As Long As You Love Me

"Hey D wake up!" I cried, nudging Howie. We were both asleep on top of my bed, fully clothed in what we had worn the previous night. When we had reached home, the two of us were so exhausted that we had walked in and fallen on my bed in a deep sleep. Howie's big brown eyes were merely slits as he tried to open them in the morning light. He yawned and sat up. It was 12 in the afternoon. I weakly smiled at him and got up. "I'm gunna go take a shower, okay?"

"Okay. I'll conjure up something for brunch for us to eat when you get out," D grinned back. I gave him a quick kiss and hopped into my bathroom, shutting the door behind me. When I got out, I threw on some old jean shorts and a worn jersey that Nick had outgrown, dried my bangs, and walked out to the kitchen. Both the dogs were sitting in the middle of the living room. I had forgotten that Nick and Amy and Lisa had dropped off Chachi the night before. I turned on the radio and kept the dial at an oldies station. D's favorite song, "Unchained Melody," echoed through the front rooms. "OH D! It's your song!!!!!!" I cried excitedly.

"Turn it up!!!!" Howie shouted from the kitchen. Following his instructions, I blared the song while the boy sang at the top of his lungs. As I walked into the kitchen to see what was going on, Sweet D grabbed me and started to dance. Laughing, I decided to go along with the dork and not resist it. We danced on the linoleum floor while he sang to me and I giggled. When the song ended, Howie gave me a kiss and went back to what he was cooking.

"What in the world are you doing?" I wanted to know, looking over his shoulder.

"Chocolate chip pancakes," he told me.

"Mmm yum!" I exclaimed, grabbing some plates from an overhead cabinet and setting them on the glass table. We sat down and ate our breakfast, then took the dogs out for a jog on the beach. I let Howie control Oreo, who was practically jerking her leash out of his hands. She loved the beach and drove D straight for the water. He freaked out before gaining control and holding her back. She was a well-trained dog, better than Chachi, which I loved about Oreo Thingy.

After the beach, we went back to my house and the two of us took off in his corvette towards his house. I had been dying to see his mom and dad again, because I really missed them. When we got to the Doroughs' house, Hoke was sitting at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around my second father.

The Doroughs had pretty much adopted me as their youngest child when I was little and spent all my time at their house. When my parents would leave for vacations and things, Rachelle and I would spend the night or weekend or whatever with the Doroughs. When we were old enough to stay at our house, Howie would come over and sit us. The three of us would have a heck of a time, playing random games and dancing around the house. If he wasn't home, one of his siblings would hang out with us. Or Paula would come over. When Rachelle left for college, my parents were fixing on moving back to California, where all of our other family members lived. I begged and begged and begged for them to stay until I was 18 and could move into a house and stay with the Doroughs in Florida (I just couldn't leave my new friends AJ, Nick, Kevin, and Brian). They almost didn't let me, but by then I was so involved with the BSB's touring that they had to stay. They stayed two years, allowing me to travel with the boys, knowing Paula would be with us, then moved after Howie and I started making plans for my house. I stayed in Caroline's old room with the Doroughs while the house was being built and after my parents had moved. Paula and Hoke had, after all, been chosen as my legal guardians if anything should happen to my parents. When I turned 18, my parents made a trip back to Florida and the boys presented me with the house. I had paid for most of it with my savings, but the boys split some of the cost and then furnished the house for me with all of the money they earned.

"Hey sweetie," Hoke greeted me when I enveloped him in the surprise hug. I always did that so he had gotten to know my hugs well. Hearing the commotion, Paula walked in from the family room and walked up to give her son a hug. Howie returned the embrace, then excused himself to go take the shower he had desperately needed. I, in turn, greeted Paula with another embrace.

"Hello dear. It's great to see you again!" she cried.

"It really is, Paula. I miss you two soooooo much when we're on the road! I can't wait to go to California to visit Mom and Dad," I told her.

