Lois groaned in frustration as she desperately tried to scrape the gunk from the bottom of the pan in her hands. But no matter how hard she scraped, the mess would not come off.
"What the fuck did Joey cook in here?" she yelled as her hand slipped and the spatula flew across the kitchen, landing on the floor with a tiny clink.
Ryan smiled at Lois' frustration. No matter now mad she got, or how much she bitched about Joey, she loved that stupid boy more than words could say.
"You love him, and you know it." Ryan teased as Lois slammed the pan on the counter.
"What Id love is for him to quit trying to cook Jello in my frying pan!"
"Why the hell is he trying to cook Jello in a frying pan?" Ryan asked, her face confused.
"I don't know!" Lois exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air. "Why did he have to start a wedgie war with Chris on the last tour that ended in me pulling my underwear out of my ass for a week? Who the fuck knows why Joey does the things Joey does!"
Ryan laughed out loud at her friend.
Lois gave her a look, before sitting down at the table across from her in a pout.
They had decided to just waste the day away at home. Neither of them knew what to do about Justin, and the stormy weather outside prevented them from going out and having any real fun. They would probably end up watching movies all day again, but right now they were still lounging around in their pajamas. And it was almost three in the afternoon.
Ryan quieted her laughter while Lois continued to pout across from her.
A loud clap of thunder caused Ryan to turn and look out the window behind her.
The storm was still in full force, the rain falling harder and harder by the minute. The power had flickered about an hour ago, threatening to shut off, but it had come back within a few minutes.
Looking down at the table in front of her, Ryan couldn't stop her thoughts from turning to Justin again.
She still didn't know what to do to help him. Lois was right, that she couldn't help him until he helped himself, but at this rate he would never help himself. He was too damn stubborn to admit that he needed help even from himself.
Lois noticed the look on Ryans face. The same look that had been there for the last few weeks while she worried about Justin. It made her angry to know that that stupid boy was being such a pain in the ass. If he was fourteen again, she would kick his ass. But now he was taller than she was, and whenever she tried to kick his ass now it would only end up in him sitting on her while she yelled and screamed bloody murder.
And she didn't want that. That boy was heavy.
"He needs a real awakening, is what he needs." Lois spoke up, breaking the silence.
"What do you mean?" Ryan asked, not looking up from her finger that traced an invisible line on the table.
"What I mean is, he needs something to make him realize what a jackass he is being. Something to break him out of this little funk he's got himself in and smarten him up." Lois stated.
"So what do you suggest?" Ryan asked, waiting to hear whatever insightful suggestion Lois had up her pajama sleeve.
"I don't know. I just said he needed an awakening, I didn't say I had one." she shrugged.
Ryan rolled her eyes before letting them fall back to her hands.
She began to ponder what would shake Justin up enough to realize what he was doing. There wasn't a thing in the world that they could say to snap him out of this. They had said it all already. It was to the point now where everything they said just went in one ear and out the other. His eyes would sometimes even glaze over when they started their usual speeches.
Nothing seemed to matter to him anymore. Nothing that held enough value in his heart to make any difference. Nothing that they could take away from him.
Except maybe one thing.
"I think I know what I need to do." Ryan said, her voice small and sad.
Lois brought her eyes from the cartoon sheep on her pajama sleeve to Ryan, as she looked at her confused.
"What?"
"Leave." she stated.
"What?" Lois repeated as if she hadn't heard it the first time.
"I said I need to leave." Ryan repeated more forcefully. "There is nothing we can say to snap Justin out of this. We are always there for him, helping him even though all he does is push us away. Maybe if I leave for a little while, he will realize was a dick he has been."
"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" Lois yelled, raising her hands in front of her. She couldn't seem to grasp this concept very well. "What do you mean leave?"
"I don't mean leave town, Lois. I just mean maybe move back in with my parents for a little bit. Not call him or go over anymore. Distance myself from him like he has been doing to me." Ryans eyes dropped back to the table top. "I don't know if it will work, or even if at this point he will even care, but its the only idea I have."
