"Ask me why my parents moved out here and I couldn't tell ya..." I sighed. We had arrived in Sacramento, then Howie, AJ, Nick, Amanda, Danielle, and I had rented a car from the Hyatt Regency to take a drive out to my grandma's house. My dad sent me directions, so I had AJ drive the car to the house, which appeared to be in the middle of nowhere. Kevin and Brian were going to go to the town my parents lived in to visit some relatives, but were going to stop by to see everyone on their way back, then the eight of us would head back to Sacramento for our concert the following night.
My grandmother lived way out in the country. I had remembered loving her ranch when I was little, but I couldn't remember what it was like for the life of me. We eventually made it out there, after two and a half hours of driving on freeways. Cars were lined up on the grass around the tennis court and the house, and people were piled around the red deck beside the tennis court. We got out of the Explorer we were in and made our way to where everyone else was.
"Heyyy!" I hollered. Mom and Dad turned around and saw me, then immediately walked over, followed by my sister. They gave me hugs and said hi to Howie. Rachelle added hellos to Howie, Nick, and AJ, then turned to me.
"Where's Kevin?" she wanted to know.
"He and Brock went to go visit a friend. They'll be here later," I told my disappointed sister.
"Who's Brock?" Rachelle wondered.
"That's Brian. I just call him Brock," I explained.
"You are so weird, Steph," she sighed.
"Yeah well I haven't changed much now have I?" I almost snapped. Howie rescued us from a potential argument.
"Rachelle this is Amanda and Danielle. They're some friends of ours," he introduced them. Rachelle smiled and said hi. Before long, everyone else was crowded around us. I recognized a few of my aunts and uncles, but it was sort of weird because I had never really met them.
"I cannot believe your father is letting you go out with him!" my Aunt Carol exclaimed, pointing to D.
"Shut up! Dad's known him since he was a baby!" I cried out in defense. My aunt rolled her eyes.
"Hey you guys are those Backstreet Boys aren't you? The ones Steph's always talking about?" my Aunt Dot said, coming up. "What's that thing on your chin?" she asked AJ.
"I like to call it my own work of art," J joked.
"If you guys don't stop being mean, we're gunna leave!" I declared. My other aunts came up and said hi, as did my cousins, but the ones who were older and prettier didn't really say much. They talked to AJ and Nick, but shied away from me.
My Uncle Jim came by and whispered into my ear, "Where'd you find these guys?!" I glared at him, jokingly. He laughed, walking away. My cousin Sara came up and started to talk to Howie and ask him all these questions, which he had to laugh about. I told my aunts what life was like touring and how much I enjoyed it. Amanda and Danielle eventually got attention from my older cousins, who talked to them about dancing and traveling and the basic stuff.
Eventually, Kevin and Brian did show up. I noticed their rental car driving up and parking beside our Explorer, and ran over to them. Kev and Brock got out of their car and walked toward where everyone was.
"Glad you guys made it!" I cried. They smiled.
"That town your parents live in is so tiny and quiet," Brian told me.
"That's probably why they moved!" I exclaimed.
"This place reminds me of my dad's place," Kevin reminisced.
"Cool, isn't it?" I asked him.
"Yeah. Got any horses?" he wanted to know.
"NO! I'm so angered by that! I remember asking my grandma a long time ago if
she could put horses out here but my dad said that was absurd," I explained.
"It's nice and big, though," Kevin sighed. He loved the country, was always a
country boy at heart. We made our way back to the crowd and my sister immediately noticed his presence. Her face became a brighter shade of its usual red. I introduced Kevin to her and he said hi. Just then, Dani and Manda walked up and put their arms around their men. Hence Rachelle was smart enough to back off (that was a miracle. I had thought she would beat Dani down). We weren't gunna be able to stay for too long. I had to get back to practice and the guys wanted sleep. AJ really enjoyed flirting with my cousin who looked like Jennifer Love Hewitt more than anything. Nick was having a ball with my cousin who was a bit younger than me. Before long, I knew I'd have to drag them away. That before long came sooner than expected. I gave my mom a birthday present because her birthday would be in a week, then we said goodbye and piled back into our cars for the ride home.
"Steph we have Phantom of the Opera to see tonight!" J suddenly cried. I looked at him excitedly. Then I gave him a high five.
"I completely forgot Bone!" I exclaimed. "What the heck am I gunna wear? I have no nice clothes!"
"We'll go buy you something," Howie suggested.
"No! You are not wasting ANY more money on me! That's it! No more Howieeee!" I cried out.
"What?! Just trying to make my girl look decent!" he said innocently, staring at the road ahead as he drove.
