Justin jogged down the stairs, turning into the living room. He stood inside the doorway, looking around at the concerned faces that filled the room. JC sat in the recliner right inside the door, with Janssyn on the couch. Her knees pulled to her chest, she chewed on her nails nervously. They both turned and looked at Justin as he entered.
"She's still sleeping." he said, before flopping down on the couch beside Janssyn. He ran his hands through his hair roughly, rubbing his forehead with his palms.
Taking another look around the room, he spoke up again. "Where's Warren?"
"He went back to the studio." JC answered, jutting his hip forward to lower himself further into the plush chair. "Said he was supposed to be at a meeting before some curly haired string bean abducted him."
"Oh I know you're not talking about being a string bean, Chasez." Justin defended, giving JC a hard look. JC grinned slightly, his eyes still locked on his fidgeting hands.
Justin leaned back further, looking over at Janssyn. She looked back at him and smiled weakly. He figured now wouldn't be the best time to tell her that she had a zit on her forehead, so he just returned the smile.
"You know," JC spoke up. "I just don't understand what was so damn important that she had to go over there." He wasn't even going to start about the fact she had lied to him. Not yet.
"I know how much that album meant to her, but she should have just waited." Janssyn included. She tucked her feet under her, shifting her weight. "She's so stubborn sometimes."
"Yeah, like a certain other blue eyed singer we all know." Justin added, nodding his head in the direction of JC.
"Don't you start about being stubborn, Justin Randall!" JC pointed at Justin, who just smiled back at him. "You are the most stubborn person I know!"
As the two men continued to argue over who was more stubborn, a large cream album caught Janssyns attention as it lay on the coffee table in front of her. Leaning forward, she picked it up, and placed it in her lap. She absent mindedly ran a finger over the gold trim around the edges.
Flipping open the cover, Janssyn smiled at the images staring back at her. She flipped through the pages, barely focusing on the pictures inside. Just taking in the memories of her friend that were captured on these pages.
"Hey guys..." she spoke up.
"You're the one who pushed Chris into the mud because he said you weren't pretty!" JC yelled at Justin.
"Well, I am pretty, damn it!"
How the hell had they gotten on to this subject? "Guys?" she repeated.
"Well, at least I didn't loose my underwear at an after party, J." JC taunted.
"Well, you're the one who......." Justin was cut off by Janssyns hand clamping over his mouth. He continued to finished his sentence, even though it came out as just a mumble.
"Guys!" she yelled, looking between the two. "I think I understand what was so important."
JC looked at her, Justin turning his head to shake her hand from his mouth. "Hey, you taste like sugar." he commented, licking his lips.
Flipping over a few pages, Janssyn smiled down at the pictures in front of her. "Look."
Justin scooted closer to her, JC joining her other side. They all looked over the page, smiles coming to their faces.
Staring back at them was a picture of the three of them, sitting on that very couch, smiling like they were right then. Lauren had taken it the day of Chris' birthday party. They were all at JCs waiting to head over to the hotel where the party was being held. Joey had taken Chris out for the day, and they had spent most of that time decorating. Lance was on his way over to pick them up. Justin laughed when he realized he was wearing the same shirt right then as he had been that day.
Looking over to the other side, they saw a picture of Lance and Joey. Joey had jumped on Lances back, bringing him to the ground. Joey had started yelling "Giddy up, Mississippi!" pretending to ride Lance like a horse, smacking his ass. Moments after Lauren had taken the photo, Lance bucked Joey off.
Turning the page, they found so many more memories. Most of which they all remembered, smiling more with each one. They understood why this was so important to her. Because they were important to her.
A creak at the entrance to the living room brought their attention from the photos to the woman standing at the door. She stood with her arms crossed protectively over herself, wearing a oversized tshirt and pajama pants. Lauren stared down at the three of them, noticing her album in Janssyn lap.
JC sat at the far end of the couch, farthest away from her. He stared at her, noticing that her expression was blank. He was about to say something, when she beat him to it.
"I'm sorry." she said quietly. Clearing her throat, she spoke again. "For everything. I didn't mean to be such a bother, and all I seem to be doing is causing problems." Her eyes fell to the floor, like a child who was being reprimanded.
"You're not causing problems Lauren." JC answered, standing from his position on the couch. He slowly walked over to where she stood, still staring at the floor. Placing a finger under her chin, he gently raised her head to look at him. "And you could never, ever be a bother."
Lauren had stayed downstairs for a few hours, but went back to bed after a while. She was emotionally drained, and could barely keep her eyes open.
JC was still furious at her for lying to him, but now was not the time to scold her. He noticed she was nervous around him, probably scared of what he was going to say to her about going over to the apartment. She didn't know that he knew about the additional threats. He would confront her, eventually, but not just then. She was already struggling with everything going on around her, having him yell at her was the last thing she needed.
