My first concert back! I was totally hyped. A month had passed and Fatima left the Backstreet Parade to go work on a music video with some new artist after the last concert.
We were now on our way to Kentucky. Emily and AJ had made up, but she stayed on the bus with the dancers because Amanda was having too good of a time with us and it would be too cruel to ask her to move back. Besides, Em had really begun to enjoy hanging out with Nef, Amy, Tae, Kristin, Denise, and Niki.
"....and Lord, please protect Gilli from hurting herself again," Howie finished the group prayer, squeezing my hand. "Amen." We put our hands together in a circle and everyone yelled, "BACKSTREET!!!!"
"BSB! What time is it?"
"It's time to go to work, now!"
"What kind of work?"
"Hard work, hoh!" We all hugged and I began to get all jittering, the adrenaline rush kicking in. Amanda, Emily, Amy, and Denise all gave me hugs and wished me good luck as I went back to the corner where we dancers hung out until it was our time to go onstage.
"STEPH! You're back!" Nef whispered as I crept over to their corner on the side stage. The four girls were warming their muscles up while we ignored the wave of screams that quickly surrounded us. She reached over and gave me a hug as I sat beside her on the floor to do straddle stretches. Tae was standing up, doing bautmas, Kristin was lying on her back, pulling her straight leg into her chest, and Niki was doing the splits. Nef was sitting straight up, pulling her extended right leg into her chest. I stretched my legs, then my arms. Finally, we all stood up, checked the shoelaces on our dance sneakers, and got ready to dance our butts off. I was pumped. We gave each other one big group hug, let out one loud, excited scream (like at every concert--it helped us release our jitteryness), and made sure our outfits were on the rack beside us. At the moment, we were wearing silver dance pants with red stripes down the legs, and red half tops. I hated the half top, but I had been working on my stomach everyday so that I wouldn't look so bad in it.
At last, the cue came and we crept on stage to begin the first dance.
"You're the one for me, you're my ecstacy, you're the one I neeeeeeeeedddddddd!" the guys sang in their five-part harmony. The lights went crazy when the music started and we began to dance. I had on a silver hat that I always wore because the wardrobe designers were told I was a hat person and made a hat to match almost all of my outfits. A lot of the time, AJ and I had matching hats. Our hair was in high ponytails, so I had mine hanging out the hole in the back. The five of us girls went out to hype the boys and join them in the choregraphed dance. They enjoyed it. During the free-styling, we would all run around the stage, dancing. I would run up to the boys or they to me and dance with them or make faces at them. Howie would always turn around to smile or wink at me. We girls jumped around, goofed off, then did the dance. At the end of the song, we disappeared offstage.
As soon as we were on the side stage, the five of us snagged our water bottles then changed outfits. The next one would be baggy blue pants, black leotards, and blue shirts to hang over them. For that one, I had a blue fisherman hat because we wore our hair in low pigtails. We didn't always have time to run around to another room, so the five of us always changed right on the side, after closing the door that opened right to the stage. As soon as our next cue came, we jetted out on stage and began our next dance.
This whole thing was like a dance recital, over and over. Only, it was tons easier. See, once you get up there every few nights, it becomes your home. The first few times, I got the jitters and was so nervous! After a few months though, it became so comfortable because we had fans responding to the performances, instead of sitting there, watching. When I did recitals when I was little, that had to be the most nerve-wracking thing...dancing on stage while the audience was completely quiet. To have them respond to what we were doing told us that they enjoyed it, making us love doing it even more. Plus, having the guys up there to give us warm smiles and tease us made dancing more worth it. They would talk to the audience about us or have the audience yell at us. Sometimes they'd talk to us and make us respond through the mikes. It was awesome. I loved them all so much and knew I couldn't live without my job OR them. It would be impossible.
"Hey guys, whaddya say we...uhhh...do something for the dancers?" Brian called after they finished the song and we dancers began to sneak off stage. They called us back out and over to them. The guys were all sitting down on the edge of the stage, where there were a few feet of difference between the screaming fans and the stage. Q came over and stood in front of them just to be cautious. Slightly sweating, the five of us all walked back out and made our way to the front of the stage, where the guys were.
Howie patted a spot next to him for me to sit. I squeezed between him and Nicky. Tae went over and sat next to Kevin and Brian, Nef sat beside AJ, Kristin sat between Brian and Nick, and Niki sat between Kevin and AJ. Howie wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. Nick did the same. Meanwhile, cameras were vigorously going off.
"If you've been to our concerts before or watched us on TV, you will recognize these girls. If not, these girls are our Backstreet Girls. That over there is Nefertiti. Wave Nef!" Brian called, pointing to Nef over on the end. "Between Bone and Kev is Niki. This here is Tae. On my other side is Kristin, and that's good ol' Gilli. These girls have been our dancers for, what? A year or two..." Brock looked at the guys.
