Jokes
Jokes! Some of these are good and some are bad. Enjoy!
Top Joke:
- What does a hoover and a harley have in common? Dirt bags in different places!
Past Jokes
- What do you get when you put the Spice Girls and Matthew Good Band together? Hanson.
- How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to do the actual job and four to complain how much better they could have done it.
- I see said the blind man after the dead horse kicked him.
- When do you care for a man's company? When he own's it.
- How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote in between his feet!
- How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? Three if you slice them really thin!
- What did God say after creating man? I can do better than that!
- What did God say after creating Woman? Practice makes perfect!
- Three couples were having tea together. The first guy says to his wife pass the honey, honey. The second says to his wife pass the sugar, sugar. And the third says to his wife poass the tea bag!
- Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? So men can remeber them!
- What are a woman's four favorite animals? A mink in the closet, and jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all!
- How can you tell if you've been in a band too long? You start to understand the drummer!
- How do trumpet players park in handicap zones? They put drumsticks on the dashboard!
- How do you raise the town's IQ? Shoot the tuba player!
- How do you make a saxophone sound like a clarinet? Miss a lot of notes!
- What do you call a drummer with 1/2 a brain? Gifted!
- An old lady had a cold. So she went to the drug store to buy some asprin. When got on the bus she looked in her purse and the asprins were gone. Then she ran up and down the aisle yelling my ass burns my ass burns and the bus driver told her to stick it out the window and let it cool!
- A couple from Toronto decided to go to Florida, but the guy's wife was going to be a day late due to a business trip. When the guy got there he decided to email his wife, but accidently sent it to the wrong address. He had sent it to a woman who had just lost her husband a couple of days earlier. The widow opened her email, screamed, and fainted. Her daughter came rushing in and read the mail
- When is the best time to name your cat Midnight? When your cat is white!