"Yeah but so?! I don't want you to waste all your money on me! I don't need it!" I almost began to whine. I sat in shotgun, leaning over the back as I talked to Nick and AJ in the back of the Explorer. D looked at me.
"But I can. That's why I do," he told me. I had no argument to that. Especially when big brown eyes were staring me down. I sighed and turned around to stare out the window, with a huff.
We reached Sacramento in no time. Brian, Kev, Dani, and Manda were not far behind. It was nice not having to go out with bodyguards. Sometimes we would, but the occasions became more and more rare. Due to lack of time, Howie wasn't going to be able to take me out shopping for a dress to where to the theater, which was right next to the hotel.
We had about a half hour before the show, and the eight of us had begun to wait for each other in the hallway. I had borrowed one of Teresa's dresses. Luckily, it was one that was a little big on her so it fit me perfectly. The guys were all in nice looking suits and Amanda and Danielle were in some dresses they had brought along. Once everyone was ready, we headed out. No bodyguards tonight either. We would be able to hold our own.
We got to the theater and found our seats in the orchestra. Nice seats, in the dead center, up near the front. We got situated and watched as the lights dimmed. I hadn't seen the production in years and couldn't wait to see it again. The dancing was extravagant and the songs were so memorable.
At intermission, nobody really wanted to get up and do anything like wait in long lines for the bathroom, so we all sat around in our seats.
"Man, I always wanted to do this show," AJ sighed.
"Man I did this show," Nick pointed out.
"Shut up!" AJ cried, jokingly.
"Yeah AJ you'd probably get up there and do a strip show...you're good at that!" Dani teased.
"Nah. Dani you just wish it was another sneek peek at Kevin," I muttered. Danielle laughed, remembering the slumber party. Kevin was giving his girlfriend an extremely bewildered look. Dani and I looked at him and smiled big smiles. Then I turned back around to face Nick, who was on the opposite side of me.
"Sooo Nicky...tell me bout this little experience you had playing the Phantom in elementary school..." I said, trying to hide from Kevin's wide-eyed look.
"What are you guys talking about?!" Kevin and Brian cried out, simultaneously.
"Oh hm nothin'!" Amanda said, squirming a bit as she rested her chin on her fist, looking up. The three of us girls couldn't stop giggling. Dani gave me a look that meant Death in my book.
"Oh Kevin...you are just sooo modest..." I giggled. "Sleeping with no clothes on..."
"YOU! Are dead! No more Dancer Girl after tonight!" Dani exclaimed.
"And they call ME Boner...oh well...welcome to the club, man!" AJ called to Kev. His face got a little red. We three girls were still giggling. Howie and Nick and started to laugh as well. Pretty soon the only one not laughing was Kevin.
"Hey AJ--you know the perfect place for you?" I asked J. He looked at me, eyebrows raised. "The McLean Asylum for the INSANE!!"
"Danielle I can't believe you told them!" Kevin sternly replied. She looked at him, her eyes a little wide and her face red. Amanda and I saw this and cut in.
"Wait Kev! Nooo! We read it in a magazine!" Amanda stopped him. "You know how those things are!!! Don't get mad at Danielle!" Kevin looked back at Dani.
"You and I are having a talk when we get back into the hotel..." Kevin said to Danielle in a low voice. She gave him puppy dog eyes, then the three of us giggled some more.
"And I thought I was the only one..." AJ mumbled to himself, as the lights dimmed again.
"That was such an awesome show!!!" AJ told me as he signed an autograph. I smiled.
"Yeah. But I must say the intermission was ten times as fun," I answered. J laughed.
"Tell me about it Gilli!"
"Kev's never gunna hear the end of it is he?" AJ laughed at my question.
"Nope." I giggled and waited a little bit as the guys finished signing autographs and we dashed out into the darkness. Kevin was silent, pretty much refusing to say anything. We hurried back to the hotel in the bitter cold, wrapping arms around each other as we tried to stay warm between buildings. We got inside and went to the back elevator to get up to the top. As soon as we got to the top floor, everyone parted ways and Kevin immediately led Dani into their room, not saying a word. None of us were quite sure what the outcome of that would be, but I was praying that I wouldn't get Danielle in trouble. Howie and I went into our room and shut the door behind us, considering everyone was busy doing something and there was no point in keeping the door open for people to stop by.
