On a plane once again. It was always quite fun in a not fun way. I was bored, so I began to think about subjects to write on in my novel. Just then, I felt my pager vibrating. I looked at it and saw the message, laughing to myself. "Don't throw up on the plane! Dani and Manda." I sighed, missing them all more than ever. At the same time, I missed the vigorous schedule of the video shoot. I missed all my friends I had made on the shoot. Digging through my backpack, I found the envelope of pieces of paper, a pencil, and my planner. Figuring I had nothing better to do, I began to look through all the papers and fill the empty spots with the addresses and numbers I had received. As I saw each paper and read each name, I laughed, remembering the person. I had gotten the digits of every dancer I had worked with. Tina, Rachel, Ana, Tim, Jamal, JJ, Eric, Jeremy, Tasha, Sarah, Nicci, Elizabeth, Marco, Shawn, Hunk, Kirk, Christina, Natalie, Alexa, Tyla, Isabella, Greg, Joseph, Tarin, Brion, and Tate. Britney's five dancers had left their numbers and addresses as well, but I knew I probably wouldn't be able to keep much contact with them. Kirk..."Captain Kirk"...the leader of the pack....Natalie..."Little Lee Lee"...Nicci..."Gucci"....all of my great friends. I missed the whole crew and the hard work.
But I also missed my family. The people on the Backstreet Crew. Four weeks felt like four years. I had talked to at least everyone during the month that i was gone, but I still felt like half of me was missing. I missed Danielle's cheerful talks every night. I missed Amanda's smile and laugh. I missed Brian's jokes. I missed Nick's sarcasm. I missed Kevin's big brotherness. I missed the dancers' peppy voices yelling at me and goofing off with me. I missed AJ's craziness. I missed Howie's warmth and presence. I missed the band's food fights with us. I couldn't wait those five hours before I would hit the runway and walk through that terminal and see those open arms and smiling faces. I knew that no matter what, this was my destiny and I was stuck with these people for the rest of my dear little life.
Next to me was a business man, who was busy typing away at his laptop, so I didn't want to bother him. Instead, I got out my discman, reclined my chair a little, and stared out the window.
As I saw the ground coming closer to the plane and heard the captain over the loud speaker, my heart filled with happiness again as a rush overcame me. We were finally in Montana and I was about to see those I missed once more. I gathered my things and threw them all in the backpack, smiling to myself as I began to get jumpy. The plane bounced a little as it hit the ground. I couldn't believe I was finally going to get back to my life. It was unreal in a sense. I was so built up with excitement. As soon as the plane landed, I grabbed my stuff and hightailed it out of the plane, rushing towards the terminal, lugging my few things in my arms. I wanted to be out before the big rush.
I stepped into the airport and walked around for a few seconds before I saw a group of people huddled together. I squinted, then recognized AJ from the way he was standing and ran up to them, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. Everyone turned to look at me with surprised looks on their faces and AJ adjusted himself so that he could really give me a hug. Everyone cried hello and gave me hugs. They were just about all there. The guys, the girlfriends, and the dancers. My welcome commitee, pretty much. As soon as AJ let go of me, Howie came up and wrapped me up in a tight hug. It felt soooo good to be able to be in his arms again. I sighed as I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. We stayed that way for a few moments, then he pulled away and looked at me.
"How was it?" Howie asked as a smile broke out across his face. Everyone crowded around closer, wanting to know hear my response.
"Oh my gosh! It was soooooo much fun! We all had a blast! I had a two to five hour practice everyday for three weeks. Britney got on our nerves during practice, but then during the watching of the video, she was sweet. It was weird. The video is great, you guys will love it. I have a few close-ups in it," I explained.
"Did you make us proud?" AJ wanted to know.
"I sure hope so. I worked my ass off to!" I cried. "I got like all the dancers' numbers and I can keep in touch with them and stuff. If I ever needed them for something."
"That's great! What was the dance like?" Amy asked.
