Thunder pounded outside as crashes of lightening filled the morning sky with light. Rain pelted the windows in a steady assault, hitting hard before sliding down the smooth surface in streaks. The sky was a dark gray, as the storm above continued it threatening dominance on the ground below.
The weather outside was unknown to the sleeping figures sprawled on the living room floor. Pillows, blankets, popcorn and movie cases scattered across the room as a reminder of the night before.
A loud crash of thunder pounded through the sky, jarring one of the sleeping figures awake. Stirring slightly, the figure groaned before pulling the blanket over its head in an attempt to escape the outside world.
A flash of lightening brightened the dimly lit room, causing another groan from the annoyed figure.
Pulling the blanket down to her shoulders, Ryan raised her head and looked around the room. Squinting her eyes, she tried to focus on the mess around her.
Covering her eyes with her hand, Ryan laid her head back down on her pillow as she yawned.
The storm outside began to register in her ears, and she turned to look out the large window to her right at the rain falling from the sky. Tiny droplets cascaded down the window, the steady sound of falling rain filling the room around her.
Yawning again, Ryan strained her neck to look above her, to where Lois was still sleeping peacefully.
Ryan grinned as the sound of Lois' soft snoring mixed with that of the rain outside.
The two woman had spent the entire night watching old movies, eating junk food and chatting away about anything that came to their minds. But the one topic they had steered clear from was Justin. This night was for Ryan to escape the drama that had enveloped her life, had to try and find some sense of normalcy again.
And it had worked very, very well.
They had fallen asleep around four am, and didn't even bother trying to make it to a bedroom. Lois had brought down pillows and blankets, and the two were quite content just sleeping on the floor where they had been all night.
Smiling up at Lois from where she lay on the floor, Ryan pushed herself up onto her hands and knees and crawled across the short distance between herself and her sleeping friend.
Reaching her side, Ryan sat back on her heels as she grinned down at Lois. She looked so innocent laying on the floor, her lip stuck out in a pout while she snored softly. Her left arm was stretched over her head, falling back with her hand placed lazily on the side of her face.
Ryan toyed with the idea of letting her sleep a little longer. She appreciated all that Lois had done for her the night before. She had sent Joey home to stay up all night comforting and keeping Ryans thoughts away from Justin. Lord knows she would probably remind her of that for a long time to come, and Ryan would probably never live it down that Lois had to send him home, but she appreciated it never the less.
A few evil ideas crossed her mind of what she could do to her sleeping friend. Lois was the master at tormenting people while they slept. Certainly her revenge on Joey that one night was proof positive to her vindictive ways, but she had never turned her talents towards Ryan. She would usually let her in on the prank, but had never pulled one on her. When Ryan thought about it hard enough, she realized that she was the only one that seemed safe from Lois and her wild imagination.
And she was certainly thankful for that. Having her hand glued to her own butt was not something she cared to experience.
Adjusting her position on the floor to pull herself into an Indian style form, Ryan sighed.
Last night had done wonders for her. When Lois had suggested a night of girlie things to take Ryans worries away from Justin, she never thought it would actually work. With all the drama and fighting going on between them, Ryan was certain that nothing would be able to sidetrack her mind from him.
But it had. Even if it was only for a little while, that short sense of freedom from the worries of her life had given her a renewed sense of strength. Strength to carry on the face Justin head on and force him into dealing with his problems rather than running away from them. Strength that she was sure she was going to need.
But, all good things must come to an end. It was now morning, and the stormy setting outside the safety of the house somehow felt appropriate to Ryan and the situation she found herself in. No matter how much she hated it, she had to confront Justin again and hope that he would one day come to realize that none of them were trying to control him or felt like he was unable to care for himself. All they wanted was the best for him, and all they cared about was that he got well again. But all he could see was his own pain and confusion, and it caused him to push everyone away that truly cared for him.
Sitting on the floor, Ryan found her thoughts carry her away. She couldn't understand why Justin was so angry at her for confronting him. She was certain that she was not the only one to do so. All the other guys felt the same way as she did, and JC had even told her that he was voiced his concerns to Justin weeks ago. He said that Justin only dismissed them, with his usual 'I'm fine' but surely he didn't expect everyone to accept that answer and leave it be.
She loved that man more than words could ever say, and the thought of him being angry at her for that love hurt her. If he really cared for her, he would take the time to consider her words. To think of her side of this and to why she would actually go to the trouble of confronting him unless it was truly necessary. He seemed too wrapped up in proving to everyone that he could care for himself, that he had forgotten how to care for those around him the way he used to.
Ryan couldn't remember the last time they had done anything together. A movie. Dinner. Even just sitting up at night talking like they had a million times before. When she thought hard enough, she couldn't even remember the last time he told her that he loved her. All he ever did was work. Work at the studio, work at home, and work in his mind. His life revolved around his recovery, but all that work was useless if it was driven in the wrong direction. All he was doing, was pulling himself apart.
Shaking herself from her thoughts, Ryan looked back to Lois. She hadn't moved and was still fast asleep in her safe little cocoon of blankets.
Looking up to the clock on the wall, Ryan as amazed to see that it was almost eleven o'clock. She was surprised that Joey wasn't outside knocking on the door complaining that no one loved him enough to let him in out of the rain.
Reaching out, Ryan gently shook Lois' shoulder. "Lois," she whispered. Why she was whispering when they were the only two in the room, she had no idea. "Wake up."
"Hurmph." was the only response Lois gave before stirring slightly and falling back asleep.
Ryan shook her a little harder, raising her voice to a normal speaking tone. "Lois. Wake up. Its almost noon."
A loud snort was the response this time, before Lois rolled over onto her other side to face away from Ryans voice.
