Lauren sat quietly, staring out the window from her position in the back seat. She did her best to keep her anger in check, but it wasn't working too well with Joey still trying to convince her not to go back to the house.
"Oh! I have an idea!" This was his fifteenth idea in the last ten minutes. "Lets go to Disney Land!" Joey turned in his seat to look at Lauren, a hopeful, pathetic look on his face. She shot him a 'get real' look before turning her attention back out the window.
"Oh, no wait, I have a better idea....." Before Joey could dispel yet another stupid idea, Lance spoke up.
"Lauren," The tone of his voice was apologetic, so she answered him even though she didn't really want to talk to either of them at the moment.
"Yeah?" She made sure to keep a hint of annoyance in her voice. She wasn't going to let them off the hook that easily.
"I'm really sorry." He looked over at her quickly, before turning his attention back to the road ahead of him.
Damn it. If she didn't know any better she would swear he really was. But if it was sorry, then why had he done it in the first place? Sorry didnt always make up for things. It was amazing what a few hurtful words or actions would do, and that people thought the word 'sorry' would fix it. But she knew Lance and Joey were good guys, even if they were sneaky, underhanded dipshits sometimes.
"Mmhmm." She didn't want to accept his apology just yet. Not until she got home and found out what was going on. For all she knew, things were only going to get worse.
"Oh, how about we go shopping?" Joey spoke up, turning to look at Lauren again. "Ill buy ya somethin' pretty!" God, did he never shut up?
By the time Lances car turned onto JCs street, Joey was frantically trying to think of a way to keep Lauren from getting home. When Lance stopped the car at a stop sign, Joey jumped out of the car and ran around to lay down in front of it. Lauren was tempted to tell Lance to just run him over, but she wasn't that mad at him. Not yet anyway.
Instead, Lance pulled the car around him, passing him. They drove for a few houses, Joey running behind the car before Lance felt bad enough to stop and let him get back in. Hopping back in his seat, Joey looked between Lauren and Lance shocked. "I cant believe you guys just did that! What if you had run over my head or something!"
"Then you wouldn't have to worry about what I'm going to do to you later, Joey!" Lauren yelled from the back seat. He sat back in his seat, eyes still wide at the fact that they just drove around him and forced him to chase the car down the street.
Finally, they pulled up to the gates of the house. Lance programmed the code in, waiting for the gates to open. Slowly, they pulled apart, allowing Lance to drive through. He tried to take his time coming up the driveway, without making it too obvious that he was driving slower than he actually needed to.
When the car was finally parked in front of the garage, Lauren stepped out quickly, heading up the walkway. Joey was obviously still adamant about keeping her away, because he grabbed hold of her arm, screaming that he thought he had broken his leg. "Quick, Lauren you need to take me to the hospital! I think you guys ran over my leg when you drove around me!" Joey directed that particular part of his scream to Lance, who was following behind.
Lauren stopped, turning to look down at Joey who hung from her arm. He clung to her, his lower half dragging along the ground. "Your leg's broken, huh?" He nodded feverishly. "From when we drove around you?" Joey nodded again. "But you managed to run after the car with a broken leg?" she smiled down at him. Damn. He hadn't thought about that part.
Turning back towards the house, Lauren kept going, Joey still hanging from her arm screaming like a maniac. She managed to drag him almost effortlessly up to the door. Flinging the door open, she even drug him into the foyer, his whines and screams echoing through the house.
She looked around the house, which appeared to be empty. Joey finally let go of her arm, falling hard on the floor with a thud. He whimpered slightly, pretending to cry. "No one cares about me" he whined. "Fine, fine! Ill just be known as 'Gimpy Spice' from now on!"
"Get up, you moron." Lance whispered, pulling Joey to his feet. Lance could only shake his head at Joeys pathetic attempts at keeping Lauren from coming into the house. Why was he friends with his man?
Lauren stepped further into the house, looking around for any signs of activity. No sounds came from anywhere but behind her, where Lance and Joey stood with looks of nervousness on their faces.
"JC?" she called. No answer. "Justin?"
"Aunty Emm?" Joeys call sounded behind her. She turned to give him a warning glance. He pretending to be overly interested in the ceiling, whistling a little tune. Lance had his hand over his face, shaking his head.