"That play is always one of my favorites," Howie said, undoing his tie. I took it from him and put it in its rightful place, then grabbed my pajamas and went into the bathroom to change. When I got out, I rolled up the sleeves to my black shirt and fell down on the bed. Howie took over the bathroom while I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels, looking for something to watch. Nothing was on so I turned off the TV and turned on the radio. I found a station playing Christina Aguilera's "What A Girl Wants" and got up to dance to it. Just then, D opened the door and saw me dancing around. He laughed as I started to sing and dance for him. The song ended and I fell back down on the bed.
"You know, it gets so lonely when I'm by myself at home. It's too quiet," I told D. He sat down on the bed beside me.
"Well you have a whole big house to yourself. What's wrong with that?" he wanted to know.
"I dunno D. It's just that....I like commotion. When I'm by myself, I have to entertain myself. It gets boring. I get lazy," I explained.
"You? Lazy? That's hilarious!" Howie remarked. "If you're lazy, I'm an unsuccessful singer." I gave him a Look and then ended up laughing.
"Shut upppp!" I whined. "So have you called your mom today?"
"Yeah this morning. She said I need to stop calling her every day. It's driving her insane," D informed me.
"Well, yeah. What do you expect? We're gunna be home in three weeks," I reminded him.
"That's right! Ha! Can't wait to be home for Christmas. Thanksgiving is going to be odd though. I hate having to have Thanksgiving on the road. It's just not the same," Howie sighed. "Hey turn on the TV. Let's see what's on."
"Howieee...it's midnight. There's nothing on at midnight!" I cried.
"Springer!" he declared. I rolled my eyes, then looked for my dog. As we had arrived back at the floor, I had gotten Chache from Kris, who was dog-sitting him, so I knew the dog was somewhere in the room. I found him and stuck him in the bathtub, on his favorite blanket. We were watching the dumb show intently, laughing at the fakeness and stupidity of it, when I suddenly noticed Howie in the audience sitting beside a bodyguard.
"OH MY GOSH! You were there!!! I completely forgot you went to see a taping of Springer!!!" I laughed. Almost immediately, I grabbed the phone and dialed up AJ's room. "Bone turn it to channel 5! It's the taping of Springer that Howie went to when we were in Chicago!!!" Bone laughed and said thanks before I hung up and made a point to call every room that we inhabited. Howie, meanwhile, was shaking his head, laughing his head off. "Where was AJ at the time?"
"I think Bone was doing something. I don't remember. All I know is I wanted to go but no one else did," he informed me. I laughed so hard, imagining Howie in the audience, bewildered at the chaos on the stage. Within seconds I saw him laughing on the TV screen. The phone rang. D reached over and picked it up.
"Hello? Uh huh. Hehe. Well I am in the middle of something so I can't stay on the phone. Sorry! Bye!" Howie hung up the phone as quickly as he could.
"Just by first guess...was it a fan?" I wondered. D smiled, indicating that I was right. We got those calls at just about every hotel. We stayed under aliases, but girls often would just call every phone number on the suite floor until they found a familiar voice. The guys got so annoyed by it. A few times they had tried to hold decent conversation but the fans would just scream and holler, so they'd make an excuse and hang up. They couldn't be mean to the very people who were the reason they were so successful. That was like biting the hand that fed them. They knew their limits. They knew how to handle things. The guys were NOT amatuers.
"So anyways. About this being home alone. Do you want to get a roomie who can take care of the dogs and the house while we're gone?" D suggested.
"Well actually I was thinking more on the terms of getting you out of your parents' house. D you are twenty-seven years old. Aren't you a bit too old to be living with them?!" I pointed out.
"Oh so you want me to move in with you, eh?" he joked.
"Well let's see...going over what I just
said...getting...you...out...of...your...parents'...house...somehow I think that falls under the terms of moving in with me..." I pondered. Howie grabbed a pillow and smacked me in the head. "HEY!" I grabbed the pillow out of his hands and stuck my tongue out at D.
"Ohhhh actin like a little kid, eh?" D teased. I scrunched my nose at him, recieving a wink in return.
"Okay in all seriousness now," I immediately tried to calm my giggles. "Do you want to? It would be cool. No real change from what things have been lately."
"Yeah but you do realize that you are putting yourself at risk of having your house found by fans..." D made sure.
"Come on. Howie I've lived through it all! We'll be okay! I swear! It's all good, bro!" I cried.
"Okay just checkin..."
"D you worry too much," I sighed, shaking my head at him. "But come on your parents will love me for doing this!!!" Howie chuckled. He leaned over and gave me a kiss.