"I just talked to your mom the other day. She misses you a lot too and can't wait either. Ya know, it's so much easier on me when you go on the tours now! That way poor Howie doesn't get too homesick. He's got a piece of his family with him everyday now," Paula explained, smiling at me.

"Well the boy still complains about missing all of you guys, and every so often he gets a little upset about Caroline but..." I trailed off. Paula sighed.

"We all do. And I miss her dreadfully......But you're making things a lot nicer for me! I'm getting too old to travel everywhere with that boy! You....you keep him in line!" she joked, after pausing a moment to think about her lost daughter.

Hoke put down his newspaper and stood up. He put his arm around me in a fatherly way and said, "Well, it sure is a pleasure to see you and Howard are still getting along just fine. You two have never stayed mad at each other for longer than a day. Despite how much you were like his little sister."

"We used to joke with your parents about you two getting married. Rachelle never really stayed as devoted to him and his career as much as you did. I really don't think any of his friends did. You keep his feet on the ground and his head level. You're Howie's little angel, Stephanie," Paula explained, smiling at me. I blushed. I never thought I was that important to him. "Your mother was not as shocked when I mentioned that you two were dating. Did you ever tell her?"

"I never had time, with all this rehearsing and touring. I've really never had any time and whenever I talked to them, who I was dating was never the subject. Sometimes I even forget that I'm going out with him. Nothing's changed a bit really," I confided in them.

"Have you had anything to eat for breakfast?" Paula changed the subject. "You must be starved after all that dancing you did last night! Did Howie spend the night at your house?"

"Yeah, we just both got through the door and fell asleep right on top of the bed, in the same clothes that we had gone dancing in. But this morning he cooked me pancakes so I'm pretty full, thank you," I said.

"And they were good pancakes too, huh Gilli!" D walked out to the kitchen, his wet hair hanging down from his head for it was not yet in a ponytail. I smiled.

"Gosh dang it they were!" I cried as Howie sauntered up and put his arm around his mother, kissing her cheek.

"Oh Howard! Save your kisses for her!" Paula exclaimed. Howie and I looked at each other, eyebrows raised, laughing.

"Well Mom, we're leaving today so I wanted to be able to spend some time with you before I left," Howie informed his mom.

"When are you leaving, son?" Hoke spoke up. D looked at me.

"I think two. So we have a few hours to spare before we hit the road. We were wondering if you could drop us off at the stadium when we left," I answered.

"Well I'm sure I can do that!" Hoke replied. I smiled gratefully at him.

"Well what are we standing around for? Let's sit down so you can tell us all about your trip so far!" Paula cried. We pulled up chairs around the round table and Hoke moved the paper out of the way.

"I....got a tattoo..." I mumbled.

"What?! Child your father is going to murder you!" Hoke exclaimed.

"May I see it?" Paula asked. I walked over and showed the Doroughs the tattoo. They both laughed. "That's cute! Who's idea was it?"

"MINE!" Howie cried. "I picked out the fish and she suggested the Gilli part."

"Suggested? I was only joking and you took it seriously, dork!" I told him.

"Yeah but who went along with it, hmmm?" D shot back.

"Oh fine," I sighed. Paula and Hoke laughed.

"You two still fight like you used to, that's for sure," Paula remarked. "Haven't changed a bit." I giggled. "So, what are you guys up to doing today?"

"Just bummin' around the house like old times. I'm gunna miss this place when we leave. Hey what's John up to today? Maybe we can do something. Or Polly," Howie suggested.

"I think John's working and Polly's probably shopping or something," Hoke informed his son.

"I need to get a little packing done too. I want to get some different clothes and I need more this time," D thought.

"Yeah hun, just please don't come back with more than you left with! We can't affor--we have no more room for all of it!" Paula cried. Howie chuckled and hugged his mom. Then she looked at her watch. "OH! Would you guys like something for lunch?"