Lauren walked quickly into the kitchen, only to find it empty. Running upstairs, she checked all the bedrooms, but found nothing. She returned to the foyer where Lance and Joey still stood. She was just about to ask them what was going on, when Justin emerged from the living room.
His hands in his pockets, he smiled at her warily.
"Justin, what's going on?" she asked him from her place on the stairs. She hadn't even made it all the way down before Justin had appeared.
"I cant really tell you." Justin shrugged. He had his eyes glued to the floor, rocking back and forth on his heels.
"What do you mean you cant tell me?" she questioned, her hands finding their way to her hips defiantly. "Did you or did you not tell Lance and Joey to keep me out today?" If he wasnt going to offer up information, she was going to dig it out of him.
"Yes" he answered honestly. His eyes still not raising from the floor. Lauren looked him over carefully, noticing that even though his eyes were on the floor, they held no remorse. He didn't seem to feel bad about what was going on.
"And why did you do that?"
"Because I was told to." He rocked back a little too far on his heels, having to take a step back to steady himself.
"By JC?" her words came out more like a statement than a question. Justin simply nodded.
Laurens heart almost broke at that simple gesture. JC had actually wanted her out of his house for the day. Why, she didn't know, but it couldn't have been a good thing. Her anger was clouded slightly by her feelings of hurt and confusion. She knew what she had done was wrong, but if he didn't let her explain or at least apologize, not that an apology would make it better but at least it was a start, then how were they going to fix anything?
Laurens shoulders deflated. She slowly lowered to sit herself on the stairs, placing her elbows on her knees. She clasped her fingers together, making one large fist which she pressed to her lips.
Lance and Joey just continued to stare at her, while Justin was still looking at the floor. He still had no signs of empathy, almost like he was just acting. Going along with the motions of what was expected of him. That thought caused Lauren to look at him closer. She could swear that she saw some kind of hidden smile behind his blue eyes. He was up to something.
"Okay." she said. 'Two can play this game....' she thought to herself.
"Okay what?" Justin finally looked at her confused.
"Okay, I have no choice." Lauren ran her hands over her face dramatically, before standing to wipe them on her jeans. "I think it would be best if I moved out."
The three men looked identical, with their shocked eyes and dropped chins.
"JC obviously cant stand the thought of being in the same house as me, so he had you all keep me away." she pretended to get teary for effect "Ive been enough of a bother to him already." She turned to head back up the stairs, when Justin jumped up the few steps, grabbing her ankle as he hit the stairs with a thud.
"NO!" he yelled.
Turning to look at him like he was insane, she questioned. "Why? Its obviously what he wants, so I'm going to do as he wishes." She attempted to turn back around and head up the stairs further, but Justins grasp on her ankles prevented her escape.
"No, no, no. You don't understand." Justin scrambled to get a better hold on her, scraping up the steps on his hands and knees.
Stopping to look down at him with a knowing smile, she tilted her head. "Then why don't you make me understand, Justin."
Looking up at her smile, he knew he had been had. Pulling back to get his feet under him, he positioned himself to sit on the stairs, looking up at her. Lance and Joey continued to watch the drama take place from their spot at the door. All they needed now was popcorn.
"Yes, he asked us to keep you out." Justin confessed. "But its not because he wants you to move out." He was nervously fumbling with his hands. "He's just mad and doesn't want to risk saying anything else to hurt you. So he figured it would be easier if Lance and Joey took you out for a day, to kinda get your mind off things a little, and give him time to cool off."
"So he was here?" she asked, taking a step down closer to Justins spot on the stairs. He merely nodded in response.
She thought about what Justin had told her. JC must be really mad to have them all go to such an extreme to keep her away from him. Even if it was only for a short time. But could she really blame him? After all she had done, between disrupting his life, lying to him, not to mention forcing him to have to deal with moving her in, she was surprised he hadn't done this earlier.
"You're right?" she admitted, cautiously walking around Justin to step down away from the stairs.
"I am?" What the hell was he right about? No one ever told him he was right? He got up and followed her as she stepped away from the stairs.
