“Oh come on Lou, is that any way to welcome our guest?” Kid responded.
“He ain’t welcome in my house like that...and neither are you Kid.” Lou said quietly as she turned her steely gaze on her husband.
“Are you tellin’ me I can’t even go in my own house?” He asked incredulously.
“You can sleep in the barn tonight, because you’re not setting one foot inside my home.” Lou returned evenly, crossing her arms across her chest in defiance.
“Come on Kid...” Jimmy finally spoke, tugging at his friend’s arm, hoping to avoid any conlict.
“Hell no. This is my house too and if I want to sleep in it, I will!” He yelled as he began to walk towards the porch.
Lou stepped in front of him, stubbornly refusing to let him pass. He tried to go around her, but she predicted his every step and continued to block him. His blue eyes lit up in fury, and for one small moment Lou was actually afraid he would hit her. Instead he threw his arms up and stalked away to the barn, mumbling incoherently. Jimmy glanced at Lou apologetically and followed Kid to the barn.
When the two men were out of sight, Lou sunk to the ground and tried to curb the tears already brimming from her large eyes. Slowly she regained her composure and, standing on unsteady legs, walked into the house to spend the first night in a long while away from her husband.
********************************************* ************************************************
Kid awoke with a start that he instantly regretted as the steady pounding in his head became sharper and more pronounced. He moaned and lay back down on the itchy hay. Where had this monsterous headache come from, and why was he sleeping in the barn? Then memories of the night before began to flood rapidly and he moaned again. He sat up again, the pain this sudden rush of movement elicited Kid endured as a penance for his previous night’s conduct.
Kid had always prided himself on the fact that he wasn’t much of a drinker. He had seen what alcohol could do to a person first-hand growing up. Although he had a drink every now and then to relieve the tension, he had never been drunk. He lowered his head in shame as he remembered the look in Lou’s eyes. She had been so disappointed. And scared. He would never forgive himself for hurting Lou as he had. He looked over to where Jimmy was sleeping soundly in one of the empty horse stalls. Why had he gotten so carried away?
Heaving himself up gently, he went in search of his wife, rehearseing what he was going to say to her. He didn’t think he could bare the look of reproof that was sure to be evident in her expressive eyes, but he knew he deserved it. As he walked into the house, the smell of bacon assaulted him and it was all he could do to keep from running out to the porch to vomit. The room was spinning a little and placed his hand along the wall for support.
Lou stiffened as he entered the kitchen, but she didn’t turn to greet him, or even acknowledge his presence. Instead, she kept her attention on the sizzling breakfast, her back straight and unforgiving. At that point he wanted her to scream at him, or throw things. Anything was better than the silent treatment.
“Lou...uh, I’m sorry.” Kid said, surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded in the quiet room.
“I know.” Lou replied softly as she turned around.
“I don’t know what got into me, I just--”
“It’s all right Kid, you don’t have to explain anything to me. I understand.” Lou continued as she sat at the table. “I know things haven’t turned out the way we planned. I know you’re unhappy.”
Kid stood there stunned for a moment. Her wounded eyes were more than he could stand and he rushed in font of her, kneeling. “Lou, I’m not unhappy. I love you.”
“I know you love me Kid...but I also know that things ain’t right between us. They haven’t been for a while...that’s why you stay in town so much.” Lou explained.
Kid looked in to her eyes, but saw no anger, only resigned acceptence. He couldn’t deny that most of his time was spent in town. He would be lying and both of them knew it. Before he could say anything in protest, Lou continued.
“Kid, I ain’t blamin’ you. I never really knew just how unhappy you were until last night.”
“Lou, please--”
“I was planning on telling you this when the timing was right, but I guess I could wait forever for the perfect time and place.”
“What is it?” Kid whispered, scared by the hesitancy and doubt in her troubled eyes.
Taking a deep breath, she smiled and grabbed his large hand. “I’m goin’ to have a baby Kid.”
Time seemed to stand still for Kid in that moment. Lou was waiting for a reaction, but he couldn’t process the information. The doctor had told them it was impossible for Lou to have any more children. The last miscarriage had done so much damage. Kid looked at his wife, frail but still beautiful and knew that there was no way she’d be able to survive labor.
“Dammit! Doc said there was no way you could become pregnant!” Kid finally exclaimed as he disentangled his hand from Lou’s and stood up.
Lou’s face had become a shade paler, but nothing prepared her for his next words. “There must be somethin’ we can do...I remember stories of ladies gettin’ rid of babies they didn’t want--”
“Kid, what are you sayin’?” Lou asked dangerously quiet as she stood to face him.
“Lou...you can’t have this baby, do you understand?” Kid inquired, softening his tone.
“No I don’t understand! And if you say anything more about getting rid of this baby I swear I’ll never forgive you.” Lou returned.
“You’ll die! Can’t you see that? Do you think I’m blind? You’re not well Lou, and I won’t lose you.” Kid screamed hysterically.
“I know that I may not survive--”
“May not? May not? Lou, you will die...you just ain’t strong enough--”
“Or woman enough?”
“God Lou, that’s not what I’m sayin’! Is that why you want this baby so bad to prove that you can?”
“After all these years you still don’t understand me, do you? I want this baby because I love you.”
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t risk this. You’d--”
“Kill my baby? Don’t ask me to choose Kid, don’t you dare.” Lou screamed.
“How long have you known?” He asked quietly, his voice full of fury.
Lou shifted uncomfortably before meeting his icy glare head on. “Three months.”
“You’ve known for three months and didn’t tell me?” He asked incredulously, his eyes traveling to her small form.
Before she could reply, Kid stormed from the house. Lou stood still in the middle of the kitchen for a moment before deciding to follow him. She stood on the porch as he stalked angrily off to the stables. “Kid, where you goin’?” She yelled after him.
He didn’t turn around or even slow his pace, but continued to the barn. Lou knew that he was too angry to talk about anything rationally now. She felt small for not telling him of the baby sooner, but she had wanted to make sure that everything would be all right. She’d had too many disappointments in the past to put much hope in the small life inside of her. However, the doctor had assured her that the baby seemed to be doing fine and had a great chance of making it to term. He had also warned her of the extreme dangers involved.
Kid soon emerged on Katy’s back. He didn’t even give her a backwards glance as he rode off into town. She sighed and leaned her forehead against the tall column on the porch. She had never seen Kid so angry before. The things he had said earlier had cut to the bone, but she knew he was only concerned for her. It might take time, but he would realize that this baby was a blessing. He had to, because soon it would be the only thing he had left.