"It was sooo hard! It took me forever to learn it! It was an awesome dance though. I was right behind Britney's dancers, and to the left, so you can see me a lot in the background. I made so many friends in the studio and at the shoot. Everyone was so cool. Living with Fatima for a month was a lot of fun too!" I continued. We had begun our way towards the conveyor belt where the luggage was going to be coming through for me to pick up. The big crowd of us could hardly walk around unnoticed, so plenty of fans came up and asked the guys for autographs and pictures. We girls left them and went to catch my suitcases before they passed by and we missed them. After we grabbed my luggage and Tae rode the conveyor belt, we stood around for about twenty minutes, waiting for the guys to come back.
When they did, it looked as if the boys had been mobbed.
"The fans get a little excited?" Kristin joked.
She and Reggie were still going out. Swoop had been successfully hanging onto a girl while he traveled. Emo was such a sweet and gentlemanly person. Sleepy liked to flirt with the fans and see if he could catch their interest. He usually wasn't successful. Ro Ro had just recently broken up with his girlfriend of three years. It was too much for him to travel and never be with her. As for the girls....Tae and Nef liked to go to clubs and flirt with the men. They had a way of showing off their moves that made the rest of us laugh at them. They were so much like AJ.
While I was gone, I had learned that AJ and Emily had decided to be friends and not get so serious. Em had to go back to work soon too. Amy had finally been offered the job of her dreams--a modeling stint--and was scheduled to go back to Florida in due time. Also, Nick had gotten food poisoning from something, and Brian and Amanda had had a fight but made up. On the day that was the anniversary of Kevin's father's death, Kevin acted as was expected. Danielle had told me he had a day where he just withdrew from everything. She didn't understand why, so Howie had to explain to her that it was the day that his dad had passed away and every year on this day he was left alone so he could deal with it. Dani didn't want to leave him without his not being able to talk about it so, she informed me, she had a talk with him about his dad and let him tell her all about him. The two of them then sat in the back room and cried in each other's arms.
Howie moped a lot. He supposedly talked about missing me nonstop. He stuck the picture of us on the 4th of July in the front of the bus so he could see me everyday. According to Nick, pictures of me were taped up on the sides of D's bunk. "I now know what it's like for a fan to have pictures of me all over their room," Nicky joked. Brian and Nick had gone out a few times and played basketball with a few guys they met at basketball courts. Sometimes AJ and Kevin would go out with them, or the whole band and the guy dancers would, and they'd have a big game. AJ, Kev, and D had located all the best clubs in all the biggest cities. AJ had gotten drunk at one of the clubs and Howie had to drag him out before the security threw him out. One of Nick's laptops had crashed and wasn't working. Brian lost Tyke for about three hours one day and nearly bawled his eyes out. The band and dancers had gotten revenge on Nick, Amanda, and me by covering our bus with anything they could find. There were a few more food fights, but the band was usually the ones to win those because, for some reason, they always had endless amounts of food. AJ finally let us in on the secret--the guys (and girl) in the band stocked up on food at every venue and had kept a stash of food just for the fights, while the dancers and the boys used food straight out of the fridge. "So that explains the rotten food we often have to scrape off our bus," Nef exclaimed. I had also discovered that Niki's mother had passed away a few days ago and she wasn't going to be joining us for the remainder of the tour.
Everyone on the bus had called and expressed their condolences and I knew I had to as well. The girls were all planning on flying in for the funeral, but the guys had scheduled something on that day, so it was impossible for them to do that. The show with Danielle and Amanda seemed to work out perfect, and I let them have one more show with the boys, so I could sit and watch. This transition had also caused much commotion amongst the fans though. Apparently, Kristin and Emily had found rumors that Howie had found out that I slept with AJ and we had an argument and broke up and I left the tour. This supposedly "explained" my absense for one month. I couldn't wait to hear the rumors when I showed back up onstage. AJ and Howie were getting a kick out of such crazy rumors like that, though. Neither could believe how desperate these fans were for one of the guys to be single. Nobody knew that AJ was now, which didn't bother him. Although he knew he would have to explain himself when girls found pictures of him with other women and started rumors of him cheating on Emily. They were still great friends, best friends, but he wanted to cool it down for a little while and then pick it up when the tour was done with. She agreed, saying there was just too much stress on their relationship. Em would stay on the tour with us, though, until she had to get back to work.
