"Well guys, that certainly was interesting, don'tcha think?" AJ sighed as they met me outside the radio station's building.
"Whaddya say we go see a movie? I haven't seen any good ones lately."
"J, we just went and saw one in Kentucky. What are you talking about?" I cried.
"Not me! I wasn't with you!" he told me. I forgot that it was just me, Howie, Nick, and Amy that time.
"Okay. What do you want to go see?" I asked.
"I heard there's a cineplex somewhere down the road. Let's go see what's playing," Brian suggested. He had been doing a little better. That night after the concert, he ended up waking me up around 2 in the morning to talk to me about Amanda. The poor boy bawled his eyes out during our conversation. I didn't get why he was so ashamed to cry in front of the guys. All of us had seen him break down before. That next morning, Bri was a lot more open and slept less. He was included in a lot more discussions and stuff. And we didn't force him. He wanted to get out more. He wanted to do things to get his mind off Amanda.
We found the cineplex and managed to sneak inside it without many people noticing. After signing a few autographs, the guys and I made it into the theater right as the opening credits began. It was dark enough so that people wouldn't recognize them when we found seats, so we considered ourselves pretty safe. The six of us sat together in the back row. I sat on the end of our group, Kevin on the other. Not ten minutes later, a young girl about the age of 16 plopped down in the empty seat beside me. She let out a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair.
"I know I don't know you but how's the movie so far? Did I miss anything? It took forever to convince the ticket person that I'm 18, when I'm really not but..." she said to me. I giggled and turned to face her.
"It's just starting. Nothing really happened. But that guy, he just got sent on this case. That's it," I told her.
"Really? Okay thanks. Yeah. The stupid ticket person wouldn't let me in. My 18 year old friend got here before I did so she's already in here and I had to buy my ticket myself. That was a mess. Then I was about to get a coke but the line was so long and the concession stand people are soo slow! I mean how long does it possibly take to scoop out some popcorn and get a soda? It's ridiculous..." the girl rambled on. Howie looked over at her and me. I got his message.
"Um, the movie is on. Could we please just watch it?" I asked as politely as I could. The girl giggled.
"Oh yeah sure. I'm sorry bout that," she apologized. We sat back and watched the movie. It was a particularly scary and gory movie so, like every fifteen minutes I was curling up in my seat and gripping onto Howie's arm. He would look at me and laugh to himself.
The movie finally ended and we sat in there, the boys adjusting themselves constantly so that people wouldn't see their faces. We waited until the credits were done before we left. The girl did too because she was looking for her friend.
"Well, guess my friend didn't show up after all. Dang it! Thanks for letting me sit next to you and sorry for talking your--BRIAN?!" the girl screeched, interrupting her apology to me. Brian's head shot around and he looked at the girl. He squinted his eyes for a second before he finally recognized her.
"Rebecca?" he asked, unsure of who he thought she was.
"YEAH! OH MY GOD! I thought I'd never get to meet you guys! Oh this is so cool!" Rebecca exclaimed.
"Hey, can you keep it down? We don't want people to hear you," Howie asked her politely.
"Sure Howie...HOWIE...oh my god you're all here! Well, then who are you?" Rebecca wanted to know, pointing to me. I smiled.
"Oh Gilli? She's our best friend. Also one of our dancers. I've mentioned her in a few letters. Man, Rebecca. I can't believe I ran into you here. But wait. What are you doing over here? I thought you lived in South Carolina," Brian said.
"Yeah well I come to Knoxville every summer so here I am. I never told you?" Rebecca explained.
"If you did I'm so busy I probably just forgot. So what's up with you?" he tried to start a normal conversation with his longtime pen pal.
"Nothin, actually. I was just supposed to meet my friend Jessica here and I guess she never showed up. Now I don't have a ride home and...ug!" Rebecca got comfortable.
"Well, ya know we could drop you off at your house. We'll just go get in the bus and drive you there," Kevin suggested. Rebecca's eyes widened. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was all too good to be true.
