As Long As You Love ME

"Steph!! Wake up!" Howie yelled over my answering machine. That boy was always doing that. My best friend for the longest time, he made sure he gave me a wake up call whenever he could, so that I would be up to do something >with him and the boys.

I grabbed the phone and just about yelled, "HELLOOOOO!!! I'M UP!" My voice echoed through my Sweet D Condominium. Howie had let me design the whole thing (I even had a pool shaped like a foot!), so I had the ideal house all to myself. Well, ok, so I had a chihuahua that the boys had bought me on a trip, to keep me company. Muchacho was a crazy little black dog, but I loved him to death. Mine and Brian's dogs (he also had a chihuahua) were best friends.

I reached over and turned off the answering machine and sat up, yawning.

"Must you do this EVERY morning?" I whined.

"For my little dancer? Of course!" Howie joked. "One of these days, I'll have all of us yell in the phone, just to bug you."

"Oh shut up! I got the point, so I'm gunna hang up and get dressed. If you want to, come over in about twenty minutes and make me breakfast," I told D.

"Deal. See ya in a few!" We hung up and I sleepily crawled over to my shower.



I am a professional hip-hop dancer and one of the longtime best friends of Howard Dorough, a Backstreet Boy. For the past few years, I had been looking for a local job as a dancer. Howie suggested to the boys that I try out as >one of their fly girls for concerts. He always wanted me to tour with them because he knew I absolutely loved their music and had supported them from day one. Though I was only 18 and I had just moved down to Tampa, he begged >me to try out. After quickly convincing Kevin Richardson, Brian Littrell, Nick Carter, and AJ McLean to give me a private audition, I was inducted into the Backstreet stage show.

Right from the start, I became closer to the boys. I had known them before, but not long after, we became tight, like siblings. I was their little sister. I substituted for Nick's siblings, which meant that he hammered me >with sibling evilness constantly. Yet, at the same time, there was always a sense of sibling love that lingered everywhere we were together. J (well, everyone else calls him AJ) got himself a girlfriend not long ago, and I just found out that Brian and Nick had located the loves of their lives, so I enjoyed teasing them about having imaginary girls, until I actually met the girls.



While I was doing my hair, after quickly dressing myself in my favorite green leotard, GAP pj bottoms, and a tank-top (my favorite dance outfit), I heard Muchacho's loud yipping. It was soon followed by a "Hey Chachi!" I knew The D had just walked in. I finished scrunching my hair and walked out to the kitchen.

"Mucho never learns, does he?" I joked. Howie was standing in the kitchen, holding my dog and petting him.

"Hey! These dogs are probably the best guard dogs ever! They can be pretty vicious!" D told me. Then he added, "especially this little guy." I laughed as I grabbed the bag of dog food and poured some of it into Mucho's food bowl. Then I refilled his water. Then D set the Muche down and washed his hands, before getting started on our fruity breakfast.

"Sooo...what's on the menu today?" I wondered.

"Hmmm...what do you have in here?" Howie started, sticking his head in my fridge, which was completely covered by pictures that his nieces and nephews and Nick's siblings drew me, and pictures of me and the boys. "How 'bout strawberries, apples, banaenaes, freshly made orange juice, and bagels with cream cheese?"

"Mmm yum yum!" I cried, imitating AJ. I reached over to my huge sound system and flicked on Paula Abdul, one of my favorites, as well as J's. Then, I started dancing around, singing. Howie laughed when he caught a glimpse of >me. I opened the back door's curtain to look out at the beautiful sunshine and my palm-treed backyard with a big pool. A mini paradise for me that often held parties with the boys. The most recent one was Brian's birthday, and I kept reminding the guys that Saint Patrick's Day (my b-day) was coming up. Within minutes, my breakfast was ready. I put my favorite plates (white ones with fish on the border) on the glass table and helped Howie put the food on the table. We chowed down. As always, breakfast was delicious. When we were done, I had to go blow dry my hair. Then, we left.