It felt good to be on the bus again. I felt complete, being with my family, back in my bunk once more. We celebrated by pulling out my all-time favorite movie, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, and cramming into the back of the bus to watch it. That night, Amanda made me a grilled cheese, bologna, and mustard sandwich, as a welcome home dinner. Howie told me he hadn't taken the ring off since the second I had given it to him. He wore it on his right hand, ring finger, as I had it made so it would fit that one.
In the middle of one of my favorite scenes, the one over the bridge, Howie suddenly remembered something and sharply turned to face me.
"Hey Steph guess what?" he cried.
"Howie! This better be good. You're interrupting my favorite scene," I sighed, giving him a Look, sarcastically.
"Ya know how we are going to the MTV VMA's?"
"Yeah..."
"They want us to perform!" Howie exclaimed.
"Fatima called one day while you guys were all doing the video shoot and said she wants to do Larger Than Life, so you and Danielle will get to be onstage with us!" I wrapped my arms around D in excitement, accidentally smacking Brian in the face.
"HEY! Don't go pokin' my eye out!" Brock said. I apologized, then embraced my boyfriend.
"When is it?" I asked Howie D.
"Uh it's in mid October. We have to fly out and do a quick rehearsal, then the next day will be the show," he informed me.
"Oh my god you're kidding me," I gasped. "That is sooo awesome!"
"Okay you two can shut up now. We're watching your favorite movie, Gilli. The least you could do is watch it," Nick replied, not taking his eyes off the television.
"Sorry Nicky," I apologized, then turned back around to watch the TV. Yet...I wasn't really interested in watching the movie anymore. So I grabbed Chachi and left the room. Howie asked if I was ok, which I was, I just wanted a little bit of time to sit back and relax. I told him this, then climbed into my bunk and sat there.
Being the constantly thinking person that I am, I took a deep breath and began to get thoughtful. I began to think about being in California and how much fun it was. I thought about my friends, my family, my job, my life as I knew it. But I was beginning to miss my real family more and more. I was in LA, but I hadn't gone to see my sister, who lived nearby where we were. I missed being with my parents, who were supposedly relatively far away from LA. I hadn't talked to my aunt, who was in North Hollywood. I missed them all. Knowing Howie would be okay with it (he always was), I reached into his bunk and grabbed his cell phone, then called my parents' house.
"Hello?" Rachelle answered the phone.
"Hey what are you doing home?" I asked.
"Aunt Dot and I drove up for the weekend. Howie called and said that you were down in LA making a video. How come you didn't stop by? Who did you stay with?" my sister wanted to know.
"I stayed with Fatima in her apartment. We were so busy for the four weeks. We were rehearsing for a few hours everyday, then I just got so exhausted that we sat around once we were done. I only got one day off, and I spent that day resting. The only time I did anything was when Howie flew down on his birthday and we went out for the day," I explained.
"Cool. What was the video like?" Rachelle begged for details.
"It was fun. Different than a Backstreet video by far. So many people and so much work. The video ended up really cool. You'll see a lot of me in it. Is Aunt Dot at Gramma's?"
"Yeah. She dropped me off here and now I'm just here at home. Are you coming for the family reunion?" she asked.
"Yeah. Right now I'm on the bus," I told her.
"What's Kevin doing right now?!" Rachelle blurted out.
"He's watching Robin Hood: Men In Tights with everyone else," I sighed, expecting her to ask about Kevin. She always did.
"Can I talk to him?!"
"No. He's watching the movie. Rachelle, he has a girlfriend," I reminded my sister.
"How come you never got Howie to hook us up?"
"Because I had better things to do," I replied. "Are Mom or Dad there?"
"Yeah. Mom's here you wanna talk to her?" Rachelle finally gave up.
"Yes please. Bye." My sister said goodbye, then handed the phone to our mom, whom I talked to for a good amount of time.
"Who's phone are you using?" Mom wanted to know, halfway through the conversation.