"Oh my god! That would be sooo awesome! I'd get to ride in your bus! Oh my...oh god. I am sooo sorry about freaking out it's just that I never thought I'd ever get to meet you Brian! This is sooo cool. Oh gosh I can't believe this!" Rebecca replied. We all laughed.
"Listen, Becca, it's okay. Let's get going before more people start coming in for the next showing," Brian told her. We all gathered our things and headed out towards the back exit, where the bus was parked. As we neared the bus, Rebecca got jittery. It was all like a dream to her. She couldn't believe that she was going to be on THE Backstreet Bus, with THE Backstreet Boys. She had always known Brian for Brian and loved him the way she knew him in the letters. But it was like the letters were from a normal person, not a BACKSTREET BOY. Brian Littrell in writing and Brian from the BSB were almost two different people to her. Now she was getting the chance to meet him as a real person and it was surreal. We climbed on the bus and the two dogs ran up to us.
"Tyke?!" Rebecca screamed when she saw the tan chihuahua running up to Brock. Tyke stopped short and looked at the person who was calling his name, then ran over to Brian. Bri picked up his dog and began to pet him.
"Man, this place is a mess!" We all pointed to Brian and Nick. Kevin shut the door behind him and asked Rebecca where her house was. I handed her a pencil and pad of notepaper for her to write the directions down before the bus driver left. There wasn't much room in the front, so AJ led us all to the back room.
"So, what are you guys doing in Knoxville yourselves?" Rebecca wanted to know when we had gotten settled.
"We just did a radio interview and now we're headed for Atlanta for a press conference at Planet Hollywood," Howie said. Rebecca just could not take in that she was between Brian and Nick. It was too much for her. Suddenly, I got an idea. I walked back into the front room and grabbed the Polaroid from the couch it was on and went to the back.
"Okay Kev, D, and J. Get over next to Brock, Nicky, and Becca," I instructed. "Now smile!" Rebecca's face flushed and she sat there in disbelief as I took the picture. When it came out of the camera, I handed it to Rebecca and set the camera aside.
"Oh my god, thank you Gilli!" Rebecca told me. I smiled at her, hoping she wouldn't recognize anything....unfortunately she did.
"Wait a second. Are you on the internet?!?"
"Yeah I am," I quietly said.
"Are you dancer girl 143?!?!" I smiled and nodded my head yes. "Oh my god! So you really ARE their dancer?! You're not 16 like you said you were?"
"No not really," I informed her. Rebecca was completely beside herself.
"This is soo cool! So you were just lying to me the whole time?"
"Well yeah. I didn't want you to really know then ask me to get stuff for you. That's why you haven't heard from me for a long time. I didn't say anything, but I got rid of AOL because I didn't have time to sit on it all day," I explained.
"That explains why I never see you. Okaaayyyy...is this your dog?" Rebecca wondered when she saw the other chihuahua.
"Yeah. That's Muchacho. Hey, do you know of any good pounds down here or anything?" I asked. "Like an animal shelter or something?"
"There's one around the block from where I'm staying. All I ever hear is non-stop barking. It drives me insane!" I laughed. "Oh. We're almost home. Hey! This picture is really cute! Can I get one with you, though, Gilli?" I said sure and Howie took the picture of us.
The bus stopped in front of the house Rebecca's family rented and we all got up. The six of us walked her out to the door and gave our new-found friend hugs. She thanked us all and waved the pictures excitedly before realizing that she hadn't had them sign the picture. So we had to stop and get a pen for the guys to sign the pictures. Then more hugs went around before Rebecca walked out of the bus, then stood waving to us until we were no longer visible from her front lawn.