"Mom, this is still my house. I'll fix something when I want to eat it! And Gilli knows where everything is located in the kitchen. She can get something when she wants it too," D told his mom, rubbing her tense shoulder. "Calm down and rest. You need it." Then Howie got up to make himself a sandwich. I got up myself once he had sat down.

"So Steph, how do you like dancing for the guys now?" Hoke asked me as I sat back down at the large table.

"It's soooo much fun. I love dancing on stage in front of all those insane girls!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah cuz you know they're not even paying attention to you!" D joked. I kicked him in the shin under the table, as hard as I could.

"HEY! That hurt!" I looked at him with an innocent smile. Howie laughed to himself. Just then, the front door opened. John walked in. "JOHN!"

"Hey Howie. How's it goin' Steph?" John greeted us. He sat down at the table and grabbed a chip out of the bag D had placed on it.

"Pretty good John. What have you been up it?" I answered him.

"Work. But I got off early because my boss knew my little brother was leaving town today and he let me go home so I could say goodbye to the little squirt," John explained to me.

"Yeah we're leaving in an hour or so. Gilli's still gotta go home and pack before we go to the buses. Hey John can you watch over her great dane while we're gone?" Howie wanted to know.

"GREAT DANE? Steph what are you doing, going out and getting a cow-dog?" John cried. He hesitated, then finally answered, "yes I'll watch the dog for you Steph. As long as it is a nice, gentle dog and won't knock me down and try to eat me alive." I laughed.

"She's nicer than Chachi is," I told him.

"ANYTHING'S nicer than Chachi is," John mumbled. Everyone joined in my laughter. "Hey Howie, can I borrow that one blue Armani shirt tomorrow? We're having a business meeting."

"Sorry John, but I'm taking it with me. You could borrow one of my old Tommy suits if you want though. I probably won't need any of them," Howie told his brother. Then he hesitated. "Actually, just wait till I'm gone then wear whatever you want. But don't shrink anything or ruin it!!!"

"Yes Mom," John joked.

"Howie, you know what, just go and pack. I'll sit out here and explain to John about the dog, okay?" I told D. Howie sighed, then got up and walked back to his room. Right as I was beginning to tell John what I needed him to do, Howie came back out of his room, holding a framed pic of the two of us on the boat from a few days ago. I looked at it and gasped.

"Oh my god that is such a bad picture of me!" I cried, taking it from his hand.

"What are you talking about? I think it's a gorgeous picture of you," Howie argued.

"Yeah but you're supposed to say that," I exclaimed. "Where did you get it?"

"That lovely girl....Amanda brought it over this morning. She said she wanted to surprise him," Paula answered.

"Well this is probably one of our best pictures together! I don't care what you say, I'm taking it with me on the bus," D informed me. I got up and started to sock him in the arm repeatedly, like old times. "Hey! Is that necessarily a bad thing?" he asked, grabbing me and beginning to tickle me in return.

"HEY! Don't even!" I screeched, struggling to get out of his grasp. John, Paula, and Hoke all watched the two of us, laughing.

"Nope. Haven't changed a bit," John sighed.

"STOP IT!! Go and get packed!" I yelled between giggles. D wouldn't stop tickling me until I doubled over on the ground, and lay there laughing.

"Kay. I gotta go pack now, then we'll go back to your place and you can pack," Howie finally quit. I sat up and leaned back on my palms.

"You never learn do you?" John teased, shaking his head disgracefully. I glared at him as I sat on the ground, not willing to get up.  "Don't think I'm helping you up either!" My glare broke into a smile and I got up. Just then, Polly walked in.

"Hey Steph! What are you doing here?" she cried when we nearly ran into each other as she made her way through the door.

"D's packing, then we're going back to my house so I can pack, then John's gunna drive us to the stadium where the buses are," I explained.

