Lost Souls

Darkness swirls 'round about me now;

Encompassing all my misery,

and pushing me further

Down.... down, I go;

Into that torrent of pain that

takes me unbiddingly, to

Depths ever so low.....

You seem to always find me

and I know that that's not right;

Cause I've struggled so just

to overcome, to begin again,

to set things right...

Seems Fate would even out

the edges - or a star would

fall, just for me, so that at long

last, I may see....

I've dreamt of gaity and love

and laughter, and drew it

to me, once or twice.

What was the roll of the dice?

That I'd always go fallin' and

lose my way,

Isn't there Heaven, if only for a day?

Is constant struggle to be my lot?

Are there favors, friends, I forgot?

What stone did I leave unturned,

Did I miss a chance along the way?

Comfort is lost, wasted time spent,

Trying to recapture any gladness,

in this life so bent......

Will I be permitted one last

taste of glory, one more chance,

to be lifted out of this utterly

cold night?

How many days now....it seems

I've lost count -

But as I began this shrinking of

the soul, I said,

"Never fear, God is near" and

"it's always darkest before the dawn",

Little comfort this is now,

With fresh waves of agony

upon my brow.

Tentatively, I try to lift my head;

But ole' Melancholy I greet instead.

I wonder where all this will end,

Would it be where I begin -

Beginnings can be utter

innocence and bliss;

So this is what I've missed.

Glory will surround me,

like the morning dew;

Then poor lost souls, like me,

I'll think of you.

B.J. McCall

4/93