Justins eyes widened as he noticed her from across the room. He knew their paths would cross eventually, but this was a little too soon for him. He wasn't quite ready to face her yet. He didn't know what to say, and he didn't know what to do.
So all he did was stare.
She noticed him only moments after he noticed her. She was just as shocked as he was that they were there at the same time.
She felt a little silly for being surprised. They were bound to run in to each other at some point. They went to the same places around home, and attended the same functions. But just because it was inevitable that they would meet again, didn't mean that she had any plan on what to say to him now that this situation had arisen.
Their eyes locked, only for a moment, before he looked away. He immediately moved his eyes to the table in the far corner of the room. A smile pressed his lips as he saw her, laughing as she talked to Lance.
She had been the only thing to keep him sane the last few months. She had held him together, being his strength in more ways than she would ever know.
She was his shoulder to cry on, listening for hours while he talked about what he had lost. She understood completely, confiding in him that she had gone through the exact same thing recently.
It comforted him to know that she knew how he felt. He honestly didn't think that anyone would understand, but she did. And it helped him through.
Smiling at her laughter, he turned back to the familiar face across the room. Again their eyes met, but this time, they did not waver.
Slowly, she took small steps across the room, through the crowd, towards him.
They both knew that this was something that they had to face at some point. If they didn't, it would haunt them, being forever in the back of their minds. They would never be able to let go if they didn't at least speak to each other.
And there was no better time than now.
At least here, they would have to behave themselves. The media would love to get the scoop on an ex-lovers quarrel at the Jive function. Especially one between them. It would be as if Christmas had come twice this year for those sadistic people.
Taking the last, uneasy step forward, she found herself in front of him.
It made her uneasy to know that at one time, being this close to him made her feel more comfortable than anything in the world. And now she was so terrified, she thought her knees were going to give out.
It was funny to her how things had changed.
Looking up into those familiar blue eyes, she tired her best to give a convincing smile.
"Hey, Justin." she said, her voice quiet.
She was relieved when he returned her smile, even though she could tell he was having just as much trouble keeping his composure as she was.
"Hey, Britney." he replied.
Now this was what they had been dreading. That inevitable, awkward silence that always followed the initial greeting. This was the worst kind of silence. The kind where you both know what each other is thinking, but don't dare say a word about it.
The kind that was only felt between two people who were still trying to let each other go.
Justins eyes unintentionally turned to her again, as she was still laughing with Lance. A smile came to his face, as it always did when he saw her smiling.
Britneys eyes follow the direction of his, and the corners of her mouth turned down slightly.
"Who's that?" she asked. As soon as the words left her mouth, she wanted to smack herself so hard in the head that she would cause herself to black out, and hopefully suffer a severe case of amnesia, so that she wouldn't have to remember that she had actually just asked that question.
Justin noticed how her eyes closed painfully at the words that had escaped her mouth. He tired not to laugh, but she was still too cute when she was embarrassed.
He knew her, and she was thinking that he was going to be mad at her for asking. But at this point, it wouldn't matter what she asked him. It wouldn't change anything now, anyway.
"She's my girlfriend." he said. He knew the words were going to sting a little. Hell, he felt strange saying them. But it was the truth.
Britney only nodded in response, her eyes still glued to the dark haired girl across the room.
Britney had to admit that she was a lovely girl. Long, dark hair, and a friendly smile. She was having the time of her life, laughing with Lance over something, and Britney could tell just by the way she laughed that she was a good person. She believed you could tell a lot about a person in the way they laughed. And if this girls laugh was any indication to what she was truly like, then she was happy for Justin.
She had to be.
"So," he said, breaking another awkward silence. He opened his mouth to continue, but no words came out. He didn't even know what to say. Britney was still watching Lauren from across the room, her eyes focused on her.
After a few moments, Britney spoke up. She knew she was going to kill herself for this later, but it wasn't later yet. She just needed to know. "Are you happy?"