Howie drove me over to the gym, where we did our daily hour work-out. Then, we quickly headed over to Nick's house, where the boys and I were going to go over some combinations we had recently learned from Fatima (that I had helped choreograph! My first taste at being a choreographer!). Yet, when we got to Nicky's place, there was a only a Durango and a Jeep. I was puzzled. We got up to the door and knocked.

"Hey Gilli! Hey D!" Nick greeted. (Because I loved fisherman hats, they gave me the nickname of Gilligan. This meant that either D, J, or I would always end up quoting one of them from their Backstreet Boy All Access tape--which those dumb boys had given me for Christmas...what a present!) He let us in and led us to the living room, where B-Rok and the girls they were dating sat. Bri got up and said hi. I gave him a quick hug and said hi to the girls.

"Guys, you remember Amy, my girlfriend. And Amanda. Girls, you remember Stephanie. She's one of our really good friends and one of the dancers we hired. And you know Howie," Nick introduced everyone. I went over and shook the girls' hands. They were sweet. I was taller than them, so I felt kind of weird, but I had already really liked them from the start.

"So I guess this means no Mario Kart today, Nicky?" I joked.

"Man! YOU are going to improve on that thing! You are so bad!" Nick suddenly outbursted.

"Where's Kev and J?" I asked.

"Kevin's working today and AJ is probably shopping with Emily. We told them they didn't need to come over today. We just wanted you to get to know the girls and hang out for a while," Brian explained to me.

"Oh I feel so nice! Meeting again with my boys' girlfriends in my sweaty dance clothes. Nicky, can I borrow a shirt and some sweats?" I asked. Nick excused himself and went into his room to get me an old Nike shirt and his Nike rip-off pants, then I changed in the spare bedroom while they all sat around in the living room.

When I got out of the bathroom, the boys and Amy and Amanda were all sitting in the living room and Brian and Amanda were telling everyone how they met, hand in hand. I thought it was the sweetest thing to see the two of them. She was such a cutie and looked like he could fit her in his pocket. I sat on the arm of the big fat chair Howie was sitting in and listened to their story. It was so precious. I wished I could find a guy like she had. It was so hard though, because I was constantly around five of them and other guys always thought I was dating one of them. I never went to a club without Howie or Kevin or AJ accompanying me. It was kinda tough, but I just couldn't bear going without them. Those three danced all night long with me. Howie and I went everywhere together, and I usually went to the grocery store with Kevy and clothes shopping with J. I intently listened to Amanda and Brian recount their romantic get together. When they finished I awwwed at them. WHY COULDN'T I HAVE A BOY LIKE SHE DID???? Not once had I ever thought of one of my boys that way.

Suddenly, my ears became very aware of those certain piano notes that played over the radio. I jumped up to Nick's stereo system and turned it up, then began singing at the top of my lungs.

"Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine, I'm leaving my life in your hands..." I sang with my horrible voice. Brian, Howie, and Nick all began laughing. They knew "As Long As You Love Me" was my favorite song ever and I always reacted that way when I heard that song. Amanda and Amy laughed as well, not knowing how to act. They all watched me sing into Nick's remote control like an insane freak until the last "As long as you love meeeee...." played. Then, I turned it down and set the remote back on the table I had picked it up from.

"Sorry! That's just my most favorite song and they know I go crazy when I hear it on the radio," I explained. "I try to contain myself but it never works! So, tell me, how did you meet, Nick and Amy?"

"Well, weird enough, I'm 'Manda's best friend. Right after she came home the morning after the storm, I had to go to work at the hospital, where I met Nick. I had seen him there frequently, but never talked to him. We bumped into each other and got into conversation. Then he decided he wanted to take me out. So, after work, we went out. Then, the boys decided they wanted me and 'Manda to meet each other, because they were both so happy and wanted to double date. So--" Amy began.

"We met at a restaurant and the two saw each other and went crazy. None of us had known about any of this. It ended up being very convenient, because now the four of us go out together all the time," Nick finished.

"Oh guys! That's so cool!" I cried. "So you were dating when I met those two at the concert?"

