After returning from lunch, everyone headed back to their respective jobs and carried on with their day. The guys returned to their rehearsals while Ryan and Lois headed back down the hall to the office they had torn apart that morning while attempting to put together a suitable look for the tour.
Before parting ways, Ryan leaned in to hug Justin tightly. He returned the gesture, kissing her lightly on the cheek. She gave him one last squeeze before they pulled apart, to which he winced in pain. His ribs had been hurting him all morning, and that small action had caused a burning sensation to pulse through his chest.
Pulling back, she looked up at him with concerned eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." he said, giving her his best smile.
She looked at him closely. "Are you sure? Because you winced just now when I hugged you. Are your ribs hurting?"
"No, I'm fine. I didn't wince, it was just a chill. The air conditioning in here is a shock after being outside in the heat." he lied.
She didn't believe him for a second. "Justin, I...."
He cut her off with a raise of his hand. "Ry, I'm fine. Please, for the love of God, stop worrying already!"
The firm tone in his voice shocked her. He had never used that tone with her before. She was a little angry with him, but decided to leave the subject be until she could talk to him about it in private.
"Okay. Ill see you tonight?" she said, dropping the topic.
"You bet." Justin grinned down at her before kissing her gently.
"Com'on Romeo, lets go" Lance said as he pulled on Justins arm. "Wade is gonna have a fit if we don't get back in there."
Kissing Ryan quickly on the lips, Justin was pulled away as Lance dragged him down the hall. Justin winked at her before turning around to smack Lances hand off his arm.
Watching is retreating form, Ryan sighed.
She had been worried about him ever since he had moved back home and began working out again. Any time she tried to talk about how he was feeling he would always brush it off or say he was fine. He never let her dig further into the subject, which made her even more suspicious.
She had noticed the strange looks Chris had been giving him over lunch. He had looked over at Justin more than once with a look of concern. Chris had even given Ryan a look that made her think that he wanted to tell her something, but they hadn't been alone long enough for him to tell her anything.
Shaking her head at her thoughts, she made a mental note to call Chris later that night and see if everything was alright.
Maybe it didn't have anything to do with Justins accident, but she still wanted to make sure that everything was okay.
Turning around, she smiled as Lois and Joey were making a huge public display of affection in the middle of the hall. Chris stood behind them, dramatically checking his watch.
"When are they going to come up for air?" he asked sarcastically as he leaned over to get a better look at them. They seemed oblivious to his presence, as they were completely enveloped in each other at the moment.
Waving a hand at the side of their faces, Chris called out. "Hel-lo?"
Kissing Joey quickly on the lips, Lois turned to give Chris an annoyed look. "Can I help you, little man?"
"Um, I'm sorry Mrs. Cleaver, but can Joey come out to play?" Chris replied teasingly.
"He's already playing, now buzz off." Joey called as he nuzzled Lois. She giggled playfully before shrugging his face from her neck.
"Com'on, Joey!" Chris began to whine. "Wade is going to kick our asses if we don't get in there. He's gonna make us do the hokey pokey again like the last time you caused us to be late."
Rolling his eyes at his friend, Joey kissed Lois one last time before heading down the hall to the rehearsal room. "Ill see you tonight?" he called as he walked backwards down the corridor.
"Ill be there," she replied. "With bells on." Her suggestive stare made Ryan wonder if that had more meaning than most people would think it did. And by the look on Joeys face, it probably did.
Returning to their small office, Ryan and Lois resumed their positions on the floor as they began to flip through the papers in front of them.
They worked in silence for a long while before Ryans thoughts broke free. "I think something's wrong with Justin." she said as she looked up at Lois.
"You're only just figuring this out now?" she replied sarcastically as he flipped through a packet of images.