"Do you want me to give you a ride to your house? I wouldn't mind. You guys won't be late either," Pollyanna kindly offered. I appreciatively accepted her offer and grabbed my hat as we walked out the door.

"HOWIE!!!! POLLY'S TAKIN ME HOME!!!!!!!" I yelled for him to hear me.

"OKAY!!!!" D hollered back, before the two of us left.

"All packed?" John asked as he walked into my room to grab my duffle bags. I looked through my lists and reread them. Then I grabbed Chachi and stuck him in a backpack with all his toys and blankets and things. Brian would be bringing the dogfood for our dogs.

"Uh yeah. Got my clothes, hats, dog...all I gotta do is pack the bathroom stuff. You can throw all that stuff in the truck if you want," I told John. Howie came in and the two of them picked up my duffle bags and walked out of the room with them while I went into my bathroom and pretty much took a swipe at the countertop around the sink, knocking everything into my big travel box. I emptied the cabinets underneath, made sure I had all my hair stuff and retainers and toothbrushes and toothpaste, and whatnot, then closed my travel case, grabbed the backpack with Chachi in it, turned everything off, and walked to the living room where the Doroughs were waiting.

"Ready to go?" Hoke wanted to know, standing up. Paula and Polly sat on the couch, looking up at me as Polly stroked Oreo's head. John and Howie walked back into the house.

"Yeah I think we are," I answered, after taking in my surroundings I knew I would miss as soon as I set foot on the bus. I kissed Oreo's head and led her outside, making sure she had enough food for a little while. The pool was covered, the pool table was in the garage (my table was on rollers so it was easy to move it around), and everything was locked. I shut the curtains at the back door and made sure all the mini-blinds were closed. After waiting for everyone to get out of the house, I turned on the alarm and walked out to lock the front door. I sighed and walked down to the driveway, then climbed into the truck, beside Howie. John was driving, and Hoke, Polly, and Paula were in the Doroughs' other car, ready to follow us down to the stadium to meet the others and board our tour buses. Fans had already gotten there, pushing themselves up to the tall chain link fences, trying to catch a glimpse of their favorite Backstreet Boy. We sped up and drove around the back, hoping the mob of girls wouldn't be able to sneak in as the gates opened to let us in. Screams erupted as the fans spotted Howie seated between me and John in the truck. John hit the gas and we managed to stay at a safe distance. D waved at the flashing cameras, smiling for the girls so they could have a good picture of him.

Our two vehicles pulled into the backstage area and we climbed out of them. John, Howie, and I grabbed all of our things and made our way to bus #69 (AJ made sure the bus was 69 because he thought it would keep us safe since it's his lucky number). Off in the distance, Nick and Brian were having a little fun with Aaron and the video camera.

"Hey guys!" Tae greeted us as she walked towards her bus. Suddenly, she stopped. "Uh Steph, what are we gunna do with that Hershey Kiss?"

"Kev didn't give it to her yet?" I cried. Teresa shook her head no. "Well then I'll see if he's in the bus and ask him. Whoever is driving them over can probably take it back home for her. Thanks for letting me know!" In the bus, AJ was already emptying his things into one of the drawers and the closet.

"Hey J. What's up?" I greeted him. AJ turned around and smiled at me. He looked a little woozy from having too much to drink the night before. "Did you and Emily hit a bar last night or something?" AJ nodded his head.

"Just don't get yourself too wasted. Uh John can you set my stuff in my bunk right here?" I asked. He did as I asked him to, then got out of the way so Howie could set his stuff down. I decided I'd get my stuff situated after we left. I took Chachi out of the backpack and John and I left the bus, just as Kevin and Danielle were walking in. I pulled Train aside and made sure he was away from Dani's earshot.