Placing her hands back in her lap, Ryan looked around the room for something to assist in her current task. When her eyes fell on the object of choice, a sly grin pressed her lips.
Crawling over to the end table beside the couch, Ryan snatched the object from the table and placed is inches from Lois' ear. When she was satisfied with her arrangement, she placed her hand on the charger, positioning her finger over the desired button.
With a tiny movement of her finger, Ryan sent a chilling screech through the room from the phone at Lois' ear.
Lois flew into a sitting position, her eyes wide with shock. "CHICKENS AND DUCKS!" she yelled as she looked frantically around the room.
Ryan couldn't stop her laughter. She fell to her side on the floor, clutching her stomach as she giggled uncontrollably at the sight in front of her.
Lois' blonde hair was sticking out in every direction, as a tiny piece of popcorn hung from the strands. The right side of her face was lined with pillow creases, and her eyes were so wide they looked as if they were about to fall from her head.
When Ryans laughter registered to Lois, she turned her shocked eyes to her friend. "You little witch!" Lois glared at her as the realization hit her that Ryan was the cause of her rude awakening.
"I'm sorry, girl, but that was too tempting." Ryan wheezed between giggled. Sitting up again, Ryan wiped the tears from her eyes before smiling at Lois "What the hell is chickens and ducks?"
"What?" Lois looked at her confused.
"When you sat up all freaky and stuff, you screamed 'CHICKENS AND DUCKS'"
Lois looked at her like she had gone insane, her eyes squinting into a bewildered look. "What?" she repeated.
"Never mind." Ryan waved her hand at her friend as she dismissed the topic. Who knows what it meant. When Lois was coherent you barely understood what came out of her mouth, so being woken up the way she was, Ryan was just happy that she wasn't yelling something about her and Joeys sex life.
Lois shook her head at Ryan before running her hands over her tired face. Looking behind her, she focused her eyes on the clock on the wall. "Holy shit! Its almost eleven!"
"Yup. Looks like we slept in a little." Ryan said as she laid back down at the base of the couch.
Lois turned her eyes back to Ryan, a smile crossing her face.
This was certainly not the same girl that had come to her the night before. That girl had been lost, upset and confused. This one seemed happy, confident and secure. But that didn't mean that the other girl wasn't still lurking around, she was just temporarily pushed aside.
Lois had spent a great deal of time the night before wondering what to do about Justin. He had been hostile towards everyone over the past few weeks, but seemed to control that side of himself around Ryan. He never yelled or snapped at her, although he did tend to avoid and ignore her at times. Lois just assumed that was his way of keeping himself from losing his temper with her, but it obviously hadn't worked too well for him over the last two nights.
He was having a harder time keeping himself on track, this causing him to lose control in other ways. He felt lost and confused, his focus lying solely on getting himself back into his old pattern and ways. It was as if he had blinders on to the rest of the world, to what mattered around him, like the people in his life that had been there through the whole ordeal. He hadn't been out with them since coming home, and he hadn't even called to chat like he had done so many times before. Usually he would call Lois at insane hours wanting to chat about everything from his day to what words he spelled in his Alphabets that morning. But he hadn't done that since coming home. He was losing touch with everything but his determination.
Not that his dedication to rebuild his life was a bad thing. She was proud of the way he had handled everything that had happened to him over the past few months. He had worked hard to get himself back in shape and had complied with everyone at the hospital well. He didn't appear to hold any animosity towards the man who had turned his life upside down, and had dismissed any charges his lawyers advised him to press.
But since coming home, he had changed. He was still the same man in the way of his dedication, but now it was stronger. More determined to prove that nothing would hold him back anymore than it had. Even if it meant working harder than he knew he should, Justin was not going to let this stop him from reclaiming his life.
If only he would admit he needed the time, then things would be better. If he would just admit to everyone around him that he needed help, he would be able to move through this process so much easier. If he would just admit it all to himself.
Looking at Ryan, Lois smiled. "So," she stretched her arms over her head with a grunt. "What are we going to do today?"
"I don't know." Ryan shrugged as she picked at the thread on the carpet in front of her. "I don't really have any plans this weekend."
"What do you want to do?" Lois asked as she laid back down on her pillow.
Ryans face immediately fell, and Lois cursed herself for asking that question.
"To find Justin and help him through this." Ryans voice seemed to small and far away as she spoke.
Lois was at a loss of what to tell her. She didn't know what to do to help Justin anymore than Ryan did, so any advice she gave her would be just senseless ramblings.
But who was she to hold back her ramblings? She had never done it before, and wasn't about to start now.
"Honey, there is nothing you can do to help him." Lois rolled onto her side, placing her hands under her head as she spoke. "He has to help himself before anyone can help him. If he doesn't admit that he needs the help, nothing we say or do will get through to him." Ryan nodded blankly as Lois continued. "He is the most stubborn person I know, but with that comes the strength and determination he needs to work through this. This cant be easy for him, which is probably why he is pushing so hard. He is running and full speed into a brick wall, and he's going to hit soon. But I know him, and he will make it through. We just have to wait for him." Lois paused to look at Ryan before finishing. "And be there when he falls so we can help him back up."
Ryan nodded at the floor. She knew Lois was right, but she had been waiting for a long time now and Justin just kept going. He kept pushing harder and harder, and she was terrified that he was going to kill himself before hitting that wall.
The thunder roared outside, and she raised her eyes to the window as the rain fell against the glass.
She had always loved the rain. She would lay awake in bed for hours listening to it pour outside, feeling so safe and secure inside the comfort of her bed. Usually, in the comfort of Justins arms.
Today, she didn't love the rain.