"Ooo haven't had one of those in awhile!" I smiled at him. D gave me another one. "Ooo we need to spend more time alone together. I miss it!" I sat for a second, looking into Sweet D's eyes. "See?! One of the benefits of moving in with me: more time together!" He laughed, gave me another kiss, turned off the TV, and went to the bathroom. I turned on the radio once more to some random station that was playing "This Magic Moment," one of my favorite oldies songs that always reminded me of the movie The Sandlot. Howie came back out in some pajamas, and made me scoot over so he could crawl in bed.
"Miss those silkies don't you?" I asked.
"Yup. Hey, your dog is asleep in the bathtub so I didn't wake him up," D told me. I thanked Howie, then walked into the bathroom myself. When I came out, I, too, climbed into the bed. I turned off the radio and the light by the bed, and said goodnight to D, then turned on my side and fell asleep.
"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Our screams echoed throughout the backstage area. All of us girls finished our screaming and departed from our circle. Just a ritual!!! RoRo walked by with his hands over his ears.
"Is there any chance that you guys will ever NOT do that?!" he yelled.
"Ha! Rituals are never stopped," Danielle informed Ro.
"Yeah ROLAND!" Nef yelled at him. They stuck their tongues out at each other, before Ro Ro walked away.
I was more pumped up than usual. My family would be in the audience tonight. I was extremely giddy about that. I missed not having them in the audience, so this would be quite fun for me. After awhile we were ready, and on stage. We didn't have time to miss being onstage. We were always on it. The guys were hilarious to watch though. We girls were always supposed to look like perfect little dancers while the guys could really play with the audience. It got a little annoying sometimes but girls were always supposed to look like professionals. More so than the guys. We stuck in our ear monitors and jumped around a bit, getting a little crazy. Stretched a bit, made sure we were ready...then got on stage with our torches.
It's funny how doing such a thing over and over never grew tedious. Dancing at
the concerts was a different experience each time. Always an adventure. Before long, the guys were singing "The Perfect Fan." Sometimes we girls liked to sneak up and watch them sing to the moms. Surprising, yet not, Howie grabbed my mother and sister and pulled them onstage. I thought that was way too cute. I was forever grateful that he didn't grab me. We watched, then eventually left to finish getting completely ready.
"Are you ready for some more? Are you ready for some more? Are you ready for some more? Are you ready for some more?" I sang as we walked around backstage, trying to get everything cleaned up. So many people were backstage. You just had to watch your step and not bump into anyone. My parents and sister didn't come backstage before or after the concert, due to too much commotion and too little room. I was a little bummed that we would be leaving California that night and we hadn't even gotten to check out the coastal towns I had always wanted to see. In LA, one of Ro Ro's friends and old girlfriends met up with us and stayed the night with us. She was a real sweetie and I could see the connection between her and Ro Ro immediately.
"You know, we never get to be silly anymore. Like when we're home. I miss that," Amanda sighed as she sat in the dressing room, cell phone to ear. She was put on hold and had been waiting for a few minutes. It was unclear what she was on the phone about.
"What are you talking about? We're silly everyday!" I cried, putting my makeup and glitter away.
"Yeah but it's not the same type of silliness. Haven't you noticed it? I think that's what living together does to us you know?" Dani included. They were right. Funny how right they were. I sighed and continued throwing clothes into a duffle bag. Teresa and Nef were beside me.
"Oh guys guess what?" Kristin suddenly cried, walking into the room. We all turned to look at her. "I talked to Niki. She's hoping to come back and join us on tour after break!" We all grew excited. We missed Gimpy so much. Then, Red turned to Danielle. "Dani it has been so awesome having you dance with us. You have been sooo great!!! We know we can depend on you if Gimp hurts herself again!" Danielle laughed.
"Well that's good to know!!" she exclaimed. Just then, Amanda hung up her cell phone and tossed it behind her on the dressing table.
"Well, everyone thinks Brian and Leighanne are dating again," she sighed. We all shrugged, knowing this would happen. Manda hopped off the dressing table, grabbed her phone and walked out of the dressing room. Kris, Dani, Tae, Nef, and I threw all of our stuff back into the bags and zipped them up. We checked everything to make sure we weren't leaving anything behind, and cleared the room, Nef turning off the light behind her.
"Hey guys what are we going to do for Thanksgiving dinner?" Brian called from his comfy spot in the back of the bus. I was in the front of the bus, curled up in a ball with my arms wrapped around my knees as I tugged at a piece of beef jerky that Nick had given me, a KY University cap atop my head. D was sitting at the computer, checking out his message board and answering questions on it. Nick was chatting on his computer. Amanda and Danielle were sitting in the back, playing a videogame as Kevin watched on.
"No clue. We could go out to some fancy restaurant or order room service and eat in the hall," Nick answered.