"Well, your idea sucks!" Lois stated plainly. "You cant leave him, Ryan! Yes, he is a jackass. Yes, I would love nothing more than to kick his scrawny, lily white ass from here to Canada, but you leaving is not going to help him. If anything, it will only tear him apart more."
"Well, its the only idea I have, okay!" Ryan snapped. "We have done everything, Lois. We've talked to him. We've tried identifying with him. We've slacked off on the rehearsals in the hopes that he would back off, too. But nothing is working. We keep giving, and he's not budging an inch. Maybe if we take something away, he will come around."
Lois dropped her eyes. Even though she hated to admit it, Ryan made sense. If Justin thought that he had lost her, he would probably bring himself around and focus on making things right with her rather than tearing himself apart. But a plan like this didn't come without its chances.
"What if it doesn't work?" Lois asked quietly.
"What do you mean?"
"What if it doesn't work? I mean, what if he lets you go. If he doesn't fight to make things right and realize why this is happening?" Lois could hardly believe she was saying these words, but they left her mouth before she had a chance to think about them.
She tended to do that a lot, lately.
"Then I guess he doesn't really love me." Ryan stated flatly.
"But you know he does." Lois countered, giving the young girl a stern look.
"Then let him prove it." she replied just as sternly as she turned to look back out the window.
Justin squinted his eyes as he stared out the windshield of his car. The rain was falling so hard that he couldn't hardly see the road in front of him, but he didn't stop. It was beginning to get dark outside, the gray clouds making the sky darken faster as night fell.
He had spent the day at JCs, talking about what actions to take to help Justin work through everything. They had come up with a few interesting ideas on how to make things up to Ryan for all the shit he had put her through, but the main one that stood out to both of them was the simplest. Just admitting that he was wrong and needed help.
For the first time in almost three months, he felt somewhat normal. The relief he felt for admitting to JC that he needed help to get through this had lifted a huge weight from his shoulders.
Now all he had to do was admit it to Ryan and try to piece back together what he had torn apart.
Pulling up to her building, he slid into a spot near the door and jumped out of the car.
The rain was falling so hard that he was soaked by the time he made it inside. Shaking the water from his hair, he pulled his jacket around him closer before walking up to the elevator and pushing the button for her floor.
The bell signally the arrival of the elevator, and Justin stepped inside quickly.
The ride was short, but it seemed like an eternity to him at that moment. All he wanted to do was tell her everything he had told JC the night before, and the waiting was killing him.
When he arrived on her floor, he stepped out quickly and turned down the hall towards her door.
Stepping up to the door, he knocked and stepped back while he waited for her to answer.
He had called his own house that afternoon from JCs, incase she had stayed there after he left. There had been no answer, so he assumed that she had come home.
After a few moments, he realized she hadn't yet answered the door. Puzzled, he knocked again.
Still, no answer.
Sighing, Justin pulled his keys from his coat pocket, flipping through them to find his copy of the key to her apartment. Finding the right key, he slid it onto the lock and stepped inside.
It was quiet in the apartment. The only sounds he could hear was that of the rain and thunder outside.
He walked further inside, looking around. "Ryan?" he called out.
No answer.
He peaked inside every room, only to find them empty. Where was she?
Stepping inside her bedroom, he looked around. Something caught his eye immediately.
Her closet door was open, some of her clothes gone. The hair brush that always sat on top of the dresser by the window was missing, as well. Looking at the night table, Justin realized that something else was gone too. The picture of him and her that she always kept there.
Feeling himself begin to panic, Justin rushed out into the hall. "Ryan!" he yelled, running through every room in search of her.
She wasn't there.
Justin was freaking out by now, and for the life of him he couldn't understand where she could have gone.
Calming himself, he ran into the living room and sat on the edge of the couch. Grabbing the phone on the end table, he quickly dialed a familiar number and placed the phone to his ear.
On the third ring, the person answered. "Hello?"
"Lois!" Justin exclaimed through the phone. "Have you seen Ryan?"
There was silence on the other end of the line for a long while before Lois answered. "Yeah."