The next day, we were in Atlanta. The boys were scheduled for a press conference at Planet Hollywood at 10:30 in the morning. I was allowed to go in with the guys and stay on the side, away from the press and any type of recorders. Fans were allowed inside, so they were all screaming frantically. The guys walked in and to their seats at a long table, in front of at least 6 mics each, and cameras flashed and hands shot up. Suddenly, I spotted Amanda walking over to the other side and sitting down. A young man who must've been around my age sat beside her and stared intently at his surroundings, jotting notes down every few seconds. I jumped up and started waving to her from behind the boys' seats. Amanda smiled and waved back at me. I couldn't believe it. I started making eyes at Brock, trying to get his attention.
"Uh yes, in the green shirt?" Howie called upon one reporter with his hand up.
"Um yes. The rumor about you having girlfriends...is any of it true?" the reporter had hit the right spot. I looked directly at Amanda. Her eyes grew wide.
"Uh, yes. We all have girlfriends and are quite happy with them in our lives right now. As to names, we will not release that private information," D answered with that professionalism he had been taught. I looked back at Manda. She looked a little confused. I shrugged at her when she switched her glance back to me.
"yes, you in the brown jacket," Nick picked out another reporter.
"What are you current plans for your tour right now?"
"We are going home for a few days to visit our family and friends, then we will head straight for Alabama, as scheduled," Kevin answered. He called on the next reporter who asked the next question.
"AJ, how has your smoking habit affected your singing, if any?" AJ was shocked for a second. I could tell it in his actions. Fortunately, he had on sunglasses.
"I'll pass on that one," J reluctantly decided, smiling at the reporter. "Next?"
"How has your tour been so far?" another reporter shouted out. The guys all looked at each other.
"Um we're having a pretty good time so far," Howie said first.
"We went to New York for a few days then--" Nick added.
"We went home to Kentucky for the weekend. That was nice for Brian and me," Kevin finished.
"Yesterday we did a radio interview in Knoxville, so we're keepin' with the pace," AJ noted. Next, they were asked to sing "I Want It That Way." Each boy took a swig of water and they looked at each other, waiting for the cue from AJ. As soon as J began singing, the other four began to snap their fingers and bounce to the beat they had in their heads. After their performance, they stayed for a half hour longer, answering questions, rejecting questions, and joking around.
When the conference was finally over with, the guys exited the stage from the opposite side that they had arrived on. In almost an instant, Brian spotted Amanda. I tried to make my way through the crowd to them and ended up just walking over the stage to get to the boys, after getting past the guard. (When you're a dancer, it easy to duck out of the way slyly and smoothly...hehe.) I ran across the stage so that I wouldn't miss the guys and pushed my way through the crowd of annoying reporters trying to get a last word in. One of the guards spotted me and recognized me as the girl who came in with the boys and pulled me out of the mess and towards the guys. They had ducked into the restaurant, which was deserted and restricted to all reporters. There were huge curtains over the windows and doors as the guys had requested. Amanda and the young man were sitting at a booth. As soon as I got in the restaurant, Howie ran over and hugged me, happy that I was safely with them. Brian made his way over to Amanda.
"Oh my god, I'm glad you're here!" Brian cried, attempting to wrap his arms around her. Amanda moved away from his open arms and stood up. The young man was with her.
"We have to go. I'm just here on my job. Sorry guys. It was great seeing all of you again," Manda replied. She and the young man quickly walked out of the restaurant the back way. Brian sat down at the table Amanda was once at and put his head in the palm of his hands. I walked over and rubbed his back.
"I can't believe what I've done..." Brian mumbled. Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair and slumped back in his chair.
"Do you wanna go, Brian? I mean, we don't have to stay here," Nick told him. Brian nodded his head yes and we all got up and left the way Amanda did.
In the bus, Brian went back to his cubby. The five of us sat in the front room, the boys a little exhausted from the press conference.
They didn't want to do anything but sit around and rest. Those reporters were extremely annoying, more annoying than the fans themselves, but it was part of the job of being famous.
"Who was that guy with Manda?" Nick wanted to know. We all shrugged.
"Dani didn't mention him when I talked to her yesterday," I let on.