By eight o'clock, Janssyn headed home. JC promised to call her if he needed her, saying that she could come by the next day if she wanted to. He didn't have to go in to the studio the next day, as it was Saturday, so he was going to be there to watch over Lauren. Justin hugged Janssyn before she left, even grabbing her butt to lighten the mood. Janssyn couldn't believe he had done it, pulling back quickly in shock. "Hey, I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about." he smiled "But I think my butt is firmer." He added, turning to get a better look at his own posterior.
After watching Janssyn pull out of the drive, JC closed the door. Justin had already returned to the living room, flopping down to lay on the couch.
JC had not forgotten about what Justin had said to him earlier. What did Justin mean that they all knew a long time ago? What did they know? How could they know something about him that he didn't?
He was not oblivious to the way his feelings for Lauren were changing. It had been brought to his attention full force that day in the pool. But he had dismissed it as a momentary reaction, and nothing more. But when he thought back to the times since then, he realized just how much more aware of her he had been. When she entered a room, he felt himself light up. A smile always coming to his face. But if he was only just now beginning to realize these things, how could the guys have known all along?
Joining Justin in the living room, JC returned to his place in the chair. He could feel Justins eyes on him, knowing he was probably thinking along the same lines and he was at that moment. JC could see a small grin forming on Justins face. Damn little punk.
"Stop undressing me with your eyes, Justin." JC taunted, trying to turn the subject away before it even got started.
"I'm not screaming yet, am I? So obviously, Im not undressing you with my eyes." Justins knowing grin never wavered.
They sat in silence for a short while. Just as Justin was about to say something, the phone rang above his head. JC sighed with relief as Justin reached over his head to answer the screeching phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, baby." Britneys cheery voice called through the line. Justins face softened, a dreamy smile replacing the mocking grin.
"Hey. How's the tour going?"
"Good. Same old stuff. How are things at home? You guys getting any work done?"
"A little. Things are okay."
"How's Lauren?"
When Justin didn't answer right away, Britney asked again. "Justin? What's wrong? How is Lauren?"
"Well, she kinda had another run in with Jimmy today." Just could see JC stirring uncomfortably in his seat at the mention of Jimmys name.
"What!" Fear took over Britneys senses, pressing the phone closer to her ear. "Is she alright?"
"Yeah, shes okay. Its a long story, but Ill tell you later."
When there had been no answer at home, Britney had automatically assumed Justin would be next door. She didn't press for the details, figuring JC was probably in the room also and didn't want to have to listen to them repeated. "Okay. Well, I just called to check in. Tell everyone I miss them and love them."
"I will"
"I love you."
"I love you too, Pinky."
They exchanged their goodbyes, and Justin placed the phone on the table at his side. Looking over at JC, he noticed that his eyes were still locked on his hands.
"Hows Brit doing?" he asked, not lifting his head to look at Justin.
"Okay. She says hi."
JC nodded in response, picking at his nails.
Before they could fall back into another awkward silence, Justin spoke up. "You know, C, its okay to feel this way."
"I know." JC whispered in response. He still didn't look up from his hands.
Justin was amazed that he didn't argue. He knew that JC wasn't stupid, and that he was completely aware of his feelings for Lauren. But he was determined not to face them. He was scared to lose her by admitting how he felt. Ruining everything they had just because he was stupid enough to fall in love with his best friend was not something he was prepared to do.
"So, what are you going to do?" Justin sat up on the couch, leaning his elbows on his knees.
"I don't know." JCs face remained emotionless. He seemed fascinated with his thumbs, which were circling each other from his entwined fingers.
"You still lost?"
"Completely."
Justin was actually glad JC had said that. He smiled, leaning forward to pull a piece of paper from his back pocket. He tossed the folded page to JC, it landing on his folded legs.
JC looked at the paper confused. "Well, open it up." Justin encouraged. He was smiling at JC excitedly.
JC reached down and picked the paper off his leg. Throwing Justin a confused glance, he unfolded the page carefully. Upon unfolding the last bend in the page, JCs look was even more confused. What the hell was this?
"Its a map." Justin said, reading JCs face. Standing, Justin walked over and knelt down at the side of the chair beside JC. Justin began to explain his creation.
"Earlier, I said you were lost." Justin began, looking at JCs bewildered eyes. "You said for me to draw you a map." Grinning proudly, he continued. "So I did."
"You drew me a map?" Was this kid for real?
"Yup." Justin turned his eyes to the paper still in JCs hands, and began to run a finger over the lines he had drawn.
"This is you." Justin pointed to a tiny stick figure in the upper left corner of the page. The little man had on a safari hat, and wide smile. The letters 'JC' scrawled above his head. "And this is Lauren" Justins finger pointed to the bottom right corner, to another stick figure. This one with long hair, wearing a dress. 'Lauren' written above her head.