"Howie's. He calls home all the time. Don't worry about it. He doesn't care if I use this thing," I assured her. She was still doubtful. Then, my dad walked in and I was handed over to him. He had to tease me about everything, as usual, and asked what I had been up to. When I told him about the music video, he thought that was crazy, but then again, he thought everything I did was crazy. He always told me that dancing didn't get me good money and that I needed a steady job, not an unpredictable one. That was the usual lecture. I ignored it. After about an hour on the phone, I decided I should go because I didn't want to be on any longer, for I already felt bad for running up the phone bill. Everytime I was reluctant to use the cell phone, I was reminded by the boy that it was okay because he could pay for it. I knew that, but I felt absolutely horrible. When I got done with the phone, I noticed that the movie was turned off. And everyone had dispersed throughout the bus, doing other things. Nick and Brian were playing Nintendo. Amy, Amanda, and Dani were playing with Tyke. Emily, Howie, and Kevin were playing a game. AJ got out of the bathroom and peeked through my curtain as he walked by. Just then, his phone rang. J jumped to get it and answered with a "What's up?"
"Hello Miss Blake. How are you? Fine thank you. Stephanie gave you my number?" (He turned around and raised his eyebrow at me. I smiled) "Oh you design hats? Uh huh. Go on." Becoming quite interested, AJ walked to the front of the bus, sat down beside our good ol bus driver, and continued talking to Jordyn about Wild Stylz. I walked out and sat next to Howie on the bench by the table.
"Did you call your parents?" he asked, placing an arm around my shoulders as I rested my head on my hand. I sighed, a little tired from the past month's work.
"Yeah. Kevin, watch out for my lame brain sister okay? I refuse to give her your address and phone number, because she might stalk you and I don't want you to get stuck in her trap," I told Kev.
"Gilli, Rachelle is not like that," Howie sighed.
"D, you have not seen that other side of her. Do you really think she will admit her lust for Kevin in front of you?!" Kevin sat there, listening and blushing. "So anyways, they're all looking forward to our appearance at the reunion at my gramma's ranch. The whole family knows about it. The rest of you are still welcome to come if you want."
"I don't think it'd be wise if I did. Your sister might beat me up," Danielle joked.
"Oh I'll protect you. I promise. And if I'm not there, you can always run and hide. There's lots of places to hide in Gramma's ranch!" I teased.
"Yeah, if I don't get to her first!" Danielle and I busted up.
"There's not gunna be, like, ten screaming cousins there, right Gilli?" AJ asked cautiously. He had just hung up with Jordyn.
"AJ, I don't think my cousins even like the Backstreet Boys. Don't worry about it. They all know that I'm friends with you and that I dance for you. We've had famous relatives in the family for quite some time. My Aunt Dot has been famous for about 8...9 years now. My sister works with E!. They all know what to expect. My aunts, however...if they start picking on you guys, ignore them. They have a strange sense of humor that you might not get," I explained.
"Yeah. Your Aunt Dot is somethin' else..." D sighed. I looked at him and laughed. He was certainly right about that. My aunt was about his age and had once told me she thought that Kevin was cute. When I told her that Howie and I had been lifelong buddies she refused to believe me at first.
When I was young, my family and I had flown down to California once or twice. We were the only ones who lived out of state, besides my mom's older sister. My dad's mom was really cool. She had so much old stuff and loved collecting antiques. She lived on this ranch that was about 40-years-old and had sheep and dogs and cats, and rented the land around her to other farmers, who planted corn on it. Once, I had gone on a trek through the corn and nearly got lost. It was so much fun though. I had a cousin who was two months younger than me and waaayyy prettier and older looking. One of her sisters was a year older than mine and looked like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Their older sister was Brian's age. All three were gorgeous. I had seen pictures of them every year. But I didn't know much about them. Down in California, I supposedly had tons of cousins. Being so far away in Florida, I never met them, though I had talked to them over the phone and through the mail. I had pictures of them in my house and sent them pictures of me. When Mom and Dad moved down to California, they told their families all about my sister and myself. They reported to me that none of my cousins listened to the Backstreet Boys except Sarah, who was seven years younger than me. So bringing the boys to the family reunion would be absolutely no problem. I hadn't told anybody else because I wanted it to be a surprise. My parents hadn't seen me in a year either. Once my eighteenth birthday came closer, they left to go to live in Cali, leaving me in the care of the Doroughs. They didn't mind, but my dad's job wouldn't permit him to stay long enough to be there until my birthday. They had to fly back in order to celebrate with me. Howie was out of the house most of the time, so I got really close to his parents and siblings.