"WHAT?! You talked to her yesterday?" Kevin suddenly burst out. He tried not to show that he had any emotional feelings towards her but...
"Listen Kevin, can I tell you something?" AJ asked.
"Yeah sure. What's up bro?" Kev sat back and looked at AJ.
"Give it up man. We all know how much you love Dani. Just TELL HER! Before we all kill you!" J cried. Kevin was a little shocked. He didn't know what to say. He was completely speechless. We sat in silence for a few minutes.
"I....I just don't know what to say to her..." Kevin sighed. He was becoming stressed and upset. D and I looked at each other and smiled.
"Kevin, why don't you call her up and play that song of yours over the phone...'Back To Your Heart.' I'm sure she listens to it everyday. And trust me on this one. It works..." Howie suggested. He winked at me.
"Like a charm," I finished, kissing D on the cheek. We smiled at each other.
"Really think so?" Kev asked.
"Oh definitely," the two of us answered him. Kevin grinned at us and thanked Howie for the suggestion. At that moment, Brian slid out of his bunk and walked over to where the driver was. They had a quick discussion and Brock came back to join in on our conversation.
"We're going straight home to Florida. We're going to be home in two or three days," he announced.
"Wait B-Rok, that's like two days ahead of schedule," AJ pointed out.
"Yeah Bone. I know. And I need to talk to Manda as soon as possible. And doing it on the phone isn't going to help matters at all. I need to do it in person. It's obvious I can't live without that girl. I'm falling apart right now," Brian finally came out and told us. At that same moment, I was flicking through my cd case. I came across my George Strait Pure Country soundtrack. Kevin spotted this.
"Remember that song 'I Cross My Heart?' That he sang at the very end of the movie to the woman he loved?" Kev questioned his cousin. Brian thought and realized what Kevin was saying.
"Geez, now it's like you people are trying to steal my idea here!" Howie joked. I gave him a comforting hug.
"So what? I sing it into the phone to her? What will that do?" Brian cried.
"Wait. I thought she was just away on business. If that's so, then why are we talking about this 'I Cross My Heart' and why was she so cold to you at Planet Hollywood?!?" Howie brought up. He had a slight suspicion, but he didn't want to say what he thought was going on.
"We broke up. It would've been too hard to carry on a relationship with a job like hers and a job like mine," Brian sighed.
"BRIAN! Why don't you talk to me anymore? Man, if you had told me about this ahead of time, I could've saved you a lot of heartbreak by preventing you from doing something so stupid!" Kevin replied, in slight anger.
"Kevin, chill out a little. Cut him some slack. I mean, look at the poor boy and all the pain he's going through," I tried to calm Train down.
"No. Brian, I mean I love you and all, but just imagine what you're putting Amanda through right now. I mean, she thought she had really found the one man she would be with for the rest of her life. And you broke her heart. You broke it cruelly and thoughtlessly," Kevin annoyingly stated. He couldn't believe that someone would just go and repeat some dumb decision he had made. Brian listened intently to his cousin as his eyes welled up with tears. I left Howie's side and went over to Brian and pulled him into my arms to let him cry.
I was like their mother half the time. I was the one each of the boys cried on. They told me everything. In turn, I told them everything. We had grown up with each other, lived with each other, roughed it with each other through thick and thin. We comforted each other, we teased each other, we played jokes on each other. Through everything we had developed a special brothers-sister bond that we all needed, since we were all miles away from our real siblings. We had all helped each other mature and now that we were adults, we had to face adult problems together.
Brian's tears just streamed down his cheeks on and onto my shoulder. They were silent tears, he wasn't heaving and sobbing. Just tears that fell from his eyes to show the pain he was going through. Even the dogs could sense it. They stood by us and watched as everyone sat in silence. No fan would ever be able to cope with what was happening at the moment. They never got to see the real boys behind the Backstreet. Unfortunately, that was the most important, lovable aspect about each of the guys. Not one of the guys had had a moment where he never cried. It was just a human thing.