JC looked at the middle of the page at another stick figure. This one had a frown, his little arm raised over his head, squiggling lines drawn to suggest him flailing his tiny hand. "What is this?" JC asked, pointing to the figure.
"That's Jimmy." Justin said proudly, pointing to the name above the drawing. 'Dickweed' was written above.
Justin pointed to the little 'JC' figure again, leaning forward on his knees to get a better look at his masterpiece. "So, this is you. You're a little explorer, and you're trying to find the girl of your dreams." Oh god, Justin was so corny be belonged on a cob. Running his finger down a few lines, Justin continued. "You start on your merry way," Justin added a whistle, to the tune you would hear at a circus, as his finger glided over a line that led to a dead end. "Ooopps, dead end." He started back at the beginning again, continuing his whistle as JC rolled his eyes. "You know its not going to be easy to find this girl, because there is the evil 'Dickweed' lurking about" Justin poked the drawing in the center of the page hard with one finger. "But you are not to be denied. So you carry on," Justin whistling resumed, and JC wished he had never taught him how to do that. Just as he was about to scream, Justin stopped his whistle. "Just as you think you've lost all hope, an amazingly handsome, earth shatteringly charming fairy god pop star offers you a hand." Justin smiled broadly, pointing to another figure JC hadn't noticed. This one, with the words 'Ruler of the World' written above, held a tiny wand in his hand. Curly hair and a overly large smile adorned his head. "Giving you an enchanted map, you follow the trail. And then, you find her." Justins finger slowly tracing a line leading to the 'Lauren' figure. Smiling up at JC, Justin nodded. "In the last place you thought to look." JC turned to look at Justins smiling face. "Turns out she was right in front of you all along."
JC couldn't help but smile. This was too much. He couldn't believe Justin had actually drawn him a map. Justin had never listened to him before, and the one time he did was when he was being sarcastic? This kid needed therapy.
JC stared at the map, amazed at the effort Justin had put into it.
When JC had left Laurens room, Justin knew he had to make a map. Even if he never got to use it, he knew it would be the perfect thing to show JC what to do if he needed it. Grabbing a page from Laurens notebook beside her phone, Justin sat on the corner of her bed, drawing a detailed journey. He had been quite proud of himself when he had finished. And his mom said he wasn't good at art! Whatever!
Folding it up neatly, he placing it in his back pocket before smiling down at Lauren who was still sleeping. "He's coming around, Pebble. I think he just needs a little help from his fairy god pop star."
"So, Ill ask you again." Justin stood from his position beside JCs chair. Placing his hands on his hips, he looked down at his friend. "What are you going to do?"
JC continued to smile at the little people on the page. Even in drawings, Justin made himself out to be superior. "So, Ill answer you again." JC looked up at Justin. "I don't know."
"Dude!" Justin threw his arms in the arm dramatically. "I drew you a freaking map! Follow the damn thing!"
"What do you want me to do, J? Run up there, pull her into my arms, tell her I love her and kiss her passionately?" Hey, that didn't sound half bad.
"YES!" Justin stopped his foot, nodding enthusiastically.
"Well, its not that easy." JC turned his eyes back to the page. His face drawn back into an emotionless stare.
"Who said it was going to be easy? Were you not listening to the story?" Justin scolded, hands replaced on his hips. "I never said it was going to be easy. As a matter of fact, I think my exact words were 'You know its not going to be easy to find this girl'. But that doesn't mean you should just give up!" Justins voice lowered. "Don't give up when you still have sometime left to give."
That brought JC to face Justin. His face was still emotionless, but at least he reacted. "I'm scared"
Justin sat back on the couch. He knew this wasn't easy for JC to have to go through. But he also knew that he would never forgive himself if he didn't at least try. "I know you're scared, bro. But you have to try. You'll never know if you don't."
JC just nodded, running a finger over the lines of Justins map.
"You know," Justin called. "Regret for the things we do can be tempered by time. Regret for the things we did not do" JC eyes rose to Justin as he finished his quote "That is inconsolable"
JC stared at Justin shocked. "Don't be too impressed," Justin smiled. "I got that from Laurens quote book."
JC laughed. God, this kid was too much. One minute he was drawing maps and stick figures, the next he was making insightful comments.
"Listen, think of it this way." Justin spoke up. "Telling her how you feel cant be any harder than not telling her. How would you feel if you had to watch her be with someone else? With Jimmy, you didn't have to worry, because you knew she didn't love him. But what if she met someone else, who treated her right, and you had to stand by and be the friend again?" Justin looked at JC carefully. "The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else."
"Another one of her quotes?" JC knew that Justin wasn't this good.
"Yup." He didn't bother denying it. Yeah he was good, but com'on now.
JC smiled. As much as he hated to admit it, Justin was right. If he wasn't honest with Lauren, things would fall apart. All he would be able to think about was how he felt, and how much it hurt not to be able to be with her. He couldnt keep things from changing between them. They already had. There was only one thing left to do.