"Yup," Amanda spoke up.

"Why didn't you tell me guys?" I wanted to know. "I thought you guys were just friends!"

"Cuz we needed to get dressed and didn't have time to explain anything, Stephy," Brian told me. I understood. I was too happy for them to get into an argument.

"Whaddya say we all go out to a Mexican restaurant for lunch?" Howie suggested, realizing that it was near lunchtime.

"Sure. We can all pile into the Durango and I'll drive!" Nicky declared. We didn't have anything to complain about, so the six of us all climbed into the big green car and were on our way.

Within a few minutes, Nick pulled into the parking lot, where we spotted AJ's Expedition.

"Looks like we have psychic connections," Brian joked. We all walked in and instantly spotted AJ and Emily in a booth in the corner.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyy J!" I cried. His head shot around and locked eyes with me. Then, he busted up. "Hey Em!" Emily waved to me, then saw everyone else and said hi to them as well. We all sat at a table next to them and proceeded to ask how the shopping went.

"Well, knowing this boy, we got some pretty wild things. He found the perfect hat for you, too," Emily informed us.

"J, you and I are going hat shopping one of these days," I told him.

"So, how long have you been here?" Howie wanted to know.

"Not very long. The waitress is about to come back and order our food, so why don't you guys...um...join us?" AJ replied.

"Don't mind if we do?" Brian asked in one of his weird voices. He and Amanda sat down on one side of the table together.

I couldn't believe how quickly they had gotten close. Brian had had some tight relationships before, like that Leighanne chic, but never this close. They were perfect for each other, and I could already tell I loved Amanda. Amy, on the other hand, was the answer to all of Nick's problems. And believe me, he had a lot. It was only recently that he had split with his long term girl, someone named Mandy. I had met her a few times, but she hated me because I was so close with the boys that I guess it made her jealous. And AJ had so many flings that it was hard to tell which girl he was actually happy with. But I could tell Emily fit his every need.

Now all we had to do was find Kevin, Howie, and me someone. For a while there, I had thought I was a little too attached to my boys, because I had fallen hard for a guy who looked a lot like Nick. But we never really got anywhere, because we were so different. I always met tons of guys at the clubs we went to, but never anyone that had the potential to be my boyfriend. The boys kept reassuring me that my personality would attract guys like flies, but I guessed they were just being sweet. Then Howie came up with the idea that guys were just intimidated by my alertness and strong attitude that they didn't bother. I would've believed that, because I was not the most vulnerable person.

We all ordered our food and talked a bit, while we ate it. Emily and I teased the boys and showed Amy and Amanda what to look forward to when they do stuff with all of us. Yet, lunch went by quickly and we were soon ready to go. I declared that I needed to go home because I had a dance class that day that I couldn't miss, so the six of us piled back into Nick's green Durango and went back to his house. There, I picked up my clothes and Howie and I drove back to my house.



Back at my house, we were greeted by the lovable Chachi. I picked up my little doggy who was vigourously wagging his little tail and walked in. D shut the door and I put Chachi down and went into my bedroom to change while D turned on the TV. When I came out, Howie had found some corny talk show on TV. All I heard was yelling and barking. I went over to the TV and saw Mucho jumping up at the screen, yipping like crazy at the Jerry Springer show, while Howie looked on, laughing his head off.

"Deeeeeeee!!!!" I cried. He turned off the TV and I put Mucho outside because I leave him inside while I'm gone. "You wanna babysit my dog after you take me to my class?"

"Sure. I love that dog to death. I'm sure we'd have a good time," Howie complied. I let Mucho back in and Howie and I left for my Musical theatrical class.



I was planning to have J come in to be a special guest in my class, because he was a professional at musical theater, but he was always busy. One of these days, I kept telling myself. One of these days. And then he'll show up when I'm in the middle and surprise me, like he always does. I rolled my eyes at that thought.

Well, class had just ended so I was packing up when in walked...Amanda.

"Hey Amanda! How are you?" I greeted her, standing up while I swung my backpack over my right shoulder.