After I finished my high school and "graduated," I flew out to join them in their tour. They had left in April, right after my birthday almost, and I got my diploma in June, so I was soon off to the tour bus, where I got to hang out with the guys and their girlfriends. It was a ton of fun for me. Howie took me out clubbing for the first time. Got me addicted. Everytime we located an eighteen and older club, he would take me out dancing with him. Soon I was dragging the boys out every night that we made a stop. The night hotel parties that often lasted until midday were tiring but fun. I usually fell asleep on a bed in one of the rooms, exhausted from 14 hour parties. The band was great. Obie and AJ would start us doing insane things, while Brian and Tommy goofed off. Because we had a floor all to ourselves, we would turn on music and almost blare it, bust out the sodas and....well the guys would bust out some alcohol here and there, though Kevin and Howie absolutely would not let any of them give me a drink unless it was carbonated or colorless, odorless liquid.
"Helllooooo Gilli....why do you always drift off like that?" Howie asked, Emily waving her hand in front of my face.
"My mind wanders," I sighed.
"You think too much," Kev muttered. I kicked him under the table. "What?! It's TRUE!" I giggled.
"Shut up..." I mumbled. "But anyways if you guys wanna come down and meet the rest of my family with me, that's fine."
"Steph, have we even met your parents?" Kevin wanted to know.
"Uhhh...no I don't think you have. AJ has because my parents made him come over to our house before I was allowed to go anywhere with him. But Brian, Nick, and you haven't," I informed him. At that moment, the conversation just pretty much dropped and there was a little silence. Just then, we heard a holler from the back room. Nick had just won the game.
"Good job Nick!" Amy called from the front of the bus.
"THANK YOU!" Nick answered back. Emily, Kevin, and Howie finished up their game and put it away.
"We need to get out more..." Amanda sighed, seeing how bored everyone was.
"Need to play some basketball," Danielle included, just as Brian walked out of the back room.
"What? You like playing bball? How come you never told me Dani?" Brock wanted to know.
"Brian I hardly talk to you!" Danielle pointed out. "I love playing it though. When I was younger all I ever did was shoot hoops. Never joined the team though."
"How come?" B-Rok wondered.
"Wasn't good enough."
"Oh whatever. I'm sure you were Dani!" I spoke up. She laughed.
"Well thank yoooouuu Gilligan," Dani sarcastically answered. I sat down beside her and gave her a hug.
"Where's the next stop?" Howie asked the driver, Jeff.
"Yellowstone, right? You guys wanted to go and check it out before we hit Wyoming, didn't you? At least, that's what I was told," Jeff answered.
"Oh yeah I forgot about that!" Kevin recalled. "I think they've already arranged for us to take a private tour down there. All the crew. I think Guy and Bubba called about it a few weeks ago. Maybe while we were between the Dakotas."
"Wow! I always wanted to see Old Faithful," Emily sighed.
"Well there really won't be anything to see. I don't think it's rupturing when we're down there," AJ pointed out.
"MAN!" Amy and Emily both cried at the same time, causing all of us to burst out in laughter.
"Hey guys, I think you've worn the dog to death there," Brian replied, looking down at his little tan chihuahua. Lil' Tyke was fast asleep in Amanda's lap. She let him sit there, refusing to move. We had Muchacho though, who was up and ready to do whatever we wanted.
"Hey Jeff when do we hit Yellowstone?" Kevin asked.
"Tonight, if we don't have any food fights on the way there," Jeff answered, giving them a hint.
"You're a funny guy Jeff. A funny funny guy!" Brian called.
"Brian! Go.....throw a basketball out the window or something..." our driver hollered back. This caused laughter to explode throughout the entire bus as everyone lost control. Tyke snapped to attention and started barking, frustrated at all the commotion. Amanda quickly grabbed him to hush the dog as we continued to bust up. Once we had settled down, we noticed the dancers' bus was passing ours. Amy pushed the window open and stuck her head out.