"No, I'm serious. He's been acting a little odd since he moved home, and he wont even talk to me about it." Ryan ran a hand over her face before laying back on the floor. "I know he's been pushing himself too hard at home with his workouts, but I thought he would slack off once rehearsals started. But it seems like he's working here all day, then going home and working out more. He isn't eating right, he's not getting enough sleep, and I am certain that his leg and or ribs are bothering him. He's just not admitting to any of it." Ryan rambled on as she stared at the ceiling above her.
Lois look over at her and noticed the serious look on her face.
She, too, had noticed the recent changes in Justin. She had known him a long time, and knew just how stubborn he could be when he set his mind to something. When it came to his career, he was the most focused and determined person she had ever met. But that dedication could also be a downfall at times. She knew he would not want to hold anything or anyone back more than he already had, but she hoped that he would take his time and ease back into things instead of charging forward and forcing results. But it looked like the old Timberlake hard head was at work, and he was pushing himself to the breaking point.
"Do you want me to get Joey to talk to him?" Lois offered.
Ryan thought for a moment before shaking her head. "No. I think he would just get mad and think that we were all ganging up on him." Sitting up slightly, Ryan leaned her weight back on her elbows. "I'm just going to sit him down and make him talk to me about it tonight."
Lois nodded as she looked back down to the picture at her feet.
It was an image of Justin from the No Strings Attached tour. He was dressed in his 'Just Got Paid' outfit, smiling goofily at the camera. She had taken that picture when she was putting the outfits together before the tour even started, and had made each guy pose for pictures in each outfit. Both for her file, and for her own viewing pleasure.
She grinned at his worry free expression.
Lois sighed as she silently prayed that Justin would one day be that worry free again.
Ryan and Lois had called it quits by seven that evening. They had come up with a few ideas that would probably work, and had decided to meet back up tomorrow to start throwing together rough sketches.
Driving down the highway on her way to Justins, Ryan couldn't stop herself from expecting the worst.
She hadn't had the chance to talk to Chris yet, but the more she thought about it the more she was convinced that something was wrong with Justin.
He had been irritable, even though he tried to hide it. And Lois had mentioned that Joey said he was lagging in rehearsals, which was not like him at all.
Pulling off the highway, she turned down a quiet road and smiled as she passed a small park.
It reminded her of the day they had spent with Doc. The day before he died. Ryan wished she could go back to that day, knowing what she knew now in the hopes of helping Justin through this better than she had. Maybe if she hadn't let him handle it on his own the last couple of weeks, things would be different.
She knew that it was stupid to wish for things that were impossible to change, but she still thought of the possibilities anyway.
Turning onto his road, she began to run through her speech in her mind of what she was going to say to him. She had to make sure she approached the topic gently, since he had made it not-so-subtly clear that it wasn't his most favorite subject. But it had to be dealt with before things got worse and he put himself back in the hospital.
Pulling into his driveway, she drove up to the garage before shutting off the engine and stepping out of the car into the warm night air.
It was a clear night. Not a cloud in the sky as millions of stars brightened the sky around the moon. A warm breeze ruffled the leaves on the trees around the property, sending a soft sound through the air.
Walking up the steps, Ryan pulled out her key and slid it into the lock. Opening the door, she entered his foyer as the cool air from the house hit her warm skin.
She dropped her purse and keys on the small table inside the door, removing her shoes and jacket to toss in the closet nearby.
Looking around the quiet house, she had a feeling he would be in the gym, but called out to him anyway. "Justin?"
"In here." his voice called from the living room.
She couldn't stop the shocked look from coming to her face at the fact that he was actually not downstairs in his gym. This had been the first night she hadn't found him down there, working away on the treadmill, or pumping weights with his legs.
Entering the living room, she smiled at his form.
He was curled up on his side as he lay on the couch watching TV. His hands were tucked safely beneath his head as he tired eyes focused on the images in front of him. He looked so cute laying there, that she almost changed her mind about the conversation she wanted to have.
Almost.
"Hey" she said as she sat down at his feet.
"Hey" he answered as he turned his head slightly to grin at her.
