"Hey Steph, look at this boy!" Nick whispered to me, holding Brian's curtain open. I leaned over and stared at Brian's tear-stained face and pillow. When Brock made the slightest twitch, we both jumped back and scrambled to get into the back room and turn on the TV. Brian walked in, rubbing his eyes.
"What time is it guys?" he wondered. I looked up at a clock on the wall.
"It's about 8:38," I informed him.
"Thanks Steph," Brian mumbled before stepping into the bathroom.
"We definitely should not ask about where Amanda is right now. Save it for someone else to bring up," Nick told me. I agreed. "Like, Kevin."
"Dude. What is it with Kevin and Brian? I mean, both of them have been really secluded lately," I pointed out.
"I know. I think it's because Kevin is finally realizing his feelings for Danielle and Brian misses Amanda," Nick said. Then, he leaned towards me, "Ya know, Gilli, I think I may have gone too far with the marriage jokes."
"Stop worrying about that Nicky. I really don't think Brian took any of those seriously," I tried to comfort him.
"He did. Everytime I would blurt out something about marriage, he would completely shut down or not say anything. Either that or he would wig out and snap at someone. Brian was probably really afraid of what was happening between him and Amanda," Nick explained. I trusted what he was saying because he knew Brian the best, besides Kevin. We fell quiet when Brian walked out of the bathroom.
Then, everyone started waking up and our conversation had to end. The dogs were still asleep in Emily's old bunk, but AJ started bugging them and made them mad. We all grabbed something to eat and sat around quietly. I went to the stereo system, turned on the radio, and found an oldies station. Howie and I had always listened to oldies stations all our lives. We used to put on performances for ourselves in one of our bedrooms, singing into hairbrushes, in the mirrors, and to each other. We would overdramatize everything. I took a shower and, when I got out, one of my favorite songs came on. Howie grabbed my hand and pulled me over to him, causing me to drop everything in my hands.
"Sugar....aww honey, honey....you are my candy giiiirrrrllll and you got me wanting you..." he sang along with the music. I laughed and joined in, using gestures and dancing around. AJ grabbed the Polaroid and snapped one of us singing. When we finished our little performance, the two of us exchanged a kiss (which Nicky took a pic of and wrote on the white tab "Isn't this too weird for words??") and waited for the next song. It was "Barbara Ann" by the Beach Boys, which made me and Nick very happy, considering we were both huge Beach Boys fans.
"I miss Barbara," Brian whined, speaking of their missing sheep. Howie threw a stuffed rabbit he had gotten from a fan the previous night at him.
"There. That should make you happy," D joked.
"Hey! This is kinda cute. We should name it...." Bri thought.
"We should name it MARY!" I cried. Howie laughed. When I was little, I had this thing where I had to name everything I had Mary. This included a small stuffed bunny I had gotten when I was a baby. Mary was my favorite thing ever. I took her everywhere I went. When I left her at Howie's house, he or his parents would always have to walk it back to my house.
"Mary Margaret Ann Louise," Nick rolled out.
"MMAL for short."
"Man Kaos. How the hell we gunna remember that name?" AJ asked. Nick shrugged, chuckling to himself.
"OH HOWIE! Listen to this!" I suddenly burst out. "Sugar pie, honey bunch. Sugar pie, honey bunch. You know that I love you...I can't help myself....I love you and nobody else..." The two of us were totally enjoying the time we were having. The next song was
"Last Kiss." After that was "Henery the VIII, I Am" by Herman's Hermits. We all loved the song, so all six of us began to sing at the top of our lungs with the english accents.
"Bobby's Girl" came on after that. Nick changed it to Howie and sang it to him, with AJ joining in. D and I laughed so hard! "You Can't Hurry Love" soon followed. I began to imitate the Supremes, diverting the attention away from Brian, who was taking in the message of the song.
"Man this is a good station!" I cried, as
"American Pie" started. I was now dancing around.
"There goes Dancer Girl, the FREAK!" AJ shrieked. We all busted up. "Come on Gilli, you're shakin' the bus!" The song ended and I sat down, grabbing my glass of water. "The Energizer Dancer, that's what they oughta call you. You have more frickin' energy than I do, Gilli. That's just not right." As soon as I sat down, I was back up again. It was "Mony Mony." Another one of my favorite songs. This time I took Howie by the hand and had him get up and dance with me. Kevin pulled out his videocamera and began to videotape us. I made faces at the camera, sang to it, Hit it with my hip...everything.
"Here she is, folks. The REAL life of OUR party!" Kevin said. "People want to know how we're able to do it again and again and again. Well, here she is. Our secret to success: employ your best friend who also happens to be completely insane and full of life. Believe me, it works." I looked at Kevin and blew his camera a kiss.