"Uh Amers...I'd be careful if I were you. Remember the last time you did that?" Nick reminded his girlfriend. She looked back at him and laughed.
"Did I miss something while I was gone?" I asked. Everyone's laughter came back.
"Oh boy hun, you missed soooo much!" Howie cried.
"AW MAN! Now I feel left out!!!" I exclaimed. D gave me a hug. "What are you hugging me for?! YOU'RE the one who made it this way!" Howie gave me a confused look. I sighed and let down my guard. Usually did anyways. His eyes usually did that to me. They always had. That's why I had always always always confided in him. When I was in junior high and he was at home, he'd come over and we'd sit on my bedroom floor and talk about everything. It was cool to have someone who knew literally everything about me. I let my head drop back and hang over the seat of the chair, closing my eyes.
"HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GUYS! WHAT'S UP!!!" Amy yelled at the top of her lungs. Tae was at the other window.
Very faintly, we could hear her answer, "I wanna get off this bus!" Amy laughed.
"SO DO I!!!!" she answered back.
"CAN I COME HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS?!" Kristin wanted to know, smashing Teresa out of the window.
"THINK YOU CAN MAKE THAT FLYING LEAP OVER HERE?!" Dani hollered, sitting up next to Amy.
"I DUNNO! WE CAN TRY!!!!" Kristin replied. The four of them laughed, then waved goodbye and shut the windows.
"Next concert is...when?" I asked.
"Tomorrow night," Howie informed me. "Are you ready?"
"Uhhh no?" I answered, questioningly. Just then, we pulled to a stop. Jeff began talking to somebody, and Kevin pulled open the curtains that Dani had just closed. We noticed a bunch of beautiful trees and great scenery, though it was dark outside.
"Hey guys Springer's on!" Nick called from the back room. Just about every person in the bus jetted to the back and smashed in seats.
"Oh my god! I've seen this one!" Emily exclaimed.
"It's the one where the siblings are having sex and they tell their mom isn't it?" J wanted to know.
"J, you and Dennis Rodman could be great friends..." I randomly stated.
"SHOPPING BUDDIES!!!" Danielle, Amanda, Emily, Amy and I all cried. We laughed so hard our sides hurt.
"Yeah me and Denny. Best buds for life," Bone sarcastically replied. Emily hit his knee in reaction. We had hardly noticed that the bus had started moving again.
"UH GUYS?!" Jeff yelled from his seat in the front of the bus. "WE'RE IN YELLOWSTONE!!!" Almost immediately, Kevin, Brian, Amanda, and Howie all ran out to look out the windows.
"Uh, don'tcha think it's kinda dark to look out the window?" Nick wondered.
"So?!" Brian exclaimed. The remainder of us laughed and rolled our eyes. The bus pulled to a stop before we were able to tell them how lame they were being.
"Hey guys you can get out," Jeff told us. The ten of us scrambled out of the bus, grabbing the dogs as we ran. The entire vehicle shook as we shoved each other out of the way. Our dear bus driver watched in pure amazement, laughing to himself. There were some lights where the buses were parked, and we quickly reunited with the dancers and the band. Ro Ro, Reggie, Kristin, and Tae had spent the day with the band. Mindi, though she loved her boys in the bus, spent the night with Nef, who was by her lonesome.
Mindi and Nef walked off the bus looking a little out of it.
"A little bit of vodka girls?" Guy joked. Mindi looked at her bandmate over her frames.
"Oh did you want to join us? I'm sorry Guy. I didn't think you qualified as a girl. But if you want to, we can call you up next time we watch the Chippendales tape Nef bought," she sighed. "Just make sure you bring some wine and beer, okay?" Mindi reached over and patted Guy's shoulder. He laughed and then gave her a straight face. "Oh you don't want to? Aw man I thought we had a third member of our party!"
"Drat. Guy, you ruined our night," Nef exclaimed, snapping her fingers. We watched them, laughing as Em, Amy, Manda, Dani, Tae, Kristin, and I all offered to be a part of the Chippendales and vodka groupies. We were soon greeted by a park ranger, though, who told us we needed to leave the dogs before we could be able to go out and see the park by flashlight. We did this and soon were off.