"You forgot to give Dani the Hershey Kiss. The dancers would like it if you got rid of it before we left," I informed him. He thanked me and went over to the dancers' bus. Now, Nick and Brian were on their way to check out the fans. Aaron closely followed. Jane was off to the side, talking to Denise, who wasn't going to be coming with us this time around. Paula was making her way towards the other mothers and Hoke was now talking to John. Polly had gone into the dancers' bus and was conversing with them, where Amanda, Emily, and Amy were. I quickly made my way over to where Nick, Brock, and AC were, but stopped myself when I heard the wave of screaming and intense noise. Within seconds, the three boys came running back. They came up to me, laughing.

"They all came running towards us!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Did you guys go outside the gates?" I wanted to know.

"Yeah. We thought we would just go a few feet outside the gates to get a glimpse of the mobs of fans and catch it on videotape but as soon as we opened the gates, they all came running towards us, so we dodged back inside and Marcus, Q, Tom, Marc, and Mike all stood at the gates to keep them from getting in," Nick explained.

"I see. You always love to create a little chaos everywhere you go, don't you Nicky?" I joked. The guys occasionally called him Kaos because he always loved to make things a little wild every once and a while.

"Actually, it was AC's idea. I think he's inheriting the nickname from Nick," Brian told me. Aaron laughed evilly.

"You're not going on tour with us, are you?" I whined, pretending to be annoyed with AC.

"Yeah, and I'm staying in your bus!" he cried.

"You liar!" I replied, messing with his hair. Aaron laughed again. I wished I was an older sister, but no one seemed to be younger than me! So I treated Nick's siblings like my own. I grabbed the videocamera from Brian and turned to face them. "You're on!" I exclaimed. Nick took his fist and used it as a mic.

"And here we are, getting ready to leave for the US tour. As you just saw, we have quite a good outcome of faithful followers to see us off. Ah! And here is one of the Backstreet Boys now. Brian Littrell, how do you feel about the mob that we have managed to attract to the stadium?" Nick asked, acting like a reporter.

"Well, Nick, it seems like we've got quite a group of fans here. A little insane, but I think we'll manage to get out safely. If we have to, we have this young little boy to feed to the hungry mobsters if they get fierce. He should be enough to keep them off. Back to you Nick," Brian said with an announcer-like voice. Suddenly, Nick put his hand up to his ear, as if a earphone was in it, telling him something.

"What is this I hear? We have an escapee fan? On the lose? Back here? Hoh boy. With weapons? OH NO!" Nick yelled, then began to run for cover. AC (who had Chachi in his arms), Brian, and Nick all took off towards the buses. I jogged after them, the camera still running. Aaron handed Chache to his mom and the three ducked behind a bus. I stood in front of them with the videocamera.

"It seems we are having a bit of trouble. An armed and dangerous fan has escaped the mob and is heading for us. Get down, and be quiet," Nick whispered, his hands like a gun. He peeked through the driver's window. "OH NO! She's coming straight for us! Shoot at her! Shoot at her!" Aaron and Nick made shooting noises as Brian watched on and I taped them.

"It's an ALIEN!!!! OH NO! SHE'LL EAT US ALIVE!!!!" Aaron screamed. Amanda walked up and stood in front of them, her hands on her hips. She was still wearing my Kentucky K hat, which I ended up just giving her (hey, LIDS had so many of them I could just go buy myself another one) and a blue and white sundress with white sneakers.

"What are you DOING?" she asked Nick with curiosity. Nick blushed and shrugged.

"Well....ya know....it's a Backstreet THANG," he told her. Then, he turned to me. "False alarm. Phew! That was close!"

"Yeah, it was just a friendly alien," AC added. Amanda's smile turned into a glare and she jumped at Aaron, making him take off towards his mother, screaming. We all laughed as Brian walked over towards his girlfriend and laid his arm across her shoulders. Just then, we spotted Kevin getting off the dancers' bus with a huge garbage bag...the hershey kiss. He left it with us, then went into the boys' bus and got Dani. He brought her out to where we were and had her open the kiss. She laid eyes on it, then wrapped her arms around him. Kevin couldn't have been more happy to have pleased his girlfriend.