Justin waited for her to continue, but she never did. When it was clear to him that she had no intention on answering further, he spoke up. "Well, where is she?"
"Gone." she replied flatly.
Justins face dropped immediately at her words. "Gone? What do you mean, gone?"
"I mean gone." Lois repeated. "She came over here last night after your jackass attack, and she stayed over here."
"So she's at your place?" Justin stated.
"No." she replied.
"Well," Justin urged. "Where is she."
"Gone."
"UGH!" Justin groaned in frustration. Lois was a real pain in the ass when she wanted to be. Which was most of the time.
"Okay, okay." he composed himself, figuring he could sweet talk her into telling him what was going on. "So, you helped her last night. Thank you for doing that. I know I was not exactly the best boyfriend in the world, but....." he was cut off by a ranting Lois.
"Not the best boyfriend last night?" she yelled. "Not the best? You fucking bet your ass your weren't the best! You were the worst, Justin! She goes and apologizes for YOU being an asshole, and all you can do is be an even bigger asshole in return? You're just lucky you weren't anywhere near me last night, cause those famous curls of yours would be scattered from here to Timba-fucking-too!"
"I'm sorry, Lois." Justin apologized. "I just lost it. I didn't mean for things to end up like this."
"I know you didn't mean it Justin, but that doesn't change the fact that things ARE like this." Taking a few deep breaths, Lois calmed her nerves before telling Justin was she was certain would blow him away. "You know what she said to me last night?"
"Hmm?"
"That she doesn't think you love her anymore."
Justins eyes popped open wider than they ever had before. "What?" he asked, trying to grasp what she had told him.
"She thinks that you don't care anymore. She thinks that you wont even care if she left."
"How could she think that?" Justin asked. "I mean, I love her more than anything in the world. I would die for that girl, Lois!"
Lois smiled at the phone. Now they were getting somewhere.
"When was the last time you told her that, Justin?" her tone was flat when she spoke.
He had already pondered that exact question throughout the night after JC had asked it to him. And he still couldn't remember the answer.
When he didn't reply, Lois continued. "She decided to take some time away from you. She thinks you need time to sort through your priorities and get your life back in order, and she thinks that it would be easier for you to do that if she wasn't hanging over your shoulder."
Justin didn't answer. All he could do was stare at the floor. She had left? She had left because of him.
"Where did she go?" he asked, his voice filled with tears.
"I'm not supposed to say." Lois said, her heart sinking at the tone in Justins voice.
"Please." he begged. "Please. I need to talk to her." Justin sniffed back a tear. "I need to tell her that I'm sorry and that she was right." Pausing to wipe a tear from his cheek, Justin sighed. "I need to tell her that I need her help."
Of all the things for Justin to say just then, that was at the bottom of the 'Things Lois Expects Justin To Say' list. Actually, it was right below him saying "Lois, I want to make hot, crazy, passionate monkey love with you, and I want you to bare my children." That, and "My toes taste like ice cream" Either way, it was at the bottom of the list.
She had certainly not expected him to admit that he needed help this fast, if ever. The most she had hoped for was that he would realize he was pushing Ryan and everyone else away, and fix that part of his life. But she hadn't expected him to admit that he needed help in putting his life back together. That he was wrong for pushing himself so hard and was only causing more damage than good.
Sighing into the phone, Lois struggled with the options in front of her.
Should she tell Justin where Ryan was, so that he could go and fix everything he had done? What if all he did was cause more shit, and this whole emotional scene was just a primary reaction? If that was the case, then she better put her lawyer on retainer, because she would be in jail for murder.
But Ryan had asked her repeatedly not to tell Justin where she was just yet. She needed time to sort through her own emotions before she would be ready to face his again.
Deep down Lois knew how much Justin really did love that girl. Even if he had lost his way with her for a little while, he was beginning to see that he was wrong.
"Lois?" Justins lost voice called through the phone again. "Please. Tell me where she is."
Looking outside at the stormy night sky, Lois sighed loudly.
She may regret this later, but it wasn't later yet.
"She's at her parents."