"About two years," Howie said into the mic.
"Yeah, a year or two," Kevin agreed.
"And these girls keep us straight! They whoop our butts if we don't get something right. 'Specially Tae and Steph over there," Brock continued.
"It's a conspiracy," Nick noted, looking at the two of us. I shoved him, laughing.
"Gilli just recovered from a broken ankle, so we're glad to have her back. This is her first performance of the tour so we're really excited and hope she gets through it without hurting herself!" Howie replied, pulling off my hat. I looked at him then reached to get it back. He laughed, holding it out of my arm spand. I grabbed at the hat, then his arm. Chuckling at my struggle to get the hat, D fell back on his elbows. I quickly snatched the hat and stuck it back on my head, laughing myself. A few girls continued randomly yelling, but most of them were pretty quiet. Suddenly, we noticed Q holding a little 3-year-old girl. The blonde was holding a white rose.
"Who do you want to give it to, sweetie?" Q whispered to her.
"Kevin!" she whispered back. Q carried her over to Kev and she handed him the rose she had in her hand. Kevin kissed her cheek and gave her a big hug, telling her thank you.
"What's your name, sweetie?" Kevin asked her.
"Kristina!" she said really loudly.
"Where's your mom?"
"She's right over there!" Kristina pointed out her mother, who was right behind where Q was. Her mother waved at her and took a picture. Kevin reached over and grabbed Kristina from Q and sat her on his lap.
"Well Kristina, what's your favorite song?" he wanted to know.
"Everybody--Backstreet'sback!" Kristina excitedly cried. AJ reached over to give her a high five.
"ALRIGHT! You're my kinda girl!" J joked. Kristina proudly smacked his raised hand. Meanwhile, her mother was taking pictures like crazy. Girls were screaming and crying.
"Would you like us to sing it for you?" Brian asked, leaning forward to look at Kristina. She nodded her head vigorously, a huge smile forming. "Well I'll tell you what. When we sing that song, we'll sing it just for you okay? And maybe we'll have you come up on stage with us okay?"
"OKAY!!!!!" Kristina yelled, getting even more excited.
"But for right now, we're gunna hand you back to your mom so you can watch the rest of the show okay?" Kevin said to his little fan.
"Okay..." Kristina sighed. Then she turned around and gave Kevin a kiss on the cheek. He chuckled a little as he handed the three-year-old back to Q. Once she was back in her mother's arms, Kristina waved to all of us. We smiled and waved back.
"Well, we'd just like to extend our thanks to all of you for stickin' with us throughout the years..." Brian began again. The screams got increasingly louder. He raised his voice as well. "And if it weren't for you guys right now, we wouldn't be doing what we are now!!" The fans went wild.
"Thank you much!" Howie added. They all got up, giving us dancers hands to help us up, then got to the places for their next song. Within seconds, the song started. "It's Gotta Be You" to be exact. The screams would not die down. Signs in the audience waved around frantically as girls tried to dance. We girls did this fun little dance, then hyped up the crowd and the boys. We jumped around and went insane. AJ took my hat and stuck it on his head, then went off dancing on the other side of the stage. I quickly went back to retrieve it, taking his sunglasses with me as I went. Not much later, he came chasing after me to get them back. We gave each other the same nasty look, then split. The boys (especially AJ) always loved taking my hat. Never figured out why exactly.
When the song ended, we girls cleared the stage for a wardrobe change. They were already a half hour into the show, and we had about two hours left.
"I love being back here!" I sighed as we changed clothes in front of each other. It was no big deal anymore. Just like getting dressed during recitals, and besides, it wasn't like the boys were there. No biggie.
Nef slipped on her white tanktop. "I really missed you those first couple of shows. I missed making faces at you and stuff," she told me. I laughed and told her I did too. I pulled the silky pink pants over my tights, then put on the white tanktop.
"I HATE PINK!!!" I whined. The four girls rolled their eyes. I said that every time I put that outfit on. Tae stuck my pimp hat on my head. There was a knock at the door to backstage and, after making sure everyone was dressed, Kristin opened it. Ro Ro was standing there. Reggie, Ed, Swoop, and Sleepy were right behind him. They were in their silky, sea green pants and white wife beaters.
"Time to perform. Ready y'all?" Swoop announced with a fake Texan accent. Tae put her arm around his shoulders.