"When did you get it??" Dani begged to know.

"When we were in Pennsylvania. I bought it for you and we stored it on the dancers' bus while you were with us. Do you like it?" Kev asked.

"I LOVE IT!!!" she exclaimed. They exchanged a kiss, then stood there, staring at the giant silver thing. John walked up.

"Ya want me to take it home in the truck? I can store it in Howie's room while you're gone," he offered.

"Really? That would be great! Thank you John!" Dani replied. Then, we noticed Louie walking our way from the band's bus.

"Guys we're leaving in fifteen minutes," he informed us. Everyone immediately rushed towards the circle of parents and friends who were standing around, talking to each other. We all said goodbye and hugged and kissed each other, promising of letters and pictures during the months we were away. Then, everyone climbed onto their buses, waving as they disappeared through the bus doors. As the last of us boarded our bus, we checked to make sure we had everything and everyone, then the engines started up and we were off, waving through the windows at our families and friends. As the buses left the stadium, waves of screams and fans came rushing our way. Millions of hands waved frantically at the buses as signs peaked high above everything else. Screams increased as Nick opened a window and stuck his head out. Girls pressed themselves up against the chain link fences as the crowds surged forward. We couldn't believe the turn out. There had to be at least three hundred girls who had arrived to bid us farewell.

As we hit the road, the screams died down and we all got relaxed. I went to placing my things in the drawer beneath my bunk and made sure I had everything I needed. With three girls and five boys, we would be a little crowded, especially in the bathroom. In the closet, a few suits and jackets hung on hangers. Nick, Brian, Chachi, Tyk, Manda, and AJ were all sitting in the back, watching something on the TV. Howie, and Kevin were in the front, talking about whatever they had on their minds. Dani stood beside me, putting her own clothes away.

"I can't believe I get to travel with you guys this time. It's soo cool!" Danielle told me, excitedly.

"Well, you'll get used to it. But beware of the messes Nick and Brian like to make. They never keep the place clean," I warned her. Dani smiled and said she'd try to control herself.

Not two hours later, there was a mess on the bus. Nick had left the nintendo out and was now playing a game with Brian on their laptops. There was a thing of peanut butter on the table, and a bag of chips left out that Tyk had managed to find and make a huge mess of. Dani saw them and nearly screamed. She went, picking up after Nick. Howie had stuck in the Billy Joel CD and he, AJ, and Amanda were playing Scrabble. Kevin was putting all his things away and I was sitting in my bunk, reading. The song "To Make You Feel My Love" came on and, knowing it was one of Kevin's favorite songs, I had grown to expect him to start singing it. I heard his deep voice quietly singing as he put his clothes in the drawer. Just then, Dani walked by with an apple core she had found Chachi gnawing on. She too was singing the song. I laughed to myself. When she came back through the mini hallway, she went to her drawer and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen to write a letter. Kevin was behind her and they were both singing. Then the two accidentally bumped into each other. They turned around and smiled at each other.

"Sorry about that sweetie," Kevin apologized.

"No that's okay," she said. They stopped singing and went back to what they were doing. I put my book down.

"Wait. Why aren't you singing?" I asked. Kev and Dani both looked at me.

"Who?" they wanted to know.

"YOU! You two sound soooo good together. Finish the song before it's over with! I wanna hear you sing it. And no arguing!" Dani blushed and Kev lightly chuckled to himself. After hesitating, they continued to sing, Dani breaking into giggles every so often. When they finished, Dani unfolded her arms.

"There. Can I go now?!" she cried. I laughed.

"Yeah go!" I answered. Dani went to the back of the bus to watch the Scrabble game.

"Ya really think we sound good together, Gilli?" Kevin leaned over and whispered to me as soon as Danielle was gone.

"Would I lie to you?" I asked. Kevin smiled to himself and turned to finish putting his things away.

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