"Good! I heard you worked here so I thought I'd stop by and see how you were. Ya know, maybe we could do something together today. Brian and the rest of the guys are working on dances and Amy is at the hospital, so I thought I'd stop by instead of making you ride the bus," Amanda told me.

"Wow! That's really nice of you! I'd love to go somewhere with you!" I exclaimed, leading her out of the studio as I turned the lights off. "Where shall we go?"

"Wanna go to the mall? I was kinda thinking we could do a little shopping there," Amanda informed me. I wasn't much of a shopper, but I knew we would have a good time. We got outside the building and I stopped in my tracks.

Brian's Jeep was in the parking lot.

"Brian's letting you drive his precious JEEP??" I cried, shocked. "You guys are extremely close, I see."

"Yeah, we hit it off from the very first minute together. He handed me the keys and said 'go and have fun with Steph.' So, here I am!" Amanda explained. I laughed. We walked over to the Jeep and climbed in. I loved that car. It >was so messy inside, but the leather seats were so comfy. I kicked aside some papers and got situated.

"Well, I hope you can get him into cleaning the inside of this thing! This boy doesn't know the meaning of the word 'spotless'!" I replied, making Amanda laugh. She pulled out of the parking lot and we hit the road. "But really, you mean A LOT to ol' Seaver. He won't even let NICKY drive his Jeep. And they've been best friends since before they hit it big." I watched as Amanda's smile broadened. Then, I reached over to turn up the radio. The New Radicals song, "Get What You Give," blared out of the speakers. Amanda and I began to sing at the top of our lungs, as the wind blew through our hair.

Within minutes, we were at the mall. We hopped out and headed for Old Navy. I was getting desperate to find some cargo pants. I was thinking of picking out some olive green ones, to go with my camouflage fisherman hat. Amanda was in dire need of some new jeans and a few shirts, so we quickly went to work, looking for clothes. It wasn't long before I found the perfect pair of cargos. So, I went to Amanda's aid and helped her pick out a few cute shirts and some jeans.

Then, we headed to the Tommy outlet. There, we found matching, big, gray mens' shirts with the Tommy logo on them.

"We'll match Kevy!" I cried, as we came out of our dressing rooms to stand together in front of the big mirror.

"Maybe we should buy some for Amy, Danielle, and Emily!" Amanda suggested.

"Ha! That would be soo funny! Then we could all show up to some get together, >matching!" I replied. Then, I stopped myself. "Wait. Who's Danielle? Are Kev or Howie not telling me something?"

"Danielle is my secretary who's going out with Kevin," Amanda told me. "She was at Bri's party...?"

"Ohhhh I remember! How cute! My Kevy got himself a girl!" I cried. I was so happy for my boys! My big brothers had girlfriends! "Now, all we have to do is get Howard a girl!"

"Wait. I thought you were Howie's girlfriend," Amanda said, puzzled. I blushed. Did I really imply that?

"Oh no. I'm too young for D. I'm just really close to all the boys. They're like my big brothers. And they like to take me places with them. Like, if they all do the dating thing together and one of them doesn't have a girl to go with, they'll ask me. I'm like the substitute girlfriend, I guess you could say. But not one of them thinks of me that way. They all treat me like their little sister!" I explained to her.

"I see. So. Whaddya say we get three more shirts for the others?" Amanda got back to the question.

"Definitely. That would be hilarious. I'll be takin' my camera THAT day. We should all go to one of their recording studios one day, wearing the shirts. Then, I'll snap a picture of their reactions! Good idea 'Manda!" I exclaimed. We went back into our dressing rooms and got back into our other shirts before going back out to find three more shirts, then buy them all.

Next, I told my new friend that I had to take her to my favorite store in the world: "LIDS." It was mine and J's store. We went there all the time and were secretly planning to purchase it one day. The merchandise buyer began to notice us and started ordering more of a variety of hats for us to choose from. Instead of just Newsies hats and baseball caps, there were now floppy hats, top hats, fisherman hats, beanies, and any other hat you could think of. And J and I had almost one of each hat in the store. Together, we had nearly 900 hats. Seriously! I had one room in my house that was reserved for hats. On every wall there were hooks with hats hanging on them. The ceiling was completely covered with hats. Every inch. Sometimes, J would let himself into my house before a concert and steal a few hats to wear. (All the boys and I had keys to each other's houses, just in case we needed to get in, in an emergency.)