Justin was a little surprised at her question. He looked at her hard for a moment, trying to figure out if she was asking because of Lauren, or because she really wanted to know. He couldn't really tell at the moment, so he answered her. "Truthfully?"
Britney turned her eyes back to his.
"I don't know."
If she had heard him, she didn't let on. She just continued to look at him, her face completely unreadable.
Over the last few months, there had been so many things that Justin wanted to tell her. Mostly things that he needed to get off his chest, but at the way Britney had just been looking at Lauren, everything he thought had just found a new meaning. A completely new direction that he didn't know if he should let them take.
Shaking his head at himself, he let himself go.
Fuck his thoughts.
"My heart is hanging on by a thread." he whispered, lowering his head closer to hers so that none of the people around them could hear what was being said between them. Nodding his head towards Lauren, he continued. "She's the only reason it isn't breaking."
Britneys face stayed somber, but Justin could see the hint of heartbreak in her eyes. He knew her too well.
"Do I ever cross your mind?" she asked.
Justin grinned a little at her question. If she only knew how many times he had thought about her. God, she was all he ever thought about.
But he opted for the more subtle route.
"Truth? Yeah, you still do."
Britney nodded her head a little, lowering her eyes to his chest.
She didn't want him to see her emotions shine through her eyes at that moment. He knew her too well, and she knew that he could read her better than anyone else in the world.
And there was no way in hell she was going to let him read her thoughts right then.
"I know you'd never ask her name, but I can tell that you're wondering." Justin stated.
Britneys eyes shot up to his again, and she knew immediately that he saw what she didn't want him to see. What she didn't want to have to admit to herself.
"I'm no good at playing games, Brit." he said, giving her a weak smile. "I'm just trying to keep myself sane. I can see everything in your eyes, and you know I can," his smile widened a little when she immediately lowered her eyes at his words. "I know we still have feelings for each other, but its not the love that we once knew."
She nodded again. That was all she could seem to make herself do right then. Just nod.
God, she hated how she got all retarded whenever this man was around.
She had been struggling with the fact that she knew Justin still loved her. That was one of the reasons she didn't want to see him. She still loved him, but it was too hard to be together anymore. So she told herself as much as possible that she didn't love him anymore.
She told herself that it was for his sake, incase she saw him again. But deep down, she knew that it was for her.
She was trying to convince herself.
"All the pain that we went through, I still think about, you know?" she managed to squeak out. She had to get her part in this conversation at some point. "Getting past the love we lost, is the hardest thing Ive ever had to do."
"I know." he reassured her as best he could.
He knew she was about to break, and he didn't want her to have to go through that. Especially here.
Turning his head back to Lauren, he smiled a little. "That is why I did what I had to do." he said. Britney raised her eyes to his, and followed the direction of his gaze as he continued. "That is why she is here." he sighed.
Looking back down to the one girl he ever loved, Justin smiled.
"She's helping me get over you."
Britney felt her heart fall at his words. She knew she couldn't take anymore of this, but somehow couldn't make herself step away from him.
He still had such a strong hold on her, that she couldn't break away. He was like a magnet, that drew her to him.
A loud call sounded over the chattering crowd, as both Britney and Justin turned to see a young man waving to them.
Britney waved back, signally to the man that she would be right there.
Turning back to Justin, she saw the confusion on his face.
He looked back down to her, and noticed her features had softened.
"Who is that?" he asked. God, he couldn't believe he had just asked that. Now he knew what she must have felt like when she had asked that very question only moments before.
"That's Daren." she whispered as he reached up to hug Justin close.
She familiar feeling of being in his arms comforted her, and also gave her the feeling of closure she had needed for so long.
Pulling back, she gave Justin a weak smile before backing away to head towards the other man.
Justin eyes followed her, as she still faced him as she walked away.
Grinning at him, Britney sighed as she gave him a small wave.
Before turning around to disappear in the crowd, she called back to Justin.
"He's helping me get over you."