"Let the show begin," she said to her dance partner. Reggie walked past me to the stage door. I grabbed his shoulders and followed him out. The ten of us stood quietly in the dark, right outside the door and waited for the stagehands to put the chairs in their spots. Then, some music came on and the guys began their dance. They were all cute, one had to admit, so plenty of girls screamed when they saw cute men in silky pajama bottoms and wife beaters. We dancers had to laugh when we heard the fans' reactions. As soon as the boys' solo was over, we girls went out to join them. We all did an eight minute dance together, then the BSB joined us in the back for the last part.
After the dance, Swoop, Ed, Ro Ro, Sleepy, and Reggie left and we girls sat around at the back of the stage while the guys sang "I Want It That Way." We joined them during that dance. When the song was over with, they started on "All I Have To Give," which we of course joined them for. That song ended and we left the stage while the guys sang some ballads and talked with the crowd some more.
In the dressing area, we changed into our jeans and shirts for "Everybody." The guys came through and did some dancing while the boys left the stage to get changed as well. When the five dancers came running back through the door, we knew it was time, so we snuck to the back of the stage and got in our places. The boys soon joined us. Then, Emo, Reggie, Sleepy, Swoop, and Ro Ro quickly ran out to get in their places. Soon, Brian started. A little bit of pyro flew up and the lights came on. Screaming filled the stadium. This was always one of my favorite dances because we were all dancing non-stop, from beginning to end. During one of the parts, Kevin jumped offstage and went to get little Kristina to bring her onstage. He set her on the stage, then pulled himself up. Kev walked around with Kristina and danced with her while singing into the mic on his head. The rest of us continued to do the dance, yet each of the guys would stop and sing to Kristina, and play with her. Her mother was pretty much in tears and taking picture upon picture. When the song was over, the guys all went to kiss Kristina's hand and give her a hug, then Kevin gave her to Q, who handed her to her mother.
"Whad y'all think of Kristina?" Brian asked the audience. AJ held his hand to his ear while everyone screamed. Howie laughed, pumping his arms up and down--signaling the crowd to scream louder. The screaming increased, then died down.
"Thank you Kristina for dancing with me!" Kevin called into his mic, waving at her. Nick blew her a kiss. She giggled and waved back.
More dancing, more singing, then the concert finally ended. It felt great to be dancing again. I had the best time, and I was totally looking forward to more concerts where I could continue doing what I loved.
"It's almost one o' clock! Turn on the TV!" AJ cried. I sat down on the couch next to him, wearing my boxers and Mr. Hankey t-shirt. Nick reached for the remote and turned it on, searching for Comedy Central. While he was looking for it, Kevin walked in with a bowl of popcorn and sat on the floor, next to Howie. Brian crammed beside me, shutting the door behind him. Finally, Nick found the station and stopped.
"I'm goin' down to South Park gunna have myself a time..." the TV played. We made sure it wasn't too loud to wake Amanda up, but loud enough so that we could understand what Stan, Kyle, and Cartman were saying. AJ began to sing the theme song at a low tone. The show started and we sat watching it intently. It was a new episode, which made the rest of us happy because we didn't have the problem of listening to AJ recite the lines of the show. (Fans got him every South Park videotape out on market. He had, like, multiple copies of each volume!)
We were about ten minutes into the show, when we heard the door softly open. A very sleepy Amanda stood right there. Brian immediately got up.
"We wake you up, Manda?" Kevin asked, extremely concerned.
"Anyone got earplugs?" she asked, instead of answering him. I got up from my snug spot on the couch and walked past Manda, and straight to my drawer. I pulled a pair of earplugs that I always kept out.
"Here. I always take these wherever I go with them because I can get headaches from screaming fans sooo easily," I said, smiling at Amanda. She returned the smile and graciously took the earplugs from the palm of my hand. Then, the sleepy girl climbed back into her bunk across from Brock's, closing the curtains behind her. I shut the door behind me, right as the commercial break ended.
"One of these days, B-Rok. We'll break 'er in. Trust me. It took awhile to get Em into it, but we can do it," AJ assured Bri. Brock lightly chuckled as he got back in his spot once I sat down.
"SHHHH!" Nick shushed us, trying to listen to something dumb Cartman was saying. To make it worse, AJ retortedly answered back with some smart-alleck Cartman remark. I took a pillow from behind my back and smacked him in the face. He glared at me, then turned back to the TV, as did I. We watched intently for the full thirty minutes, bursting out in laughter at the funny parts (which was most of the show). I knew that J would be repeating Cartman for the next week, until we watched the next episode. He drove us crazy all the time--
"GO IKE!" I cried, when my favorite little brother came on the screen. He looked like a trash can with his mouth. Ike's Circumsion was probably one of my favorite episodes, but the six of us all loved the Christmas one, the Devil vs. Jesus one, and the "You Will Respect My Authoritaaaa!" one. AJ, Nick, Brian, Kevin, and Howie all turned and looked at me, then J grabbed the pillow and smacked me upside the head. I giggled and said, "I'll shut up now."
