When we pulled up to the church I noticed the huge amount of limos parked in the lot. Again I had to laugh to myself. I thought of what the priest will say when he arrives. We parked next to the Mazda that belonged to Howie Doroughs neice Chelsea. Such a nice girl, I thought, Wonder what shes been upto latley. I got out of the car and took my sisters hand, making sure she didnt wander off in the snow. As we walked into the church I noticed Nick. I tried to smile at him, but my mouth just didnt want to. I quickly looked down and I started to cry again.
"Oh no.. please dont cry angel" I heareed Nick say.
"What?" I snapped my head up, to see A.j. looking at me with tears in his eyes.
"I said please dont cry angel" He repeated himself.
"Oh no..I heard what you said.. I just thought Nick said it" I explained.
"No, he couldnt..You know, say that" Aj softly said, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Your making me sad"
"I know, but I cant help it. With Nick and all.." I tried to finish but I couldnt. Aj just pulled me into a hug and rocked me. Telling me that everything was gonna be okay.
After a few more hellos and Im sorrys from other members of the community, Aj lead me and my family into the main church. He found us a pew close to the front by his mom and him. I noticed that from where I was sitting I could see Nick perfectly. His family was sitting close to him. All I wanted to do right then was scream at him, and yell at hm for leaving me, and making me miserable. I wanted him to feel the pain he was causing me right now, and how much i hated him, even thught I still loved him. I just wanted to make him understand that no matter what happened and how mad I was, that I loved him, and that, that feeling would never change.
The ceremony began around 11:00am. There were late comers that got rude glances from others in the church. Everything was quiet. There was soft music playing. I could make out the tune over what the preist was saying, It sure was nice. Thats when I heared my name. I looked over to my left to me my mom holding up her index finger to her mouth telling me to hush. I guess I was humming out loud. Ive always hated church. I glanced around seeing who had all come. I could see all the backstreet boys, their families, Nsync was there to..wow. Basically everyone was there. I started to listen to the priest talk not taking my tear swelled eyes off of Nick once.
After the priest was done talking, we all got up and made our way one at a time to the front of the church. When it was my turn, noone came with me, excpet Aj. he stood behind me as I kneeled infront the big oak box that contained my best friend in it. I took the box out of my pocket and retrieved the necklace from it. I opened up the locket to look at a picture of the two of us and closed it again. After a few moments of silently crying to myself and saying a prayer, I stood and put the neckalce into the hand of my best friend. Then I couldnt move. It was like I was paralized from the waist down. I freaked, and started crying even harder, yelling for Nick to help me, to make the pain go away.
"Stop let me go" I screamed as Aj grabbed me in a hug from behind.
"Angel stop, Its okay!" Aj said as he sat me down in a pew. "Its gonna be okay"
"No its NOT!" I cried into his shoulder. "hes gone, Aj, hes gone."
"He is yes, bu he'll always be with you here" He said pointing to his heart." You cant forget that."
"I know, I just dont want him to go." I said glancng at Nick over Ajs shoulder, hating im still for what he had done. Why ? Why did he have to leave me?
"Darling he was sick. But he's better now." Aj said comforting me.
"Yeah I guess your right." i told him. "Can I say good bye, one last time?"
"Comeon, Ill go with you again, but this time Im not gonna let go of you." He said helping me up.
It was sad walking back to the front of the church again, holding Aj's hand, knowing Nick was there. We walked upto the casket once again, where for the last time in 19 year, I will say good bye to my bestfriend. He just layed there, so still with the look of peace on his face finally. i grabbed his hand with tht neckalce still in it, and kissed him slightly on the forhead, a tear dropping on his face. I left it there, knowing he wouldnt mind, nor would anyone else. As I walked out of the church, I turned and looked on last time at Nick, laying in the casket. I whispered i love you and then blew him a kiss, and continued on my way to the car to go to the burial site.