A little out of breath, I sat down. "Okay. You can turn it off now, Kev," I said to him. Kevin turned off the videocamera and set it aside. "When you live on a bus, you run out of ideas so quickly..."
"Whaddya say we call Dani," AJ suggested.
"Oh no we shouldn't. It's really early in the morning and she's probably still asleep," Brian suddenly cried. Nick and I looked at each other, not surprised.
"It's hasn't stopped us before B-Rok. Besides, she loves talking to us," AJ argued.
"Yeah, but she's probably resting after
spending a few days on a bus and a plane and hanging out with us. Don't bother her AJ," Kevin added. Howie then grabbed the cell out of AJ's hand.
"Well then, I'm going to call my mom. I miss her," Howie declared. I walked over to my bunk lazily and climbed in it. Muchacho followed me in.
"Goin to sleep, Gilli?" Nick called.
"Yeah. I'm bushed. After yesterday...later guys," I yawned, stuck my headsets on, and fell asleep.
When I woke up, we were still travelling. I checked my watch. I had been sleeping for about 3 hours. The guys were talking in the back room and the door was shut. I knocked, just in case they didn't want me in there. I heard Howie yell "Come in" and opened the door. AJ, Nick, Howie, and Kevin were talking.
"Um guys, where's Brian?" I asked them.
"He's upset right now. We found out that Amanda had to leave on business. They made her go back to work," Howie explained. The rest of the guys fell silent.
"I hope Brock's okay," I softly replied. Howie smiled at me. The music was still going. They never turned it off once it was on. Just down.
"If you guys don't mind, I'm going to go and have a talk with him. Please don't come in until I let you know, okay. We really need to have a talk. Just the two of us," Kevin announced, getting up. The rest of us agreed to sit in the back and let them alone.
"Talk about F*R*I*E*N*D*S episodes," I muttered. AJ, Nick, and Howie gave me a weird look. "Don't tell me you don't remember that episode when Ross and Rachel kept the rest of them in Rachel's room, locked up. And everyone was starving because they were in there for hours? You guys have, like, no memory whatsoever."
"Well, see Gilli, F*R*I*E*N*D*S for you is like 90210 for anyone else. You watch it religiously!" AJ sarcastically remarked.
"Besides, we have sodas and waters and crap stashed back here."
"When will we get back to Florida?" I changed the subject.
"Uhh...we're stopping in Knoxville, then Atlanta. Then we'll head straight for Tampa. I think we'll be there in like a week or so. The guys and I have to make an appearance at the Planet Hollywood in Atlanta. So that will take like a day. But it shouldn't be that bad. And we'll see if you guys can come with us," Howie explained.
"Ahhh...thank you! I can't wait to get off this bus and see--" I started, before I was interrupted by AJ.
"My doggies!" he cried. I rolled my eyes and chucked a pillow at him.
"Yeah I know!" Nick added. The two had their shih tzus, boxer, and pugs at home. Nicky's pugs and boxer were staying with a friend and he had begun to miss them a lot.
Unfortunately, we couldn't have nice dogs on one bus. That would just be insane. I looked over at my chihuahua, asleep in Howie's lap.
"D, do you want my dog? He likes you more than he likes me," I pointed out.
"But he was a gift to you from us, Gilli," Howie argued.
"I know, but he likes you so much and besides, I'm thinking about getting another dog," I said.
"Really? What type of dog are you thinkin about G?" AJ asked me.
"Well, I was seriously thinkin about getting a schnauzer. My friend has one and it's the sweetest thing to me," I told them. "They're really cute, too, with their goatees."
"Don't like your dog?! You better not hurt his feelings!" D joked, covering Chachi's big ears.
"Well maybe I'll keep Chachi and get a schnauzer...if they get along. But I'll adopt the schnauzer from the pound or something." I laid my head back and yawned a little. Nicky leaned over on with his elbows on his knees and looked over at the closed door.
"What's it been, an hour? They're takin forever!" he exclaimed.
"Wanna play Mario Kart, Nicky?" I offered. Nick's face brightened a little as he looked over at me. The one thing that could brighten that boy's day was an offer to play something Nintendo. We whipped out the controls and playstation and turned it on. We played a few games, me losing every one, then put it away.
"Who's up for quadruple solitaire?" AJ wanted to know. We got out four decks of cards and played that for about an hour. Then it was Party Pictionary. By the time we were done with our fifth round of Pictionary, the door opened.
"Sorry guys, I forgot you were back here," Kevin apologized.