Amanda and I tried on a few hats and ended up buying some. I bought a rainbow colored fisherman hat and Amanda bought herself a blue beanie that had fish all along the brim of it. After buying the hats, we stuck them on and went to McDonald's. Micky D's...ahh...another one of mine and J's hang outs. When he was girlfriendless, he would take me out to McDonald's all the time.

By the time we got to Micky D's, it was around 6:30pm. We had spent three hours together! After getting our food, the two of us sat down at a corner booth and began to devour our burgers, talking in between bites.

"So, you've been friends with these guys for the longest time, but you've never gone out with any of them??" Amanda asked.

"Yeah. They're great. I'm a year younger than Nick as it is. So I'm younger than all of them. It would be so awkward dating any one of them. They've all done so much for me!" I explained.

"Awww...they are sweet aren't they? Brian bought me a dress and got me a hair appointment on our first date!" Amanda cried. I laughed, shocked at little Brock.

"He's a real charmer, I'll tell you that. But he was always talking about you before hand, so I always wanted to know who this girl was. I'm glad he finally snagged you at the right time! He's not one to tolerate mistreatment of a lady."

"Oh I know! And he reads eyes so well!" Amanda told me.

"I know! I'll be sitting there and he'll look at my eyes and say 'Gilli, tell me what's up.' I'll look at him and pour it out. Kev's the same. I guess it runs in the family," I chuckled.

"Soooo...your birthday's comin' up, I hear?" Amanda changed the subject.

"Yup," I said, before taking a large bite of my burger. "March 17th! I'm a St. Patty's Day baby, so they always make me dress up in green. J even had a green top hat with a four-leaf clover springing out of the top specially made for me and makes sure that I wear it every year." Amanda quickly swallowed her food, then laughed hysterically. "He also makes sure we both dye our hair green for the occasion. Then, they push me in the pool and the green dye runs into the water, dying it green. So, not only do I end up with dyed hair, I get dyed water in my pool. It's become routine. But this year, they're promising something different and they won't tell me what."

"Yeah, they're always talking about it over the phone. Especially since it's in, like, two weeks, right?" Amanda replied.

"Yup. But don't tell me what you've heard! I want it to be a major surprise!" I cried.

"I promise I won't say a word," Amanda agreed. We began on the fries when suddenly, I noticed a teenage girl walking towards us.

"Here we go again," I mumbled. Amanda looked confused. "Hi!" I greeted the girl.

"Um, can you give this to Nick for me, and tell him it's from Cassandra," the girl, who looked like she was about 13, instructed as she handed me a wrapped box.

"Sure thing! I'll give it to him as soon as I get home," I told the girl. She said thank you and walked away with a huge smile on her face. I set the box beside me.

"What was that all about? How do they know you know the boys?" Amanda wanted to know.

"Well, I'm on stage with them in every show, and sometimes I have to do interviews. A lot of people come up to me on a daily basis and give me stuff to give the boys. I get used to it, but sometimes I wonder how the boys don't get sick of it," I explained.

"I know! I'm afraid girls are going to start giving me dirty looks and threaten to kill me!" Amanda confided in me.

"Haha! You don't have to worry about that. Most of the girls will just tell you how lucky you are and how they wish they were you. Occasionally, they'll give you dirty looks, but none of them ever get physical on you," I let her know. Then, I glanced down at my handy dandy watch. "Oh wow. We'd better finish our food and get going. The boys will be worried about us!"

"Ok. Yeah. I'm sure Brian wants his Jeep back!" Amanda replied. We laughed and grabbed our food. We decided we would just eat it in the Jeep. Brian wouldn't notice any crumbs, he was too oblivious to it all! I made sure I had all my bags and the box and we headed out to the Jeep. It sat in the parking lot, covered with balloons, presents, posters, cards, a big banner, and a huge teddy bear. Amanda gasped and I cracked up.