"Yes, you are." she paced around the middle of the foyer, her back to the farthest entrance to the living room. Justin walked around to her far side, his eyes jumping between her and the two still standing at the door. "I mean, why the hell should he forgive me after all the bullshit Ive put him through, right? I mean, its bad enough I dragged him into my messed up life with Jimmy, spilling all my emotional baggage on him, but then I repay his kindness by lying to him? What kind of friend am I?" she pointed to herself, giving them a look as if she wanted an answer. Before they could give one, she continued rambling "I mean, JC would have to be completely nuts to forgive me after all this crap. He would have to be out of his mind. I wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to me again! He would be better off never knowing me!"
"Shouldn't JC be the one to decide that?" a voice called from behind her. She froze mid-step, ceasing her frantic pacing. She closed her eyes, holding her breath. 'Oh god,' she thought 'Please tell me I'm hearing things. Please tell me that Chris, or Justin, or anyone else has just learned to impersonate JCs voice really, really well....'
Slowly, she turned to face the voice. Damn.
JC stood only a few feet away from her, hands in his pockets. He looked nervous, but a small smile was on his lips. He looked at her, his smile widening a little at how flustered she was.
Yes, he was still mad. Yes he was hoping for a few more hours before she got home to be able to figure out what to do about everything. He had spent most of the day since Joey and Lance had taken her out trying to figure out a way to make things right between them. He thought about just staying away, leaving her at the house, but he thought it would be better if she got out and got away from things. He knew how she worried and overanalyzed things to death, so this way she would have a little bit of a distraction. He had read over her quote book a million times, flipped through her albums, and even just sat in her room, trying to think of where things went wrong and how to fix them. Between her lying to him, and him admitting his feelings for her.....he didn't know which to address first. Which sounded less moronic? 'I cant believe you lied to me! Oh, by the way, Im in love with you.' or 'By the way, Im in love with you, but I cant believe you lied to me!' Both sounded like they would get him in the Guiness Book of World Records for stupidest way to admit you love someone.
Sensing the awkward tension, Justin took it as his cue to leave. Looking over at Lance and Joey, he clapped his hands excitedly "Hey!" he bounced. "Do you guys wanna see my room!?"
"Sure!" They answered in unison, faking actual interest. The three climbed the far stairs quickly, heading to the room Justin had taken over. Before they had closed the door, Lauren could hear Justin reprimand Lance and Joey. "I give you two one freaking job....." he was cut off by the door closing.
Now she was left alone with JC. Never in her wildest dreams would she ever had thought she would ever feel this uncomfortable around him. He was always such a source of comfort to her, that she never thought it possible to feel this awkward around him.
The two stood in silence for a few moments. JC rocking on his heels, Lauren fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Neither of them knew what to say. Both wanted to say the same thing, but this wasn't the time for that kind of a confession.
Finally, JC spoke up. "You didn't really think I wanted you to leave, did you?" he looked over at her in question.
"No," she smiled nervously. "I just wanted to make Justin confess."
JC had to smile at her scheme. Justin had always prided himself in being impossible to break when he was on a mission, but Lauren had brought him down. He would have to bug the kid about that later.
"So," Laurens smile was gone. "Where were you last night?" She raised her eyes to meet his.
"I stayed with Chris."
Lauren nodded, returning her eyes to the floor.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you last night." he apologized. Lauren looked back up at him, to find him looking directly at her. It was obvious in his eyes that he really was sorry.
"I know." she gave him a comforting smile. She knew that JC would never intentionally hurt her. He had just been mad. "JC, I am so sorry I lied to you." She wanted to get this all out before she lost her nerve. "I didn't want to keep anything from you, but I was terrified of what would happen if I told you. Please don't be mad at Justin for not telling you, either. I made him promise, and I have pretty good blackmail material on him, so he was kinda forced to keep my secret."
"Blackmail material" JC looked at her confused.
'Of everything I just said, that's the part he focuses on?' she thought to herself in disbelief.
"Yeah. But don't bother trying to get it out of me. I want to make sure I have something to hold over his head for a while." she joked.
JC laughed a little, before turning serious again. 'Lauren, were you ever going to tell me about the threats?"
After everything she had done, she wasn't going to lie to him anymore. "No" she said honestly.