"Aw MAN! You mean we coulda been outta here two hours ago?" Nick cried. Kev nodded his head. "AW MAN!!" AJ tossed his pen at Nick and started gathering up the Pictionary things. When we finished cleaning up, the four of us made for the fridge. I sat on the ground before the refridgerator with the other three hovering over me as we gazed into it. Nick reached over my shoulder and grabbed a yogurt. Howie opened up the cabinet over the sink and got out some of his herbal tea. He always made some. Most of the time I shared it with him, so I asked him to make me a cup as well. AJ took out a candy bar he had stolen from the band's food table in their dressing room in Lexington out of the freezer. Angie had made it a rule that the BSB and the dancers could not have candy in their dressing rooms. That didn't stop any of us from stealing food from the band's room. Kevin had a thing of peanut butter and was eating it straight out of the container with a spoon. I grabbed some carrots and sat across Kev at the table and began to stick my carrots in the container. We sat in silence for a little while, then noticed that Brian wasn't around.
"Where's Brian now?" I broke out with curiosity.
"He's takin a nap right now," Kevin answered. I sighed. That boy's pain was just so strong it was as if his aura had engulfed us all. It had been a long day. My watch told me it was about 4:15.
"I'm gunna go see my boys be #1 on TRL. Anyone care to join me?" I offered. AJ joined me in the back, but he was soon followed by Howie, Nick, and finally, Kevin. I turned on MTV and the wonderful, scene-stealing *N SYNC was on with their cheesy video, "I Drive Myself Crazy."
"Buncha copycats..." AJ mumbled. "Did you know that that one right there" (he pointed to Joey.) "started dying his hair different colors, after I grew my hair out??"
"Yes! I was like 'what's up with that?' " I agreed. "This is a retarded video anyways. But who cares? It's #2. You guys know you're #1 so you don't even have to worry!" We sat through the commercials and waited until Carson came back to talk nice about his favorite boys. It was always quite evident that Carson favored the BSB and Zac Hanson. After his mouthful of compliments (the usual from sweet Carson), the BSB's video came on. I sat in front of the TV and watched my boys. Brian snuck in and watched it with us.
"Brian, what's this? I mean, what is it with your hand?" I cried when the Brian in the video held up his hand during the "believe when I say" part. Brian shrugged at me. I shook my head and turned around. I began to imitate the boys and dance in my seat to the song. Kevin's part came and I reached behind me to hug his bent legs. "Kevy! You have your own part! Imagine how happy that made fans....AJ, you're so spastic sometimes..." AJ gave me a confused look then laughed to himself. "Sweetie, what's with this?" I asked when Howie on the TV sang "you are...my fire..." Howie shrugged as well. I loved critiquing the boys when it came to their videos.
"Ya know, the part when you're with a bunch of girls, that's the cutest part. Because you let the fans see the real you. And all throughout the video, AJ and Nick, you guys act like best friends!" I commented when the video ended. "This is probably your best video yet. You guys have finally grown up!"
They all looked at me and laughed. Nick turned the TV off and we sat around some more.
"Steph, why do you do that?" he wanted to know.
"Do what?" I was curious.
"Critique everything we do," he informed me.
"Because I LOVE you, that's why, Nicky," I told him. Brian went back into his bunk, carrying Tyke with him. We got out Monopoly and I turned the radio back on. The song was
"Who Put the Bomp?" While setting up, the five of us sang and I acted the song out theatrically. I grabbed my water bottle and took a swig of the water. We drank so much water on the bus. As soon as the song ended, Nick got up and went to the dial.
"I'm sick of listening to all this oldies music," he declared. Nicky turned the dial until he came across the Bone Thugs 'N Harmony's "Crossroads." We all loved that song so he kept it.
The game lasted for four hours. By the time we were sick of it, Howie was winning and AJ and I had gone bankrupt. The game had begun to suck halfway through. After I was kicked out, I went and made myself a sandwich. Then I grabbed a deck of cards and began to play a game by myself.
"Whoa listen to this! It's the original version of Wild Wild West!" Nick cried. "Kool Mo Dee's version. This is funky! I like it!" I got up and began to dance to it. The guys all rolled their eyes at me. Sometimes it annoyed them that I was always dancing around the bus. AJ had found a bumper sticker that said "Beware Of Dancer" and taped it on the door that separated the driver from the main part of the bus. Then Nick and Howie made a sign and stuck it on the ceiling's mirror that said "Following Signs Indicate Obsessive Dancer Is On Loose: 1)shaking bus 2)complaining inhabitants 3)blasting music 4)lots of empty space 5)lack of breakable or damaging objects on display 6)earplugs everywhere 7)singing...BAD singing 8)excessive bump-and-grinding 9)dance shoes everywhere 10)extremely energetic person is spotted lurking around bus." The guys always teased me about dancing all the time. They took me to clubs to cool me down, but it never worked. They tried to wear me down. Never worked. The next song on was, who would've guessed, "I Want It That Way."
