2 July 2000

HELLO JAY I FEEL LIKE TYPING IN ALL CAPS AND USING NO PUNCTUATION SO JUST DEAL WITH IT ANYWAY HOW DO I EVEN BEGIN TO RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL I THINK THAT I AM JUST GOING TO DISECT IT ONE PEICE AT A TIME AND HOPE TO HELL THAT I DONT GET KICKED OFF THE NET BECAUSE I AM TAKING TO DAMN LONG TO WRITE ONE EMAIL SO HERE WE GO WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY YOU STARTED TO SEE THE FIRST OUTLINE OF FEATHERS AND I AM NOT!!! ALWAYS SAD WHY DO YOU THINK THAT WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THAT DO I HAVE THIS AURA OF SADNESS THAT JUST FOLLOWS ME AROUND OR AM I REALLY SAD AND I AM JUST LIVING IN DENILE DO YOU KNOW DO I KNOW DOES ANYONE KNOW AND EVEN MORE WHOS BUSINESS IS IT ANYWAY AND WHO HAS THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ME AND HOW I FEEL WHEN THEY HAVENT WALKED A DAY IN MY FOOTSTEPS OR LIVED AN HOUR IN MY HEAD

AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I AM ANGRY AND WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT I AM ANGRY AND WHAT SONG ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU SAY SHE WAS A SOUR GIRL WHEN I MET HER

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE SONG SULLEN GIRL BY FIONA APPLE SOMETIMES THATS HOW I FEEL OR MAYBE IS THE THEME SONG TO MY LIFE MELLONCHOLY AND INFINATE SADNESS SOMETIMES JAY I THINK THAT YOU SEE ME AS A SAD PERSON AND THATS THE STEREO TYPE THAT I HAVE FALLEN INTO WITH YOU AND NO MATTER HOW HAPPY I AM YOU WILL ALWAYS SEE ME AS THE SAD ORPHAN CHILD THE PERPETUAL WANDERER.

AND YOU ARENT DRAGGING ME DOWN IF I AM DROWNING IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH ME AND YOUR QUESTION AS TO

"Did you have wings and are now without them, or did you never have wings to begin with?"

HERE IS THE BEST ANSWER THAT I CAN GIVE YOU MAYBE I HAD WINGS BEFORE - I DONT KNOW IF I DID I HID THEM WELL AND I WAS AFRAID TO FLY AND THEN I MET JAMES AND HE OPENED MY EYES I SAW THE WORLD IN A NEW LIGHT HE GAVE ME WINGS AND I FELT LIKE I COULD FLY AND THEN HE WENT AWAY AND HE SHATTERED ME AND TOOK MY WINGS WITH HIM WHEN HE LEFT AND I FELL BACK TO EARTH