"You better," Brian sighed under his breath while turning his head back towards the television. I jokingly stuck my tongue out at the back of his head. "I saw that!" Brock snapped, pointing his finger over his shoulder at me.
"Yeah yeah whatevah Fishhead," I muttered, tugging at his extended finger.
"If you guys both don't shut up, I'm gunna kick you out!" Nick replied. He looked up at the screen. "AH MAN! It's already over with! You ruined it!"
"Don't worry Nicky. There's always Saturday and Sunday. Chill," Howie told him. I yawned and got up.
"I'm gettin' to bed," I announced.
"No Bob and Margaret?" AJ asked.
"Nah. That show's retarded," I sighed, looking back at him. Yawning again, I gave D a kiss and walked over to my bunk.
"How do you manage it?" Nick asked, looking up at Howie.
"What?" D wanted to know, confused.
"Well geez. You're going out with your best friend. Kissing someone you grew up with. Living with the person you grew up with and know everything about. Isn't it scary?" Nicky clarified.
"Well, when you grow up loving someone it's easier to fall in love with that person. Plus, she knows everything about you guys, loves you guys, and understands everything about our profession. AND she's involved in our profession. It's tons easier to go out with someone who isn't changing her lifestyle so that she can make time for you and your lifestyle," Howie explained the best he could.
"Aren't you ever afraid that if you break up, you'll lose your lifelong friendship?" Nick inquired.
"Why and how would they break up Nick? They know everything about each other, have grown accustomed to each other, and have been best friends for sixteen years," Kevin cut in. "It would be kinda tough for them to split now."
"Well, there's always the chance we could get sick of being a couple and just go back to being best friends..." Howie pointed out. All was silent.
"Well, I dunno bout you guys, but I'm gunna hit the sack," Brian replied. He got up from his spot and followed in my footsteps.
"Any uh you guys notice how tight he and Amanda have gotten since the beginning of the tour?" Nick asked.
"GEEZ Nick! What is it with you and relationships tonight?" AJ broke in.
"I was just curious!" he answered. "I dun-no bout you guys, but I've been seein' it. You, Kevin?"
"Well, I am his cousin," Kev shrugged. "I would say they're pretty serious now. But exactly how serious could one get if they were in a relationship with BRIAN for gosh sake..."
"Got a point there..." Howie sighed.
"I HEARD THAT!" Brian stuck his head through a crack in the door.
"Go away, B-Rok," AJ sighed. "You're the tired one." Brock shut the door and they could hear him climb into his bunk.
"Quick. Someone else leave so that Nick can talk about you now," D joked.
"Kevin! Go to bed!" Bone played along.
"Yeah. We could get juicy on you and Danielle," Howie teased.
"Geez!! You're like a bunch of little magpies. Little girls gossiping!" Kev remarked. "I'm tired anyways. But don't say anything bad! And whatever you figure out, I assure you it's probably a figment of your imagination. Night guys."
"Oh Kev, I'm sure it'll be good," Howie kept up, winking at the sleepy twenty-eight-year-old. As soon as the door shut, the guys started up again.
"Kevin is totally into Dani. Why doesn't he just admit it?" Nick asked. Bone rolled his eyes, chuckling. He couldn't believe that little boy wouldn't quit.
"Honestly Nick, I don't know. Kevin's just scared. He also doesn't want to realize that he really does like her..." Howie suggested.
"Okay now Nick. I think it's your turn to get to bed, so we can talk about you," AJ sarcastically said.
"What's there to talk about? We don't have any problems," Nick replied.
"What about Lisa then? You seem to talk about her a lot. You got Amy worried," J pointed out. "And a little jealous..."
"I swear, there ain't nothin to talk about," Nick tried to defend himself.
"Aw come on. Do you like Lisa too?" AJ begged to get it out of him.
"NO!" Nick cried automatically.
"You're doing an awful job at convincing everyone..." Howie added.
"Aw guys. Come on! Isn't it obvious that I love Amy with all my heart?!" Nick tried to tell them, getting rather frustrated.
"Not lately. Seriously Nicky, I suggest you sit down and figure it all out. It helps. Trust me on this one," Howie advised, patting Nick's forearm. "I'm going to bed though. Night."
"I'm right with ya D," AJ replied, getting up from his spot. "Night Nick." Nick waved good night to his 'brothers' and sat in the dark room by himself, Bob and Margaret on the screen as the one sole light source. The door quietly shut and Nick threw the pillow as hard as he could.
"MAN!" he began to cry.