"Yeah look like a bunch of scrubs," Amanda called.
"I don't want no scrubs, a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me. Hangin out the passenger side of his best friend's ride. Tryin to holler at me..." Dani and I simultaneously began singing. Immediately realizing we had done this, we burst into fits of laughter.
"Man Steph. If you could sing, I'd consider having you, Dani, and Manda form a trio. That would be awesome. You could open for us..." Howie trailed off.
"Hey man I heard that the label has just signed this girl singer who is gunna be our opening act with AC next year," Nick suddenly brought up.
"Who? That Mandy Moore chick?" Kevin asked.
"No. Courteney something," Nicky answered. "She's a few years younger than Steph, I think."
"Oh cool. That will be fun to have someone younger than me besides Aaron!" I cried out.
"Yeah maybe you can go stay on her bus," Brian joked.
"SHUT UP BROCK!" I yelled back. I could hear him laughing from the back of
the bus. I finished up the beef jerky and went to find my dog. Chachi was lying on the couch in the backroom. I grabbed one of his toys and lured him to the front of the bus, where I played with my doggie. It was one of those bleak moments in our bus where everyone was either doing something or sleeping. We were usually goofy but today was one of those moments. Tired from goofying around. Ready to just fall on the ground from bus lag. The break was coming in a few weeks and we were getting a bit excited about being home again.We missed homemade food, warm beds, and clean clothes. We missed family and houses and "normal" life. It showed in the huge phone bills. I was eager to get my rolls of film developed. Suddenly, something dawned on me.
"Hey Nicky, can I borrow one of your computers for a bit?" I asked. Without looking away from the one he was on, Nick said I could and told me where one of them was. I turned it on and hooked up to the net. Then, I dug out my planner and began to write some to my friends. First one: Tina. Had to tease the girl bout her sister. Tell her about life on the bus. Say a special hi to her little sis. I had been the worst at promising to keep in contact. I had heard from a few of the girls and guys, but I never had a chance to write back. The next letter would be to Ana, one of my closest friends from the shoot. She was way too cool and I loved her. Had to write Marco as well. AJ's equivalent when it came to being flirty. Eric, the cute brunette with gorgeous blue eyes and a wonderfully sturdy body. Oh I missed them all and I hadn't even seen the video yet!
"You guys ever watch MTV?" I wanted to know.
"Yeah I did a few days ago. I saw your video Gilli!" Nick told me.
"Really? How did it look?" I wanted to know.
"Great. It was really neat. The outfit was a bit unlike you but hey that's okay. You were paid to wear it!" he answered me. I rolled my eyes, giggling.
"Yeah yeah yeah Nicky..." I sighed, sending my last email, then going to Howie's message board. "Hey Sweet D, did Steve set up an account for me?"
"Yup. It's BSB_Dancer and your nickname on there is Gilli. That way you will be pretty anonymous at the board. I doubt anyone knows your nickname," Howie told me. I smiled, and signed on.
The board was crazy. Girls with names like HowiesDreamGirl or HowieDsLady made me laugh. Some of the posts featured "what is your favorite bsb song?" or "what word would you use to describe howie?" I read them, allowing a smile to spread across my face. The women that Howie attracted were downright hilarious. One post was titled "CHECK OUT THIS PIC!!!" So of course I did. I opened it up and immediately burst out in laughter. "Nice chest, hun," I said, turning to Howie. The comments below it were even more funnier. I had only been there for a few minutes and already I was beginning to love the board and its members.
"Hey Steph check out D's chatroom. I've been in there before and it is sooo funny! Sometimes the girls just sit there and gossip about the BSB," Nick called to me. So, of course I did. A few girls were in the chat, talking about the way the guys danced and who the best dancer was.
"Uh Nick...I don't think they like your dancing. You've been rated as the worst dancer of the guys," I informed Nintendo Brat. He laughed.
"God made me to play basketball, not dance!" Nick declared.
"AMEN!" everybody in the bus hollered.
"You got that right, brother!" Brian cried from the back of the bus. I thrust my hand in the air and bowed my head. D laughed. I decided to see what they would do and popped up saying 'I couldn't agree more.' Almost immediately, I received warm welcomes. The girls there seemed really nice. I decided not to reveal anything about my identity. My name was gillithedancer, though, so everyone asked if I was a bsb dancer. I told them no, just for the sake of privacy. They accepted the answer and left me alone about it. I talked for a little bit about the guys and other things in life, then departed. It had just become apparent that Howie really had attracted people who were most like him: sweet and kind, but silly and funny at the same time.