"They get THAT a lot too! Girls who live around here memorize their license plates and search for their cars so they can adorn them with gifts," I said.

"Wow. And I didn't even recognize Bri when I first met him!" Amanda exclaimed. I giggled. We cleared the seats so we could sit down, and drove home.


When we got to Brian's house, there was a note for Amanda that said he was at Kevin's, hanging with him for awhile. It was gunna be a guys night. So, I gave her directions and we eventually made it to Kev's house.

From the front of Train's house, we honked the horn nonstop. Finally, Kev peeked out his window through the curtains and busted up. Within seconds, Brian was running outside in some sweats. He ran to the driver's side and gave Amanda a kiss as he opened the door and let her out. Kevin watched from the front door of the house.

"Looks like you got yourself some presents Bri!" he called. I got out of the car with an armload of stuff. Kevin came out and helped clear some of the stuff out of Brian's Jeep, then offered me a ride home. After we cleaned out Brian's Jeep, Kevin took me home.

"Can't believe that boy. Everywhere we go, he's adorned with presents!" Kev told me.

"Don't worry Kevy. Girls love you too. Just not so much that they have to stalk you," I said, patting his shoulder. "Hey! And what about that Danielle girl? I heard you two hit it off well."

"Yeah. We're gettin' closer..." Kevin explained, blushing.

"I see. But hey! If you ever need a girl cuz it doesn't work out, you know I have a sister who would absolutely LOVE to meet you!" I reminded him. "But I'm sure you'll last with Danielle. Amanda's a real sweetie. She and I spent four hours at the mall today."

"I assume that's where you got the hat? Man, Bone is going to flip. It's very phat though," Kevin complimented.

"Phat to death, man?" I asked, jokingly.

"Phat to death....MAN," Kevin repeated with a soft, yet deep voice. I laughed. Then, Kev pulled into my driveway and we got out of the 4-Runner and walked into my house, Kevin carrying my bags.

Once we got inside and I let Muchacho out, Kev followed me into my room with my bags. He set them on the bed and sat down in my big fat chair.

"So, what do you think about Amanda?" Kevin asked me.

"Oh she's such a sweet girl! I totally adore her!" I exclaimed.

"Don't think Bri's moving to fast?"

"Oh no. If he is that much in love with her, then I believe that they were meant to be. They're perfect for each other. Really. You should hang out with her sometime. Amanda didn't even recognize Brian when she first met him! She doesn't love him for his fame or his money. She loves him for Brian Thomas Littrell. That's one thing the boy needs. Not many girls come across Brock that way. Every girl he's hooked up with in the past how many years has only liked him because of his talent, his fame, his money, or the fact that she was infatuated with him. Amanda's the first girl who really loves and appreciates Bri. Don't worry Kev. I know you always look out for Brian, but you have to trust him this time. He's definitely made the right decision. And this isn't going to turn out the way it did with Leighanne. And Amy's not like Mandy," I continued.

"Mandy..." Kevin sighed, recalling Nick's ex-girlfriend. "I just hope Emily and Bone don't hurt each other like all the other girls AJ's gone with."

"Oh AJ's stupid," I mumbled. By now, I was lying on my stomach on the bed.

"I could agree with that..."

"And if he gets one more tattoo, I swear I'm gunna smack that boy upside the head and make him remove every single one!" I cried. Kev laughed. Then, he got up, walked over to me, mussed up my hair and patted my head.

"Well, Gilli, I gotta go. Get a good rest and be up early tomorrow so we can do the rehearsing we didn't do today! See ya later!" Kevin told me. I quickly got up and he placed his arm on my shoulder as I wrapped mine around his back and gave him a hug. Kev kissed my head and walked out the front door.

"Bye Big Brother!" I yelled out the door. Kevin turned back and waved to me as he walked towards his 4-Runner.

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