Even though he appreciated her honestly, her answer made him angry. He hadn't been able to get over it all completely before they had been put into the situation they were in at that moment, so he wasn't too sure that he would be able to keep his temper under control. "So you were never going to tell me?" he asked, the anger already beginning to show in his voice.
"No." her voice was weaker this time, but she wasn't going to waver.
"So you were going to wait for Jimmy to hurt, kidnap or kill you before you let me find out what was going on, is that it?" He was getting angrier. All these thoughts had raced through his mind last night as he sat with Justin at the park, sat at Chris' listening to him ramble on about government cheese, and even when he tried to sleep......hearing Chris ramble from across the hall about some new kind of toilet paper and how it chaffed his butt.
"That wasn't going to happen." she looked at him shocked. She knew he was still upset, but she had hoped that he wouldn't freak out again. He was taking this a little far. "Jimmy was just trying to keep some sick hold on me."
"Yeah, he basically said that." he replied bitterly. "He did mention that every note, every phone call, made you think of him and fear him" JC paused for a moment as if trying to collect himself. "But you never told me that. You, the person who should have told me that, didn't tell me that."
"What do you want me to say, JC?" she yelled, exasperated, throwing her hands in the air. She was tired of trying to explain herself. How many times did she have to say it. "I'm sorry! Ive said that a million times already. I am sorry I kept it from you. I'm sorry I lied to you. But its done. I cant take it back. If I could, I would, but I cant!"
"Do you trust me?" His question shocked her, and she looked at him confused.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"I mean, do you trust me?" he repeated, taking a step forward.
After a moments pause, she answered "With my life."
"Then why didn't you trust me to be there for you now?" he asked, his voice showing his hurt.
"I did trust you to be there for me, but....."
She was cut off by him yelling "No you didn't, Lauren! Don't bullshit me! If you did trust me, you would have trusted that I would be there to help you. That I would do whatever it took to make sure that nothing happened to you. But you didn't even trust me enough to give me that chance."
With that, he stormed passed her. His anger was getting the best of him again, and he didn't want to make things worse. He had to get out of there before he said something he couldn't take back.
"Where are you going?" she asked, following behind him.
"Somewhere else." he answered angrily. He knew he shouldn't be taking this so personally, but he was. He cared more for her than anyone else in his life, and it killed him to know that she hadn't trusted him enough to help her through this.
Pulling open the door, he moved to go through. Laurens hand pushed the door shut, and she leaned her body against it.
"Please, just listen to me...." she pleaded, tears welling in her eyes. "I do trust you. More than I trust myself. I didn't know what would happen if I told you, and I had made such a mess out of everything already, that I didn't want to make it worse. I thought it would all go away on its own, and that I wouldn't have to involve you. I thought I would be able to handle it on my own." She was rambling, spouting off anything she could think of to make him understand. "Please, believe me."
Removing her from in front of the door gently, he sighed. He looked down at the floor, and Lauren thought he was going to accept everything she had said.
Swinging open the door again, he exited quickly, leaving her standing in the foyer, staring at the closed door. Tears slowly slid down her cheeks.
Hearing the door slam, Justin, Lance and Joey emerged from Justins room. Looking down at Lauren, their hearts fell. There she stood downstairs, shoulders deflated, staring at the closed door.
Justin made his way slowly down the stairs towards her, with Lance and Joey staying upstairs.
He walked up behind her, stopping a few feet back. She made no attempt to turn and face him. She just continued to stare at the front door.
"What happened?" he asked softly.
"He left." she answered, wiping a tear from her cheek.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Yeah." she said. "Answer a question for me."
"What?" 'God you sound stupid, Timberlake' he scolded himself. God, he sucked at this. If there was a quota for the number of stupid questions he had to ask in a day, he was reaching it right now.
"Tell me what to do when the only person who can make me stop crying, is the one who made me cry?"
Justins heart broke when her voice cracked as she spoke. Stepping up to her, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Burying his chin in the crevice of her neck, he leaned his cheek against hers, slowly rocking her back and forth.
"It gonna be okay" he whispered.
"No its not." she sniffed. "I feel completely lost."
Justin sighed, closing his eyes and burying his chin deeper into the crook of Laurens neck. 'Looks like I'm going to have to draw another map.' he thought to himself.