When Brian was okay, he let go of me and walked into the bathroom to wipe away the remnants of the salty tears. Everyone was silent. Kevin deeply regretted what he said, though he knew he had to say it or else his cousin would not get it. And when he did get it, not another word was said about anything.
The next few days were complete torture for all of us. The anticipation of seeing everyone we missed built up inside each of us, especially the cousins. We tried to lighten the tense air, but it was kinda hard, due to the fact that either the guys had work they attempted to do or there was just nothing to talk about. Often times, I would just turn on the radio in the back room and sit and listen to it while playing with the dogs, while the guys talked business in the front room. It was all they could do to keep their minds away from being home.
"Hey Nick!" I shouted from the front of the bus one day, when no one was doing anything.
"What Gilli?" Nick asked, poking his head through the doorway. I had stuck on a pair of AJ's shades (I was also the only one AJ let wear his sunglasses without asking...well, at first I would take them without asking, and he finally stopped caring so much that I was taking them and eventually let me borrow them without yelling at me each time) and one of our hats and had a hairbrush to my mouth. I waited a few seconds, then busted out, dancing around barefoot, with a tanktop and some cutoff shorts on.
"Wild thing....danarenare nare nare...you make my heart sing...danarenare nare nare...you make everything...groooovvvvaaaayyy...wild thing...." I sang acapella. By now Nicky had jumped up to join me. "Wild thing I...think I love you...danarenarenare....BUT I WANNA KNOW FOR SURE....danarenarenare...come on....hold me tight....danarenarenare...I loooovvveee you..." By now, Kevin had out his videocamera once again, Howie and AJ stood watching us, and Brian was by the bathroom, watching with a toothbrush and a mouthful of toothpaste.
After our wonderful performance, Nicky and I took a bow and sat down, laughing.
"Boy that really needed to be done," Nick sighed, catching his breath. I laughed. That was one of our all-time favorite songs and we always used to sing it together. The guys had nicknamed us Wild Thang 1 and Wild Thang 2 about 7 years ago, when the two of us were 12 and 13.
I had found it on the radio one day when we were hanging out before their rehearsal. I had just met the boys and they were practicing their vocals and moves. Suddenly, I jumped up and grabbed a microphone that was turned off and began to sing at the top of my lungs. The guys all looked at me with astonishment. Then, young Nicky, just a year older than I, grabbed another mic and the two of us sang our hearts out, dancing like the wild thangs we were singing about. It was at about that time that the guys decided, even though I had just started taking dance classes (as perscribed be D himself), I would be up onstage with them someday as a dancer.
Or AJ and I would one day do a little dance skit together. This was, of course, back in the day when I was secretly in love with AJ because he was sooo cute! From that day forth, whenever the song came into either someone's mind or on the radio, Nicky and I were together, jammin' away to it. We had actually gotten to be a lot closer than we once were. It was probably our close ages and being stuck on this tour with a million people older than us. Sometimes the guys joked that we were like twins.
"Hey you two! Cool down a little! It's like you're little teenagers again!" Kevin called. Then he looked at me. "Okay. Nevermind that..." I laughed, putting the brush down. Nick and I plopped down on the couch and he handed me a water bottle after he took a drink and watched as I guzzled the rest down.
"Slow down girl! You drink soo much!" Nicky cried, looking at me astonished. I took the bottle away from my lips and smiled obnoxiously at Nick. He jokingly glared at me. After emptying the bottle, I tossed it in the trash and walked to the back, where the rest of the guys were. Brian had finished brushing his teeth and was now playing with Tyke on the ground. I squished in between Howie and AJ and turned on the TV. I ended up stopping at Win Ben Stein's Money because there was absolutely nothing on. We watched Comedy Central so much on that bus. Of course, I hated that show so I went back to the front where Nick was still sitting, and grabbed a thing of yogurt, which I finished in less than five minutes. Then I played with Chachi some.
This anticipation thing was hitting everyone in the gut.