::annnd.. i found this in my room... i dunno why i wrote it, when i wrote it, or where it was going, but i decided i'd put it here cause i'm bored. i think it was around..that incident.. involving *december 28th*... which is NOT true...
"As i sit here by the fire the song words repeat in my head "you.. think that i'm strong- youre wrong, youre wrong.." How true some words can seem sometimes. How can you always face the world with a smile when the same story wont stop repeating in the back of your thoughts? and that that story is your epidime of bad thoughts? "it's not that i cant live without you- its just that i dont even want to try..." what do i do when i'm not ALLOWED, in MY mind, to live with you in my thoughts at every second? what happens when it doesnt seem right anymore? "No one on this earth loves you like i do..." the thought that i cant be the one telling you those words, and i cant be the one you say them to, is like a permanent stake in my heart. Like in a movie, my vision of the world fades, the fireplace in front of me blurs and the thoughts in my head shift slowly into unlimited visions... of you. Like a slide show your eyes move slowly by, their colour shining and the small sense of a smile on your face makes them squint slightly. The mind shifts down to your smile, the teeth slightly showing as dimples form reaching up to your nose, I can hear the sound of the laughes, breathing heavily at first, they're still fresh in my thoughts. You run your hands through the dark hair as each strand spikes back up through your fingers, the brown reflects the sun from your left as your nose scrunches up in the slightest remark of humor. My hand twitches as i sense the touch of your hand over mine, the warmth circulating through my body. like a dream i look into your eyes and.... It stops. Suddenly i see it... There's no need to worry, there's nothing to let go of. There's nothing to think badly of, there's nothing to leave behind, there's nothing to say good bye to. You'll always be there, whether youre there in front of me or youre there in my thoughts, or in my heart, the slightest visions of you will keep me going in my times of need, and everytime i feel the sinking in my heart and i feel the hundred needles stabbing through it, as i breathe in heavily and my mind draws a blank... you will be there. you wont be walking away though, and i wont be letting you slip from my thoughts. you'll always be there, and there's no reason to run. "You think that i'm strong... Youre wrong... youre-" no... thats true. I can be strong."