"Okay. Who votes that they're sick of this song?" Kevin asked. All of us raised our hands. I got up and changed the station.
"Singin the song every week...do you have to hear it on the radio too?" AJ replied. We all agreed. The song got old when you had to listen to it around the clock and sing and dance to it. For fans it was different. We couldn't understand how they could all listen to a cd for a whole year straight.
"So we're gunna be in Knoxville..." I started, hoping someone would finish me.
"By tomorrow. It's not that far away really. As long as you take the main highway. The rest of the buses are going straight to Tampa but ours is taking this detour because we have to hit Atlanta for Planet Hollywood and a radio station in Knoxville wanted us to do an interview," Kev explained to me. "We should be in Florida in about a week or so."
The four of us sat back and relaxed. A week before we got a break at home sweet home.
The guys cleaned up Monopoly and turned on the TV. I snuck out to sit in the front room. There, I pulled a water bottle out of the fridge and grabbed the cell phone.
"Hello Dani?" I was talking with a soft voice, so Kevin wouldn't hear me. Luckily, the door was shut so that the guys wouldn't wake Brian.
"Gilli! What's up girl?" she cried into the phone, happy to hear one of our voices.
"Nothin much. How bout you? Did Amanda make it home safely?" I wanted to know.
"Uh yeah. Hey Steph, what happened over there?" Dani asked me. I sighed and lowered my voice even more.
"Okay. Promise not to let any of them in on my knowing this okay?" I began. Danielle promised and I continued. "The dancers, Nick, and I figured out that Brian freaked out about marriage and he decided to get away from Manda because he wasn't prepared for it. But you can't tell anyone that we know this. Manda doesn't even know....oh my god! I am sooo bad at this gossip thing! Shoot me Dani. Just shoot me right now! I'm such a bad gossiper! UG!" Dani laughed at me.
"Gill, don't worry. You know I won't tell a soul. Amanda did seem upset when she came into the office this morning. So I told her to go home and I'll take her place for awhile. The girl was on the verge of tears when she came in. Her eyes were all droopy and puffy and she was really pale when she came in. I felt so sorry for the girl!" Danielle explained. "How did that blind date Kevin went on go?"
"I don't know. He won't talk about it. I'm sure you'll get it out of him when we get home Dani. You're the only one he'll talk to. You and Brian. And Brian's been sleeping most of the day. He won't talk to ANYONE. To tell you the truth, I don't know how the heck he's gunna be able to do those interviews. The boy can't even talk to us," I told her.
"I hope he does okay. How's everyone else? Are AJ and Emily doing okay? And how about Nick and Amy? And you and Howie," Dani asked.
"Howie and I are doing fine. I don't see how we could fight about anything. We've known each other too long," I said.
"Yeah, well everyone's gunna fight about something, no matter HOW LONG they've known each other," Dani pointed out.
"I know. But so far nothing's happened. AJ and Emily are doing fine. I don't know about Nick and Amy though. He hasn't talked about Lisa in awhile, so I don't know if they patched things up or if he's just too scared to admit anything. He'll figure it out someday though. Like, when we get back to Florida. But so far, I don't know," I informed Danielle. Just then, I saw Brian crawling out of his bunk. "Oh Dani I gotta go. Brian's up now. Talk to ya later okay?"
"Yeah okay. Bye Steph," Dani replied, before we hung up.
"Hey Brian, what's up? How was your nap?" I asked Brock when he joined me at the table.
"Hey Steph. It was okay. I just wish I were home right now. I'm really worn down after the concert and being in Kentucky," Brian explained to me.
"I see. Miss Manda?" I found myself saying, by accident. Brian's head shot up.
"Please Steph, I really don't want to get on that subject right now," he sighed. I could feel the pain he was expressing. It was soo visible in his crystal clear, blue eyes. I kept quiet.
"Boy, with all that sleeping you did, you'll be up all night tonight!" I tried to lighten the tension in the air.
"Naahh...I'll be hittin the sack early tonight, actually," Bri corrected me. Just then, he spotted his chihuahua. "Here Tyke. Come here boy," he called. Tyke lazily walked over to Brian and allowed him to pick him up.
"Brian, if there's anything you need to talk about, you know you can talk to me. I am the only girl on this bus," I said to him.
"Yeah Gilli. Hey, thanks too. For being here for me. Don't hate me if I wake you up in the middle of the night though, okay?" he told me, trying to add some humor. I smiled and chuckled a little.
"Don't worry, Brock. You know I love ya."