Chris nervously drummed his fingers on the white tablecloth. His leg bounced under the table of the booth where he sat, as his eyes scanning the room.
He didn't know why he was nervous. Probably because of all the crap going on right now.
It wasn't easy being friends with both of them anymore. When he was with one, he found himself thinking of the other and wondering what they would think if they knew where he was.
Not that they would hold a grudge to him for being there. He knew that. But still, he didn't like it.
He didn't have anymore time to mentally complain to himself, before the lovely, slender young woman slid into the seat next to him.
He smiled at her like he had a million times before. And like she always did, she smiled back.
He liked being there for her. Even if it was just to talk about Justin, it made him feel good to know that she wasn't alone. That she didn't feel like an outcast among them now that she had broken up with him.
"Hey" he smiled as she placed her purse on the seat beside her.
"Hey." she returned with her trademark smile.
A waiter stopped at their table, asking if they would like anything from the bar. Chris ordered a coke, while she ordered her usual water.
When left alone again, Chris suddenly felt sad. If only he could say what he wanted to say. But he knew he couldn't. He had promised Justin, and would never break that promise.
"How have you been?" she asked as she pushed her shoulder length hair behind her ears.
"Good." Chris nodded. "How are you doing?"
She smiled as her eyes fell to the table top in front of her. "Sometimes its hard to tell."
Chris understood all too well. They had had this conversation many times, and the outcome was always the same.
The waiter returned with their drinks, and departed just as quickly.
She twirled her straw in her drink as the thought.
"I don't really have too much time." she said. "I just wanted to say hi and stuff, since we're in the same city."
"Yeah, I know. We don't really get to see you much anymore." Chris agreed as he sipped his coke.
She nodded sadly. She missed them all so much. They were like her family, and even though she knew they would always be there for her, she felt so far away from them since breaking up with Justin.
They spent the next hour talking about the tour, what rumors had been going around about them and everything else they would normally talk about. It was almost as if nothing had changed.
Time passed faster than either of them would have liked, and before they knew it, it was time to go.
"I should probably get back to my hotel." she smiled weakly as she poked at the ice cubes in the bottom of her glass.
"Yeah." Chris nodded. "Joeys probably stolen all my gum since I left my suitcase open."
She laughed. Knowing Joey, that is exactly what he had done.
She gathered her purse, setting it in her lap. She didn't stand up, though. She just locked her brown eyes on the glass in front of her. Chris knew exactly what she was going to say.
"If you see him, tell him I wish him well." she whispered sadly.
"I will." Chris assured as he watched her from across the table.
There was the usual silence, the one that Chris had grown accustomed to in their recent conversations, before she continued. "I still miss him more than ever." Her voice was soft, her emotions obviously taking their toll. "Nothings changed. Deep down, Ill love him for the rest of my life." She raised her sad eyes to his, fighting back her heart. "I still need him so much."
Chris felt his heart break at the sad girl in front of him. The beautiful woman that he had known all these years, the one who was always so happy and full of life, was breaking down in front of him like she had many times before.
And like all those times, he couldn't do the one thing he wanted. To tell her the truth.
Sniffing back her tears, she smiled weakly. "Even if it takes forever, Ill still be here."
Chris sighed. He knew that without her having to say a word.
She quickly composed herself, wiping her eyes with the napkin on the table before standing and walking with Chris out of the small bar.
Outside, the sun beat down on them, warming their skin. People walked by them, not giving either a second look as they hurried on their way.
She turned to give Chris a smile. "Thank you, Chris. For everything."
"Anytime. You know Ill always be here for you." he assured.
"I know."
After exchanging hugs, Chris waved down a taxi and helped her inside.
Once safely in the cab, she rolled down the window and looked up at him.
"Um, can you do something for me?" she asked.
"Anything."
"Can we keep all that stuff just between us?"
Chris knew this was coming. And as always, he agreed.
"Of course."
"Thanks, Chris." she smiled appreciatively.
"You're welcome." he smiled back as the taxi drove away.