"You're not working out." she pointed.
"Nope. I did that already, and now I'm watchin' sports." he said as he turned his attention back to the TV.
Ryan nodded before looking down at her hands, which were folded in her lap.
She wasn't sure if she should wait until later before bringing up the inevitable conversation, or if she should just jump right to it. Knowing she would drive herself crazy if she waited, she chose the latter.
"Justin, can I talk to you about something?" she asked softly.
"Ummhmm." he replied as his eyes stayed focused on the TV as a commercial with a dancing football made him laugh.
"I want to talk to you about the pain you've been having." Might as well just be honest, she thought.
Justins body noticeably tensed before he answered her dully. "I'm not having any pain. I told you that."
"Yes, I know you said that, but I also know that that's not true."
Justin turned his head to look at her. His eyes were drawn into an angry stare. "What's that supposed to mean? That I'm lying to you?"
Ryan swallowed before nodding. "Yes." she replied honestly.
Justin sat up, leaning his back against the back of the couch. Running his hands over his face, he sighed loudly with frustration. "Ryan, I'm fine. Okay? I am fine! The only pain I am having is stiff muscles cause of all the work Ive been doing. Nothing else."
"But then why did you wince earlier when I hugged you? Or why did you wince all those times in rehearsals?" Justin was about to protest, but she continued. "JC told me last week that he noticed you having trouble, but that would just dismissed his concern. Just like you do with me, and Lois, and everyone else. Justin, I love you, and I don't want you to end up hurting yourself more just for the sake of some tour!"
Justin turned to her angrily. "I AM FINE!" he yelled. "Why cant you just let it go, already! Yes, I admit I was having a little pain when I started working out before, but I am fine now! I can handle it!" His voice was getting louder as he spoke, but Ryan stood her ground.
"But you're not getting enough sleep, and you're not eating right either. I know you're not, so don't deny it! You barely ate your lunch today, and I bet you hardly had anything for dinner, either. You get up early and to go bed late, and even when you do go to bed, you don't sleep well. You toss and turn all night. And don't deny that, because I sleep in the same bed as you and I know its true!" Ryan pointed at him as she yelled back.
"What do you want from me?" he yelled, exasperated.
"For you to admit that you're having trouble! To admit that you're hurting and need more time to work this out. Pushing yourself too hard is only going to hurt yourself more! You almost died Justin, and I...."
"ENOUGH!"
His scream shook the walls around them, as Ryan jumped at his outburst.
He was standing now, looking down at her angrily as he fought to control his temper.
He knew she loved him and only wanted him to be okay, but he was so sick and tired of everyone asking if he was alright all the fucking time. His mother, the guys, Johnny, Wade, Ryan, Lois, Cheryl, Monica, Lynn, the fucking mailman, the pizza delivery guy.........everyone! He just couldn't take it anymore.
"I don't want to have to tell you this again, Ryan!" he yelled as he glared down at her. "I am FINE! F-I-N-E! FINE! I am not a child, and I can handle my own body! I will work through this on my own at my own pace, and I will NOT hold everyone back anymore than I already have. I am not going to sulk and pout and sit back to wait for things to happen. I'm going to MAKE them happen. Now please, just let this go and leave me the fuck alone!"
Before he said anything else he may regret, Justin stormed out of the living room. Seconds later, the front door slammed behind him, leaving Ryan alone in the house.
Letting her breath out, Ryan hadn't even realized she had been holding it.
Justin had never spoken to her like that before. He always promised never to raise his voice to her in anger. His mother used to tell him that if he spoke when he was angry, he would give the best speech he would ever regret. He didn't want to have anything to regret with Ryan, and always made it clear that he would never yell at her or say things to her in anger. He didn't want to say anything or do anything to hurt her to make her cry.
Looking around the room, she sighed, the action causing her chin to quiver as the tears fell from her eyes.
It scared her to know that she had pushed him to the point of breaking that promise.