Chris groaned as yet another shot failed. He really sucked at billiards, and didn't even know why he bothered playing.
Justin laughed at him when his shot missed the target completely. "Dude, you really suck at this."
"Thanks, man. I didn't realize that. I could never have figured it out without your help." Chris replied sarcastically.
Justin rolled his eyes at his friend before taking his shot. With a hard snap of the cue, the ball flew into a corner pocket.
Smiling proudly, Justin straighten his back, and blew on the end of his cue triumphantly.
Chris laughed at him.
They played in silence for a while, and Chris didn't miss how Justins face slowly fell from a happy smile to one of sadness.
Leaning back on the wall, Justin held his cue out in front of him. "She's in town, you know."
Chris stood up after yet another failing shot, stepping back from the pool table in front of him. "I know."
Justin nodded as if Chris had asked him a question. "You still talk to her?"
Chris lowered his eyes to the table. "Yeah. Sometimes."
Again, Justin nodded.
Chris wanted to tell Justin that he had seen her that morning. To tell him everything that she had said. How she still loved him and wanted him back. But he had promised Britney, and would never break that promise
They continued to play pool for a long while, neither saying a word.
When Justin had finally won the game, he danced mockingly at Chris before placing his cue on the table.
Sitting on the small couch in the corner of the game room, Justin sighed.
Chris knew what was coming. He reluctantly joined his friend on the couch.
Justin fidgeted with his fingers, picking at his nails while he thought.
"Chris?"
"Yeah?"
Justin was silent, while Chris waited for him to continue. "Um," he sighed. "If you see her, tell her I'm doing fine."
Chris nodded.
"And if you want to, tell her that I think of her." Justins eyes didn't raise from his hands. "Maybe," he paused. "Maybe ask her if she ever wonders where we both went wrong." Justin smiled weakly when he thought of his request. "Not that it will change anything."
"Okay, J." Chris agreed.
They again sat in silence. Justin picking at his hands, while Chris waited for the conversation to continue.
"I still want her." Justin finally spoke up, his voice cracking with emotion. "I honestly don't know why we let each other go."
Chris didn't say a word. He only stared at his young friend, and the hurt and loss in his eyes.
It killed Chris more than he could ever say to know that he had the power to change everything, but couldn't because of a promise.
"Ill be in love with her for the rest of my life, wont I?" Justins sad voice echoed in Chris' head.
"I don't know." he lied.
Justin nodded blankly as he stood his emotions away and gathered himself. Sighing deeply, he stood up from the couch, and waited for Chris to follow him to the elevator.
The two entered in silence, as Justin pushed the button for their floor.
Thankfully, no fans were allowed in the hotel, and they were able to relax without having to put on a front for the camera.
When they reached their floor, they both stepped out and turned towards their rooms.
Stopping at Justins door, he smiled at Chris. "Thanks, man." he said, holding out his hand for Chris to take.
Smiling down at the extended gesture, Chris took it and pulled Justin towards him in a hug.
Pulling back after a moment, Chris patted Justin on the back before he turned to head towards his own room.
"Chris?" Justins voice stopped him, and he turned back to his friend.
"Yeah?"
"Um, could you not tell anyone about what we talked about?" Justin asked, his eyes sad yet again.
All he wanted was to tell them everything. Tell them how much they still loved each other, and that everything they thought they had lost was still there.
But again, he did what he had been doing for the last three months.
"Okay, man." he agreed.
"Thanks, dude." Justin smiled. "And if you see Britney, just make sure she's okay."
"I will."
Nodding his head in appreciation, Justin disappeared behind his door.
Chris stood out in the hall for a while, rocking back and forth on his heels.
Sighing sadly, he turned towards his room.
This is what it had come to. Two people who loved each other so much, kept apart because of the fear of admitting they still needed each other. Of admitting that letting each other go was the biggest mistake of their lives.
Opening the door to his room, Chris stepped inside and closed the door.
He sighed as he leaned his back against the door.
Letting each other go wasnt the biggest mistake of their lives anymore. It was not admitting that they still loved each other.
